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Hey everyone!
As far as labor and birth goes, I don't have a plan, and don't plan on having a plan. I want to take it as it comes, I'm open to everything (except pethadine) as far as pain relief goes if I need it, and I don't have any pre-conceived notions going into it (such as I HAVE to birth in a certain position etc).
Am I completely stupid for not having a detailed plan and for not wanting it to be certain way in particular?
I wouldn't say your stupid ahsamalee :) I think it's fine not to have a plan (after all.. not everything goes to plan!!) But definitely educate yourself on what positions are good, the pros and cons of the pain relief offered etc. From reading many experiences here on BB, when people go into birthing without much information, they rely on the midwife/OB's advice, and often this leads to a chain of unnecessary intervention and a 'disappointing' birth.
I didnt' really have a plan as such, but I had read up on the benefits of staying upright as long as possible, and staying active. And I had chosen not to have any pain relief, and was able to stay away from it during labour.
So I don't think a "plan" is necessary, but as long as you are informed to all the options available, you can make your decisions as you go, and be happy at the end of it.
Hope that made sense!
No i don't think so at all! Just make sure your partner and your practitioner know that you don't want pethidene - which I completely agree with! Horrible drug! :)
I had a full birth plan of what i wanted....however i went into labour (even though the hospital told me i wasnt), my DH's freinds had my labour bag in thier car and went home with it (we didnt think they were going to admit me...so they took all my bags back home with them when they dropped DH and i off).
Turns out i didnt need it in the end. DH knew what i wanted and what i didnt. So if something come up he was able to say yes or no if i wasnt able to answer.
Once i got home i looked back over my plan and everything i had planned went the way i wanted....other then the tearing.... i said id ather be cut then tear....but it was unpreventable in my case as DD come flying out and would have been no time to cut any ways!!
I agree with everything said so far, I have read heaps of other birth stories on BB and even if I dont have a plan as such, I definitely know what I dont want:
I dont want the cord cut straight away if possible
I dont want the needle to help the placenta come out
I dont want to be restricted in movement\postions etc...
Alot of friends have said to me that whilst it is good to have a plan, it doesnt always go anything like you wanted or hoped.. being the first time, anything can happen!
Just arm yourself with knowledge and go with an open mind
I never went into my three previous births with a plan - I just wanted to go with the flow and see how I felt at the time about certain things and that has worked well for me, but having said that I have done one for this pg because of a few things that happened with Paige's birth (retained placenta) that I want to avoid this time round.
Whatever you decide educate yourself as much as you can about positions, drugs, c/s, the whole kit and kaboodle so that when the time comes you can make informed decisions and not be railroaded into something you may not be 100% comfortable with, so if they say "right, we want to do this" you can say "no, I would rather do it this way' kwim?
I think that's a great way to go into labour/birth. I like to have a plan just so others know what I would like to avoid just because I don't want to have to battle with medical prof in the middle of labour.
if you dont have a plan you wont be dissapointed if something happens differently.
My only plan was to have a baby .. :)
Thank you so much for your opinions guys.
I definitely agree that I need to be educated and aware of everything that is happenening and can happen around me. I'm definitely not saying that I don't care what procedures are what and that I don't need to know anything, but I am definitely reading up on other people's stories and reading all the info on positions, c/s etc and believe I'm pretty well educated as far as it all goes.
I may chage ym mind completely when the vent gets closer, who knows, but I just feel that going in there with an open mind and not having any ideas of how it SHOULD go is the best option for me.
I am also not planning on having 2 much of plan, other then this is what i dont want. I guess having never been thru it before, i dont know what i should plan for. But, so far, my thoughts are - only want gas, might look at the tens machine. and dont want every tom d1ck and harry family member outside waiting. Want DH to cut cord.
Have been reading other peoples birth stories, which has given me lots of info re positions, and plan on giving the shower a great work out as it seems to be a favorite.
Question for Netty thou (or anyone else)
Have not thought of these things before? Or heard it mentioned. Can i have some insight into pros/cons?:
I dont want the cord cut straight away if possible
I dont want the needle to help the placenta come out
Thanks
I didn't have a written plan for K's birth as I did a lot of research beforehand and all the the things I felt strongly about were standard procedure at my hospital anyway, plus I had a really good m/w. This time I am going to try a few different things, like a physiological 3rd stage, so I'm going to have those things in writing just as a reminder for my m/w.
