Carseat photos on Facebook

Etiquette question here:

Is it ever okay to comment on someone's carseat usage because of a picture you saw posted on Facebook (or the Internet in general)? I don't necessarily mean publicly either. Like, if a picture is posted with loose, twisted straps, child not in properly, dangerous aftermarket accessories etc...would you say something to that person? Have you? Should you, or should you mind your own business? (Keeping in mind that a child could potentially be injured or worse as a consequence).

That's a tough call and would depend on the relationship. If I was close, I'd try a phone call or tactful PM. I don't know about if I wasn't close - maybe the same.

I haven't commented on a safety thing, but have PM'd someone about a possible health concern in their child, based on what I saw in a photo. It was a - hey, I don't really know if this is an issue, but something to check - kind of thing. They were fine with it.

I wouldn't publicly say something, but I would definitely say something. I actually told a stranger the other night that her choice could be very dangerous, and asked if she wanted assistance. I gave her suggestions and left it that. What she chooses to do isn't my business, but I know I gave her all the knowledge I had and I hope she makes a better decision than her original one.

eta - I didn't just randomly tell them. They were asking about a particular booster seat, and I told her I could help with its use as we have one, then she told me the age of child she was putting in there.. I told her it would bs very dangerous and suggested some bigger seats with 5 point harnesses.

nah- i wouldnt say anything- their parenting choices, and although you know that its wrong, it is up to the parent to make sure their child is restrained properly.

Look at the other point of view- how would you feel if someone said something to you about how you had your child restrained in their car seat??
If it is really getting to you, why not post something to the general audience on your wall so that the person has a chance to see it. even tag a few of your friends with kids in the same age bracket so that they now its been posted

would depend on the situation really. In a child restriant group, yep. Why not everyone else does.
If you think the child is in direct danger, then yes.
But if its after market accessories, or something that doesnt meet standards, I would politely ask where they got it/them from as I was sure they were unsafe, taken off the market etc.
BUt in my case, normally someone else brings it up before I ever get the chance to comment on the picture :lol:

I have & would again. Every single time I have it has either not gone down well or has been ignored but I bet that person didn't fob me off & actually did check what I said & hopefully corrected the issue. Except for one IL extended family member who took it as if I was saying she was purposely trying to kill her child when all I said was it wasn't legal to turn her son when he was not even 5 months old yet & that she might like to do some more research before keeping him that way. We no longer talk but meh I can sleep at night with my choices to tell people but Im not sure I could if I said nothing & they had an accident resulting in injury that could have been avoided.

If we're talking Facebook, I wouldn't say anything. We don't know what was happening when the picture was taken, maybe they were about to get them out of the car or do them up properly but took a pic first. Though in regards to aftermarket accessories I might enquire about what it was etc and then would be able to comment on it.

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nah- i wouldnt say anything- their parenting choices, and although you know that its wrong, it is up to the parent to make sure their child is restrained properly.

Look at the other point of view- how would you feel if someone said something to you about how you had your child restrained in their car seat??

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What if they just weren't aware? Letting them know could save a child's life. Imagine not saying something, there's an accident and the parents wished someone had said something.
If someone made you aware of something to prevent injury or worse for your child wouldn't you be grateful?

It is a tough one though because there's always the chance you will be told to mind your own business. I guess it's what you can live with, being told off or knowing you could have said something to help.
I would never say anything publicly though, unless the photo was posted with a question or advice wanted.

Depends what it was I guess. I have an acquaintance on FB who doesn't put the shoulder straps on her children in their carseats. She's an intelligent woman and I'm sure she quite aware the shoulder straps are supposed to go on. Because of that and because I don't know her closely I haven't said anything. She has clearly made a conscious choice to put her children in their seats like that.

I did have another friend on FB once post something about the "pinch rule" which I had never heard about before. She was passionate that everyone make sure they follow the pinch rule and posted a link so I read it and asked her more about it and she helped me make my children safer in the car. So I think posting something generic can help if you would like to do that.

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I have & would again. Every single time I have it has either not gone down well or has been ignored but I bet that person didn't fob me off & actually did check what I said & hopefully corrected the issue. Except for one IL extended family member who took it as if I was saying she was purposely trying to kill her child when all I said was it wasn't legal to turn her son when he was not even 5 months old yet & that she might like to do some more research before keeping him that way. We no longer talk but meh I can sleep at night with my choices to tell people but Im not sure I could if I said nothing & they had an accident resulting in injury that could have been avoided.

