How do you eat dinner?

How do you and your family eat dinner?

One loved one is an "at the table" kinda guy, and he and his family sit down at the table for all meals (and morning and afternoon tea, if not playing outside). He even has breakfast at the table and reads the paper before heading off to work.

A friend is the diametric opposite - the dining table is used for homework and storing things a lot, and the family generally eats on the couch.

We are somewhere in the middle - the DSs eat brekky and snacks at their little table, other meals are generally at the dining table all together, we picnic outside periodically when the weather allows, and if I'm late home I'll often not bother eating at the table - I'll have it at the coffee table or in front of the TV, depending on what DH and I are doing while I eat. Snacks are at the table or outside.

What does your family do?

Brekky is at the dining table for the kids. I will eat my brekky on the go so usually carry it around with me while I'm getting the kids ready for the day. Lunch is varied, outside picnic style, at the dining table or on the floor in the loungeroom. Dinner is usually at the dining table as a family, unless we are having an adults dinner then ours is usually on the lounge. If we bbq then we eat outside.
Snacks etc are usually outside or on the floor in the toy room.

All meals at the dining table. We only eat there. Usually as a family.

If it's warm we eat outside on the table. Always on the table.

Research shows that when families eat together, they relate better and are less likely to get in trouble as they get older

Morning - kids have breakfast at our bench while I or DH their get lunches ready for school. We sometimes will have our breakfast on the run.

Lunch kids at school or again at our bench (it's quite the meeting spot our bench).

Dinner - Kids eat earlier than us, so again at the bench while we chat to them about their day and we will often eat later at the bench.

Our house design is open plan so our 'bench' is a very central meeing spot and our dinner table is more of a formal eating area.

We may not eat all at the same time, we are together when we eat.

Our main strict rule is no TV or screens during meal times.

We have one table - so I suppose is a dining table - it is used for everything though. We nearly always eat there - occasionally sat on balcony but mainly there (TV always off).

Work days - (4 days a week)

Breakfast - I eat mine on the go (which often involves children stealing the odd spoonful, children have theirs at daycare/before school care) - I would love to sit down for breakfast altogether but have to leave the house by 7:10 and I am not willing to wake the children any earlier.

Lunch - Daycare or School - or work for me - I take my main meal of the day with me and eat it there (DH does the same)

Tea - We all sit down at the table - even if DH and I are not eating yet (we both prefer to eat main meal at lunch time) we still sit down at the table with the kids (but when DH and I snack later won't be at the table generally)

Non-work days/weekends

Breakfast - Sit down together for breakfast

Lunch - If eating at home we will all be sat together at table, often we will be out so either will be a snack/picnic lunch somewhere or a sit-down meal.

Tea - Sit down together at table

(We haven't actually got enough couch space for the four of us to sit on - so eating on the couch wouldn't work :-)).

Breakfast and lunch for Spock are at her little table. Me on the couch next to her. Tea (evening meal) is at our dining table most of the time... We are aiming for all to be there, but someone (me =p) continues to use it as a dumping ground...I'm getting better but some days it is just impossible to see it let alone clear it for a meal... It's only a small round 4 person table too, so not much space (no room for a bigger one either)

99% of the time they are all at the table.
Occasionally popcorn on the couch, or an icypole outside.
My kids are messy

All meals at a table, dining table, outdoor table or a picnic, but table rules and manners. Once every couple of months, we may do take out pizza in front of a film/documentary. But that's not the norm. This has been the case since DH and I got our own place, and continued when Liebs was small, and will continue when Stormageddon's here too.

Also, no distractions at the table. No electronics, no books, no magazines, no airfix kits. Just conversation. And yes, that is a bit of a grinding stone for my axe. I see children who never (and I mean never) get that and boy do they have problems in most cases.

We are exactly the same as TT40. The kids eat breakfast and lunch at their little table, DD insists on it. That table only has two chairs so I put it at the couch and I can sit with them. If it's a weekend though, DH is home and we sit at the dining table instead. Dinner is always everyone at the dining table.

