Waxing Vs Shaving - Young Girls

Ok so up until recently I swore black and blue that when DD asked to shave I'd start taking her to get waxed. It's what all the older and wiser mums had said and done before me. I distinctly remember sneaking razors to shave my legs at 11/12 /13 because my parents wouldn't have a bar of the notion that hair removal was something I needed. So I figured waxing is better and I would do this too whenever she felt ready because I wanted to listen to her rather than her sneaking razors as I did.

This was until DH weighed in. As he does because heck it's his daughter too ;)

DH "Why can't she just shave?"
ME"Because waxing is better for her."
DH "So you'd rather put her through pain for the sake of what exactly?"
ME "Because that's what others have done, it's better for her and I'll know that she's serious then."
DH "Right so put of those who went for waxing when they were younger... How many of those now shave?"
ME "Ahhhh all of them actually."
DH "Right so basically it's some morbid torturous right of passage just because they want hairless legs... But actually doesn't mean anything because they end up shaving anyway? Ok that makes total sense."

Yanno. I thought about it and he's right. Why exactly are mothers dead set on waxing and plucking their daughters instead of letting them shave like we do? What are we teaching them besides an unhealthy association between pain and grooming as a woman?

And before everyone jumps on me with the view that shaving is somehow anti feminism and teaching poor body appreciation please don't. I can shave my legs and still fight for women's rights thanks. I believe in allowing my daughter a choice in all aspects of life. I hope I can guide her as much as possible but as it stands she actually has an awesome load of self worth and appreciation for her own body. So in that department we're all good.

So that aside if you took your daughter to have her legs/underarms waxed instead of letting her shave, why? And I realise embarrassing body hair is different and if we had that situation we would wax too.

My eldest daughter has been having her legs/underarms waxed for the past 2 years (since she was 13). She's left handed and not at all coordinated so I wasn't prepared to take the risk of her cutting her legs/underarms badly.

She understood that the waxing would hurt to start with but she also understood that razor cuts hurt more!

We did have a problem finding a beautician that would wax her so young but the lady she uses is lovely and really good with her.

Shallow reason for the girls to be shaving. $$$$. I cannot afford full waxing on a regular basis, so there is no way I could afford 3 of us.

Honestly I see no problem with shaving, the razors are so much better than what they where when I was a kid. Now that was a painful experience when one of those suckers knicked you!
As for the old argument that is toughens/thickens the hairs, well personally I think that is a load of rot. I know if I let myself get hairy and the hair has a chance to go through a full growth cycle, my legs look like they have never been shaved (hey I have fooled waxers)

I think though I will get them waxing for eyebrows and bikini line (over summer).

I dont shave, I wax and wish I had waxed when I was younger rather than start shaving then switch.
I would encourage my DDs to do what they want but go through all of the options and pros and con's of each. I don't know why some would push one way or the other, particularly if they don't use that method themselves.

This isn't answering your question, but I'll share my experience. Mum bought me a razor when I was about 11/12. I shaved legs and underarms until I was about 18. Then I had my first wax and have been waxing for over 20 years now. I have a lot of body hair normally, so it took about a decade of waxing to thin it out.

Waxing hurts. I may be used to it, but it still hurts. That's something I choose to do for myself so I can go 3-5 weeks without stubble. I also pay about $130 every 6-8 weeks for this. It's expensive and it hurts.

I have also had IPL to reduce pubic hair. I am now trying to grow back some of the bush because I've changed my mind about a bald bikini line. I have been struggling to grow back overplucked eyebrows for about 5 years.

My opinion based on my experience is, buy her a razor, show her how to use it properly and let her try waxing in her own time and when she can pay for it. Teach her not to overpluck her eyebrows. If she wants to shave everything off, it's her body, her choice. I'd just leave the waxing until later.

I've never had my legs/pits/ladybits waxed and so I've never considered that it might be "the thing to do". I've never done it because it appears to be a) painful b) time consuming (in that you have to make appts & wait, etc) and also c) expensive. I'm just not sure the benefits outweigh the costs.

On the other hand, I had reservations on letting my still-young-in-many-ways DD loose with a razor blade or chemical depilatories, so I took the middle route and offered her a battery shaver. It's fully in her control how frequent/infrequently she shaves and the injury factor is nil. She hasn't complained or asked to do any differently so I'm guessing its sufficient to her needs?

