Do Boys need... Do girls need...

Hi ladies,
Curiosity is kicking in again. As we are ttc #3 and we are fortunate enough to have one of each already. Just wondering in your experience what your opinion is regarding if
BOYS NEED BROTHERS and if GIRLS NEED SISTERS?????

Reading a post from Fletch about gender swaying got me to thinking if maybe we should try the same. But now sure which sex to sway with. Do you think that a girl is fine brought up with two brothers or a brother being brought up with two sisters.

At the end of the day all we wish for is a happy and heathly tribe, boy's or girls' so please dont think im selfish by asking this question. Like ive said at the beginning its just my curiosity.

Im one of two sisters so i havent a clue what it would be like to have a brother. I love spending time with my sisters though, we used to and still do have a ball when together.

I have two older bothers both of whom were fierce protectors of me growing up. Needless to say I don't speak to one of them now and hardly speak to the other. I would have dearly loved to have had a sister.

No matter which sex you end up with they are all going to have their moments ;)

Love

I had an older brother, so we were one of each. We didn't get along growing up, but we became very good mates from 17 onwards...

I have friends who are guys who have a better idea of girls because of growing up with sisters and vice versa, girls who understand guys better because of having brothers.

Yeah i agree with you there Kathryn. I think what really concerns me is that DH cant stand his older sister so id hate for that to happen in our family. I know im kidding my self to think eveything will be peachy all the time. But still, i like them to be good friends and to look out for each other.
All this talk about siblings is just enforcing the fact that i do want another, lol. Crazy hey.

Christy thats an interesting way to look at it. You work out the opposite sex before you really have to Lol.

I think that personality makes more of a difference... I have 2 brothers and never wanted a sister, but I'm not really a "girly girl" IYKWIM.

I was thinking about the same thing this morning as unless we try for another after this one Alex will be the only boy. But I'm sure with them all being close in age they should all get along. I can already see Alex being dressed in girl clothes and have make up stuck on him when they all get older.

It depends on what you want to do after you have the next one will you be prepaired to take the risk and try for another so you have 4 kids and hopefully two of each.

I have a older brother and it was only the two of us till my dad re-married someone with 3 kids already. I never talk to my older brother and haven't done for years. I am closer to my step sister but i am in contact with one of my step brothers from time to time it's hard with him being in the Navy.

With my three, they all get along really well, but they are only little still, so it is hard to know what things will be like in their teen years. Lindsay did say the other day that he would like another brother because the girls annoy him sometimes and they can't play trains like a boy could. I have often wondered though that if we did have another boy, would they be close anyway because of the age gap there would be.

I have three younger brothers and a sister, but I am not close to any of them really, we talk, but we are not close IYKWIM? Mainly because of their lifestyle choices, but my youngest brother is only 11 and I was out of home by the time he was two. There is also 8 years between me and my sister so I think that stopped us from being close, but now she is pg, she is looking to me for advice because Mum gave birth in the dark ages according to her, so I think that will bring us a bit closer.

I am lucky enough to have both, a sister who's 1year & 1month older, and a bro who is 3 years older. My sister and i were very close growing up, but i didnt have much to do with my brother until now. I can talk to both of them about absolutely anything. Probably closer to my bro now, I adore them both to bits.

Silly me! I just realised I didn't even answer your question.

No I don't think they need a brother or a sister, but it is nice I suppose for them to have a sibling that knows roughly exactly what they are going through in terms of puberty, relationships etc, because they go through it all in different ways, but I think so long as you can encourage a good relationship with them regardless of gender, then they will always have someone to turn to IYKWIM?

I have two of each. Two sisters and two brothers. I hardly talk to one sister (her choice) and the same with one brother (My choice). I get along well with my older sister and the youngest of my older brothers. The oldest brother, well, lets just say I am less than civil with him most of the time....
I don't think the sex of a sibbling really matters. Girls enjoy playing together and boy do too. And when they're young, boys and girls play well together. As they get older they go thru awkward stages and become estranged and such, but as they grow up (20's and settling down etc)they often grow together again.
I think it depends more on individual personality. There are always going to be clashes and the sex of the child doesn't determine this. What I am trying to say (and not very well I must admitt) is it's kinda six of one and half a dozen of the other! *LOL* I think ur children will be happy no matter what the sex of the next bub is! Goodluck!

Michelle, 3 is the max. Im getting to old for all this baby makeing, Lol. I just think i probably could gender sway because when af is around i know when i 'o'. Not full proof i know but still.
Ellyboo, interesting you get on better with your brother and not your sister who is more your age.

I dont know. They get used to whatever hey. I dont know that if i had another girl that the girls would be close anyway because of the age difference. Claire would probably be close to going to school so probably wouldnt really notice her little sister where as if jay got a baby brother they would bond more because their closer age wise, kwim. hhhmmmmm never thought of that actually. Missy would be more into her new friends i reackon, not a newborn.
What do you think.

It would depend on her personality as to whether she is interested or not. Some little girls are real little mums and others can take it or leave it IYKWIM?

Kerrie, yeah i understand where your coming from. Just take what comes because it will all work out in the end. Thanks

Sherie, claire is a little mother already, she mothers other kids like nothing. You should see her with Fiona's boys. Evan in particular who mind you is older. When out shopping she's 'evan dont touch that, evan come over here, evan, evan evan.' Must drive Fiona nuts lol. She trys to mother jay, she always shushing him and saying 'hang on im coming'. lol im like 'hey im the mum'. Shes a sweety.

