Should I try IVF?????

Hi Everyone,

Just need some advice from all those going through IVF at the moment please. I am really confused and scared, so here is my brief history.

We have been TTC since Feb 05, so coming up to 2 years. I fell pregnant after 10.5 months with the help of a naturopath, unfortunately I had a missed miscarriage at 7 weeks and haven't been able to fall pregnant since. I have a short luteal phase and sometimes low progesterone. I have tried acupuncture, chinese herbs, Clomid and am now back on herbs from a naturopath. DH is fine and I am fine apart from the above. I am becoming very impatient and find each month when AF arrives, extremely hard and get very low for a few days. We have decided to give ourselves till March to decide, but every month just gets harder and harder. I'm starting to feel that IVF is our only option. My FS said IVF is the next step, but I find that hard to believe...

I am 31 and DH is 32. I am really scared about IVF and must admit only know a little bit about it. I'm not sure if I would cope on it. How much longer do we leave it and hope? I can't wait another 2 years on hope alone.

Love to hear what you all think.

Hi Stillhoping,

I felt the same way initially about IVF, I thought it was my last option but now I think it was the best decision we ever made.

I started by seeing a fertility specialist and had a number of tests done in Sept 04 and all of the tests came back normal. In Dec we went on clomid and fell pregnant in Feb 05. At our 12 week scan we found out we were having twins and everything seemed to be progressing well until 22 weeks when I started to bleed and sadly lost our beautiful girls to an incompetent cervix. It was a very hard time. We tried naturally for a few months with no success and so we went on a low dose of clomid for 4 months with no success either. After feeling so negative about IVF it began to look like a good option.

We then made an appointment with MIVF and I found them to be very supportive. They of course gave us the statistics but felt due to our age ( 32 ) and that we had been pregnant before put us in a better chance than some other couples.

I found it a bit of a relief to give the job to someone else and see if they could help us. It was a 2 month proceedure where they closely monitor your cycle. I didn't find it very intrusive at all to our daily life. Although I was more confident I was still being realistic that it may not hapen first time but after our 1st complete IVF cycle they called me and told me that I was pregnant. I couldn't believe it and I am now 26 weeks pregnant. I have had a stitch of the cervix to prevent early labour and so far everything is great.

I really hope that I have helped you in some kind of way. It is frustrating when others seem to fall pregant so easily but I believe that this will be your year. Goodluck with it all.

Love Linda

Hi Linda,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your 2 girls. That shoud not have to happen to anyone at that late stage.

Your story has helped me. My main concern was were we giving up too early, when there doesn't appear to be too much wrong?????? My FS told me that I would go on the pill for 3 weeks, but that would be when we see councellors etc and start the cycle, what does the 2 months you are talking about involve? I'm not sure whether to start next cycle or in March???? Will I cope on IVF as I get anxiety which Clomid gave me?

I'd love to hear all the details if you have time. I would also be going through MIVF.

thanks for replying
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Hi Stillhoping,

As a happy IVF graduate, of course I would encourage you to take that next step. It does look scary from the outside but as Aleida said, it can be the best decision you will ever make. Nothing will give you a better chance at reaching your goal and you have to believe that.

Unexplained infertility is very difficult to deal with and people can often end up on the merry go round, trying everything but assisted conception and getting very frustrated in the course of it.

MIVF are wonderful people - best of luck and let us know how you get on. Which specialist are you seeing?

Kind regards,

Mel

Hi Mel,

thanks for your kind words. I currently see Dr Lutjen, but only when I want to take the next step, so we don't see him regularly. We told him last year we want to try natural again till March, but when AF arrived this time, I realised how much I am not coping and wondered whether I could survive till March.

