night routine for 18 month old

hi all. I'm just after what everone else does...

Basically every night it still takes me an hour to put Spock to sleep. and she still wakes up on average every 3 hours over night. a good night we get 4 hours. but it is more common got get 2 hours. I just want to hear what other people's routines were for their 18 month olds/when their bubs were 18 months. mainly so i can hear that what we are doing is "normal" and I'm "not alone" etc.. and maybe get some ideas for other ways to do things. Because I feel what we are doing, isn't working for any of us...
thanks girls.

What is your routine at the moment?

For our dd who is same age as yours, we give her a bath, she gets rubbed down with her moisturising cream, put in her pjs, goes into her sleeping bag (which we have to do a "pwess pwess" routine with the buttons, then she says goodnight to mummy, has a story/idea with Daddy and gets out down and left in her cot.

It's only the last month or so that this has become routine. Before that she would have milk (me) and it would take ages for her to go to sleep. I use to lay next to her on another bed, but it could take hours. By eliminating me being there she goes to sleep in about 10 min.

How does she sleep during the day?

Double

when he leaves her in the cot, does she cry? scream? grizzle? does he stay in the room or leave the room? how long did it take to get her to that point?


she has one nap a day, has done one nap since before she was a year old. if she has that nap in bed, its for 40 mins. if it is in the car, it is anywhere between 1 1/2 hrs to 2 hours. if she has the nap on me, its 2 hours to 3 hours.


thing is we have tried a number of different things. but nothing seems to actually make a difference... she no longer feeds to sleep. but does have milk and then pulls off herself when she is finished. occassionally...like once a fortnight? she refuses the milk completely. but once again doesnt make any difference to the hour getting her to sleep or the wake ups...

No she doesn't cry or grizzle. I was never a fan of cc, I couldn't do it. Occasionally is he is overtired she will grizzle, but we go straight in, offer her some water, give her a kiss lay her back down in her cot and leave. Normally she will go to sleep.

For some reason as soon as DH started to do night times she didn't need me be there with her and she would sleep a lot quicker. It was like, mum is gone, I've said "night" to her, that's it. For the first few times only DH would go into her too if she grizzled.

Before dd weaned herself I found that sometimes the night feed would stress her more. Like she went from feeding to sleep, to feeding to crazy!

She also seems to respond well to is explaining the night routine, she actually gets excited for the stages now.

Dd also can self settle to sleep durin the day now, but that took longer for me and I eased it in by rocking her to sleep in the stroller to some music and doing the transfer, then we progressed to going straight into the cot.

It's all a guessing game :hug:

I'm pretty sure at 18 months DD was in a cot in her own room. We would have dinner pretty much as soon as I got home from work, she'd have a bath (Daddy does that bit) then into pjs and Mummy and Daddy's room for a feed with me. That could take anywhere from 30-90 minutes, so thankfully I could sit there and watch tv! Then I'd go put her in her cot, and then I can't remember how often she woke - not much or she'd still have been in our room. I think she'd maybe started sleeping through, with a couple of wake ups a few times a week? I honestly can't remember.

Anyway, when I got pregnant we moved her into her big girl room. For a while the routine stayed the same, the only change was where I put her down. Then one night instead of taking me into our room after Iggle Piggle (that's now part of the routine, after shower/bath) she took me to hers. She didn't want a feed, just had a little chat, rolled over, pulled my arm around herself and fell asleep. Then I cried lol. After that there was a bit of a transition, she didn't want milk anymore but was adjusting to a different way of sleeping.

Now, all the lead up is the same. Then she goes with Daddy to brush her teeth and they read stories. The first two she can see, and he speaks loudly and she's involved - I can hear them giggling from the lounge room lol. Then she rolls over, cuddles the teddy of the day and closes her eyes to listen to him read quietly to her until she's asleep. Doesn't take very long.

It took a while to get to this point and it's all been led by her, at no stage would we have been able to put her down and leave, she just doesn't like it. She also sleeps through regularly now, through nothing we've done. If she does wake it's very easy and quick to get her back to sleep, she just wants a bit of reassurance and to know we're there. A quick cuddle does it.

Ok, so this is a little hazy, but I'll do my best...

