Do your children have toy weapons?

I have resisted buying my children any kind of weapons as toys- water guns/swords/guns/knives/sling shots etc. DS1(5) had his birthday in August and received 2 small nerf guns, and a lego set which fires little missile thingos. I reluctantly let him have them, since they were gifts, and set the rules that he does not shoot them at people, or they will be confiscated and even thrown out/donated. He has been really good with those rules and played with them in a way which isn't too violent (*played with guns in a non violent manner*??!!).

DS2 (3 in January) received a gift from my mum of a Jake and the Neverland Pirates set (he love it!) which contained a sword and hook hand. He loves them, and again, I let him have them because he adores Jake and Captain Hook. Again I set the "don't hurt people with them" rule. He *can* play really creatively with them. But he also can get violent with them, especially with DS1, who he seems to see as a target, and often whacks him with the sword and hooks him with the hook. I take them away as soon as I see him do anything remotely hurtful with them, and many a tanty has ensued because he was 'just being Jake/Hook'.

DH recently went away and brought some more, bigger Nerf guns. He has respected my wishes not to have them in the house up until now. He has been dying to get some to play with, with the boys, being a big kid himself, but until we got the gifted ones, he has not done so because I didn't want them in the house. He also wants to buy some big water guns or super soaker type things, which I have also resisted buying.

Am I being a spoil sport with my aversion to these types of toys? Are they just toys? Am I stopping my kids from having hours of fun for the fact that they have the word 'gun' attached to them. Really, no one will get seriously hurt. But it's the fact that they are playing 'killing' which makes me so hesitant....Should I just let DH buy some big water guns and nerf gun and let him have his fun with the kids???

We have water squirters rather then guns.. My eldest DD said guns kill people and we can't have them, so started saying squirters as that's what they do.

Im not a fan of those sort of toys and don't buy them, like you, they have always been gifts

Nerf is great fun! We crack it out and have a round every now and then and it is awesome!

You will never get a definitive answer for your question. It is one of those things that you have to make up your own mind about. Our kids know the differences between toys and real. They know when we are out with the real guns that there is a massive amount of respect and safety involved so no one gets hurt, while they know that nerf is a toy and shooting them is a game and won't hurt anyone.

My DS makes guns out of his toast so I think it is a bit pointless to ban them. Kids have been playing with toy weapons forever and most turn out fine. I would think that removing the toy if they are hurting people and talking to them about their actions, they will learn that violence is not okay. JMO. My DH is hanging out to get some nerf guns too. And I reckon he'll be first in line to take the kids to laser tag or skirmish when they are older. I must admit that I avoided buying these things myself but I haven't stopped them from playing with gifts or friend's toys. I think my kids are pretty good at distinguishing pretend play from reality. DS has even said to me "It's just pretend mum" with the eyeroll and all lol.

Light-sabres, ninja swords, water pistols and I make a mean origami shuriken.

Definitely no toy guns here! DH is just as adamant as I am on this one :) DS has a pirate sword In his dress up box, but isn't that interested....the only times he's used it is to play Sleeping Beauty and 'chop the trees down'! He did pretend play that he was a hunter looking for a knife a few weeks ago. I told him knives were sharp and he replied, 'Well, how else will I butter my bread?' Lol! He knows what guns are thanks to the Bambi movie, but has never expressed an interest in them.

I have two girls so we haven't had that issue here yet!

DH has a Nerf gun and we've had lots of laughs with friends who also had Nerf guns. All adults though.

I grew up with three boys and super soakers were our favourite summer thing. In all honesty, I don't think any of us considered it was actually a gun and just had fun running around trying not to get a squirt of icy cold water down our backs!

I have no problems with nerf guns or supersoakers.
I would rather my ds be out the back running around with these than playing angry birds on an iPhone any day.

No toy guns here --- and no weapons under a certain age. DD1 was about 7 or 8 when she got a soft rubber dagger to complete her pirate ensemble and we have had a variety of swords and things in the dress up box since then, which are mostly used in a stylised fashion against imaginary adversaries, and not to beat each other up.

Similarly, we have worked quite hard to avoid electronic/virtual toys that include weapons or depictions of violence, and only introduced them much later (DD1, not DD2 who is still 6) and again, in a stylised or fantasy setting.

We also recently acquired a set of nerf thingos - and we avoid calling them "guns" because they're not. They are soft projectiles made for running around the backyard having fun, not for enacting weapon-play, and we supervise to make sure it doesn't turn into pretend gun-shooting. Yep, hardarse.

Even though we are an all girl household. I don't have a problem with them. I do however use the situation as an educational tool, like why they are dangerous, why they are used in real life, why we aren't allowed to touch real ones and what to do if you find a real one.
I think its really important to teach the kids the difference between real and fake and that its ok to have fun with the toys, but real life is completely different. And to be honest I think it only encourages their curiosity and imagination if it is banned or not allowed by parents and that can be more dangerous (just my opinion really. with the girls if I demystify the subject, then they usually lose interest.)
I don't buy them either, but thats because i have never been asked too, we have owned water squirters though.

Its really an each to your own situation and you have to do what is right for you and your family.

I have no issue with them, but then DH and I are not the best examples. We can't say "Oh, you can't play with a sword" when DH dresses up in armour and hits other people (in armour) for fun, whilst archers one the side line shoot at him ;)

We can differentiate between "play" and intent. Playing, where everyone is happy and having fun being pirates, is not a problem. The moment hitting out of aggression or not getting own way that is what I get concerned about and intervene. Same with nasty threats of violence. They can cause more damage with a well aimed Barbie than with a soft sword.