Hi again,

Well the 2 month time frame includes the down regulation of your ovaries where you would go on the pill and then use a a nasal spray called Synarel which triggers your brain to stop you from ovulating. you will then get a slight period and I think this is about when you start with the stimulation process. It is amazing how quickly you forget. The needles help to stimulate the growth of extra eggs and they will carefully monitor you with scans to see if you are responding to the treatment. They will then tell you how many more days you need to continue if the follicles need to grow a little larger.

With MIVF they generally reccomend a 2 day transfer where your fertilised egg will be put back into your uterus 2 days after pick up. Some clinic's go for a 3 or 5 day transfer but our specialist thought the chances of success were higher at the 2 day but saying that there are many women who have had success at the blast cell stage.

Once you have had the egg put back in you have to insert a progesterone gel into your vagina ( yes lovely) till the day of you pregnancy blood test. This helps to prepare the body for a potential pregnancy. I found this part to be the only real negative part of the cycle as it makes you a bit bloated and crampy which then makes you think that you are about to get your period. They are all normal side effects.

I went with Jim Tsaltas and he was absolutely lovely. I hope I have explained it correctly. They will give you a lot more information.

I also found that I was always very anxious on the clomid. Especially after falling pregnant with twins I was scared the next time because there doesn't seem to be enough monitoring. My mood swings were also worse on clomid.

I wish you well and I hope that you have success soon.

Love Linda

Thanks for all that info Linda. You make is sound so easy ( I know it is not). It is good to hear that others have felt anxious on Clomid, I was begining to think it was just me. Do you have to start the pill on the first day of your period or is it at the end of your period, as I never know when mine is coming, so wont know when to see the FS. I will need to book in advance to get in to see him, and I want to start straightaway when I see him. I don't want him to tell me i should have started the pill the day before I see him (if that makes sense).

Sorry for all the questions,just don't want to waste time.
thanks
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Hi there Still hoping!

Im in a very similar situation to you! I have been trying since April 2005, I had a lap done and they found Mild Endo which was removed...but we later found out that my DH had slightly low Sperm Morphology which lowers our stats to around 10% per cycle. But still no Preg. So ive booked in too start IVF at the beginning of Feb. I too don't know too much about it, and Im very nervous about it! Im just very TIRED and emotionally drained to be honest and Im willing to give it a go, though Im really worried about the emotional impact of it! but anyway, if you do need the support to try it we can support each other!

Hi Kim,

Good luck with your cycle. If we decide to start it will be near the end of Feb, as we are really busy in Feb and I don't want to miss all the action due to IVF and how it will make me feel.

I know what you mean about feeling drained etc. To go through this every single month is tiring. I have my few bad days when AF arrives, then I go into my hope phase, then the nervous wait, just for disappointment again.

I'll look forward to reading how you go and hope it works first time for you.
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Thanks!

Im not thinking about it too much...Im giving myself Jan to holiday and relax. Its hard not too feel negative because Ive failed to get preg over and over again. Im having IVF with ICSI! here's hoping.... :fertilise:

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My main concern was were we giving up too early, when there doesn't appear to be too much wrong??????

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This is exactly how I felt for a while and perhaps still do a tiny bit but I am happy with our decision to book onto IVF. I have PCOS and dont Ovulate at all on my own. I tried Clomid which worked once perfectly then was delayed and then didnt work... I moved onto FSH injections which worked once perfectly and now I am on a delayed cycle (ideally i would have Od a week ago but it is going slowley this time).... Over the past 11 months I have only Od 3 times on fertility drugs... my cycles are long even on the drugs because of all the fiddling around trying to get the right dose all the time, it is very frustrating and makes TTC even harder as we have only had a couple of chances... this is why we chose to 'skip' the stuffing around and get into IVF. I felt almost like I didnt deserve IVF because I figured I may well be able to get pregnant on FSH but I didnt know how long that would take or how many more 60 day cycles I could handle!
I know IVF is not going to be a walk in the park but it gives far better success rates and that is what I need to ease my mind.. I feel the last 11 months have all been for nothing except anxiety about ovulating because at this stage Im just happy if that happens!

