Starting school in 2015 or waiting until 2016?

My DS1 will be eligible to start school in 2015. His birthday is 23 June 2010 but the cut off is 31st July. I am very concious of him being one of the youngest kids in the class if he starts in 2015.

We had always thought that we would just wait until 2016.. however, things have changed. I'm pregnant with #3, and financially, having 3 kids in DayCare or me being a SAHM may not work (still trying to figure all that out).

I was one of the youngest kids in the class, and ended up repeating year 6 at a new school before starting Year 7 at the same school. I enjoyed being one of the eldest.

My DS1 is incredibly intelligent and advanced for his age (so I have been told by his daycare), his vocab and language is that of a 5-6 year old. Socially however I'm not sure how he would fair. It's still a while away so he may mature emotionally and socially by then. He is a sensitive little creature (one of the things I love about him). I don't want to do any damage to him by putting him in school before he's ready..

HOWEVER.. now that our family situation is changing, I will have to return to work by Jan 2015 (I will most likely taken May-Dec) as leave. I don't know what type of work I'm going to get when I do return from mat leave as I am a sole trader so won't know what my contracts will look like until I actually get one... worst case scenario is that I will have to return to a travelling role which means that my husband will need to do the day care/school drop off.

OR, because I have more earning potential than my husband, he becomes a SAHD and I return to FT work (not ideal with breastfeeding)

If DS1 goes to school, day care fees won't be too much of an issue... we could afford to have 2 in long day care/preschool. If we wait to put him in until 2016 then I won't be making enough money to put three kids in care.

What would you do???

Thanks for reading :)

If I read correctly, he would be 4.5 years when starting school in 2015? If so, then no, I'd wait til 2016. My DS will on just turned 5 starting school and I feel that he's to young lol

Hard call. I would also be rather reluctant to start him at 4.5 but the whole family situation does need to be taken into consideration. Have you looked into costs of hiring a private nanny? Or an au pair if you have room in your house (or could hire a transportable/caravan for the back yard)? Is family day care any cheaper?

Also, you should totally go overdue and have three June babes :)

What would I do? I would plan to send him in 2015 and then only change your plans if you are strongly advised by childcare/kinder etc that he is not ready. Jan 2015 is a long way off and you will probably find that he develops the social skills between now and then (I think some children are advanced with vocab etc early and then they stay still on that level but then catch up socially - almost like they have made a conscious decision to focus on one thing and then the other - my DD is a bit like this). Maybe is a gamble but that is what I personally would do - I struggle with daycare fees for two, and I would dearly love for DD to go to school next year as would she, but she misses the cut off here.

I couldn't quite work out from your post but if your DS started in 2015 meant that you will be able to take a part-time or a less demanding role - and him starting in 2016 would mean you would need to go full-time so your DH could be the SAHD as not able to afford daycare for three - then I would definitely go with the 2015 plan as I think that sounds like a better option for the whole family.

:

---

What would I do? I would plan to send him in 2015 and then only change your plans if you are strongly advised by childcare/kinder etc that he is not ready. Jan 2015 is a long way off and you will probably find that he develops the social skills between now and then (I think some children are advanced with vocab etc early and then they stay still on that level but then catch up socially - almost like they have made a conscious decision to focus on one thing and then the other - my DD is a bit like this). Maybe is a gamble but that is what I personally would do - I struggle with daycare fees for two, and I would dearly love for DD to go to school next year as would she, but she misses the cut off here.

I couldn't quite work out from your post but if your DS started in 2015 meant that you will be able to take a part-time or a less demanding role - and him starting in 2016 would mean you would need to go full-time so your DH could be the SAHD as not able to afford daycare for three - then I would definitely go with the 2015 plan as I think that sounds like a better option for the whole family.