At 18 months DS did dinner, bath, stories on the lounge while having a little cup of milk (he weaned about 14 months), teeth cleaning, cuddles on the lounge with Mummy, then he'd lead Daddy to bed in his cot in his room. They'd have a cuddle/rock for a couple of minutes then DH would put him in his cot with dummy and blanky and turn on his 'night music' (the lullabies on his monitor). DH would stay for a minute or so, maybe pat the mattress near his head and say 'shhh' but sometimes DS would point to the door and tell Daddy to leave! He'd be asleep within 10 minutes, no grizzles or anything. Often he'd chat for. Few minutes first. He'd wake maybe once in the night but would go back to sleep with a quick cuddle or pat, but usually slept right through. (Before you want to throw things at me, he wakes 2-3 times a night nowadays so we've had our revenge!)

As Little O said, bedtimes were much easier when DH did them! I put it down to Daddy could snuggle him better and he loved that special time after not seeing him all day...he's very much a Daddy's boy :)

That routine was consistent from a few months old and is still pretty much how we still do it these days (except for bath before dinner now).

We have dinner (5.30 or 6.30 depending on DHs shift), two kids have bath (or big bath with dad) and then put pjs on. on a good night, they will jump on couch with me and read some books and then snuggle in and fall asleep. DS often has a drink of water from a water bottle. on a good night, they are asleep by 8. I then carry them down to bed and tuck them in. They share a room. DS usually wanders into our room between 12 and 4am, although for a while he was sleeping all night every second night. DS has rarely had a day sleep since 12 months.

On a bad night, it will take me til 10 or later to get them to calm down and sit down me (or dh if he is home) and not do circle work or psych each other up.

Both mine at 18months have fed to sleep. DD1 actually fed to sleep till she weaned at 3yrs 3mo, it didn't stop her from learning to sleep through the night which she did from 2yrs 9mo and once she weaned she transitioned to just falling asleep after books with no issue. Both were in my/our bed at 18months, DD1 moved out of our room when she began sleeping through and plan to do the same with DD2. They both woke regularly overnight, I make it my business not to know how often or how long in between but regularly. DD2 is 2 in January and still wakes a few times a night.

Night routine has always been dinner, wash, books and then boob till sleep. Asleep between 5-8pm depending if she has a day nap and when/how long it was.

I won't say it was/is easy but I will say it has been worth it to go with their flow. Neither fight sleep and DD1 who is now almost 5 is a brilliant little sleeper, will take herself to the toilet and fall straight back asleep and everything.

Both mine would have stories in bed, then a breastfeed lying down then be asleep quickly. At that age they would have a lunchtime nap for 1.5-2 hours, never asleep after 3pm and bed by 7ish. (Although dd used to push this to about 8:30 as she got older and before she stopped napping).

Do you lie in bed and feed her? What time is she going to bed?

=(
So basically this is not "normal"
We made an effort to keep her night routine consistent forever. If we try something new we do it for a good week at least ...
Most recent change has been moving her into her own room. But it hasn't made any difference. ..
But we do the same as everyone else does. We have dinner about 530/6. Then she has bath/shower. Then a nudie run ;) then in pjs. And then we read on the couch or she plays a quiet game on the floor or couch with us. Then when she tells me its bed time we take her to bed. This is normally about 7ish/730. (We have tried earlier before she tells me. Wr have tried later by keeping her on the couch as long as possible). Then we go to her room (been over a month now) and daddy ssys good night and she ha ger nigh nighs milk which she pulls off herself when she is done. I sing to her (same set of songs her whole life) and when shes done I give her a cuddle and kiss tell her I love hrr and nigh nighs and lay her on her bed (its a single bed but legs taken off so it's only the height on the mattress). Oh teddy is involved. ..she does everything I do to her to her teddy itms.
Now this is where she wont stay still! She rolls and arxhes and stands on her head and kicks and throws hererlf around and cries. I make sure she stays on the bed. But ive tried everything! Except leave the room. Ive tried laying in bed with her (this does make it worse most of the time) ive tried sitting on the edge of the bed, sitting on the other side of the room. Ive tried the no talking or eye contact. Ive tried shhhing. Ive tried more singing ive tried patting and rubbing and drawing on her back. Ive even tried bf her more. But every night it's over an hr (very unpleasant hour) until she just stops fighting. And is then snoring.
If dh comes in to help it just seems to make it worse and we have to start again. And if I leave the room (with dh in there with her) all hell breaks loose.