Good Luck, dont be scared of heading down the IVF path, just think about what it can lead to. :)

Hi Still

I have done the IVF and its not that scary. DH and I did it in 05 and fell pg first time. I was 34. We have a beautiful son Callum how will be 1on the 30th jan. We also had 1 ET but that didnt take and then had the last Blastie ET and it took but ended up being Ectopic so had tube and baby removed. We are starting all over again in Feb some time. Im now 35 and Im sure I will end up with another baby.

It really isnt scary at all and its all worth it. I go to Westmead and they are wonderful there.

Hope all goes well for you.

thanks girls for your encouraging words. It is definitely what I need to hear at the moment. I'm pretty sure we will start IVF after this cycle and the next, so end of Feb. Reality will hit in after this cycle if it is not successful, as that is when I will need to ask work etc if time off is ok. Do you recommend time off during the process and when/how long would you take????

When do you start your IVF Bucca? I hope it all works well for you.

Good luck Missy with your next attempt in Feb. At least you know what to expect.

Stillhoping, Im still waiting to O this cycle on FSH - Im on CD27 at the moment! We are booked into IVF in Feb/March apparently starting injections on the 5th March and egg pickup on the 19th March... however the 'down regulation' where they get your hormones low which would be during February I might not have to go through as because I dont have a cycle my hormones are always low unless Im going through a OI cycle.. fingers crossed for that anyway as it might mean starting sooner (if they can squeeze me in somewhere!) I will find out more next week as we have an appintment with the FS on the 18th to sign the consents etc for IVF.
Id suggest to book in with your clinic for IVF as I booked before Christmas and got the earliest I could! I guess clinics will vary but if you want to do IVF and your like me and want to get cracking at it ASAP then start booking it now! ;)

Good Luck! Let me know how you go getting in.

Stillhoping,

Wishing you luck for whatever path you choose andI hope it leads you to a bfp really soon. Sorry I cant give you advice on IVF, but If you have a short LP, you can try Vitex (you can get it from health shop) and I know I had low progesterone, so my NP gave me some prog. cream to rub into my wrists every night from CD15 onwards. Im pg now and still using the prog cream, will do so until 13wks.

Sending you loads of baby dust,
Lisa

Thanks Still

Hope all goes well for you too!!!

Just a word of warning... many dont recommend taking VItex with Clomid and the like incase it counteracts what the Clomid is trying to do as VItex works are balancing out your hormones while Clomid is trying to help to heighten your estrogen levels to build up those folicles.

I stopped taking it when I started Clomid (wasnt doing anything for me anyway!)

thanks for the tip on Vitex Lisa. I am on it and other herbs, false unicorn root etc and I decided to give myself 4 cycles on it before IVF so I have this one and the next to go. My FS told me progesterone cream wasn't suitable for me, but I didn't really understand why. My FS has told me there wont be a wait for IVF, maybe because he is one of the Monash IVF specialists. When I get AF next which I hope I don't. I am then going to book in for when my next (Feb) AF will be due, so I am giving myself the best chance naturally.

The question is how long do you keep giving yourself a natural chance. I need to draw the line and set goals, so that is what I have done.

Bucca where are you doing IVF? Was your FS one of the specialists with IVF? or did he have to refer you on?

Hi Stillhoping, I was surfing through and thought I would share with you. I am currently about to go #3 cycle ivf and have 2 angels. My advice to you is this.... If you can and your doctor does it ask for a flea cycle (different clinics have different names) This is a natural cycle instead of 6 weeks that includes the pill it goes for normal cycle. Hormonally it is tougher but emotionally it is better not to mention less needles in the longrun. The first cycle is easier as you have no build up of hormones. Newbies always go in thinking they will only need one and some are really lucky, I hope for you it only takes 1 go but prepare yourself for a long haul financially (mistake I made) not necessarily emotionally (we never really can do that :-)) just in case they say between 1 and 4 attempts is standard. If you do that and you get lucky first go then the pot is much sweeter because you were prepared. Good luck stillhopingand remember that it is with a positive heart that most successes are generated. Cheers Tracey

Hi Stillhoping

Sorry to hear that you are having a tough time TTC. I know exactly how you feel about the thought of taking the IVF step.

