Doctor rant

Hey there,

Does/has anyone felt insulted by the way doctors treat every pre 12 week pregnancy as unimportant until it gets to that safe point? I have experienced it with my last 2 kids but forgot what it was like until this time. It's almost like they don't want to waste recourses and time on a pregnancy that might not make it.

I had this experience over the last week.....I found out by accident I was pregnant through some blood tests, I have both pcos and 3 endometriosis surgeries in the past three years, so it was a real miracle :)

I had severe pain, so of course got an u/s to rule out an ectopic. As I've mentioned in an earlier thread, they found no baby YET (there will be one :) ) but they did find a mass on my ovary which is either an endometrioma or brenner tumor, that actually had ruptured and I have free fluid in the POD as well as the mass still being there. I felt it rupture before i found out i was pregnant, but thought it was just way worse than usual endo pain due to my AF being due. The sonographer told me I would be sent for another in a couple of weeks for sure because of the mass and free fluid and also to see a viable baby.

My doctor rings me with the results, explains it to me. I said 'when should I get my next scan?' He said there's no point!! I asked why, and he said unless he suspects there is a missed abortion, there's no point because seeing the little baby might just get my hopes up and he doesn't want me to be optimistic yet. I read the results when I received them in the mail, he DIDN'T explain about the mass, he just said there's something there but they don't know what it is and it won't be a problem, I asked the possibility of it rupturing and he said no. The doctor's report from the scan suggested follow up scans over the next month to monitor it and also suggests that it has already ruptured. I know it ruptured because it's happened before to me 2 years ago and that was exactly what it felt like (except the first time I got very sick with perionitis).

All I get is that there is a high possibility of miscarriage (he didn't say why) and that only after one happens that I will get a scan.

So I'm supposed to sit here for the next 6 weeks worrying about if there even is a baby there, if this mass thing is growing or still bleeding, and only at 12 weeks maybe they'll check into it more! And I"m worried I"ll trot along at 12 weeks and that the baby wasn't even there or maybe died when all this stuff happened and all that time I would be building my hopes.

I've had bleeding every morning for a week now and I'm thinking of going back this week. I didn't have this before and it doesn't seem normal, also my stomach is bloated right right up and is getting bigger everyday, this also worries me that I'm filling up with blood like what happened when the cyst ruptured 2 years ago. And the pain is excrutiating at times. He can't just tell me to sit here and wait things out, surely.:crying:

I'm very sorry I need a rant, we aren't telling anyone for obvious reasons and I can't talk to anyone about it. My partner is 100% supportive but absolutely won't hear of that things might go wrong, tells me not to worry as soon as I talk about it.

Tara, I would possibly see another doctor? I was having problems with my doctor and finally after missing the boat to get NT scan done I have switched doctors to on who is so much nicer and understanding and took the time to explain something if I didn't get it. Don't just sit and wait, you know your own body and if you have concerns don't ignore them. Good luck :hug: and I hope everything is ok for you.

Tara, I would certainly be finding another Dr. There is no reason you should have to wait that long for another ultrasound, and the problems you're having don't sound like anything anyone should just have to endure. You must be out of your mind with worry, you poor thing! I am very lucky to have a wonderful, caring, sympathetic Ob, I really hope you can find one! Or maybe your GP can help if they are any good? Sing out if you need a hand finding someone, one the girls on here will be albe to help you, I'm sure.

Big :hug: for you.

I agree with the others - sounds like its time to dr shop!
Some drs can be brilliant for general health care, and crap at antenatal care, and you need to find someone who can help you on both fronts.
There is no need to do your head in over this - a dr should be able to assist you in every way possible. You are after all - paying THEIR salary!

I agree darl. Get a second opinion. I have had to do that with drs before and I have proven to be right, and they were very wrong!!

Good luck sweetie, hope it all works out.

Thanks so much for your replies and thoughts, and you have said what I've been thinking...it's time to move on.

I must clarify, this is a GP not an ob. I haven't been referred to an OB, my GP says there's no point until the 12 week mark, but I'm concerned that he doesn't know enough about gynae or ob problems. We he diagnosed me with PCOS it was me that suggested that that's what it may be and he ran the tests and only read about it whilst I was in the office, and hadn't really heard about it before. When the test results came back he knew enough about PCOS to diagnose that it was exactly that from the hormone levels and the cysts everywhere. He said to me at that point, now you know as much as I do about it.