So I guess our meals are always eaten together, just the size of the table changes lol.

All meals are eaten at the dining table, together most of the time where possible. Snacks are generally eaten at dining table also, occasionally can have some biscuits or popcorn while watching something. Drinks are left on table at all times.

Occasionally if DH and I are eating much later than kids we will eat on couch but very rare. Pre kids we generally ate on couch but once DS1 started solids have moved to the table.

Dinner is always at the table, except when we have pizza movie night when we are in the lounge. Breakfast is at the table on school days but if they ask they can have it at the couch in the weekends. Lunch and snacks are usually in the lounge.

Breakfast and lunch are either at the table or at the bench in the kitchen.

Dinner is always at the table, either inside or outside. We do have picnics sometimes on the trampoline. I believe this time is very important. I did not grow up with a family that ate at the table or together for that matter and although we get on I would not say we are close.

Snacks always depend on what it is as to where the kids can eat them.

If I am not eating at the same time as the kids I still always sit and chat with them. I hate when my dining table has things put on it. My kids know that if the colour in are play a game at the table they have to pack it away.

Breakfast, lunch & snacks are at the breakfast bar. Dinners are always at the dining room table.

Everyone must be sitting down when eating. No eating on the couch or in the bedrooms, no walking around while eating (unless it's a snack and you're outside).

I started this when DS was young and I've just kept it going.

Oh we are not good at this. We all eat in the lounge room in front of the TV
Our house is so much smaller than the last one, our dining table is too big for the dining room so it's too awkward in there.
I want to go back to sitting at the table like we used to....

We sit at the table for breakfast and dinner, all eat together. My DH is a shift worker and on the odd occasion I might eat in front of the telly with dinner on my lap.

We all eat together but generally in the lounge room. The kitchen table is the home to all Andrew's stuff laptop etc. It's just too hard to move it every bloody night. I used too. If we go out however to someone's house for tea/lunch say for example my Mum's, then the kids automatically just sit at the table. Probably cause there is no crap on it hahaha.

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Research shows that when families eat together, they relate better and are less likely to get in trouble as they get older

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This is something that inspires me, and which I've read before with similar types of studies (more likely to share when something is wrong, more confident in sharing feelings and discussing beliefs, more comfortable sharing when something is worrying / upsetting / confusing them, etc).

And some of my most "family" memories are from when I was sitting around the dinner table with my family. that's something I want to emulate and replicate with my family.

I need to get home in time for dinner more often.

Growing up we always sat together at the table, even as babies mum and dad sat us at the table, even if we were too little to eat. Im extremely close to my parents and brothers, even after dark angst terrible teenage years (each of us with seperate battles) we always came home to the family table at the end and pulled through together.
Absolutely a priority for me to replicate that with my children

Always at the dining table for dinner. Kitchen bench for breakfast. Usually on the lounge for lunch

We're an at-the-table family too. I have read lots of research into being together at meal times which has inspired me to insist on meals at the dining table. Or the outdoors table. Occasionally we have a picnic on a rug outside, or if weather is inclement, it's on a rug inside watching a movie sometimes. Snacks can be a mixture of on-the-go foods, at the table, or outside eating. We generally don't eat in front of the tv at all, or else where in the house, unless it's a special movie night, or someone is sick in bed.
Growing up my family very rarely ate together. I always felt lonely, and used to make an effort, even then to eat dinner at the table. Otherwise I was alone in front of the tv. I don't have many memories of being wit my whole family at mealtimes at all. I wish that were different. Now I realise it is likely because we have great conversations at the table. We catch up and plan and laugh. It's bonding time, and when I was young, I missed that. I want my kids to have fond memories of mealtimes and home and food.

Just because no one has responded yet with it...

With a knife and fork, sometimes a spoon, and on occasion with my hands.

Never been good with chopsticks.

At the moment DS has his dinner at the time DH gets home from work so he has it in his high chair and then DH and I have dinner later once he is in bed. We eat it on the couch watching telly like we always have but we are aware we need to change our behaviour and start eating at the table once DS gets a bit older and we start eating at the same time. Growing up we always ate dinner in front if the tv so sitting at the table every night is not something I'm used to.