---

Thanks for your advice. That makes total sense. Yes, you are correct... financially we would be better off if DS1 started in 2015 :) We might be in a different position by the end of 2014 which could allow DS1 to start school later (i.e.Hubs getting a higher paying job, winning lotto :rofl: etc)

:

---

Hard call. I would also be rather reluctant to start him at 4.5 but the whole family situation does need to be taken into consideration. Have you looked into costs of hiring a private nanny? Or an au pair if you have room in your house (or could hire a transportable/caravan for the back yard)? Is family day care any cheaper?

Also, you should totally go overdue and have three June babes :)

---

We do have a separate granny flat which we use as our study/bedroom for my FIL when he comes to stay... It may be financially more viable to hire a nanny/au pair and I have yet to look into that. Family day care is an option but I do want to put DS1 into pre-school anyway because of the structure and "learning".

There is a chance I could have another June baby... if bubs is 12 days late!!!

:

---

If I read correctly, he would be 4.5 years when starting school in 2015? If so, then no, I'd wait til 2016. My DS will on just turned 5 starting school and I feel that he's to young lol

---

I know! Seems soooooooo young, which is where my mama guilt is kicking in... I'm thinking surely we can work something else out financially..

Hmmm... this is a hard one. I would put him in, but be prepared to re-evaluate during the year and possibly even think about him repeating his first year. I would be upfront with your kinder and school that you aren't sure if he is ready, and take their input on board.

Sorry, just wanted to add that I would only send him at 4.5 if you had exhausted all other budgeting/money saving measures. Just for one year you could eat vegetarian, make a pact not to get takeaway etc, all the normal saving money stuff.

DS2 is jan 2010 and we decided to not send him to kinder next year and to wait until 2015 for kinder and 2016 for starting school as I felt Just turning 4 a couple of weeks before kinder starts would make him way to young and same with starting school at just turned 5. Seems much better idea to start him at 5 for kinder and 6 for prep! As he could be more than a year younger that some older kids in class.

It is a hard and stressful choice but I am now happy with my choice. Also means there is a year between then at school as DS1 starts 2014 at 5 and 1/2 years of age.

DD was born April 2010, and for now we are planning that she goes to 4 year old kinder next year and start school in 2015. She has been at 3 year old kinder this year and loves it, and the teacher's think she is ready for 4 year old kinder next year. We will see how she goes next year and then decide for the following year.

DD was born 2 April 2009 and cut off here is 30 April. She has been at 4 yo kinder this year and is ready to start school next year. She will be 4 years 10 months when she starts and is likely to be one of the youngest if not the youngest. But she is ready. I have had a lot of discussions with various teachers that have met/observed her and all have said the same. Every child is different and you will know what is best for your child.

For what it is worth my DDs social skills went through a massive development around 3.5 years old.

Janie

We do school starts differently way out west and I'm not sure actually what year you are referring to when you say "start school". FWIW, DDs 1 and 2 are both May babies and so are amongst the youngest in their classes - pre-primary is compulsory for the year your child will be 5 by 30 June. DD3 will be even closer to being the youngest in her class when she starts. DDs 1 and 2 started kindy 4 full days per week when they were just under 3 years and 9 months, pre-primary for 5 full days per week at 4 years and 9 months and DD1 now in grade 1 at 5 years 9 months. Not sure how those years compare to eastern states school years, but for instance DD2 in pre primary is reading, writing, spelling etc. I haven't had a moment of thinking that either of them were too young, and both are well ahead of where they should be academically. Socially, DD1 has always been incredibly confident but DD2 has not been and I was worried how she could cope on a social level, but more because of who she is than her age ITMS. Both have blossomed and have good friendships. There are kids who are struggling still after almost 3/4s of a year, but age seems to have little bearing on that - one of the kids who is most unsettled still is actually one of the oldest.

Such a huge amount can change over the course of the next 18 or so months. If it were me I would be enrolling him ready for 2015, start prepping him for going, and just play it by ear with his behaviour. If you still have massive doubts when the time comes you can either start him off but be prepared to pull him out if its not working, or just elect to delay until 2016.

