Jackson's real birth story.

OK, so here is the real story, I wasnt being completely honest, but was pretty down after the birth, just had a hard time admitting it.

As most of you know I had a caesar. I dont want to put anyone off the idea of caesars, it is a completely individual thing, not everyone has an experience like mine, so please dont think I am against them, in my case it was a neccesity, not a choice which made it a little harder.

The birth of your child is meant to be the best experience of your life, mine was about the worst. I felt so detached from it all. Our OB was so impersonal, didnt explain anything to us, didnt see us before the surgery at all. We were admitted and waiting in our room for about an hour before i was wheeled down to surgery. The anaestheseist came and asked what kind of anaesthetic i was having, how the hell would i know?!, she couldnt believe no one had been over the options or explained the procedure to us. i became really anxious and couldnt stop crying, and they wouldnt let Chris stay while I had the epidural. I must admit the epidural was fine, didnt hurt a bit, the IV in my hand actually hurt more.

then our OB strolls in, starts poking and prodding and i realise they have started and no one has called in Chris! I kept saying where is my husband, I need my huband here, and they kept saying someone is getting him, and dismissing me. eventually he came in, just before they pulled Jackson out, and he had to walk past the area where he could see everything that was going on, not nice, he was pretty shocked. after about five minutes I felt two huge sort of cracks, apparently Jackson's head was stuck in my pelvis and they were pulling him out with forceps, they didnt explain any of this to me while it was happening, so I got a real fright when I felt the cracks. About 10 minutes into it they held our son over the curtain, and it was the strangest feeling, he didnt feel like mine, the whole process was too quck and I played no part in it whatsoever. he was put on my chest for about a minute before him and Chris left and I was wheeled into revovery for about an hour where I lay there on my own, no one with me at all.

Eventually I was wheeled to my room where Jackson was already dressed, something else I didnt get to play a part in, and he still didnt feel like mine. Through my whole pregnancy I felt like I knew him so well, and all of a sudden I felt like I didnt know him at all, i dint have the use of my legs for a few hours, so if he cried or needed me, i couldnt tend to him myself, i just didnt feel like his mother.

Am starting to get on top of things now. we have put him on formula as the breastfeeding was getting worse, not better, he just wouldnt get the hang of it, is very lazy. I feel better now I dont have the frustration of that added to the feelings i was trying to deal with about his birth.

I feel a lot better after getting all this out, i do love him to bits, there is no doubt about that, am just looking forward to geting to know him. and let me tell you that if we have any more children, things will be changing, i am not going to feel like i am not at the birth of my own child ever again.

thanks shannon, yeah it was a big shock to be feeling like that after the birth, all those feelings really scarred me, i didnt expect them at all. i had such a vivid idea of what i thought it was going to be like, and was nothing like that.

i am lucky i have such a supportive husband and family that have been there for me every step of the way and have helped me see that what i was feeling was completely normal and i am a fantastic mother.

Min,

I am so sorry to hear of your bad experience. At least you have Jackson safe in your arms now. I think we have the same OB and I have had some concerns about this. I sent you a PM last month about him. I was told from the nurse who did my last blood tests that he was her OB and she too had a bad experience. He was chatting up the med student while delivering her baby and she told him off and to concentrate on the job he was doing. This nurse said he was a great OB which is why I haven't changed.

Hope you are feeling better now and enjoying your little Jackson.

yup Gemma, I remember. I hope I havent put any bad thoughts in your mind. I will say that he is a fantastic OB, every bit capable and not a problem there, is just his people skills i feel are lacking, so don't worry that he wont do a great job, he will, no problems with Jackson's actual delivery at all.

The positive of it all was that the midwives at the Angliss are all fantastic, I did have one who tried to put a suppositry in the worng entrance (she was an idiot!) but the rest of them were fantastic

Thanks min, you were just confirming what I suspected. I am going to Knox and the midwives seem great. Hoping for a natural birth so hopefully they will be doing most of the work. Sorry to hi-jack your birth story. Hope you are recovering well.

Thanks for sharing your story min, hope getting it out makes you feel a little better. I am sorry the way things happen. I am glad that Jackson is going well on his formula.

The midwives I had also were great, I think that midwives are under rated!

so do i nelbe, and OB's are definately overated. i am not wasting the money having a private Ob next time, I will be much more comfortable with midwife care, they care just as much about the patient as they do the delivery and i realise now that is so important.

