What is the best & worst advice you have received from others while you had a newborn?
If you would like to share your best and worst advice (one each), please post below :)
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What is the best & worst advice you have received from others while you had a newborn?
If you would like to share your best and worst advice (one each), please post below :)
Best advice: It is NORMAL for a baby to have an unsettled time each day and an unsettled day a week. Often it's tiredness. You will get through and the next day they will be OK again!
Worst advice: "That (breastfeeding) is disgusting. Why can't you put her on a bottle like everyone else?" (thanks to my DAD who was promptly told to crawl back under his rock)!
Here's mine :)
Best advice was: do what you feel is right/what works for you and the baby
Worst advice was: flying/travelling with a newborn is easy (not true in our case)
Best - wear your baby.
Worst - Let your baby cry itself to sleep. And wearing your baby will 'spoil' him. I hate that one.
best: putting baby to bed awake
this is not really bad advise more just ignorance
worst: your using cloth and not going back to work!
Worst Advice: Your baby should be sleeping through by 6 weeks.
Best advice: Your baby will NOT be sleeping through by 6 weeks necessarily and that is perfectly normal!!!
xo
Best advice: cuddles does not spoil them, let them breath and smell you, as they have been apart of you for the last 9 months
Worst advice: that switching to bottle feeding will help them sleep at night, also when are you going back to work.
Worst advice: Don't cuddle them too much or feed them to sleep cause your creating bad habits and will spoil your bub.
Best advice: To do whatever works for you and your baby that will keep you both happy and sane!
Best: let your baby led you and let you know when their hungry, tired etc.
Worst: That because your baby is bottle fed it should be sleeping through by 6wks.
Best Advice: (from my dad no less) - take him to bed with you and get some sleep, also several people told me to "do what works"
Worst Advice: Don't hold him so much, after all, he is out of the womb now and needs to get used to it!
Oh, I'm loving this! What a good idea Kelly!
this is a great chat!!!:clap:
BEST: do what YOU feel is right and never be afraid to ask for help
WORST: dont pick bubs up too much as you will spoil them... what a crock!!
Best Advice: Try formula
Worst Advice: Dip his dummy in alcohol to calm him (Um i dont think so!)
Best advice; Listen to all the advice given to you, be polite and respect each word of wisdom but only take on board what you think will work for you and your babie/s
Worst advice; rub lemon on the gums of teething babies to bring the teeth through quickly!
Worst: any advice that ends with "if you don't do this you'll kill your baby" or words to that effect. Had this in hospital on day 2 (I'm starving him and if I don't top him up I'll kill him so the evil midwife will take him away and do it anyway) and from my mum (on co-sleeping, which in the first week was the only way to get any sleep at night).
Best: from my DH, just reassurance that even though Liebling is crying and we don't know why, that I'm a fantastic mother and doing the best for him. It really keeps me going if he's really unsettled and he never tells me what to do or informs me he'll just take over, as my mother did. It's also fab we both think Liebling is more important than housework (although the house is kept clean).
Most stupid (had to put these in, advice that is just stupid and isn't even worth mentioning that I'm ignoring it!): from my mum, that DH should "get over himself". He suffers from anxiety, made worse through lack of sleep, so no, I don't expect him to sleep with me when we're still getting up all night, nor do I expect him to keep getting me drinks all night, I can just sleep with a couple of pints of water next to the bed. Neither of us like it, but it's better he sleeps on a camp bed in the nursery for now. And from DH - that although he was stopping with his parents for a bit while my mum was staying, he wasn't going to leave me. The thought hadn't crossed my mind until then!
Yeah - I think we will have to add a Most Stupid category too.
Best: Do whatever works.
Worst: Give baby water when he wakes through the night from 6 weeks to get him to sleep through.
Stupid: You must drink milk to produce enough to breastfeed.
Although the worst one could also be the most stupid too...
worse - feed,play,sleep or any 'routine'- (its play, feed to sleep!:P)
best - follow your instincts and meet your babies needs.
The Worst: Ohhhh, your baby has teeth, time to wean him off the breast.
The Best: My Mum said this one only the other day "Tell everyone to shove off that say you need to wean from the breast when teeth arrive, I fed you when you had a gob full of sharp toothy pegs with no problems" (not bad from a Mum raising a kid in the 70's when so many others were bottle feeding!)
Best - do what you feel is right for you and your baby.
Worst - My MIL tried telling me to put ice cream on bubs dummy when she was only 4 weeks old cos she was unsettled...uh how about no!!
Worst - don't feed them so often (DS #1 would feed about every 2 hours during the day then sleep thru the night from 6 weeks, why would I change that?, DS #2 went through his 6 week growth spurt and MIL said I was "mad for feeding him so often - it's insane").
Best - hard to pick one but probably when DS #1 was nearly due my friend told me to join the ABA (in fact she gave me a gift subscription) and NOT to give up bfing if I had problems. I had problems (Jack had a tongue-tie) and her advice (and gift ABA subscription) got me through.
Stupid - most of the advice!!
Best - Babies are all different, they don't read manuals so do what's best for you & your baby.
Worst - Surely you're going to wean her soon? She doesn't need to be breastfed now that she's over 6 months.