Ashlee, I think as long as you're educated about the options available to you (pain relief, birthing positions etc) then you're going into this with your head on your shoulders.
I found that writing a birth plan for ME helped me to mentally prepare. It helped me work out what I did, and didn't want. Does this make sense? In the end I never showed it to the hospital, but made sure John knew what I wanted in case I was unable to verbalise it for myself. I had what I believed to be a really positive birth experience and like many of the other girls, it went nearly textbook to what I'd dreamed of. I had prepared myself however, for the event that it didn't.
hey mum2bee,
I have read that if you dont have the cord cut straight away (sometimes they have to if it is around the baby's neck) it continues to pulse for maybe another 30 seconds and there is alot of iron in that extra blood that the baby gets. Hospitals generally just cut it straight away otherwise.
if you do not get the needle to help the placenta come out, it can take up to 45 minutes for the body to naturally expell it which is fine with me. The needle they give you makes the uterus contract to make it come out quickly after the baby and they sometimes tug on the cord to help it come out too which some friends have told me they really didnt like and may have had more bleeding afterwards because of this. I think this is another thing that if you do not say anything, they automatically give you the needle, it makes it quicker for them to have it out so they can clean you up and get you off to your room...
Cheers
Nets
HI
I had a birth plan with DS and it didnt leave my bag!! DF already knew what i wanted at the event that anything arose, like emergency c-sect etc.... This time i have told him again coz i know the "birth plan" they like you to fill out never leaves the bag....
I had a written plan but the midwife who delivered me didn't have time to read it!
I was at home and knew which of my (limited anyway) options i wanted and which i didn't.
I would say, that more than anything else, the birth plan is incredibly helpful for filling the L-O-N-G days between due date and the actual birthday!
HTH
Hana
my birth plan didn't get looked at!. We got to the hospital at 10.40 and isabelle was born 10 min later. i would have liked the midwives to have had time to read it! As they didn't listen to me at all!
I had wrote that i didnt want to give birth on my back and they really insisted that i did! Grrrr!
Just make sure that your birth partner knows what you want! So that they can stick up for you!
Thanks Netty, what you have said sounds very reasonable, and worth while keeping in mind. I might start taking notes on these sorta things when they come up, so i remember when the time comes to write my own.
I wouldn't say anyone is silly! Doing a birth plan depends if there is anything specific you want/don't want from your birth experience.
Its important you have a strong advocate who knows your choices if you don't have a birth plan, someone who will ask the questions, or you need to decide how you would feel with this comment, when things are most stressful/exhausting/out of it:
"I think we need to do a caesarean and it'll be a general anaesthetic"
Not being dramatic here, over 1/3 of women are having caesars and some hospitals have a 50-70% rate...
When you don't plan this stuff or have it in writing, whats going to hold up for you in labour when you are most vulnerable? Giving control to the carers I feel is not the best thing as they will feel free to do as they please... and lets face it if they are standing there having a conversation with you or saying 'I think' then it's hardly an emergency! You're up against a tough system with skyrocketing rates of intervention, I think most women aim to avoid as much as they can, but don't plan or prepare to avoid as much as they can. Educating yourself with good solid education (not in hospital-based classes only) is the most important thing you can do, then a birth plan, because you can plan for things, thats perfectly okay, but you need to back yourself up with skills and good support -most don't and this is why many situations can go pear-shaped. Check out the Pink Kit.
Is It Worth Writing A Birth Plan?
The only reason I have a plan - with lots of "ifs" in it (may re-write it as a flow-chart LOL) - is because I'm scared that without a written sheet, no-one will listen to me or DH. With it there in writing, no-one can get away with igoring my wishes or what I'm saying (it will be my word against all of theirs if it isn't written down). Yes, I know it sounds bad but I really don't trust the NHS here in the UK, says a lot as I used to work for them. Plus, with DH's problem reaction to drugs I have to be very, very careful with what I take as some of it is genetic.
I will be going through the final plan/intentions with the midwife next week at my antenatal appointment at the birth centre, just to make sure that someone has seen it and the centre agree that it is reasonable.
All very good points ladies.
I think I will do alot of research, as much as I can on all sorts of scenarios etc. I will definitely write a list of what I definitely DONT want...as Ryn said, it's better to have it in writing to prove it was said iykwim!