I want someone in the room until she falls asleep. .at least for now. Esp if she is upset. I feel we are doing a version on cio...only cause she spends the whole time rolling around alternating between crying and screaming even tho we are in the room with her. But im just lost as to what else to do.
=(

Just want to add. She did this before we moved her, whwn she was still with us. Us moving her was one of our attempts to change things

my kids do same if I try to settle them in their room.

we did have dd going to sleep in her bed for awhile, but one of us was sitting there for hours, and she went through stage of kicking the wall... if dh falls asleep too it takes less time but I just got over it, so moved back to waiting till they fall asleep on couch with me. I wwould love for them to fall asleep in their beds, but ran out of energy and ideas to try to make it happen.

you're not alone! it takes me up to 3hrs to get through DS1's bedtime routine. the last hour or so is screaming and fighting me. he also wakes up to 5 times a night and has only slept through a handful of times. hes approaching 3. :rolleyes:

our routine is very similar. This week in desperation we added a tv to his room. I was skeptical at first, thought it was a bad idea but I might have been wrong. we pop on charley bear after his bath and quiet (not quiet at all) play. I thought it might over stimulate him but having something to sit down and focus on helps him realize he's tired. after a couple of episodes I go in and tuck him in, sing his bedtime songs and kiss him nigh nigh.

he still fights and wants us to stay in the room. so last night I just said enough. I did all the usual tgen left the room. he snuck out repeatedly and every time I just said nothing and put him back in bed. I mean absolute silence. no payoff for getting up. it still took 20 mins of him getting out of bed every minute or so...... but it felt easier. less stressful. nobody yelled. it's so hard not to lose my cool when I'm exhausted and racing to sort dinner before DS2's next feed.
The moral of the story is that it's so hit and miss. I try to just surrender to the crapness and conserve my energy by not yelling GTF to sleep! lol....

I'm right here with you. crazed and exhausted. it's probably nothing you're doing that's causing her to fight sleep. some babies are just f****** tenacious little buggers. :)

We did go through a time with DD, I don't know how old, where she'd just kick up a huge fuss as bedtime. At first it was because she wasn't tired yet, going straight after her bath was no good so we'd let her play quietly until she told us it was bedtime - it was always around 8pm, instead of the 6:30 we'd been doing, and she went to sleep much easier. Then she stopped telling us when she was ready for bed, she was never ready and could stay up all night. We were back to her being a nightmare at bedtime. I think that might actually have been earlier this year, not long after I'd gotten pregnant because I remember thinking she can't do this when there's a baby. One of us would read to her then sing til she fell asleep. But a short way through the singing she'd ask for the other parent, until she was crying, screaming and kicking the wall. Other parent would come in and the whole thing would repeat.

We didn't do anything special to get past it. She still has nights maybe once a fortnight where for whatever reason she doesn't like what's going on. We just stay calm, talk to her, calm her and then keep singing. I do remember the tough times though and I did end up crying in frustration a few times :(

You poor things. I remember how much I hated bedtime because of how long it would take!!

I really think the fact she was left there by herself helped a lot. Might be a bit hard though If she has nothing keeping her in there.

Dd does go to sleep around 8.30-9 now though. She sleeps to about 8 in the morning. We've found the later bedtime causes a lot less trauma for everyone. It also means I can still get a decent sleep because I am a late to bed sleeper.

We tried that little o. But she still woke up at 715 like clock work. So she would get less sleep. Going to bed late never changed this

Hey T, It's normal man!!

I've had 3, all the same. All took a long time. All woke regularly until after 3yo (well DD2 still does it). We've had the same routine since DD1 was tiny. Bath at 5ish, dinner, teeth and then bed. DD1 reads to herself. DS has milk and isn't interested in stories most nights, DD2 feeds and then I hold her until she is asleep. They all go to bed around the same time, DD1 is obviously allowed to be awake later.
I have thought with every single kid that I couldn't do it any more and that there must be something wrong with the way I did it. But I'm a shocking sleeper. I never sleep though the night even when it's uninterrupted and I'm way more than 3yo lol.
My big kids are awesome sleepers most nights, but they are human so it's not the same every single night.
FWIW they get up at the same time every day that's why their bedtime is early. DD2 thinks before 5am is a cracker time to get up - uhuh!

if she is having a day sleep, maybe that is enough sleep for her?? Is she cranky (ie needs more sleep) or does she do ok if she goes to bed later, gets up at 7 and has a day sleep?