That's what we are doing MD we are giving her an electric razor. Sorry I should have clarified.

And I've asked her what she wanted to do and waxing is something she doesn't want to do nice offered epilady too. Again she would rather shave.

An electric razor never crossed my mind!

I could always sent the girls off on a waxing course, that way they can wax each other.

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I distinctly remember sneaking razors to shave my legs at 11/12 /13 because my parents wouldn't have a bar of the notion that hair removal was something I needed. So I figured waxing is better and I would do this too whenever she felt ready because I wanted to listen to her rather than her sneaking razors as I did.

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The thing with this though, is that your DD wouldn't be sneaking razors like you did. She wouldn't need to, because you do know that hair removal can be important and you're offering her ways to do it. She's choosing her own way of doing it rather than being forced into either waxing or sneaking around.

I never really had this problem, as soon as I thought I needed to start shaving my underarms my mum taught me how and that was it. I didn't start on my legs for a long time and even now I go for months without doing them (admittedly my legs are one of the few places the hair grows very slowly so I don't need to do them often.) I had my legs waxed about a month and a half ago because I wanted to help my cousin out with her beauty therapy course, but I'm not fussed about that happening again. I'll get her to do them again if I want another wax, otherwise it's back to shaving for me in a couple of months :dunno: I've never waxed anywhere other than my legs (twice), eyebrows (twice and never again), and lip (same time as my last leg wax). I think underarm waxing sounds torturous :lol: but each to their own!

I'd probably encourage Amelia to go for shaving when the time comes, but if she wants to be waxed so be it. I'm not sure I'd be happy with paying for it every however-long-it's-supposed-to-be-between-waxes, but I suppose she could always go to my cousin ;)

Last Christmas we got DD an epilator, it's also converts to a shaver so she has the best of both worlds. She prefers shaving with a razor though.

My cousin got waxed instead of shaving and her leg hair has never ended up thick and gorilla like like mine. It's soft and downy not *****ly.
On the flip side it can cause ingrowns which can cause scaring.

If she knows the pros and cons and wants to shave then I would be inclined to say her body, her choice.

My mum was a beauty therapist and did my waxing (eyebrows, bikini line, legs, underarm, upper lip) from when I was about 13. She's very anti shaving, shaved all through her early 20's and is on the shaving-causes-thick-hair camp. Now, after waxing for about 30 years, she hardly grows hair on her legs or underarms at all. No idea if a 50+ year old woman who shaved would be the same. For me, waxing didn't work. I'm very hairy, with pale skin and dark hair. I waxed until I was 17, because my mum wouldn't allow shaving. The hair would start to grow back after 2 days, and would be very noticeable after 4 days...and the hair wouldn't be long enough to wax again until 1.5 weeks. So in the summer I'd have a very small amount of time hair free. Shaving is easier for me, I can shave every day. If I shave in the morning, by the next morning it's grown enough that you can see it. I remember sneaking my first razor and not knowing what to do and cutting my legs up something awful. Honestly, I think I'll just let my girls shave. It can be their choice. If they want to wax, I can teach them to do their own waxing (I do my own eyebrows, and can do my own legs, underarms and bikini line). It's very inexpensive to do your own waxing at home. I'll probably encourage DD1 to hold off on her legs for a bit, because she's blonde and has blonde fine hair on her legs, she probably won't need toad much as DD2, who is dark haired and very hairy.

You can't deny your daughters the 'cut a chunk of skin off your ankle' right of passage surely lol. Seriously, I've never had a professional wax and only not very positive home experiences so mostly shave. I think shaving is a sensible option for starting off.

I'm with your DH. My Mum made me get my legs waxed the first time and it HURT! I never did it again. I would just tell her the pro's and con's of both and let her choose :)

Lol. This was me! I was adamant it was better for DD to wax. She done it once. Now she shaves (we only started this year) and shaves every 3 months. DD's argument is its quicker & easier lol.

Started with battery shaver, progressed to razors. Had shadow by noontime. Started waxing and epilating in my late teens and never looked back.

I may have a high pain threashold, but the only time it hurt was one drunken home wax (lesson learnt when I removed a lot of skin too!) and a full bikini wax. I wish I could afford regular waxing as it's so relaxing. Instead I epilate at home.

