premature pushing

I talked to a friend yesterday while we were watching 'One born every minute'. She was talking about that uncontrollable urge to push. Well, I never experienced that. I remember being so over the long exhausting contractions. The midwife said to tell her when I felt the urge to push, and even though I didn't feel an urge to push I told her that I did. Maybe I was confused, I felt a lot of pressure and I was pretty out of it from the gas. I just wanted to get dd out! It took 50 minutes of pushing to get her out, I was completely exhausted. So much so that I could barely hold her or open my eyes. I feel bad about this all the time. Is there anything dangerous about pushing before your body wants to? Something I may not know about just yet? I had a normal delivery, a couple of small tears. But all in all I think it was ok. But I just can't shake the guilty feeling :(

It can slow baby's progress due to swelling of the cervix. This can be dangerous if it swells too much, and baby isn't able to progress further into the canal. Was gas the only drug you used? I've heard that sometimes drugs during labour can stifle the urge to push, although I can't remember where exactly it was that I read it :think:

Yeah only gas, but lots of gas. I suspect that is why it took so long to get her out. I also got one hem, only a little one though that went away after a few days.I just wish I had have had the strength to cuddle her a bit more :(
Just before I got her out, I kept saying that I couldnt push anymore. And I saw them look at each other and start talking softly between them. I think they were planning intervention...

I had two drug free labours and both times I wanted to push and was pushing because I really felt the urge and it still took over an hour both times! First time was over 2 hours. I was so buggered when they were born I was just glad they were out and I wanted someone else to hold them too. So just so you know, these things happen in many types of births xx

Thanks meow. That does make me feel a bit better :) Midwife said my contractions were very strong and long so i was just so exhausted. Even if I had have waited for that urge maybe I would have been just as buggered anyway..I guess i'm lucky there wasn't any damage from pushing too early.

Yes that's true, as meow said. I forgot to add that, my first took 1 hour 40 mins pushing, drug free, my own positions etc etc.

With my last baby, I never felt the urge to push, if the midwife didn't tell me I could, I'd never have known. I also never felt DD crown!

Do ladies that have an epi feel an urge to push? Don't they just push when told to? I would think that's the same thing...
Let go of the guilt, it all worked out in the end :)

I never felt any urge to push with my first whatsoever. Drug free, wasn't positioned quite right, took 2 hours of pushing.

50mins of pushing for your first baby is very normal. In saying this as a midwife if the baby is not distressed I will not encourage a mother to push without the urge although this may be compromised if she has had an epidural and it may be necessary to start pushing before the feeling has returned. The urge will come when your ready. That could be 5mins or an hour. Whilst your getting through these contractions bub is getting closer to delivery and the pushing phase should be easier for you as you do not have as far to push (as bub has often descended a bit more before pushing starts) Its also much easier to push when the urge is so overwhelming you just cant stop. Pushing will be much more effective.

I was made to push with my 1st. I was 17. I pushed for almost 3hours without exaggeration although this was not always effective. I do not recall ever having that urge to push. As a result I had a massive PPH after birth from uterine exhaustion and ended up loosing 1.5L of blood and required surgery to control the bleeding. With my 2nd birth I was fully dilated 30mins before I started pushing. I had no urge when the VE confirmed I was fully dilated. At that stage I told them it felt like I had a shot put up my a#*e. When the urge came around 30mins later DD2 was out with 2 contractions which included a mild shoulder dystocia. With my 3rd birth the only one I had an epidural for I was loosing control even with the epidural which was not effective. I was climbing the walls and really distressed. The obstetrician pushed my cervix back when I was only 9cm dilated (but stretchy cervix) which helped me to push her out before I was ready. I consented to that and although it took another 30mins to birth her for me I felt that was the best. She was also a shoulder dystocia this time more serious then the 2nd baby. We were expecting it due to birth no2 and the fact no3 was 500grams bigger.

I definitely have a strong Fetal Ejection Reflex (the urge to push). It's like the urge to vomit for me - totally out of my control.

I pushed for 1 hour with my first, 40 mins with the second and 35 mins with the third. It sounds like your body knew what it was doing, but perhaps you couldn't really "feel" it at the time, even though your body was doing brilliantly. Perhaps some haziness from the gas?

Let go of those feelings hun. You did a brilliant job birthing your baby. Next time you might choose things differently. Next baby will be its own journey.

Thank you ladies :) Gosh, people have said to me that 1 hour is ages! Some of you have had so much longer, i would have died!! :lol:

Mildez, how traumatic that must have been :(

Well, I feel much better about it all now. One thing i remember is them telling me to push like I'm doing a pooh. But it didn't feel right to me like that. It's almost like I can push from the front more effectively. I tried laying on my back, all fours, one leg on the bed standing up. In the end it was sitting on the toilet that did the trick!

I had a strong urge to push, with both vbacs the midwives were filling out paperwork and not expecting it, especially with dd2 as I just started without knowing that's what was happening it just happened with naturally. With ds I was able to tell them to stop the paperwork and that I needed to push so I wasn't technically admitted until after he was born.