I suppose im not going to please one over the other because we are only going one more time. But was just curious to see who needed the same sex more.

Kerrie i'm the eldest of 4 - with two brothers and one sister. I love having both brothers and a sister. We do go in stages who we are the closest to. For instance i used to be exceptionally close to my sister but now i'm prob closer to my bro's. I think it is nice for a girl to have a sister cause when they get to the stage of having babies it's really special.

I really think it comes down to personality. But I have also seen how parenting can play a role too. I've seen disasters stem from competitiveness encouraged by parents, or favoratism for the happy content calm child vs the energetic strong willed child. I think we still need to watch out how we teach our children to interact, how to deal with their problems, to teach tolerence of each other and especially love regardless of how we irritate each other or how different we are. I know its not the be all end all but it does make a difference from what I've seen in some families. And thats not to say if the kids don't get along I'm blaming the parents :p

ETA: On the gender issue I don't think it really matters at all :)

*hugs*
Cailin

It's was just me & my bro, and he was 5 years older than me, so we had little to do with each other until we were older.. then of course he married his wife (don't get me started LOL) .. and we have hardly anything to do with each other now. Just the odd phonecall.

It didn't worry me not having a sister.. occassionally I would look at friends who are sisters and wish I had someone to do things with (my wardrobe would probably be a lot more stylish than it is! hehehe) but I was happy with my older bro (and his friends! LOL). In fact I have more contact with some of his old mates than he does now!

I agree, it's probably more a personality thing, and your son can always do blokey things with his dad anyway :) He'll be quite a catch when he's grown up with his inside knowledge of living with women! hehe.

I am middle of 3 girls, never had a brother but have many male cousns & we are all super close..
We grew up in a court with almost all boys so we had plenty of males around us.
It never bothered me or worried us that we didnt have a brother.. Not til 18-23ish ,where it would have been handy to know how boys think!!!

But No, we didnt miss out for not having brothers!!!

Firefly, It is funny how i feel closer to my bro, probably because i get to see him more than my sister lately, and he is a very positive, happy person. He has also done alot of things in his life, that i really look up to and admire.

I would think you could never plan for that kind of thing. It's like having a second ONLY because you want the other one not to be lonely. Three families i know did that and the siblings hated and still do hate each other.
As for me I had one of each, and you know what , I would say now I'd keep them, but I'd love an older brother and/or sister (Im the oldest). Are we EVER happy!!!! xoxoxo

I have 3 brothers and 1 sister. Growing up, I felt I "needed" my brothers, because I adored them. As an adult, this feeling has grown, I still "need" them and crave their company, but I only "need" my sister very occasionally.

But like the others have said, that MAY be a personality thing rather than a gender issue?

I'm another one who doesn't think it really matters. I was closer to one of my brothers in particular but I think that was due to the fact the I was closest to him in age and he still lived at home when I was growing up. And I'm sure we still would be because we had that bond but he's married to a heinous b!tch so I don't see or hear from him.

However I think if you're going to have only 3 then maybe just let nature take it's course. I mean if everyone said that boys need brothers and girls need sisters you're not going to have 4 children and sway each time are you? And if you can only sway once which would you choose? Best left to nature me thinks, but of course that is only my opinion :)

Good luck with whatever you decide.

I am second oldest in a family of 3 girls and the youngest is a boy. The youngest 2 (girl then boy) are only 16 months apart & have been best friends forever. They go out to clubs & parties together now at 22 & almost 21. My older sister doesn't really get along with any of us!

My brother has never mentioned wanting a brother himself that I know of. He had great fun growing up - wearing tutus and playing with dolls. He loved having his nails done although when he got to school age it was only his toenails ;) I remember him & my sister always swapping their swimmers too for some reason LOL!

And as for being in a house full of women, my brother is far from being feminine! He works on his car constantly and is definately a blokey bloke. Although he is very sensitive as well which may just be his personality or could have come from being around us all the time.

Lol Fletch, was wondering when youd pop your head in. Totally know where your coming from though, all of you for that matter.
We just want whats best for our kids so if that meant gender swaying id certainly give it damn good go. There are so many sides to the coin though. Not every case is the same.
Im babbling sorry. Not all siblings get on is what im trying to say so there would be no guarantee that id get peace and harmony if i chose the perfect sex. Whatever that happens to be.

Thanks again, ive enjoyed reading all about your growing up experiences. Ill just let nature takes it course i think. And give lots of love and support and teach them to be nice, lol.

I don't know what they need, but I have one of each. My bro (with 2 sisters) is the most balanced guy. He's not embarassed to go anywhere or buy anything and can talk about everything without getting embarrassed. I'm close to both.
While it's nice, it's what nature intends.

I have an older brother & 2 younger sisters. I have been closer to different one at different times - I guess it just depends on who is in a similar stage of their life.

My sisters & I have agreed we like having 2 sisters because you are always annoyed with 1 and then you can b*tch to the other - works out well for us :)

DH is 1` of 5 kids and has 2 brothers & 2 sisters, from observing them I have noticed that the sisters are reasonably close now (but weren't growing up) and the brothers are close when they see each other but they also don't think its odd to go several months with out ringing each other.

I guess in the end you get used to what you have.