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I also had a family member fob me off when they had their 5ish month old forward facing.... I tried to say it nicely and in a "did you know" manner, but they got all defensive and angry at me. Not sure if they did any research later, but the seat stayed the same....

Yep I have. Even posted a hard copy of the Vic roads info to MIL. She still has not got the correct carseat so my kids are not allowed in her car! She thinks I am being unreasonable and they are 'close enough'.

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Yep I have. Even posted a hard copy of the Vic roads info to MIL. She still has not got the correct carseat so my kids are not allowed in her car! She thinks I am being unreasonable and they are 'close enough'.

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Don't blame you there :o I wouldn't let my kids in a car without correct seats either!

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I did have another friend on FB once post something about the "pinch rule" which I had never heard about before. She was passionate that everyone make sure they follow the pinch rule and posted a link so I read it and asked her more about it and she helped me make my children safer in the car. So I think posting something generic can help if you would like to do that.

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What's the pinch rule?

I see photo's all the time on Facebook of kids in car seat with horribly twisted straps or straps not on shoulders :/ I'm such a perfectionist the straps have to be perfect so much so I will redo it after DH sometimes.

You could say something like...wow I must be a bit over the top when I put my kids in their car seat cos seeing the car straps twisted really annoys me I have to fix them up...or something along those lines.

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What's the pinch rule?

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The straps should be tight enough that you can't pinch them itms

I had a friend of a friend PM me about Vic's car seat - he has a Houdini stop - they told me how bad ect it was. which is fine. but i asked them if they knew about how hard we'd tried to stop him escapeing ect. which they never did reply. so it depends. twisted straps yeah if they where a friend i'd say something or if they turned their baby forward waaaay too early then yes. but beyond that thats their choice.

We used the Houdini stop too, much prefer that to finding two of my kids on the loose while driving thank you very much! A pm is fine if you are concerned about forward facing or straps loose etc but the devices to keep the kids belts on are usually used like parents like us whose kids hate straps.

I thought the Houdini stop was ok as long as not being used to hold the child in (so in seat properly and just stopping them from taking arms out) - as opposed to the way that that dizzy hall broad uses it (child wrapped so not in seat properly and expecting the strap to stop them coming out if the seat in an accident)

Honestly I don't know if I'd say anything. I'd want to. But it would depend on the relationship we have I guess. I know efjay commented in dd and her height for her car seat ages ago - it was the angle of the photo, which made her look too talk for the seat, but it made me investigate, seeing she is rather tall, so that she remained safe. :)

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I thought the Houdini stop was ok as long as not being used to hold the child in (so in seat properly and just stopping them from taking arms out) - as opposed to the way that that dizzy hall broad uses it (child wrapped so not in seat properly and expecting the strap to stop them coming out if the seat in an accident)

Honestly I don't know if I'd say anything. I'd want to. But it would depend on the relationship we have I guess. I know efjay commented in dd and her height for her car seat ages ago - it was the angle of the photo, which made her look too talk for the seat, but it made me investigate, seeing she is rather tall, so that she remained safe. :)

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* blush * I hope I had some tact in my comment. I usually don't though lol

I just went & checked. I think I worded it ok.

Nah you were tactful. You're safe lol

I would not say anything based on one photo. For me anything worth commenting on must be continual/done more than a few times for me to be sure they are doing an unsafe activity and I wasn't just misinterpreting a one off situation. To be honest I would just be happy that they are using a carseat.

i like the idea of a generic info article. especially if that article focuses on one aspect of carseat safety (ie. RF vs FF or aftermarket accessories and correct usage etc). i know that i would find that non confrontational, but also interesting to read and refresh upon.

A friend of mine posted a pic of her son in his car seat, he was 3.5 yo and had significantly outgrown the baby seat (he's very tall for his age), he shoulders were well above the top strap hole and he was almost a full head height above the top of the top of the seat. I was quite shocked that she still had him in the baby seat as months before we had been talking about toddler seats.

I asked my belly buddies (showed theme the pic to make sure I wasn't being OTT) and we all agreed it was quite dangerous, also because I knew her and her family were going on a road trip that weekend. I posted something like "Wow, XXX sure has grown, he's looking a bit big for his car seat, I don't know how safe that would be now". Although I am sure she might have taken a little offence, she actually went and bought a toddler seat I told her was on special. It was a good outcome and I'm really glad I mentioned it.