My DS1 is a July baby and the NSW cutoff is the end of July as well. My son is very social and interested "big school" but we will wait a year. It's not the classroom stuff that worries me, it's the playground, the toilets, all those unsupervised moments where other kids can take advantage of him. It's also the 5 days a week, all day exhaustion of school as well.

My SiL started her twins at 4.5 for the same reason (finances/daycare) and she regrets it. She can really see the difference between them and her first daughter who was 5.3 when she started. She has raised the issue of repeating but the girls are horrified at the idea of leaving their friends and the school doesn't think they are behind enough to warrant it either, even though it is obvious they struggle a bit.

the vic cutoff is 30th april.

:

---

the vic cutoff is 30th april.

---

This is a more sensible cutoff than NSW I think!

SA is also around 30 April from next year when we start single intake instead of term intakes (although I think it might be 7 May- not entirely sure on that). I still don't know why that date and not 30 June which makes more sense to me (even though ds1 would still miss out on starting next year if that was the date given he's 6 July).

The April 30 cut off makes no logical sense to me and I am from Vic. There is talk if it bring changed to the end of the year but who knows if it will change. It gets confusing with child care and child care based kinder as they often go by age rather than the April 30 cut off. Ds is now in a 3yo kinder room even though he won't start kinder until next year and a friends child is in the 4yo kinder room but he won't start until next year and the friends he makes now will go to school before him which seems silly.

We went through this dilemma recently too. We are in SA (cut off April 30). DS's birthday is 23rd April so he will be 4yrs9m when he starts.

We changed our mind a million times, but in the end decided to start him in 2014 instead of 2015. He is ready now quite frankly. He used to be quite shy, is now very outgoing and loves the the schoolroom type environment in the childcare kindy room - can spell and write heaps of basic words already, knows his full alphabet, left, right, and his vocabulary at 4.5 is very developed. He only goes to CC twice a week but we consulted with his care givers on their thoughts (one is a Junior Primary Teacher) and they thought he was ready too. We have chosen a private school so the classes are smaller etc and are really comfortable with him starting in 2014. I'm sure I'll think he's too little on his first day though!

Every kid is different - I think you need to make a judgement call on your kid, rather than a generalised opinion, my first thoughts were wait a year - I've now realised that holding DS back would actually be to his detriment, he is ready.

I would wait. I waited with my DD, whose birthday is in mid April. She *could* have started school lest year, but DH and I waited. She was meeting all of the prerequisites for starting school last year, but I just felt it was too young for her to go. I wanted to let her have a childhood for longer. Let her be a baby for a little longer.
I also had practical reasons- I want her to excel in school. Whilst she is highly intellegent and very suited to a school environment, I wanted to give her the best opportunity to be the best that I could, which was giving her an extra year to mature, grow and learn. I didn't want her to be one of the younger ones in the year. I wanted her to be older than her peers and I want her to be (hopefully) more responsible and reasonable when she is in high school. One year isn't that long in your life, but could make all of the difference in your child's schooling. There are not many financial gains that are more important than that, I don't think.
If you have concerns for his social maturity, then I would definitely wait. Social maturity is one of the more important parts of going to school. As well as the fact that you will be going back to work, he will be going to school. So you likely won't be seeing him much at all, which will be really tough to go from seeing you 24/7, to school and you working. IMO, I would wait, have your DH do the at home thing for a year, and then he can go to school as a more mature child, used to you working. Then your DH could go to work part time or full time, depending on your family needs.

my kinder has council run 4 year old program, and privately run 3 year old program and works off the April 30 date. Is your kinder a nation wide one? if it is Victorian, or local, then they don't have any reason to not use the same cut off as the schools. it's been that cutoff for years now.

Are you sure about the cut off? I thought we were moving towards a nationally consistent school starting age? Why would NSW cutoff be different to other states in 2015?

