Female or Male Midwife?

OK girls next year I intend to move away from the hospital system and become an independent midwife doing home births and providing antenatal and postnatal care. I have not yet decided where I am going to practice bit I am coming down to VIC in Feb for a look around. (I have never been there before). My only concern is that because I am a male I may not get enough clients to make this a viable option. So what I would like to know is this:

Would you consider employing an independent male midwife?

Would you prefer a female midwife?

What would influence your choice?

Any other comments would also be appreciated.

I've just put up a poll, votes are anonymous.

I'd like to say that since we know you here I think you would get more yes than no! I know I would have no problems hiring a male midwife, there are also male GP's doing homebirth and it's the same thing to me!

I think if you are able to offer great service, which I am sure you will, then you will have no problems, e.g. having a website with your picture, testimonials etc... I can help with that ;) I think if anything, if you can be more 'out there' and be seen, it will work well :)

I wish you all the best and I certainly hope we see you in the independent arena ;)

Also this year for the first time there were two male doulas at the Australian Doula Conference ;)

I don't care what gender the midwife is as long as they know what they are doing and have myself and baby's best interest at heart. Good luck Alan.

Alan - while I was in hospital with Gabby, I had a male midwife for a couple of his shifts and I can safely say that I preferred him. I was having trouble with my supply and he was SUCH a great help! He didn't try to milk me like a cow like some of the female midwives did. Instead he offered an ear to listen, some great advice, kind words and he helped me with the pumps and all the stuff that goes with them. I did hear him ask some of the female midwives if they could help out with a couple of his patients because they preferred to not have a male help them out. I felt sad for him... obviously he does the job because he enjoys it and is good at it. I guess that's the big dilemma of being a male in a "female" domain, hey?
I'd definitely consider hiring an independent male midwife if I got along well with him and offered a good service (like Kelly suggested).
I prefer having a male doctor too. I don't know why... I just feel more comfortable.
I'm secretly hoping that Hamilton Base Hospital has a male midwife there somewhere.... hehehe.

Alan,
I too would prefer a male midwife. I find most women midwives here are not the best to talk to, like they didnt have the time. I had a male midwife when i had DD and he was the most understanding midwife i have come across so far!
Goodluck and wishing you all the best....

I was actually discussing this the other day with a male friend who is a nurse and we were wondering how a male mid would be treated (he's trying to decide if he'll go into mid or not)... Personally, I don't give a codswaddle about the gender of people assisting me/looking after me but then I've always had more male friends than female and am also a nurse so maybe that alters my thinking a little. I know my DH on the other hand, might have an issue with me having a male mid or attendant for the birth - anything else he isn't fussed by.
my influences would be guided by the knowledge, skill set and interpersonal skills of the person and also how I feel with them. It's just as easy to feel uncomfortable with a female carer as a male....
I wish you all the best though Alan. I've always looked for responses from you in the threads and often thought "If only he were practicing here in Vic..." I hope this works out well for you!

MG

firstly alan congratulations on your decision.

i am a bit ashamed to admit this, however i remember during the birth of my first child, when i was in transition, my midwife went to lunch and i had a male midwife relieve, i had just had a shot of pethidene, thrown up everywhere and all in all i just wanted out, i heard different voices in the room (i tend to keep my eyes closed alot during labour lol) i opened my eyes and standing there was a male midwife - i cursed and said wtf what are you doing in here, do you enjoy seeing women in pain, at the time i just didn't care and i think my response would have been the same had i had a female midwife change over, it just all happened at the wrong time. he didn't stay in the labour ward with me i don't think as my midwife i originally had was back really quickly.

however a few days later he was on again and i apologised to him, he was great, it didn't seem to phase him and of course being a midwife, he knew that some women seem to just go to a way different place in transition - i know i certainly do, it is a crazy time for me. anyway the days i had him on the ward he was absolutely brilliant, he actually showed me and dh and helped us bath our baby for the first time and he was also wonderful in respect of feeding issues.

anyway i think it is great and i also think it can be a positive thing for the dp's/dh's to have a male midwife caring for the partner

good luck

In a heartbeat Alan for sure.

I had some very nasty nasty midwives during my short stay in hospital after I had Alexzander & they were all female. I got to see the one male midwife at my hospital just before we left, other than that I saw him to book in my induction which was actually scheduled for the day I was leaving. Anyway, he remembered me which was surprising as the others didn't. He said, see I told you that we wouldn't have to induce!

