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Two of her classmates pulled her pants down twice each. DD didn't tell me anything, she came out before her sister and one of the boys mums brought her son over to apologize to DD, which I really appreciated her doing. I presumed there would have been a note in DD's diary so took it out and nothing. Do you think an incident like this warrants letting the parents know what happened to their child? TIA.
Regards,
Dianne
How did the other mum find out?
yes absolutely, that's providing a teacher witnessed it / was told of the incident. I'm also curious to know how the other parent knew.
The mum said the teacher pulled her aside and let her know. I asked DD if she told her teacher and she did, so I feel assured that the boys were at least spoken to about inappropriate behaviour. It just would have been nice to at least read a note about the incident.
Regards,
Dianne
Were you there at school pick up? Seems strange they'd speak to the boys parents but not you...
I was waiting at the front of the school, I'm presuming the boys mum was around the infant area which is at the back.
Regards,
Dianne
Maybe the teacher is waiting to speak to you personally. If they spoke to the others involved I'm sure they will speak with you also.
I think it's weird that the teacher didn't tell you about it.
I hope the teacher plans on talking to you tomorrow (though it should have been her priority today), because that's a major incident in my opinion! If the teacher doesn't talk to you about it, I would be making an app for a meeting with her and the principal.
I'm going to go into the infant area in the morning and see if she tells me. I've just lost all my faith in the school with the way they handled DD12's bullying issues
so maybe I'm over reacting a bit but I feel something in writing at least would have been nice.
Regards,
Dianne
I would have expected a note asking you to speak to the teacher in case she missed you in the afternoon.
Or even a phone call at home to ask you to come and talk to them.
Yes, I would expect to be told. I would not 'be waiting to see if I am told' I would be asking first thing if they could explain the incident to you and what has happened since.
However, if I am reading correctly, you weren't in an area where the teacher was able to get to you. The teacher still has an obligation to make sure all other children leave their care safely, rather than track down a parent not in the immediate vicinity to them.
Whilst i agree things could've been handled better, I think you need to approach then.
I would expect that you would have been told.
If your DD was in my class and I knew you were at the school somewhere I would have tried to seek you out to talk to you about it in person as opposed to writing it in a diary (mainly so I can answer any questions straight away as things aren't always 100% clear in writing). If I couldn't see you in person I would have made a phone call for the same reasons I just mentioned.
As an aside, I'd also question the confidentiality side of things. Did the teacher actually say to this parent that it was your DD this happened to or did her son tell her? I would never mention other people involved in a particular incident. I'd say that your child and another pulled a girls pants down but not mention any names.....
My DD was involved in a similar incident at school & I had a phone call immediately from the teacher. To be fair it wasn't clear exactly what had happened or whether there were any other elements of assault involved but the teacher I spoke to was horrified & the school took the whole thing very seriously.
So yes, I would expect to be notified. Immediately. By phone. And I would expect the children involved to be excluded from class until it was clear exactly what happened and until my DD felt safe for them to rejoin it.
Wouldn't it be assault just for the fact that someone has removed her pants? More than once. I would be furious.
your poor DD! Id be livid!
I couldn't take DD5 in myself this morning as DD12 has Yr7 orientation but I'll be entering the Infant building when I pick her up this afternoon. As far as the teacher seeking me out in the grounds if she really wanted to let me know she would have found me. The school is very small, 210 students, parents either wait at the back or front playground and yesterday I was there for a good 10min after the bell waiting for DD12 to come out. Thank you ladies for your validation, I will speak to her teacher and ask her why I wasn't notified and I will also let the principle know.
Regards,
Dianne
I'd be pressing to meet with the teacher about it. And i would be inclined to approach the admin desk and ask to speak to the prinicipal re: the correct procedures for such incidents and why they were not followed (which it sounds like they were not).
How did you go Dianne?
Not good, I approached the teacher and she told me that DD's pants were tugged at and not pulled down. I told her that DD told me everyone saw her underwear, so to me that indicates they were pulled down far enough. She also told me that if they were pulled down she would have contacted me. I said to her that if it warranted speaking to the boys mothers I should have also been notified. The principal was not in today so I'll be going in tomorrow morning and letting her know of my concerns. I've totally had it with this school, I rang another school which is just up the road, will be making an appointment to have DD enrolled next year.
Regards,
Dianne
Definitely chat to the principal if you feel the teacher hasn't addressed your concerns or responded to the incident appropriately.
I will admit I feel less outraged now I know it was her outer pants. I interpreted pants to mean knickers, which IMO would be more serious & warrant immediate contact. However it's still not ok to have heard about via another parent first, and there needs to be more communication around what response the school/teacher has taken in relation to the disrespect shown to your DD's personal space.
I'm so sorry for not explaining properly, her underwear was not pulled down just her outer pants.
Regards,
Dianne
No don't apologise Dianne. You asked a fair question & even without my assumption It's worth talking about these sorts of situations & how they are handled at school. I know you have has problems in the past with bullying not being addressed the way you would like it, so it's pretty important IMO to keep talking and asking questions and getting clarification. :hug:
I think if your child felt violated and upset by what happened, then the matter should have been taken to you and spoken about. It's not as serious if you child wasn't totally exposed, but she was exposed and her personal space invaded, that's reason enough to talk to the teacher.
Sorry, but I don't think it's any less serious whether it was her underware that was exposed or her private parts.
The fact is the behaviour is inappropriate and I would expect to be contacted.
I send my children to school and expect that they will be safe and to me, this is certainly not safe nor appropriate behaviour.
GL
Thank you so much for your support ladies. I failed my DD12 and I've promised myself to not allow that to happen again, communication is the major factor missing from this school. I've spoken to the principal this morning, I asked for a copy of the incident report which there is none, so I asked her to have one written out for me and I will pick up a copy this afternoon. She did agree with me that I should have been advised so at least we agree on something.
Regards,
Dianne
Good for you, Dianne. Well done for tackling this face-on.
Good on you for following up, I Sgree if she had to talk to the parents of the kids who did it then she should have spoken to you and filed a report.