:

---

Are you sure about the cut off? I thought we were moving towards a nationally consistent school starting age? Why would NSW cutoff be different to other states in 2015?

---

I have heard this said many times but so far have seen nothing which states any changes apart from in SA moving to one intake. Only Vic and Act have 30 April, NSW has 31 July, others have 30 Jun, TAS has 1st Jan (most sensible in my mind as ties in with school year and means there isn't a proportion of year which gets a choice and proportion that doesn't). I would think any changes to dates would need to be announced fairly far in advance, so assume dates would hold true for 2015.

HotI - assume you are referring to black_rose comment about confusion in daycare kinder with dates? Daycare don't have to go by dates as kids there anyway just in different rooms. E.g DD has been in 3 year old kinder room since Sep 2012, although not eligible for 3 year old till jan this year. Also is in 4 year old for a proportion of the day. Is a benefit of in childcare kinder program if you ask me, along with fact she will know some kids in year above her at school. Whatever dates are childcare centres will always use with flexibility I would think.

BBC News - Formal school lessons should start 'above age of five'

:

---

BBC News - Formal school lessons should start 'above age of five'

---

:-) I just commented on this article on facebook

I think this is the crucial bit in the article "These extra few years, in my view, provide a crucial opportunity, when supported by well-trained, well-paid and highly educated staff, for children to be children." - all the headlines and much of the reporting on this is all about starting "school" later when really it is about the structure of "school" - this campaign is actually about the formalization of early childhood learning - that is being pushed in the UK at the moment.

Finland is always quoted - but changing the starting "school" age is not going to make anywhere like Finland - "Finland has had access to free universal daycare for children age eight months to five years in place since 1990, and a year of "preschool/kindergarten" at age six, since 1996. "Daycare" includes both full-day childcare centers and municipal playgrounds with adult supervision where parents can accompany the child. The municipality will also pay mothers to stay home and provide "home daycare" for the first three years, if she desires, with occasional visits from a careworker to see that the environment is appropriate".

My view is if 'school' is not right either here in Aus or UK, then 'school' should be changed not the entry age (unless they are going to provide everything Finland does) - or as like the article states it simply favors those who are able to afford to stay home, or pay for childcare for longer.

You might be right wysiwyg, but in the mean time, if the system is not going to change, then I am prepared to adjust to fit the current system, ITMS.

:

---

You might be right wysiwyg, but in the mean time, if the system is not going to change, then I am prepared to adjust to fit the current system, ITMS.

---

The thing to also remember is that the article is about the UK, where as long as you are 4 by September you start that September - so it is a younger starting age than here and from my understanding (my parents are still in UK and my mum was a nursery teacher over there) it is also already a more formal school system than here - so really I am not sure the article applies to the original post.

Back to the original question - I still think that each relationship between a family, a child, and a school is different and it really only with an understanding of those three components can you make a decision, and that really you can only make that decision when the child is nearer to school age (basically at last possible moment). There shouldn't be any 'mama guilt' associated with it, it isn't wrong to send your child if you and other professionals think they are ready whatever their age. As another poster said, for some children it could be considered detrimental to wait. Sometimes you have to look at the pro's and con's over a much wider period than just that first year (and if you have multiple children you have to factor that in too) - depending on careers a year not working or an additional year not working can have a big impact on future - and thinking about your careers and financial future as a family is not something that should be dismissed - it is an important part of being a parent too.

Would I send a 4.5 year old boy to school? No, personally I wouldn't.

My DD2 is 4.5yrs....there is no way she's ready for school, she's not even going next year, she's not ready emotionally. She's starting prep in 2015

:

---

Would I send a 4.5 year old boy to school? No, personally I wouldn't.