He was so gentle with Alexzander as he did the final checks on him before we went home. We had a female midwife trying to get the blood for the heel test & she was so rough, but Alan (yep another Alan!) took over & was really good with him. He asked me how b/f was going & told me something no others had said which made me feel so much better. I had had an emergency c/s after a 36hr labour & he told me he was not surprised my milk hadn't come in yet, that my body was probably still in shock. No-one else told me that & also that the c/s could delay the milk coming in anyway.

He was just so kind & sympathetic, such a beautiful soul. So if you're anything like him, you'll have no problems at all. BTW, looking at your avatar, you have a very kind face so I can imagine you would be fantastic :D

I don't think it would bother me, but then I don't even want female midwives around. I've had some rotters of female midwives, and haven't seen a male one at all - I'm sure you can't be worse than some of the ones I've had.

My main consideration for a midwife was how much they tried to tell me what to do during pregnancy - one who didn't tell me off for reading things or having a small bump would get employment, irrespective of gender!

It wouldn't be an issue for me.

Best wishes Alan with your new career! :)

Alan, I think it's an awesome decison & wish you tonnes of luck & success!
For me I dont care who is there when I am in labour, infact if I was on the middle of the MCG on Grand Final Day & they were zooming me up on the big screen I'd not care!!!

I have asked my aunty to come to this birth as she has only sons & her DIL's are snobs & wont have her there for any birth's... I am happy for whoever wants to come!!!

Yes hand goes up i also have had awful experiences with midwifes, i dont think it matters if the midwife is male or female just that she cares and is supportive!!!

When I have a choice I usually prefer a female care provider. For me it's a relgious issue not one of thinking that a woman is nessescarily a better midwife. That said I would prefer a competent male midwife over an incompetant female one.

Alan - I had a male midwife in portland - he was wonderful!!! couldn't ask for any better

Alan, is private midwifery a business that relies alot on word-of-mouth to generate a client base? If so you should have no problems finding clients - you'll probably be beating them away with a stick lol.

I voted I don't think I would have a problem with it.

I hired a male Ob, and had no problems with him seeing everything! LOL. So it wouldn't be a modesty thing.

Also, when I was really sick in hospital once, I had male nurse looking after me through the night and "cleaning" me up, and he was just soooo nice and professional, I had no problem with anything.

However... having said that.. I'm not sure I would deliberately hire a male midwife iykwim? I'd have no problems with a male midwife being on duty at the hospital etc.. but it's different when actually hiring one. Altho - now that I've actually thought about it, if I were to hire any midwife, I'd be wanting recommendations... and should he be highly recommended.. then no problemo! LOL.

Gosh - you've just seen the inner workings of my mind. How confusing huh! LOL.

Alan - can't you come to NSW instead? ;) Western sydney in particular? LOL.

Hi, I really think it depends on the attitude of the person, for me male or female if they are not friendly and caring i dont want to know. I need to feel comfortable sharing an important journey with that person.
I once went to a baby shop/boutique and there was a man standing at the counter, he said nothing and ignored me and i felt really uncomfortable in there so i didnt ask about products or prices and i felt that he wouldnt know the best brand of highchair...or even care. I left quickly and never went there again. They moved shops and i accidently went in thinking it was a new shop but the man was there again and the same uncomfortable feeling was there. The shop closed down so i guess i wasnt the only one who felt that way.
My Gyno is a man and he is the most caring and nice person and i feel totally comfortable talking to him about anything.

Interesting topic. I would have chosen a male midwife if he was offering the care I wanted namely 1-2-1 care, home birth. Gender not important.

I am an IM in Victoria Alan, where would you set up? City /rural?
Would you be interested in acting as 2nd M/W back-up?
I am finding getting numbers difficult to make it my full time career but it is steadiy growing.
PM for any info or just to chat.

Yes Liz I agree, move to NSW Alan :)

I had both a male and a female midwife when I was in labour with Lachlan. I found them both to be very different. I had my female midwife the whole pregnancy, so I loved her to bits. But the male midwife could give things that the female couldnt. I find male midwives more sympathetic, they give you a good kick up the butt when you need it. I think if your a fabulous midwife, it really doesnt matter your sex!! I'm sure you have seen all our 'bits' before!! I think my husband would love a male midwife too, someone to relate to.