Shaving: thick dark hairs
Epilating: leg hair of a normal 9yo. Not my hirsuite 9yo legs.

Thanks guys.

See I'm not sold on the plucking is better thing. My hairs are not much different to DD's now. And haven't changed much since I started shaving. Yet nasty hairs I've pulled out always grow back black and thick.

I remember a gf of mine told
Me that her mother was a nurse and wore pantyhose constantly and this caused her hairs not to grow back as they rubbed off. I'm not sure on that one either!

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I remember a gf of mine told
Me that her mother was a nurse and wore pantyhose constantly and this caused her hairs not to grow back as they rubbed off. I'm not sure on that one either!

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I have no hair on the backs of my legs because my pants rub on them, so she could be telling the truth.

The parts of my legs that rubbed when I rode horses are still bald and I haven't ridden for about 10 years, but they were rubbed bald long before I even thought of shaving them.

I'm the same as Zazou - after years on a horse I simply don't grow hair on my lower, inner legs.

I shave everything but my eyebrows, which I have waxed. I hate waxing - it hurts like billyo and I wouldn't do that to my kids. Plus, as someone else mentioned its not exactly inexpensive and with three daughters there's no way I'm starting down that road. If they choose to wax when they pay for it then that's their choice. I won't be encouraging them to start shaving at any particular time - will wait until they tell me they're ready, which will no doubt be well before I'm prepared for it!

Now I am 40 I have noticed that my body hair is thinner. That is most places, regardless of whether the hair has never been touched (lower arms) and mostly shaved a lot (legs). Body hair does thin with age. Well my theory is that it does not go away, it just moves to places like the upper lip and turns into those rouge hairs that appear on chins :lol:

I waxed for about 5 years- pretty much all through high school. My mum waxed my legs the first time. It's not painless but I don't think it's that bad. A friend of mine waxed me after that and the odd beautician.

I will probably wax dd as soon as she wants too. My hairs were always a lot more sparse waxing in comparison to shaving now. For me the the regrowth period annoyed me, especially in summer. So if she's self conscious i guess she can shave. I'm not very hairy though and dd seems to be similar to me thus far (hopefully forever for her sake lol).

My girls have my colouring and complexion and I suspect will have my slow-growing leg hair and somewhat less body hair elsewhere than most women. I'll help them learn to shave. I could wait all winter for enough hair to be visible on my legs, let alone wax! I don't think we'll be having the conversation until they're teenagers.

I have had plenty of bikini waxes and even the odd Brazilian over the years, but shaving is more convenient (esp since I don't have to wait months for enough hair to wax), cheaper and less painful.

Haven't read all the replies... LOL

I would personally, wax her eyebrows, and shave her legs/underarms until she i ready/old enough/wants to wax the rest. I *loathe* plucking - even when I was taught how to do it, I think it is the most painful thing I has ever done, beauty-wise, it still hurts like a *****, I *bleed*, and it is never right. $10, a talented beautician doing her thing, they look tops. Hurts the first time, and then, like taking off a band aid. Seriously, the least traumatic thing ever. [ETA: Seriously, I don't even own a pair of tweezers, never have, this is the extent to which I do. not. pluck.]

I do wish I had have been taken to the beautician for everything below the waist when I was about 14. I have a lot of dark, coarse hair. It is horrendous really! LOL So, swimming at school was always painful for me at school, required a lot of effort and was a total PITA. Would much rather I had have been indoctrinated into womanhood with a professional. I suspect this is not a problem for your DD.

As for rites of passage, knicking yourself with a razor on the ankle or on the tendon at the back of your knee, is a pretty good one to start off with. ;)

What about using nair or something like that. No pain or chance of cutting herself?

I was actually thinking about this yesterday as dd1's arm is still majorly hairy after her broken arm and I was wondering about what to do if she became self conscious about it.

My daughter started off waxing then moved onto razors due to the convenience factor and then suffered a nasty cut. Since then she's used an electric shaver and an epilator.

My daughter is pretty good with being open about things, especially after reading the book, Puberty Girl. She actually came up to me this week and said she was starting to get black hairs under her arms and would really like a shaver. I thought that was awesome. I went out and bought her one - although she knows I wax she didn't ask about it. If she asks about waxing, I am happy to take her to try it. But its not something I wanted to do off the bat because it is ouchy!