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I have no problems with nerf guns or supersoakers.
I would rather my ds be out the back running around with these than playing angry birds on an iPhone any day.

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I'm the same. And my DH has the biggest nerf collection out lol so can't really say no

No we don't. At all. And my friends and family respect my wishes on this.
However, we have real guns here from time to time. My kids know about them and that they aren't toys for touching (yes they are secure and looked after, they are for work purposes), therefore we don't want them confused.
DS is really good when it comes to them and has never really been interested, but he is now at an age where there are other little boys he interacts with often (school) and they are just they types of games they play, so so does he. Turns anything into a gun.
Therefore, we now have rules just like you do. In fact they are the ones we learnt when we were training (minus the most obvious).

We do not have any toy guns, DS1 got given a gun thing that shoots velcro ball things to a target and he played with it once (opened it without our knowledge and set up and played) we then when he lost interest packed it up and away and he forgot about it.

My kids do have blow up swords and a soft captain feathersword sword. They know its part of a costume and not to hurt people with. They have hurt more with a fairy wand flicking it around to do magic than the sword.

I have always been anti gun. The boys all got some sort of gun in their showbags which lasted a week anyway. I am thinking of relenting and getting super soakers this year. They have nothing to do outside when it is hot, and my DH isn't that keen on slip and slides.

I just bought dd pink nerf guns for her birthday. My kids have had water pistols, spud guns, cap guns, swords. You name it. They've even shot real guns.

I don't think you're being a spoil-sport. Weapons IRL are used to cause harm and assert power. As a feminist mother of two boys, I am determined that we won't have weapons as toys in our home, even if they are gifts.

That said, a kinder teacher friend of mine tells me that all 4yos play "fighting" games and will make a gun out of a stick if they don't have a toy one. I'm ok with the natural make-believe play, but I won't offer a toy gun to them to facilitate it. And if they make pretend ones from sticks/toast/toothbrushes, we'll talk about why we don't like weapons.

Rough-housing and "baddies/goodies" play is normal, but war-games are influenced by society. I won't accept that war-games with weapons are ok, because I personally think this feeds into the general social norms of men using aggression and violence to solve problems and start wars.

I think water guns are different, with the mutual play of everyone getting wet. They might still need limits and boundaries, but would it be different if they were spraying with a hose or a water balloon? Anyway, just my thoughts.

When I had kids, my attitude was much the same as yours - no guns, no weapons. When DS was about three, he would pick up a stick and use it as a 'gun'. He would use a piece of conduit as a sword. A rubber band as a sling shot... It really didn't matter that we didn't buy and weapons, he made his own. He never hurt anyone and we talked a lot about why guns were dangerous and why we wouldn't slash someone with a samurai sword! We now have a collection of Nerf guns and have regular family battles. Great fun for all!

Guns don't kill people - people kill people, sometimes they use guns to do it. There is a big difference between aiming a foam disc at someone and picking up a real gun and shooting a person. My kids understand the difference. I reckon it's kind of like never letting your kids eat lollies - they go to a party and make themselves ill! 'Guns' are not taboo in our house so there isn't a great fascination for them.

I think you have to do whatever feels right for you, but know that most kids will make their own 'guns' out of everyday items if that's what they're into!

Thanks for the perspectives everyone! You all have some interesting points. I have skimmed everyone's responses, but will have to read through properly at a different time though, but thanks!

I have 2 girls and they have light sabres made from pool noodles and they do Jedi "fighting" complete with "zwooom" noises. They hit sabres but not each other - they know that's not allowed. They aren't interested in guns but do have water squirters that come out in summer which I don't have a problem with. I think if it's part of imaginative or active play then I don't have as much of a problem with it as I would if it was "aggressive" type play that has the intent as a PP referred to.

I am anti gun and DH has respected that despite disagreeing with it, ds1 was given a light saber for his birthday and the other day he was playing with it and said 'ds2 I'm going to kill you' :o I got down on his level and explained as best I could why we don't say that!

I hate guns too but it's how kids play it's not violence it's imaginative play we never have toy guns or swords but they use the fingers or sticks this includes my girls. The last year we got NErf guns and they just think it's hilarious to get mum but we talk about how real guns would be dangerous. We also got water squirters and soakers last time we went camping and we talked about when using them it had to be ok with the the people you play with to get wet never to run up and just 'shoot' someone.

I always said no, but dp made me feel silly and came home with a plastic sword. Until. Dd whacked her little brother with it when she was 5. I chastised her saying "you could have really hurt him" and she looked at me like I was crazy and said "yes, that's what they're for". Vindicated i felt, in to the bin it went, I couldn't have made the point better if I'd tried :D

My kids have nerf guns, water guns etc and they love them. Water pistols are awesome fun on hot days.

I do not like toy guns/knifes that are made to look real. I watched my then 5 year old nephew play with a toy pistol and it unnerved me because it looked real and he was actually going around trying to shot people. My girls ignored him. They even picked up his toy riffle and asked me why the sweeper was broken :)

We have rifles. DH and I both have our firearms license. All of them are in stored securely. The girls have never actually even seen them though as we will not get them out in front of them. They are to young.

I don't have any issue with Nerf of supersoakers though and don't see them as weapons. If these were given as gifts then fine with me. If someone was to give any one of my kids a toy weapon though I would have no issue telling them that we wont be keeping it and giving them the option of taking it back.