Eggbert

To all of those wonderful women who have supported me from my BFP with Eggbert right through to helping me say Goodbye...

At 12.30 today my new obs - a wonderful woman phoned to tell me "you grew and birthed a baby girl". What a beautiful way to tell me. She also told me that Eggbert was chromosomally normal and "this is NOT an age or chromosome based problem".

I am crying new tears for Eggbert now because I know she was a she... Another little daughter that I didn't get to hold...

I now have 2 angel daughters and an angel son... And two other little ones that we will never know the sex of...

Sometimes it's so hard to believe that this has happened and that I didn't get to meet her, hold her and cuddle her... She has helped me find answers though. Answers that I hope will help us have another healthy baby sometimetime soon.

Thankyou all for your friendship and support. :hug:

Oh Deb,

I am crying new tears with you. You are such a brave and wonderful woman and I pray that you will soon hold a new healthy bub in your arms. Your ob worded it perfectly, and im sure your little angel girl will be with you always.

It must be really comforting knowing that there were no chromosonal problems and that there is light for you at the end of all this knowing you can birth a healthy baby again.

Take care of yourself and know that your angels are with you and probably resting in your lap right now.

Lots of luv and wishes for a new healthy pregnancy for you Deb
Lisa

Deb - the written word some how doesn't manage to convey what I want to say to you right now. Sometimes it is the action that says just the right thing, and that action would be to give you a hug, and share your tears.:hugs:

You have been truly blessed with your new OB - it was a beautiful, and thoughtful way to tell you the news.

Thank you for sharing your journey, your ability to voice how you feel has inspired others to do the same, and with every word spoken, and every tear shed it is a little step forward for anyone who has experienced pain and grief in whatever shape or form.

I agree Flowerchild. Your new Ob sounds like she truly understands. That's a gift.

I don't know what to say, except I'm thinking of you and your angel girl.

Many best hopes for you and your family.

Take care!

Deb,
I also read your post with eyes full of tears but also a smile, a smile that your OB obviously is a wonderful person & your lucky to have found her & she is lucky to have you.. I also smiled that Eggbert is a girl, how lovely the way your Ob informed you...

I wish you every success in the future!!!

Deb - what a gift your ob has and I am sorry you didn't get to hold your daughter in your arms :hug:
I hope the future holds much happiness in regards to another bubba very soon.

I'm so sorry for another loss for you, Deb :(
Your OB is doing a magnificent job.

:hug: Deb, I am so touched by everything you have had to endure, you truely are an inspiration, how you just get up and try again, i hope that this news has given you some closure and knowing that little eggbert was a baby girl, gives her an identity and knowing there were no chromosonal problems with her must be comforting.

Your new OB sounds just wonderful and im sure she is going to do magical things for sweety!:hug:

Thankyou all for your kind words. All of you are such gorgeous women - we are all fortunate to have each other to share part of ourselves with.

It does help in one way to know that Eggy was "chromosomally intact" however it is so frustrating not to have a NAME for this thing that has done this.
I just keep thinking this time next year I will hold a baby in my arms - I have to look to the future while always holding these Goodbye babies in my heart... :hug:

Deb,
Thinking of you as you discover that Eggy was a girl.
Hoping that your new OB holds the key, she sounds gentle and kind.

Deb - I think it is so lovely that your OB was able to tell that Eggbert was actually your little girl. I havent had an early loss so I dont know from experience, but I imagine it must be difficult to always wonder about such things, I know I was desperately curious from day 1. I understand what you mean by the frustration of having no answers, its hard to be told "its just one of those things". I hope you do have a healthy bub in your arms in the near future.

Take care, Mel :)

Yes, it can be difficult Mel.
My first mid tri loss (B0b) was at almost 16 weeks but our daughter had died about 10 days before so it wasn't possible to tell gender until the path reports came back. I had a D & C as she had passed away some time prior to the u/s.

My second loss I birthed and he was born after a long 14 hour labour and it was clear he was a little boy. At 14 1/2 weeks babies are too big to be taken by D & C but I was glad to have given birth to him.

