Printable View
I hate even admitting this, but I'm not coping. DS2 doesn't sleep beyond 15 minutes, only if being held and stirs at my slightest movement. He cries or screams if I put him down for even a second, so I don't... That means I can't eat properly, get meals for DS1, even go to the loo. I feel so out of control, so powerless to help him.
What do I do?
Big big hugs honey :/
Do you have a sling or wrap ?
Oh dear
You definitely need a sling of some sort and then teach your helpers to use it, also. Do you have helpers? That's the other thing you really need. :hug:
Oh hun, wish I was closer. :hug:
I wouldn't bother worrying about naps in his bed. I wore DD2 in a wrap or sling for all of her naps for her first three months or so (not for reflux, just would not sleep without me). 40 mins was the best she ever did for about 12 mths. I know you have a dodgy back, so I'd try to find a group of babywearers near you who can help you out with different carries and carriers to find what works for you. When your DH or anyone you trust is around, give DS2 to them to hold if that helps you get things done.
And def call on anyone who's offered help, food, shopping, or babysitting until you are on your feet. Don't be embarrassed to ask for a bit of a hand - you've got a tougher gig than you expected.
Big big hugs for you hun. :hug::hug:
DS was the same, and he was not a fan of my sling and only tolerated my carrier for very short periods too. One day when he was sounding a bit congested I layed him on his belly next to me on the bed to pat his back and he feel asleep and stayed asleep for hours. since that day his has slept on his belly. It took me weeks to relax with him tummy sleeping though and I know it is not for everyone to try, just thought I would share what helped me. Also with DD1 she loved her bouncer because it vibrated.
DD2 was a tummy sleeper too, Kazzo! Did the trick for us eventually. Not sure about how that affects reflux though.
It seemed to help DS, atleast I think it did. He really improved with his reflux around the same time and by 10 weeks we stopped using Losec. I think though that it was Colic that made DS more uncomfortable and the pressure on his tummy helped him.
My DH used to take DD (and later DS) for a walk in the carrier many late arvos/early evenings. It gave me half an hour or so without the incessant noise. Is this a possibility? Sometimes, a different body and the warmth and movement even settled them for a little while.
take care, its tough. i'm a bit scared #3 is going to be similar.
Thanks everyone, it's nice to have people to vent to...
Not sure about the tummy sleep. Tried it once and he wasn't happy, but, might try again.
He's just way too hot to wear - our air con is passable, but not great and he's always so hot from his wriggling around and crying. HeI do try most days though. And yeah, my back is stuffed, so now wearing him hurts. Carrying him hurts too :(
Helpers are DS1 and DH. Both are as awesome as they can be, but DH can't be here all day. His work is already suffering because he's spending extra time here in the mornings. And yep, he gets home from work, baths both boys, makes or finishes dinner, puts DS2 to bed some days and DS every day. A lovely new friend has offered to walk DS1 to kindy if I need her to (our boys are in the same class) and made us a casserole too. She has her own little one too, though, so is doing all she can.
We have a vibrating bouncer thing - he did 10 mins last week, but screams in it now. Screams in the pram, the car, the bassinet and now even on the floor mat (he was enjoying having 10 mins twice a day there last week).
He's just slept for 30 mins in my lap (longest nap in four days, yay!) woke up farting and pooping - this is what usually wakes him, though he's not writhing in pain like he often does. Looked like he was going to nod off again (ok, not really, but I can hope!) but no such luck...
Just popping in to give you a hug, these newborns can be troublemakers can't they :(
Oh, I forgot about your back!
Do you have any other family or friends around? Could you pay someone to help occasionally?
Ds was like that he was such a difficult little thing! What worked for us was a chiropractor who did gentle adjustments and we also discovered he had reflux he was a different baby once we had both those sorted.
does he like the bath? dd, ds and I jumped in the bath together some days. helped to settle him and kept dd occupied and I could chill for a bit.
Do you wrap him? Dd1 was the same. A child youth nurse showed me how to wrap so they can't get out and it made all the difference! She slept longer during the day and starting sleeping better at night.
I've been wrapping dd2 the same nowand it's been a complete difference to the early days with dd1.
Does he like the pram? Sometimes I would rock dd1 and she'd sleep ok in there.
Well, it seems he can read....he slept on me for ½ hour earlier (which was enough that I could put him down for 5 mins to get our lunches), then had a feed and fell asleep, on his tummy for just under 1.5 hrs....then slept another 15mins when I put him down to duck to the loo! Which means I now have a happy little guy who let me change his nappy without tears and is now feeding happily....and it's arsenic hour! :)
BR - We see a chiro too.he slept well after his last adjustment, might need another...
Hot I - the bath could work, Ta!
Little O - he's better than Houdini at escaping from wraps, but yes, we do wrap - it definitely helps.
The CHN said there was home help available, but didn't give me the info...will look into it, I think. Can't really afford to pay anyone, but might have to make it work if we need to. All our family is interstate unfortunately, though mum has offered to come back...don't really want her full time though iykwim?
That is a good sleep. I bet it felt great for you too :)
Yay JLeigh! Glad you had a better day today xx
That is so good jleigh!
Just wanted to add you don't have to feel bad about saying you don't feel like you're not coping! That's just part of being a mum sometimes :hug:
Woohoo! Yay for sleep!
The reflux doesnt sound under control, I would go back to the doc/paed and ask about increasing his meds
.
If you want some company I'll happily come for a visit if you feel like it. Venting is good for you :)
Dd was like this too, well done for today :) I cant add much more than all the good ideas already posted x
For the reflux... Go to the doctor and demand they prescribe something. I had to bully a doctor into prescribing Zantac, and within 12 hours we saw dramatic improvement.