I think it's a fantastic decision, Alan - Victoria is currently in the process of deciding whether she wants to try out independent practice again, after another year of unsatisfactory experiences in the hospital system, especially now that we have family and friends close-by and our main issue (childcare when Victoria is called to a birth and I am at work) is largely mitigated.

As a male, I would have no qualms about my wife being cared for by a male who I trusted - trust is more important to me. I think Victoria might have some reservations, but as has been said, IPM relies on word of mouth and recommendations as much as advertising. Heck, given the small amount of choice available, especially in rural areas, I'd say you'd have little problem getting business just by dint of being the only choice! :D

Alan, as you know I would have had you in a second!!! I think I personally would look for personality & support in a midwife over anything else. Yes experience does come to play of course, but if I had my pick than trust would be the strongest issue.

Would you consider employing an independent male midwife? Absolutely

Would you prefer a female midwife? Nope, gender doesn't matter at all.

What would influence your choice? Support & personality, trusting the individual to have you & your babies best interests at heart.

Any other comments would also be appreciated I too have had issues with midwives in hospital & I think the one who is present for the birth is the one that is the most important as far as support goes. If you are having a home birth, they are your only contact... some women may feel awkward discussing all about their bits with men, but personally I would feel more free to because I often felt disregarded in hospital by the midwives there.... when I asked about caring for my second degree tear I felt highly embarrased... when there was no reason to be.

I think a male midwife would be fabulous, I would have no problem with a male midwife whatsoever.

Alan - im sure you'd get alot of business down here. Ive had both and I so much more preferred the male. He was more caring to my needs and helped me through a terrible labour only to have a c/s out come. I only wished he was there with my 2nd and 3rd.
All the best of luck with your new career path (not that you'll need it)

I had a male midwife with the birth of my first child, and he was brilliant!! with the birth of my next 2 children, i had females, and the dupport i got from them was great, but nothing bet Frank :)

I would have no hesitations about having a male midwife. It was a little unnerving at first, but the support was second to none. Good luck with the private practise!!

I would have a male midwife in a heartbeat. I think its an awesome idea. Like sarah H I also had some really nasty midwifes in hospital with Gem and Jasmine, all female. I had one male midwife with gemma and he was wonderful. He had a sense of humour and was so caring.

Go for it I say!

i got to say men that go into this profession are a breed of men that you would want around in the situation of birthing your baby there is a compassion as they have never felt what it is like ( i had one midwife tell me that i was making it hard on myself then starting comparing her birth to mine - to say the least i was not happy i also had a male midwife for part of my first labour and i could not fault him at all i actually felt more at ease being talked through some of the rough areas with him over some of the female miwives so yeah thumbs up here

I would quite happily have a male midwife. Of course a lot of the choice of midwife would be how well I got on with them.

We have male Ob-Gyns, GPs, nurses, etc why not a male midwife.

Good luck with it all Alan - I know that you'll get lots of work, the girls here will give you amazing references & talk about you to all their friends.

Damn shame you won't be in Qld when I fall pregnant :(

Schaz

I am yet to give birth, so I can't speak from experience, but as a first-timer I can say that I would have no issues with it whatsoever!

Like some of the others, I think I sometimes feel more comfortable with a male HCP. My Ob is male, my GP is male, and that's the way I like it! No probs with having a male midwife at all.

Good luck Alan, wherever you decide to practice. I'm sure you will be successful!

Would you consider employing an independent male midwife?
Yes I would consider a male midwife the same as a female midwife. A choice would not be made on their sex/age/anything else, but how they suited me and my birthing needs.

Would you prefer a female midwife?
Initially and honestly I would probably say yes, but initial impression and final decision are two very different things, and I really don't think male or femaleness would affect my end decision. For example when trying out new doctors in new towns, I initially visit female doctors, but almost always end up choosing a male doctor as our family doctor....just one of my personal biases.

What would influence your choice?
How the midwife could meet my needs; how we related to each other; similarities in life philosophies; competency; employment history; location; post-birth care

Any other comments would also be appreciated.
I HTH...I'm not around much so haven't got to know you at all......but I think its fantastic that you are considereing private midwifery and I wish you all the best in finding your way in this new career path!