---

I used to feel the same Ginger, but looking at my own DS (who is currently 4.5), he is much more mature than boys his age and loves the structure of an organised day, and I guess 'against the norm' that boys of that age need to expel their energy rather than sitting and being expected to conform to a classroom environment, my DS is perfectly suited to this personality wise. He also loves to do the normal boy things that require a bit of sillyness and physical activity but I have no doubt that the school we have chosen for him is perfectly suited to his needs. Anyway, my point is that I think generalising that a 4yo boy is not school ready is too much of a sweeping generalisation.

However having said that one of my work colleagues wives is a junior primary teacher - her observation is in line with popular though that boys take longer to adjust to school than girls, so there definitely is merit in waiting if its appropriate for your boy. She does however also observe that boys coming from the childcare environment into school, rather than the home environment into school, actually transition much better and pretty much hit the ground running as already feel comfortable in a similar environment - just another interesting point to consider BR if your son already attends childcare

This is an old article but I thought was quite good http://www.theage.com.au/articles/20...569786596.html

One bit that stood out in relation to the above

"However, she says it's ``too simple'' to say that a younger child will not cope as well as an older one, or that it's better for boys to wait a year, adding: ``If we expect boys to be behind, we tend to treat them that way and that is how they turn out.''

Interesting article wysiwyg. I was pleased to read the part about social readiness and the ability to make friends easily - this is DS, all the feedback we have from CC is that he plays with everyone, all the kids like him because he is kind, and gets along with everyone (adults included) really well - great social skills that will make all the difference in the school environment.

We've talked about when to start our kids before in our belly buddies group and I'm sure you know that a year ago I had no intention of starting DS before he was five. I would never have anticipated the huge development he has gone through this year. Amazing that we've done a total back flip on our thinking.....

I had to decide this recently (being SA it was to start her term 3 so only 3 terms before heading up to year 1 or to start her term 3 where she will get 6 terms before going up to year 1) now it's changing to one intake a year though as of next year.

I decided to hold her back and it was def the best decision for her. She is currently 5 1/2 and still struggled to settle in. She has taken almost a term to really settle.

Each child is different though if its only because of finance you want to send him that to me says he could need to wait but it is a really hard decision.

My DS was one of the youngest. I copped a lot of flack. But I'm glad he went. He is probably now one of the more mature boys, has no problems socialising and is not suffering academically. He is also the second child. So I think every child is different. However I think the cost of keeping a child back, or the inconvenience of doing so should never ever be a reason to send a child to school. School readiness is so important. And the individual needs of each child.

:

---

However I think the cost of keeping a child back, or the inconvenience of doing so should never ever be a reason to send a child to school. School readiness is so important. And the individual needs of each child.

---

I would rephrase this slightly and say that "the cost of keeping a child back, or the inconvenience of doing so shouldn't be a reason to send a child to school if they are not school ready"

For example - if I was told and felt that my child was 70% school ready but an year at home wouldn't do any harm and I had the capability to stay at home - I would. (An interesting point in the above article I thought was it also depends on what the child is going to be doing in that extra year). If I was told the same but staying at home was going to be very difficult financially and might have implications career wise for several years - I would send the child to school.

If I felt the child was no where near ready and others had indicated the same, then I wouldn't send them and would have to work out the financial implications.

I wouldn't ever base a decision on age - really age only comes into it because there are arbitrary ages set by which they are allowed to be or must be enrolled in school (to me the fact they are different in different states is a good indication of just how arbitrary they are). Generalizing that all 4.5 year olds are unlikely to be ready is just as bad as saying that all 4.5 year olds are likely to be ready.

Eloquence is not my strong point when I first wake up :P but yes exactly that.