The nearest OB is a couple of hours away in a large city and apparently it's very difficult to get into them, especially if I have a GP reluctantly referring me I suppose.

So I"m thinking that this week I may see a different GP in the same surgery instead and get a second opinion.

My current GP has been with me through a lot which is why up till this point I had full trust in him. He got me help I needed when I was leaving a long term DV marriage a couple of years ago and I guess was the only one I wasn't afraid to tell about what was going on. He's been great in that area, but this has shown me otherwise with OB problems.

I am assuming that it's not unreasonable to expect to be referred to an OB with these problems, even if I am only 6 weeks pregnant (according to the recent scan)?

With your history you should and could be referred to an OB now if you want to see one and he would see you immediately.

I would be going down this path if you can. Doesn't mean you have to stay with the OB all the way through to the birth but it will mean you will get the attention and information you need now, with everything so up in the air.

Once you know what your dealing with there's no reason why you can't go back under the care of a GP (preferably a different one to the one your seeing now!)

Good luck with it all.

I havent actually had an experience like this... but I think it may be time for a new doctor. Your doctor sounds like he is not genuinely listening to your worries and concerns.. and you need to be comfortable with your doctor and know that you can talk to them and that they'll actually give you information...
I hope you can find a better doctor soon.

If you go and ask your gp for a referral, they are not meant to be able to refuse you the letter. (thi si found out by a nurse at our hospital).
Please dont sit back and let him treat you like this, as if you are bleeding etc intoyour abdomen still, and develope and infection again, it could be your baby's life that you jeperdise. You have every right no matter how far along you are in pregnancy, to receive the treatment you need. Afterall, your doctor may not think a first trimester pregnancy matters, but every first trimester pregnancy, has the chance of becomming a newborn baby.

That is so unfair for you. I would definately be finding another OB. Wishing you well.

If you are really worried about the bleeding and if everything is okay i would go to the hospital to be checked out. When you got to A&E you will get to see a OB and they will do a quick scan and also refer you for another scan to have a better look. I think this is the best way to go if you think you are not getting the right support from your GP.

Tara, definitely get a referral to an obstetrician and/or gynaecologist. It sounds like you need to be under the care of a specialist. Good luck.

Thanks so much everyone for your advice and replies, before this I just thought I was overreacting and being paranoid about the baby.

Things went downhill very fast yesterday, my partner has gone away with the car, and the nearest a & E to me is an hour and a half away. I bloated up really large and the pain was very bad under my ribs as well as down there and I was so dizzy I could hardly see. I thought for sure that this time another rupture had happened and I was going into shock like what happened 2 years ago, but I have no family, noone to watch my young kids and getting an ambulance was just not a possibility (what would have I done with the kids?) I don't know anyone well enough in the area to trust them with my kids and all my family lives in another state.

So I prayed and paced for three hours. It eventually settled down to the point I could sit down and bend my body and late last night the bloating started receeding. I think it was another large bleed as Im very sore inside everywhere today, like I'm all bruised in there.

I'm going along to my GP this morning and depending on that if I can't get a referral from him to an OB I am going to go to a completely different surgery and see another doctor. I got the name of a great OB in the area from another parent at the school that's pregnant (the only one I've told knowing she's had experience with it) and she really recommended this person and told me of another really good local GP to go to.

So that side of things is looking up. I've lived here for 2 years, but due to my previous marriage I have a lot of problems with socializing with anyone...I've now realized what a bad thing that is when you have no family in the area and have problems like this.

Thankyou so much for all your advice and basically validation of my feelings, I would feel crazy by now if I hadn't read your replies.

Hopefully there will be better news to tell this week.

Awwwww Tara, I really hope things improve very soon for you. Remember there is always someone here for you :hugs:

Tara, I hope it goes well for you today. Let us know what happens :hug: By the way, don't be afraid to put your foot down with your doctor if need be...or do what I did...just didn't go back after speaking to different people about my concerns. Just remember, your body, your baby, your rights!!

Hey Tara,

I know how u feel:( With my last m/c my doctor was so not interested in my concerns he just brushed me to the side.

