refusing certain midwife during labour?

Hiya,
Just wondering how many midwives are usually on duty per shift? I'm asking because I know at least one midwife who was too anti my birth preferences (letting cord pulse etc. etc.) to be an encouragement at all when I go into labour....and I was wondering if you are allowed to politely ask for another one who is more suited to your preferences?
I have written out my birth preferences and will obviously be showing them to the midwives when I arrive to birth bubs, so perhaps they go over it and send the most suitable one in?
Anyone have any experiences in this area to share?

Hi,

Of course you have the right to ask for someone that you feel comfortable with!
It's your birth.

I have never asked for someone different but when I was a student midwife, there was one midwife who nobody liked. One day, I was allocated her and she was really mean to the woman and her family, who were in birthing their forth baby. After a while, it was apparent that the midwife and the woman were not getting on and she asked for someone different. The midwife was upset that she had been asked to go (she was a senior core staff member in delivery suite) but it was just too bad, the woman (who was experienced and knew her stuff) was not going to put up with that kind of treatment at her birth! I was very happy to see her stand up for what she believed in!

I have done that already for similar reasons. I have asked that a midwife not be in the birthing suite and they have made a note of it on my file.

I will definitely be requesting not to have a certain midwife if she is on duty while I am in labour. For all i know she may not even work there anymore anyway LOL, as she was my midwife 2.5yrs ago with Lach's birth

Love

Groovy. That's good to know :)
Thanks ladies!

I wont be mucking around this time either.....If there is a midwife or nurse that I dont feel is treating me well, they will be gettin the boot heheheheh....I had such a sarcastic B!tch with DS, and I just bit my tongue, next time watch out !!!!!! We are Their clients, they are not ours.....Sorry, A bit hormonal today LOL!!

When I went in for my induction (11days post term) I was devastated to see the only midwife in the whole hospital that I couldn't stand come out to collect me. I nearly died.
I tried to smile and relax, but she could see that I wasn't relaxing, so she tried to relax me even more, and I just ended up getting so uptight.
She went out of the room for 10mins to chat with someone, and while she was gone I told Mum and Shane the problem. When she came back in Mum excused herself and went to ask for the head midwife. She explained the problem, and within 10mins I had a different midwife.
There were no issues or porblems with my request. The head midwife (who had taken over) was completely understanding and was lvoely about it.
So - if they can swap a midwife who is just going to stick a dose of gel up your hoohoo, I'm sure you will haev no problems changing them for the actual labour.

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When I went in for my induction (11days post term) I was devastated to see the only midwife in the whole hospital that I couldn't stand come out to collect me. I nearly died.

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Oh Fi, that would be my worst nightmare, I can just imagine how you would have felt.!! You poor thing.....LMAO at the gel up your hoo hoo....

Yeah - she had been the midwife who say me accidentally at my 12w appt. She wasn't supposed to pick up my file and did, and chortled her way through the whole appt. When it came to the survey for PND etc, she answered all the questions without even waiting for me answers. She was an idiot and stuffed up all the paperwork.
Anyway, when she was trying to get me ready for my induction she ws chewing gum with an open mouth - totally revolting, and I just got more and more and more wound up - as anyone who is 11d over going in for an induction can testify to!
It was an awful experience, but like I say, they cahnged her over without any issues at all.

OMG thats terrible Fi....Sounds similar to one that i had with DS.... Where I was staying, the nurses had a list of topics that they had to go thru with the new mum, and discuss things, then sign each topic off....Well I noticed later in my hospital stay that she was signing the "checklist" off without even going thru some of the stuff with me... Not to mention other things but needless to say i was not impressed....

Hello, if only I'd known this, since the midwife who attended at DD's birth was hopeless, seemed to spend the entire time filling out her paperwork then later traumatised DD by her brutal attempts to force her to attach to BF. I politely refused her assistance after the first day but unlucky for me, she wrote this through my notes ("patient refusing help") and then *no-one* came to help me after that. Thanks for your thread, I will be better informed and more assertive next time!!

as a nurse, I can tell you, you have every right to ask for a different midwife to attend you and they HAVE to accomodate you if it is at all possible. Personality clashes happen and no-one takes it personally (well they don't if they are professional and grounded). Be sure to speak up hon as being tense will only make the labour harder to get thru for you.....Def speak to the sister in charge of which ever shift is on when you go in. And goodluck!

Hi
This is an interesting thread. When I was induced with DS (this is not somehting i would do again by choice ) I went into labour but for around 6 hours i was having contractions every 5 minutes that were pretty intense but I was not dialating at all 1cm after hour and hours of it. I had a midwife who was doing my head it with her sickly sweet "its ok darling honeybunch sweetheart etc etc on an on and I did not even want my DH near me ! She was certainly not rude or anything but she was not listening to what i was saying and just being so over the top sicklysweet. I was so glad when she left and I got an older lady in who was very straight down the ling "its going to hurt like hell, im going to be honest with you etc etc but I actually really appreciated her honesty. I had a great next 7 hours with her and by the time DS was finally born 30 or so hours later after coming in. The first Midwife was back... I needed someone like her then as she looked after me and helped me shower etc.. Its funny how you just seem to need certain types of people at differnt times.
Jane

Thats it Jane, I need a drill sargent in the birth suites, but a mum on the ward.