We were like Em when DS1 was little, he always ate early, so DH and I would eat later in front of the TV, but now that both boys are old enough to eat at 6, I'm quite passionate about dinner being at the dining table all together.

Growing up my parents had their own business and always worked 14 hour days so we very very rarely sat around the table to eat dinner together and I really envied other kids who got to do that. Having said that, we all worked in the family business so we still spent a lot of time together, and have a great relationship.

We have always eaten together at the table. We have both been raised that way and so even before kids we ate breakfast and dinner together. It's the best time to chat and bond for us.

Apart from bonding as a family I also find it good training for the kids with table manners and behaviour. I know that dd1 eats her food cleanly and respectfully, can have a dinner conversation and enjoys being with us. If we go out she is the same which makes things easier too.

I would love to be able to say we all ate our meals at the same time around a table. But the reality of our life at the moment is that DH doesn't get home til 6pm (having ridden his bike for 30 minutes, all hot and sweaty, doesn't feel like eating) and 6pm is the very latest the kids can stretch to having dinner at (bed is quite early here too, 6:30-7pm). So family dinners on weeknights aren't really pleasant for anyone!

How do all you others manage family dinners? Am I missing something?

I always thought the same - how do people eat dinner together when kids need to go to bed.

For us - DS1 is in bed at 7, and DS2 at 6:30, so dinner happens at 6. The only way that's possible is because my husband is the CEO of his workplace so he has the flexibility to get into the office at 6am and leave at 5pm. We then eat dinner, put the kids to bed, and most nights he does some more work. He's also a footy coach, so 2 nights a week he's home late and it's just me and the kiddies at the table.

Maybe you could have dinner at 6:15? That way he can have a shower as soon as he gets home and then eat? It's really just about making it part of your routine.

We are lucky that dh finishes his 8hr day at 2pm, anything after that is overtime, which he does regularly so averages getting home at 330ish (30min drive home) so we can take our time and have tea whenever we want. Spock goes to bed 730 to 8ish too, so late compared yo most.
I guess you just do what works for you

The way I see it - it isn't actually about the eating - it is about all sitting round together with no TV on - this is what I think is the crucial part (and I suspect if a study compared people who sat round for half an hour every evening playing dominoes with people who sat at a table and ate a meal they would find no significant difference in the their relationships etc.). So I sympathize with your DH, sometimes I get in at 18:00 and I don't want to eat at that point - but the kids go to bed at 19:00, so what we do is we sit at the table while they eat (sometimes DH and I do eat but often we don't and just have a cup of tea, or just one of us eats), often sitting at the table with them and not eating is actually more difficult (because it seems tempting to use that time to do something else - e.g. make the lunches) but we try not to do that - because we see the sitting round all together as important. I am sure as kids bedtimes get later it becomes easier (although neither DH or I are a fan of eating main meal in the evening) but personally I don't think feeding kids too close to bedtime is a good thing (from a tiredness and full stomach perspective) and I think the benefits of 'family dinners' can be obtained without all having to eat - you just have to factor in time at some point to just sit round and chat. It doesn't have to be both parents, my personal view is the thing to avoid is having kids dinner time with no adult sat down at the table and sometimes that is an easy trap to fall into as if one partner is out the other gives the kids food and then rushes about doing other stuff while the kids eat it - but it is the 'downtime' bit of eating that is the important bit.

We do a mixture of everything. We sway between sitting at the dining table and sitting japanese style around the coffee table :) we always eat together. And we always converse over a meal. DS like to play "roses and thorns" over dinner which is a game where you talk about all your bad and good things of the day and see if you can turn your thorns into roses :) I can't remember how it came to be. But he loves it. He even makes guests play lol.

We do a similar thing, but we don't call it that.

We also play "the talking game" - which is the Key Jar. Google it - there's free printables, to make your own. It's very awesome.