So next time i get pg im going to a doc that my friend has referred me to, he is so much more considerate.

What the doc's need to do is become more aware that women know how they feel about their own bodies, and we know what our bodies can take and what we feel is real and should be taken seriously.

Hope everything works out for u :) (hugs)

malimum:)

There are some great GPs out there that should be able to provide a really good service for antenatal care - they are just few and far between.
Please shop around if you dont have any luck with your next options.

Thankyou so much for allowing me to vent here and your replies, it's really helping especially when I'm in this place and really can't talk to anybody about it. I'm terrified that if i tell anyone that my kids will find out, and I desperately don't want them to yet, in case as they have been asking me a lot lately about having a baby.

Update:

I went to see the GP....he told me I am miscarrying! He's basing this on that the brown watery stuff turned to browny clots.

WELL, I said to him that i'm not, that I know this isn't happening. He went on a speel about plants having too many seeds, and animals laying extra eggs, that everything including humans is supposed to not have every pregnancy viable. Everytime I said to him, it's not certain yet, he would tell me that it is, to expect that it is. He cut me off so many times when I was talking about options with the tumor thing now, saying 'but you are most likely miscarrying'. Then went on about I'll most likely be still able to have more babies with treatment, blah blah....I'M STILL PREGNANT!

I am going for another scan on Wednesday which is exactly a week since my last. I told him that that was important to me, especially now since he told me I am miscarrying.

I survived in the office until walking out he said 'i'm sorry that last time you were here that I gave you such good news (pregnancy) and now I am giving you such bad news' and I said "It's not bad news yet!" He said part of me moving on is accepting that it is!! Then I started bawling.

I don't see how he can just say that. He was saying that it is almost 100% that that is what's happening. HE's saying he wasn't trying to be cruel, but I'm going to fall hard if I don't accept it.....well, regardless of that or not, if it happens I'm going to fall hard.

It's not red, it's brown/pink clots and clumps of mucus (sorry if TMI).

I'm sorry, he was just doing his job, but this is not going to happen to me. I earned this, I finally am with someone who is wonderful, I can experience a pregnancy without a violent husband, I have never ever enjoyed being pregnant because of the violence it provoked before. Now I have so much work to get my children and me back to normal and so much better, for some reason I was given another chance at fertility and doing this the right and happy way and nothing will take this baby away now.

My apologies for the rant, I just am so upset right now.

This baby is still there, I can feel it :)

I hope everything is still OK at your scan on Wednesday. Like the dr said - you could be miscarrying, but that totally does not excuse his deplorable behaviour. How disgusting for him to behave like that!
If you can still feel that things are OK, thats great. Cling to that cause your little bubba needs all the positive vibes it can get right now!

hi Tara,

What anterrible dr. I really do hope that everything goes gr8 for you. It sounds like you have had a rough time. It's good to see you stand up to him, especially when he was being rude and inconsiderate man.

My thoughts r with you:pray:for you that everything will b ok!!!

Take care.

bye
Malimum

Thankyou for your kind thoughts and support.

I don't think he was really that horrid, he was looking at it from a scientific point of view more than anything, and he's male and doesn't understand that even though this might have been not a 'baby' in medical terms, it is a baby to me. Not an embryo or fertised egg. And he's probably seen heaps of this.

I asked him that if the vaginal bleeding is from the mass rupturing and bleeding and he said no, that the only place the blood is coming from is the uterus which is why he thinks I'm m/cing.

But everything I've read says that's one of the signs of a cyst rupture! So I'm thinking that that is what is going on for sure.

I'm just angry, probably unjustified, that he's suggesting I'm having a m/c. I guess I'm angry about that not at him, he's just being a medical professional.

Tara, good luck for tomorrow and I hope :crossfingers: that you see your baby. I don't think your anger is unjustified at all. I believe you are doing what anyone would do...the power of positive thinking unless you have an absolute reason or proof to believe IYKWIM? He may have been JUST doing his job, however, another part of their job is to LISTEN to you...the patient...and to address your concerns and what you are saying and without any absolute proof he can NOT tell you for sure that this is what is happening to you. You do know your body better than anyone else. Every person is different, every pregnancy is different and I truly hope and pray :pray: for you that your little bubby is hanging in there.