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as a nurse, I can tell you, you have every right to ask for a different midwife to attend you and they HAVE to accomodate you if it is at all possible. Personality clashes happen and no-one takes it personally (well they don't if they are professional and grounded). Be sure to speak up hon as being tense will only make the labour harder to get thru for you.....Def speak to the sister in charge of which ever shift is on when you go in. And goodluck!

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Exactly what I was going to say! You would be surprised how often it actually happens!

I had a midwife who freaked me out while I was pregnant because she seemed so incompetent and kept muddling up my paperwork and mixing me up with other patients. When one of my midwives went off duty and she came in I almost had a heart attack but she turned out to be a total star in the delivery suite. She was so understanding and empathetic and she came up to visit me in the ward the next day too.

This is a great thread - specially for us first timers. So thanks for starting it Choc.
A friend of mine who gave birth by emergency c-section at the hospital I'm going to was telling me that she had a nurse with a very heavy cold attending her baby the day after the birth. There were signs in the nurses station telling staff not to come in if they were sick but this nurse seems to have ignored it completely. Anyway my friend asked the nurse point blank if she had a cold and she denied it and proceeded to attend to the baby. My friend asked her not to get so close and the nurse got all huffy and became really sarcastic and rude in all her dealings with my friend from that point onwards. My friend was there for five days and she said it made the whole stay a less than nice experience.

Although the midwifes at Aidyns birth were 'ok' (except for one of them getting *****ty with DP because he used a blanket because he was cold!), I had a terrible experience with one on the ward.... I had her 2 days in a row... I remember nearly crying the 2nd day when she came in to say good morning... We just did not gel at all. Next time I will 100% definately be requesting that someone else is assigned to me if I do not like whom I have been given...

With my first child, i was barely 19, very naive and had a male midwife. At first i was very uncomfy with him, but he was really nice, and stuck up for me alot and explained things that by the time i had to have a shower (had an episiotomy and was still very out of it from pethadine) he came in with me, i didnt care about being naked...

With Declan, the midwife was great. DH had never seen a child born before, and didnt know how to support me, the midwife showed where to rub my back, told him when to give me a drink, just generally helped both of us.

The midwives in the Womens here in melbourne were very mixed. I was on the ward for weeks on and off, at one point i started bleeding quite heaviily in the shower so i buzzed for a midwife. Noone came. After 5 mins of bleeding i went back to my room and buzzed. Nothing (this is about 5am) After 10 mins in the room i went out to the area where she was meant to be, and she was asleep on the desk. Im crying by this time. I go back to my room and buz, and about 10 mins after that she rocks up, bleary eyed going "what do you want?" I tell her the prob, show her my pad (which i was on my second one since i got out of the shower) and she goes "Its nothing, go to sleep" and walks out. A week later i had my baby, it was the start of an infection which nearly killed my daughter. She didnt get the dr, and the dr didnt come in and see me that day. I was so angry... I ended up talking to consumer advocacy and they made a complaint against her on my behalf on the fact she was asleep!!

Sorry for the long post guys, i just needed to get that out...

Very interesting! I was just thinking about this the other day. I had one really terrible midwife who not only was flirting with my husband (not what you need anytime let alone during lobour!!!) she also joked when I was throwing up - "don't you like throwing up?" like it was strange that it was not a nice experience. Anyway, I majorly clashed with her and I told dh that if we see her next time the he's to organise another midwife. She was just no help whatsoever and just let me go for hours without talking to me or telling me what was going on. Everyone else was fantastic! Luckily the shifts changed and I had a great midwife who actually delivered Louis!

It makes me wonder whether I should contact the hospital before labour to let them know?? Or should I just let them know when I got in??

We're a horrible bunch aren't we ;) LOL

I reckon we're allowed to be fussy, its not like we're going out of our way to be b!tchy or mean, some people you just dont gewt along with. Hey, we're going thru the worst pain possible (that i have been through anyway!!) i think we're allowed to try and grab some control over SOMETHING!!

I know, i know!!! I was JOKING!!!! Hence the ';)' and the 'LOL'.

I will be a picky as hell whenever i get to have another baby!

LOL chelleg my great friend is a midwife & she said "God help the midwife who looks after her!" hehehe... she's going to be at the upcoming event with me so I told her I'd be on my best behaviour :)

Kristie, I would have slapped your midwife....How damn rude of her....I think some people need lessons in bedside manner, and how to make the client feel happy and comfortable.