Best: Follow your instincts, you're her mother you know best.
Worst: I couldn't breastfeed so you won't be able to either (from a few different people including my mother, I showed them though :p )
Best: Do what you think is best for Logan and don't compromise your beliefs because some one tells you to.
Worst: "I saw on a breast feeding program that formula is more nourishing than breast milk, so why haven't you weaned him yet? I mean there is no point in you breast feeding.." from a girl in my young mothers group when Logan was 11months old and on the boob.
I got a lot of bad advice!....
Worst : Let her cry otherwise she will have you wrapped around her finger (given at two weeks old). Dont cuddle her to much or you will spoil her !. Stick to a routine!!!!!!
Best Advise : Just go with the flow - enjoy her and dont worry about routine . Wish I got this one earlier :-(
Best: If you get just one thing done each day with a newborn then you are doing well.
Worst: You mustn't pick your baby up, it's habit forming.
i look forward to revisiting this thread in 3 or 4 months time.
Already - i take the best advice you all have given - Do what is best for you and baby. Nothing wrong with cuddles, and worry about the housework later.
Thanks so much ladies :) just reading this, i feel better about being able to cope, and more assured that i can trust my own instincts.
Worst - "Your baby is crying and unsettled because you are cuddling him too much - put him in the crib and leave him" - this from a midwife the day after I gave birth to my DS! Along the same lines is "Don't rock/cuddle your baby to sleep, or he will get used to it and be expecting it when he is 5" This is a crock! Don't let anyone tell you this!
Best - When someone gives you advice you don't like, just smile and nod then do it your way!
Best - trust you, and it's OK to ask for help
Worst - From MIL at 6weeks "You're undernourishing her. She should be on formula and starting solids" - uhhuh that's why she's not allowed to have food at your house.....
worst a baby will eat when it is hungry they wont astarve them selves (yer right that aint always the case)
best trust your self mum knows best
6 weeks - are you serious!:
best... when listening to advice "smile an nodd" then go home and take out the good bits that suit you n bubs :)
worst ... Don't pick her up all the time, ohh you shouldnt be co sleeping, your going to spoil her! Well - pfft to those ppl i say, my child i can spoil if i want :P
And the worst advice came from a friend that didn't even have kids!
The best advice I got was from my MCHN, who told me to trust myself and go with what i thoguht was best. Its fine to listen to what people have to say but only take on board what makes sense to you.
The worst advice I got was 'leaving him cry is really good as this will tire him out and make him sleep longer?' and this from a nurse!
Yes and they wonder why I don't ask for any more of their wisdom lol.:
hmmm tricky one!
BEST ADVICE: Coles online!
WORST ADVICE: Dont rock your baby they get use to it..... JOSH DIDNT!
BEST ADVICE- Go with your instincts (thanks mum, great advice! xoxo)
WORST ADVICE- Wake her every four hours for a feed, she cant go the whole night without one! (Damn midwife just wanted to drive me insane I'm sure... I took mums advice with this one & DD has always been a healthy little porker!)
Worst advice - "it's wind"
ho hum - so let me shake your baby up and down, slap it in the back - there is gotta be some wind in there somewhere - hang on i think i've got it, oops nope no burp yet ok now i gotta start pacing the hallway that works for all babies.... (step away from my baby!)
Best advice - some random lady at the dentist said "when they wave their arms about they are tired"
I didnt get it at first because I thought Jemima always waved her arms about but there IS a difference and when I see it and help her to sleep she doesnt cry or get overtired.
(other best advice I give is listen to YOUR baby, who cares what other babies are doing)
(I also reckon you can over do it sometimes so i like to think what would i like if I was her??? I certainly wouldnt want to be jiggled like a liptons t-bag when I'm trying to go to sleep)
I have been severely dissappointed by the people around me. I have received nothing but bad advice and old wives tales. I gave myself some good advice....... " do what you reckon is good", and this is working out great got a really happy, healthy baby on my hands.
Lots of worsts:
At 6 weeks he will change dramatically - ERR, no...... that doesn't happen (maybe for some babies it does) until 3 months. Boy was I depressed when nothing changed at week 6!! They're still newborns at week 6!!
His head is flat, you need to roll his head at night - project "round head" does not interest me. Once he's asleep, I ain't touchin' him!!! BTW - his head isn't flat.
Don't let him sleep in your bed, you'll roll over and kill him - he is still alive and well. The problem with this is that when he isn't in our bed I have nightmares because I am sure DH has rolled over on him. DH has to assure me he is not in our bed. I've woken up in cold sweats over this one.
Do what you like and poo poo the nay sayers!!
Best advice- if you want to have a healthy baby, breastfeed him till he is at least a year.
worst advice-from my mother-in-law, ur 3month old baby is just not sleeping during the day because your are breastfeeding him. that is the price u pay if u wana breastfeed ur baby.
oh wow,love this thread :)
Best - go with your INSTINCTS
Worst - oh soo many. Love this one from my MIL- DS had a snuffly nose and she told us to prop his cot mattress up AT THE FEET so his "snot" runs to his throat so he can cough it up (OMG and choke no doubt). WHat the heck! LOL.