No urge to push first time round, had epidural for about 12 hrs and told when to push. I pushed for 3 hours and needed vac extraction. Baby's heart slowed and I got hot as in mild temp they said from the continued exertion, bub had Iv antibiotic as a caution and all was well. Had internal tears.

Dd2 felt one single urge to push ( felt like a vomit spasm from tummy but going downwards instead of up). Then epidural kicked in ( it was late in the game to get one but dilated super fast in process of getting the go ahead and anesthetist turning up). Not sure how long pushing was, I'd guess 1 hour. Had episiotomy only due to scar tissue blocking the was from internal tears first labour.

#1 i pushed for more than 2 hours, and the staff said i would be 'allowed' to go for another hour. My body wasn't ready to push, and the coached pushing did lead to damage that is ongoing.

#2 i barely pushed at all, basically breathed him out. i wasn't clock watching, but i know he was right there for quite awhile, and i was trying to minimise the risk of reinjuring my perenium.

I have read some info about how it can be quite normal and natural for women to have a pause before they and baby are ready to complete birthing. Not all people working in birth realise this though.

DD1 I took an hour to push her out .. I felt the urge and it was a drug free birth

DD2 took about 5mins

An hour or more is very normal for your first baby :)
xo

50minutes is completely normal for your first baby, the first is usually the longest to push out. Most hospitals consider 2hours of second stage to be normal for a first time mum as long as there is some signs of progress.

as for not feeling an urge, some people just don't for some reason, my friend never did and ended up having a 3hours second stage with a vacuum, we think it was something to do with the babies head position.

It's really nothing to feel guilty about, you may never have felt any stronger urge than pressure, everyone is different. I'm sure the midwives would have checked you were fully dilated so whether you pushed before a strong urge hasn't really affected the outcome ( except to make you feel bad unnecessarily! )

My midwife had her first baby at home and after labouring completely naturally for almost a day to full dilation had no urge to push at all. She got an acupuncturist around to stimulate the pushing urge. She says she knew it would have come naturally eventually (often your body is just taking a break before that next stage), but she didn't want to wait any longer. I think we're so used to managing birth on a timed schedule we're not sure how it would work otherwise.

I had the uncontrollable urge to pugs with my first but still had a lip so had to hold off but didn't get the urge with my second but was completely ready both only took 10 mins to push out

I had the urge my whole labour. I had to fight my body the whole time and it was hard. When I was fully and I could push it was so much easier I could just let go and turn off and my body did it all. That urge was so strong there was no denying it. I only needed to push for 20mins..

No urge with me for my first either, I even wrote in my bith story that I didn't feel it, like everyone tells you to expect it, for me never occurred. But we are all different :)

So may different scenarios. I never thought about the MW checking that I was fully dilated and ready to go. That also makes me feel better! I had almost 2 hours of contractions at home and I was 6cm when I was admitted. I was ecstatic when I found I was already 6cm :lol: But 11 hours on and still waiting i just wanted it to end.

Thanks for your replies ladies, I know every birth is different, but I feel more confident about the whole experience :)

I didn't feel the 'urge' to push with any of my older 3. It was 'you're 10 cm start pushing'.

With dd3 though, wow. I felt a bit pushy but it wasn't what I thought it was. It was pressure in my pelvis/back from her being posterior. When a VE showed slight swelling to my cervix I knew it was too early & stopped.

I never had an urge to push. My body just naturally started pushing on its own when it was ready. Was an unreal feeling! I actually yelled out 'holy sh**' as I felt my body take over, because it took me by surprise.

I had had the feeling before. When my others were crowning & I was told to stop/slow down. It was impossible to hold back at that point. My body was doing the job on its own.

Bub was also posterior when I got the holy crap pushy feeling and same with another friend of mine but with second who was anterior no pushy feeling

Hmmm, I had an anterior placenta....

My first i pushed and couldnt stop it, no matter how hard i tried. Took.an.hour and 20 to get Dj out
My second was that 'need to poo' feeling. Four pushes latet vic flew out
My third nuthin' til my waters broke then it was uncontroled pushing a whole 90seconds may 3mins of it.. and Miss bugs emerged.

For my DD2 (first labour) my body did it all of it's own accord. I didn't realise what was happening until a few cx had passed (anterior placenta). Completely uncontrollable. Took me 50 mins but it was hard work and I put in a lot of effort.

DD3 it's kinda hard to say. She was crowning without me feeling any pushing, pressure, burning, or coming down (I had cx, but nothing that indicated she was even close). I gently pushed her out, so it was half my body and half me trying to manage it as slowly as I could. Def couldn't stop my body though. No real effort at all, I feel like I cheated at birth... (No idea on placenta, it was fairly low at 20wks and I think posterior because I could feel everything at the front).

You're right, Tasha. Different for every woman and even every birth.

Definitely different for each birth. As I said, DD1, 1 hour and 40 mins pushing, DD2, 6 mins ;)