I work with a male midwife who is also an independant midwife. He is VERY popular. He is an excellent midwife and his clinics are always full.
All the best.
Cheers
Judy

Given the choice between two equally qualified, caring, experienced midwives, one male and one female, I'd probably choose the female, but that being said, I would have no issues with a male midwife, if he was the best. :D
Best of luck with your independent practice!

Just wanted to add - if you're going to be moving anyways - why not come to Canada? :D Here in Ontario, our provincial health insurance covers private midwives and home births, and they are becoming very popular. It is VERY difficult to get a midwife here.
All the best!

Ladies thank you all for your comments. I did not expect to get such a fantastic response. I really wish that I could be at all your births and give you the experience that you all want and deserve. Who knows, perhaps I will become a travelling independent midwife. After all I have been travelling around Australia for the past 15 years working in the hospital system.

Theresa
No special reason for leaving Qld. It’s just that I have never been to Vic. I have not yet decided here to set up yet.

Dachlostar
I understand that your religion can play a big part in this and I do respect that. Thank you for your comments.

Liz
I am now confused LOL

BirthConnection
I have not yet decided where to set up. I am coming down to Vic in Feb for a look around. Yes I would be happy to work as 2nd M/W. Thanks for the offer of a chat. I will contact you in the next few days. (I’m on nights from 20/12)

Schmickeres
Thanks for your comment. I have had some problems with the husbands. !!!! You need to see my wife’s @#*#$. I don’t know if I want you to look there!!!!!!


Christy
Thank you

Maz
Thank you so much for your comment

Shazz
I do not permit support persons in labour ward to talk about their births or births of their friends, usually they only talk about the bad things. I would be disgusted if another midwife started talking about her own birth.

Mama of 2
Thanks for your honest comments. If I were to leave Australia I think that Canada would be my first choice.

Alan I would have no problem with my midwife being male - hey my GP/OBGYN is! I have had female midwives for all of my births because that's just who was on at the time. During Zachary's birth I had 2 trainee midwives in the room with us and one of them was male. Good luck in your independant ventures!

Alan, I would have absolutely no problems in hiring a male IM, well unless my own IM was available. She'd kill me if I had another baby and she wasn't there. Hey Michael ;)

I find male nurses and Midwives (or mishusband ;)) to be very compassionate men. Although that could be just the experience I had with both. I had a male midwife when I was in hosp for my c section with Noah. He was great, actually looks alot like you. Have you ever worked in Blacktown hospital ??

Also when I had a PPH 2 weeks after my 12 year olds birth I had a male nurse with me in the ER. He organised to breast pump (which I never got to use, was loosing too much) But he stayed with me and held my hand right into theatre. This was a very scary time for me and he was so comforting.

So my answer once again is a definant yes to your questions. Word of mouth is a great thing. I wish you every bit of luck and success in your new venture. I'm sure you will do fantastic.

I would have no problem with a male midwife for labour and birth, I mean we have male OBs. And I know when I am in labour I couldn't care less who sees my bits. I will admit though that I don't know if I would like a male mid to help me with breastfeeding.

Hi Alan, I have always prefered to see female dr's but after having my first child I found that many of my midwives didn't have children of their own and alot were trainees or temp staff and didn't know what they were talking about. I really hated it when they would say "It gets better"or I know how you feel" and then later I ask them about their children and they say they don't have any. I'm left thinking, well how would you know how I feel. LOL, having said all that, I think that I would now prefer to have an experienced male midwife than a trainee or temp staff female one who doesn't know what they are doing. I also think that my hubby would also work better with a male midwife as he found some of the female ones we had very condesending and that they treated him like an idiot that couldn't even hold a baby even though it was his 2nd. I wish you all the very best with your career move. I think by doing home births and visits you'll definately appeal to alot of first time dads who have toruble relating to alot of the medical terminolgy too and it will put them more at ease. Sometimes it's hard for first time dads to be the only male in the room. Best Wishes and Good Luck

Like many of the others, I think its more about the person than the gender.
I have had pretty much great experiences with most of my midwives anyway, but thats becasue of the type of care I've been in (FBU).
There is a male midwife at my hospital though, and I've heard nothing but great things about him.
Good luck.

I answered "I am unsure" as this is my first pregnancy and I have no idea what I'm doing. Would DP be happier with a bloke? He doesn't know - I know he likes the ob/gyn who's a bloke.

Butafter I have experiences with midwives, I guess I'll have a better informed opinion :D