I have plucked her eyebrows for her though. I haven't found any waxers around here and would be concerned about how decent they were so that also sways my decision. I wax when I come to Melb.

Just an aside: are epilators less painful these days? I bought one when I was about 20. Used it for 5min and promptly threw it away. I'm not great with pain.

I had one of the spring coil Epilady's when I was a teenager and it was inhumane! Apparently they are more gentle these days. DD thinks it's too painful but my boss, mum and co-worker swear by the new ones. I am still not game enough to try it though.

I've only ever shaved but dont even do that much anymore lol. My plan is to just explain the options and leave it up to them although might need some help discussing them since I have so little experience!

Actually I waxed my eyebrows for a bit so guess I could try and explain from that... it hurts then it stops then it hurts then it stops then it hurts then stops then done.

My mother used to pluck her legs with tweezers o.O

The new epilators still hurt you just get more removal for your hurt. I pluck my eyebrows because I'm scared that waxing will cause sagging. It's what I've been told over and over and I pluck those nasty hormonal hairs (thanks pcos).

I think we'll get her an electric razor as discussed and should she wish to wax we'll accommodate if and when she wants to.

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Just an aside: are epilators less painful these days? I bought one when I was about 20. Used it for 5min and promptly threw it away. I'm not great with pain.

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My Mum bought me one a few years ago cause she was using one without a problem... I used it twice, (Once was after a few drinks to see if it numbed the pain), and asked her 'if you give this to someone you love, what do you plot for people you dislike?' needless to say, she took it back and uses it herself, LOL..

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My mother used to pluck her legs with tweezers o.O

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Had a gf in high school that took to her bikini line with tweezers. Still makes my skin crawl thinking about *that*! :rofl:

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Just an aside: are epilators less painful these days? I bought one when I was about 20. Used it for 5min and promptly threw it away. I'm not great with pain.

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I have used an epilator for about 6 years - so not sure if it is classed as old or new but I find it ok, I do under my arms with it no problems - but I am not a very hairy person, and also I don't care if am hairy so underarms is infrequent in winter and maybe every two weeks in summer.

I always shaved legs prior to that but like Astrid said now have been allowed to regrow are just like they were pre-shaving very fine, the one and only time I have had them waxed (the pain doesn't bother me but the expense does) the waxer was surprised that I was a shaver.

DD I suspect will be of the lesser hair variety as I am and DH is - but it will be shaving all the way for her until she can pay for waxing - plus from what I remember of being a teenager (I started shaving legs at 13) you wanted them to be hair free all the time so shaving is easier than trying to manage waxing. Eyebrows I never touched till at University when let a friend do once, now and again I pluck the few stray ones in the middle and wouldn't be encouraging her to do anything with hers unless is really needed (I am actually amazed at how many people do, do eyebrows).

I have tried Veet/Nair but the smell I thought was horrible and my skin disliked even sensitive versions of their creams.

I have done my bikini line with a pair of tweezers (just the line e.g. the stray odd one that would show outside of a bikini in your leg crease and actually is pretty unpainful) - but again I am not that hairy. After using an epilator for so long the hair plucks out pretty well of my legs if one could be bothered to do with a pair of tweezers.

I think the rubbing off thing must be true because you see lots of men with bald patches on backs of legs - so they must have rubbed off on something.

Epilators don't hurt: I've used them for 12 years now. They can tingle a little, but it's not painful. Current one I can use in the shower and no feeling at all on my legs - underarms can be "oooh!" and I can feel the bikini epilation.

I will add that I can only epilate underarm after 6 laser treatments. Given that DH and I are very hairy people, I will encourage any DD I have to wax, epilate and laser when she's old enough. Shaving was really problematic.

I will also moustache wax the second she complains. No girl should have the best moustache in her year group in a large, mixed school. I speak from experience. Plus a girl shaving her face... see the self-esteem plummet.

I haven't heard anyone mention silky mitts or pumice stones yet - might be an option for teens with relatively soft leg hair (not so sure about pits & bits though)?

I have used silky mitts in the past - they work ok but are hard work I think.

I have very sensitive skin and thick, dark hair and I LOVE the silky Mitt for legs. Can't do 'bits and pits' though, but would definitely recommend it.