Eggbert was my earliest mid tri loss at 13 1/2 weeks and I had to wait to find out as you know from path as I also had a D & C.

My two early losses of course I will never know as they were at around 5-6 weeks.
It does help to know that Eggbert was my daughter, and I do always wonder what sex my early losses were.

I have sadly found from experience that once the sex is known it does help to have a little closure.

Yes, I think that knowing the sex of the baby gives "it" more of an identify and probably allows you to embrace that child as a daughter or son.

Like you, I also feel glad that I was able to give birth to Nicholas. When I found out he had died my immediate reaction was that I wanted a caesar to get him out of me, for a while I flatly refused to go through labour - I don't know why I reacted that way, I think maybe I just wanted the whole nightmare to be over with. The midwives and OB explained to me why it was best to give birth naturally but I was absolutely terrified, I felt like they were trying to torture me or something. They convinced me to go through labour by telling me they would make it "pain-free", they lied! After 12hrs he arrived and looking back now (not that it was that long ago) I feel grateful they talked me into that, the one thing I could do for my precious baby was give birth to him.

Mel :)

:hugs: I understand...

Dear Deb


My heart really goes out to you and I am glad that you found out that gave birth to a darling little princess. You have had to endure so much and it is a credit to you as a person and a woman that even in your deepest moments of grief, you manage to give women like myself and Mel such wonderful advice. I have never really looked at giving birth to Harrison as a gift to him, but Mel you are right on girl, it is something that is a gift to our children. Thinking of you
:hugs:

I felt that giving birth to my March angel was all I could give him. It really made me feel empowered. It looks odd when I look at the words I havae just typed but it was truly empowering. I felt a sense of completion. It also helped to know then and there that I had birthed a son.
It was a lot harder with the two girls - I had a long 5-6 week wait to know...

What a wonderful woman your OB sounds. So sorry again for losing your little Eggy, another precious little girl looking down on you from above :hug:

Deb big hugs to you as you celebrate your little girl.

What a wonderful OB it seems you have found, & a lovely way for her to tell you about your daughter.

And birthing our precious babies to the world is the last gift we can give them, & they to us.

Bug hugs to you sweetie.

Oops - I guess I have to change my gender allocation as Eggbert was NEVER an *it* in my eyes.

You gave birth to a beautiful baby girl :hug:

P.S. Your OB is a sweetheart. I wonder who taught that lesson????

I wondered too MIchelle - I expect there is a sad story and a learning curve behind it...
I thought Eggy was a boy - until I knew *he* had died then I actually felt *he* was a *she*... :hug:

Deb,
I have tears welling now too! Your new OB does sound lovely to have worded things so personally and know how imprtant finding out the sex really is after a loss
We had chromosome analysis done for our second angel to discover she was a "genetically normal" little girl also. I remember crying a whole new set of tears after finding this out. It seemed to make the whole "loss" far more real and personal knowing that I was never going to know our little daughter. I think my DH may have thought it was a bad idea to discover the gender and stir up more emotions but I will be forever grateful that I know a little more about her despite never meeting or holding her.

It is great news for you that there are no genetic issues and I hope that, with all the accumulated information your angels have provided, a special little baby WILL enter your life next year, as planned.

Deb - I truely understand what you meant about "empowering". I also felt that I had to birth Luke as it was all there was left for me to do apart from love him in my heart.

Your OB sounds wonderful. I wish everyone was as fortunate to have someone like that.

As for your darling daughter. Well, you know how I feel (at least I hope you do) and so I will just give you a big hug (can you feel it) and know that I have cried for you and for her.

Take care,
your friend Debbie

You and your family are in our thoughts.

Deb, your new OB has a beautiful way with words! What a lovely way for her to tell you that you had a daughter. I have come across many a doctor who could take a lesson from her...

I hope this will help you find a little closure. I'll be thinking of you and little Eggy and wishing you many brighter days ahead. Here's to a fabulous 2007 for you and your beautiful family...

Love Bec x