It actually sounds like he was also overtired, and he definitely needed the sleep.
It took us 2-3 weeks of trying multiple things to get him to calm down, but we have found that a combo of Gripe water (for wind), and Zantac have made him a lot more comfortable. Infacol made the reflux worse.
Could it have been wind? One piece of info I was told was to not even bother putting a baby down until at least one burp after feeds :)
DS is on Losec, and has definitely improved. I think eliminating dairy is helping too (darn, I loooove my dairy!!) but it's early days yet. Wind and gas pain are huge issues - it's what wakes him, stops him falling asleep and means feeding to sleep or feeding for comfort are really hard. He needs to be upright during and after feeds or it's not pretty. He already knows feeding is a double edged sword - it comforts, but also causes pain so that can be a battle too. :(
DH is going to find out whether home help is available. If not, we'll look at the budget to see what we can afford. Fingers crossed for a better day. I got a shower and breakky this morning, so feeling ok. Life is better when you don't smell! We're going to attempt a trip to the library today - wish us luck!
Yules - You're always welcome here if you're up to the drive I'd love to have you ;)
JLeigh just seen your in perth. Are you NOR?
Glad you got time for a shower,it helps. Poor lil boy.Hope you all find something that helps soon.
Awww big hugs love, and good on your for speaking up and acknowledging that you arent coping! My little boy was very difficult with his reflux and the only thing we found that helped was a swing that goes side to side (recommended for babies with reflux). I have a bad back as well so baby wearing wasn't an option for me. Im in perth as well and im happy to help out. Even if it means coming up and watching the kids so you can have a bath or go for a walk and clear your head x
Thanks everyone. Everyone here is being super nice and making me feel like I'm not alone, or just being a spooky la-la. I hope no one minds me updating on here still.
We had another good day here today. The trip out went well, with Bub sleeping most of the time (except for the car ride). My back is killing me because of the baby wearing, but that's the least of my troubles. Bub also slept for 1.5hrs in the pram (I did the backwards and forwards over a bump thing for 25 mins, then repeated every 15 mins when he stirred) after lunch, so I got to give DS1 some much needed attention, had a 15 min power nap, tidied up a bit and prepped dinner. And, Bub woke, happy and easy going. ;). Feel like we've turned a corner... I have more patience with DS1 (who is awesome, but just a typical 3.5yo) and I'm sure Bubs reflux symptoms are improving each day. It's amazing what being able to go to the loo or get a drink does for your mental outlook.
Sounds good! Glad to hear things are a better. Remember this turnaround if things go backwards again in future (they might, they do, with babies). It will get better.
Hugs JLeigh! My SIL went through this, it's so I dehabilitating and knocked her confidence, she found increasing the losec dose & using a thickener in the formula helped - the later won't work for you, but perhaps they should change the dose?
Maybe hire a local teenager to help on the PMs?
Oh I have totally been there with my DD2 and reflux - just horrible! I found the losec took a solid week to make a difference and 1.5 to 2 weeks before it made her a happier baby. I found that even when the reflux didn't hurt so much it caused issues like hiccups waking her up or stopping her falling asleep and wind pain etc. but at least that is workable and you can find ways to get over those hurdles, constant screaming and no sleep are not workable as you already know :( If after a couple weeks it is better but still pretty unworkable then looking at increasing the dose may help.
But yeah, they get overtired from not being able to sleep from the pain and it just cascades into everything turning to sh*t but slowly slowly they get more sleep, stop associating feeding with pain, get more comfy and the unraveled ends start to knit back together.
Glad it seems to be settling down, reflux is a hard thing to manage and each baby seems to respond differently what worked for dd2 didn't with ds.
Glad you had a better day. Maybe book in a visit for yourself with the chiro?
Kind of crappy day today...DS2 just refused to give in and go to sleep. He was awake 6 hours straight, except for 2-4 mins at every feed (which he had about 20 of!) He wasn't in pain, just wakeful. I rocked, held, swaddled, wore him, shhhh'd, pushed him over bumps and around the house in the pram, carried him and left him lying awake, hoping he'd nod off. We had it dark, light, noisy, quiet....but nothing! I used all my energy trying to get him to sleep - poor DS1 gets neglected or snapped at for no real reason. Then DH comes home, has Bub fast asleep within 5 minutes and proceeds to tell his mum, brother and sister (who all called to wish him a happy birthday) that Bub is doing well and isn't a problem, for him. Grrrrrrr, I wanted to kick him.
Yes Jen - both Bub and I need an adjustment...
Double post
Oh no. Do hope tomorrow is a better day for you x
I swear they smell our milk!!
Did your DH do anything different to you?
Is your ds in a wonder week? I know my dd2 is due soon...
:hug:
Oh no Jleigh what a rubbish day :( hope today/tomorrow (2am feed time here!) are better. Have you got the wonder weeks app??
that used to drive me crazy too! exact same scenario happened here.:
hope today is better.
I think DH's 'baby whispering' ability is down to being calmer (he hadn't been trying for hours already), not smelling like milk and being nice and padded as opposed to bony like me!
Bub has been windy and wakeful most of the night....extra feeds, squirmy and uncomfortable with lots of action at both ends and just not wanting to go back to sleep. I ended up putting him in bed with me at 4:30am and we both dozed til 7am.
The silent reflux has turned into reflux/vomiting too...four times in the last day and a half. He's only ever brought milk up twice before that. Should I be worried?