Thanks for sharing your story Min. I hope you and little Jackson are bonding well. I too felt out of control when I had to go into theatre due to a retained placenta. When I got back to my room I felt like I had missed out by not seeing Angus' first few hours. Trevor had bathed and dressed him so at least it was done by daddy.

Min I am speechless. I am just so sad that all these events conspired to rob you of what should have been the most amazing experience of your life. The hard part is that 95% of them were avoidable had people been more compassionate & thoughtful regarding thier chosen industry & you, the patient (should i go further & say 'the human being')

Thank you so much for sharing & I hope it was a cathartic experience for you. Best to keep in mind that none of this was Jackson's fault either.
Hug him extra tight just to let him know :D :D

My thoughts are with you in the hopes that all this will become a cautionary tale you tell people about as the days pass :)

Min - Thank you for sharing your story with us. I can sympathise with you on a couple of your issues, I too felt very strange when they popped me up to see this baby which was suddenly born and was mine, it all happens so quickly and by feeling your not a part of it all makes it so hard. Mark did take lots of photos of Matthew starting from just his head poking out which has helped me a lot, I cherish those precious photos. Like you with Jackson, Matthew was also taken away after a quick cuddle to be bathed and dressed, after being away from Mark and Matthew for 2 hours while in recovery I was finally able to see my darling hubby and baby.

Sorry for going on but I just wanted to let you know I can sympathise with you on a couple of your points.

I`m glad you are both well and your both starting to really get to know each other.

Take Care

Deeanne

thank you all so much, great to know that others have gone through the same things, and those that havent understand.

M2B, we were shocked at the hair, neither of us are redheads, but yes it is adorable, i love it, especially in the sunlight, is just gorgeous!

Oh Min, I am so sorry to hear that your experience was so horrible.

All I can say that not all doctors are like that, and that I sincerely hope next time you are made to feel part of the whole process.

Enjoy your beautiful boy, and hopefully in time, the experience will feel less sureal for you.

Hugs to you!

Min thank you for sharing your story and for being honest. I am just so sorry your first birth was not what you intended and expected. :hugs:

Jackson is an ablsolutley gorgeous little boy. Well done. :) I am so glad you ae both doing well now.

Min - you poor little thing .... I feel for you so much .... OB's are definately overated. can't believe they didn't make sure your husband was with you from the beginning ... he is probably feeling robbed also ! ....
Just remember no matter what the actual birth was like, little Jackson was created by you & grew in your tummy for 9mths .... doesn't really matter how he gets out ... he is still your baby O:)
I have heard that C/S make women feel like this at the beginning, but it does get better.
Big HUGS to you ... & congatulations on the birth of baby Jackson !!

Oh min, I am so sorry they treated you that way. I hope you are bonding with your little boy and seeing how like his mum and dad he is. I hope ur partner is giving you lots of TLC and supprt, and I want you to know.....it's not unusual to feel disassociated after a c/s and it's certainly ok to feel down after an experience like that. It will pass and will be taken oer by the blinding love for your son....
Congratulations on having a healthy boy and lots of *hugs* coming your way from us here.........

Min,

I had a different than expected time in my labour too - I have written up most of my labour story, and for a while there I cried every time I started writing.
Just remember that having a c/s doesn't mean that your little boy isn't yours, and of course you gave birth to him!! Your OB sounds like he needs a slap around the ears, but the big positive to it all is you have your little boy safe.

Well done for an honest account of things, it will help to make you feel better.
Fi

Oh Min, so sad that things were that way for you and a big thumbs down to the Dr, reminds me of the dr who delivered my 1st, no communication skills whatsoever. I am so glad though that you wrote it the way it was cos it is important for you to validate the way you felt and of course it isn't anything against your darling Jackson, but rather at what you felt you missed. I don't blame you for feeling the way you did, I am sure most people would feel the same. So glad you guys are going well now.

Best wishes Michelle

Min - I can't believe I have only just read your story now. I am very slack.
I am so sad for you that you had such a rotten experience. Just because you had a c-section, it doesn't mean that you weren't giving birth and the staff during the op should have been supportive and caring. As for starting without your DH there.... I don't think I am allowed to blurt out that many profanities on here!
I am so glad to hear that you are doing well in spite of it all. I hope that next time you have a far more positive experience. I know first hand that a c-section can be a wonderful birth experience esp. when you have a great team of people working WITH you not ON you.
Huge :hugs:

min,

so sorry to hear things didnt go how you hoped. what an awful OB to not talk you through anything

All the best in this time now getting to know your boy,

Linda