Does she maybe need a shorter nap? If DD sleeps in a bit and is cheery all morning she won't have a nap. She gets pretty tired at the end of the day but not crabby, and she goes to bed nice and easy. If she does need a nap, it starts at 12 at the latest and goes no longer than an hour. Any later/longer and she won't go to sleep at night.

Not sure. Not last weekend the one before she didn't have a nap Sunday. Sat night was my party so very late night gor everyone. She still woke up at 715! Then no nap. Wwe got her to sleep about 5ish sun night cause she wss falling asleep in the bath she was so tired. Yet she still manfed to fight and wasn't easy putting her to bed. She still woke every 2 hours and monfay morn 715. So no difference except she was ferral in the eve csuse she was tired

Is she cutting molars? Could it be hayfever or something hurting her when lying down? I'm not sure but neither of mine woke that often in their second year unless sick or cutting 2 year old molars.

She has all but one tooth. But this is normal for her....she has been like this forever, unless she has been sick her whole life...

DD2 is way worse overnight if she doesn't have a nap than when she does but it needs to be midday or before. If she doesn't have a nap she wakes heaps and then ends up on the milk from about 3-4am onwards without stopping. Just really unsettled all night.

She takes an hour or more to settle (unless she doesn't nap then she crashes about 5 with ease) but never upset, just takes a while. We lay on the couch and she has milk and I just look around on my phone.

I feel for you. It must be a stressful end to every day for you all. I have no suggestions and it already sounds like you've tried an awful lot of things :(

A friend of a friend has a business where she helps develop sleep routines/patterns....I have no idea of her philosophy or methods, but I don't think she does CIO. I hear she's had great success with all kinds of kids, of all ages. She does Skype/email consults if she's too far away for visits. pM me and I can give you her details if you'd like.

Good luck with whatever you do.

bah I retract my previous post. I'm still engaged in a battle of wills and just passed the 3hr mark. so don't listen to me... lol. Just know I'm here with you wanting to gouge out my own eyes in frustration.

this thread is preventing me from doing that so thank you!

Bump.

My two are still going, and not looking ready for bed.

:hugs: it's hard when all want is them to go to sleep so you can get some adult time.

yesterday was hell...she refused to have a nap...which resulted in my whole afternoon and late into the evening of trying to get her to have a fraking sleep!!! 7 hours of GTFTS! only to have her still wake every 2 1/2 hours....you would think exhaustion would play a part somewhere??
*sigh*

i hate when my LO has a nap, cos it makes the night a lot longer. He is better without one, but i understand that some kids need them.

Ok a long shot, but could you try wrapping her in a sheet? What about a sippy cup to take to bed? I'm trying to think of ways to make her lie still in bed.

Otherwise, what about reading her stories with her IN her bed (and you sitting on the edge or in a chair in the room). My DS loves stories and will go to sleep for anyone as long as they just keep reading until he nods off. You could also try some music, or a story tape.

Once she is happier to be going to sleep I think you'll find she wakes less overnight. She is just seriously fighting sleep it seems.

Thanks A. She has a sippy drink of water. With her 24/7 even in bed.
I don't know about wrapping her. I think it would annoy hrr more. I normally can't put a blanket on her until after she's asleep because she kicks it straight off

It is totally normal :hug:

My son at that age would have a two hour screaming tantrum at bedtime, followed by several tantrums though out the night when he woke up.
DD1 would do the kicking around wriggling thing for ages with someone sitting on her bed/in bed with her.
DD2 is 26 months and I still cuddle her to bed on the couch and then transfer her.
At 18 months they all were waking every couple of hours.

Some kids just don't sleep well. Don't stress about it and don't think you are doing anything wrong. She will get it....eventually.

:

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DD2 is 26 months and I still cuddle her to bed on the couch and then transfer her.

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oh good, i'm not the only one then!

How is it going?