Heres the SHORT version of our TTC saga...............
My DH & I had been TTC for about 7-8 years before we were finally referred to the IVF clinic ( we had seen a couple of incompetant gynos throughout that time :angry: ) The staff at our IVF clinic were all so supportive and it was the best desicion we ever made. We were extremely lucky and were successful on our first attempt, i cant believe i only have 6 weeks to go until we meet our baby :D

I didnt find IVF difficult at all and would do it again in a second (wish i had the knowledge & guts to have my first attempt years ago) . Sure you can get a bit emotional & hormonal on the drugs etc but i think i only prepares you for pregnancy because the hormones/emotions are much crazier then hahaha !!!!!!!!

If you have any questions you want to ask someone thats been through it all, feel free to ask me ANYTHING.

Good luck with whatever you decide but i say DO IT !! As soon as you start you will never look back

I wish you all the luck in the world

Cheers
Char :biggrin:

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Bucca where are you doing IVF? Was your FS one of the specialists with IVF? or did he have to refer you on?

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We go to Repromed in Adelaide and they are the IVF specialists here (they are also in Darwin). The FS I see is an IVF specialist and he just monitors the notes the nurses make mainly and gives the final word on treatments however about once a cycle we meet with him to discuss how things are going (bearing in mind a 'cycle' for me is more like 2 months! - stupid drugs and even stupider body not doing anything!).

Stillhoping,

According to a recent survey by the Fertility Society of Australia 1 in 6 couples has had trouble conceiving for the last 3 generations. My advice - if you've already been trying for 2 years and it's not happening - go back and see someone about other options.

The same survey also found that it takes on average about 5-8 years to be diagnosed with endo for the average woman. (An appalling statistic given that it is quite common). Many many couples just delay or get delayed when dealing with infertility. It's all very traumatic. Another study found that subfertilty and infertility issues are right up there as being the most stressful things a person can go through, but that unlike death and divorce - people with kids don't have any idea about the stress of childlessness.

I started IVF at 38 (long story) but miraculously we ended up conceiving naturally on our own while waiting for a FET. I also had a short LP and found vitex and vit B6 helped. IVF is hard but I took that step because I didn't want to be a childless 45 year old and look back and think - gee I wish I had done IVF - it might've worked.

Being pregnant at 40 has its upsides but I would love to have done it at your age instead.

Sending you all lots of babydust....

thanks for all the advice everyone. When I next meet with my FS I am hoping he will run through all the options for me and give me as much information as posible so we can make an informed choice. I will ask about the natural cycle as well. My cousin has just completed her 2nd go at IVF and has been successful. She is now 8 weeks along and is saying that being pregnant is harder than the IVF treatment. So that is giving me hope. Unless you have gone through what we all have been through you really don't know how hard it is month after month.

Good luck everyone and thank you all so much. I really love checking all the advice and taking it all in.

Stillhoping -

Congratulations to your cousin.

I can relate to what your cousin is saying. Pregnancy in the first trimester is in some ways harder than IVF because (a) emotionally you are extremely worried about hanging onto the precious baby (unlike most people who appear incredibly blase about the whole thing and have no idea what you are going through), and (b) you can be so tired physically (and possibly sick) it's not funny.

But unlike IVF, pregnancy is offset by the sheer joy and wonder of finally being pregnant. And once you are past 10-12 weeks and everything is ok then you start to relax a little bit.

That's not something that continuing IVF dissappointment gives you. It's just heart-wrenchingly dissappointing. So in that way - IVF is harder than pregnancy.