I wouldn't though put a child in school over my career. I just couldn't. I guess for me I've seen that happen. And children are rarely kept down these days (once they are in the system) with a fight unless there is extreme social concerns so I have seen children struggle academically/socially/emotionally who should have stayed home. And the social problems only arise in the second half of primary school and is directly related to confidence academically. And by then even choosing to keep them down at that point has social ramifications. Emotional maturity as well as social maturity are so important to me because for a large part of primary school these kids can coast until thy reach the second half of primary and then their confidence starts to break. And this impacts hugely in secondary school. And then you have the concerns of how well a child can handle the stress of exams and study in the final years. I have high school teacher friends who often comment on the emotional maturity being extremely obvious in the last 2 years and how that impacts greatly on how well they do. So for me even though I have a younger child I wouldn't hesitate in holding them back if it were necessary because it would feel to me like a short term solution with long term effects.

I really don't think a 4.5 year old boy should start school. Regardless of intelligence, social ability etc, boys are not biologically ready to sit still at that age. Girls develop younger and may be ready at 4.5 but for a boy I think he would be set up to fail starting school that young.

Have a look at Steve Biddulph's "Raising Boys" for some more insight.

:

---

Eloquence is not my strong point when I first wake up :P but yes exactly that.

I wouldn't though put a child in school over my career. I just couldn't. I guess for me I've seen that happen. And children are rarely kept down these days (once they are in the system) with a fight unless there is extreme social concerns so I have seen children struggle academically/socially/emotionally who should have stayed home. And the social problems only arise in the second half of primary school and is directly related to confidence academically. And by then even choosing to keep them down at that point has social ramifications. Emotional maturity as well as social maturity are so important to me because for a large part of primary school these kids can coast until thy reach the second half of primary and then their confidence starts to break. And this impacts hugely in secondary school. And then you have the concerns of how well a child can handle the stress of exams and study in the final years. I have high school teacher friends who often comment on the emotional maturity being extremely obvious in the last 2 years and how that impacts greatly on how well they do. So for me even though I have a younger child I wouldn't hesitate in holding them back if it were necessary because it would feel to me like a short term solution with long term effects.

---

Really it is one of the reasons why more should be done to reign in childcare costs - for most people with 2 or more children childcare costs are the biggest expense after their mortgage sometimes equaling it - and no amount of going vegetarian or penny pinching is going to come up with the money needed to pay for childcare (especially as it is likely to continue to rise as it always has and no change in the rebate). Alongside that doing more for part-time and flexible working.

Although I personally would just go with the 5 by 1st of Jan you can go system and remove any element of choice from the equation therefore keeping the overall gap between the oldest and youngest smaller in a year group - which if age is such a big deal I think is not a great thing. I think that is quite a fair system - and the basis of the Finnish system which everyone rates, is about it being equitable and accessible for all regardless of economic status.

The Raising Boys book I have read, and while some bits are interesting I think it makes a lot of generalizations, and those who love it are those who see those things in their own boys but not everything holds true for all - which is why you can only make the decision based on knowing the child, the family & the school. (Not all of school is about sitting still). At the moment both of my two fall into the 'no choice' camp but we may not always live in VIC, and if we lived in NSW both could go to school a year earlier if we chose, if we went back to the UK for a bit both DD would be a school now and DS would start a year and a bit earlier too - so I have thought a fair bit about what we would do. DD I know would be fine with the UK system and would be fine to start next year if allowed. DS is too early to tell but if I thought was ready I would have zero qualms (well in UK you don't get a choice) even if he was one of the youngest. I don't believe emotional maturity is set by your age or when you start school or that it is a linear progression throughout your school career. As far as I know there are no studies which show that younger children do worse in exams? I know there is some slight correlation between doing well in sports and being oldest in the year due to physical characteristics of being older but that is very minor.

I agree. More options need to be available to those that need it. And I have read raising boys. I bought a copy 8 years ago when I was pregnant. And like anything to do with raising children irrespective of gender I do not believe that one size fits all.

I think that your ds could get everything he needs from a 4 year old kinder program. You don't need to send him to school as a 4 year old. My 4 year old ds is starting 4 year old kinder next year and will be doing a structured program with art and PE, 3 days a week 9-3. I think you need to also consider that he will be the youngest in high school, and how this will affect him at the other end of his schooling.