I just don't look pregnant....

Ok I need to vent and I thought I would share my feelings with other second trimesters.

I am 174cm tall, and weigh around 125kg. So I am not exactly small. So the chances of someone saying I look pregnant or know I am pregnant without me telling them are so slim.

I know I am as my belly is bigger then normal. I had lost almost 15 kg on a diet prior to falling pregnant..but obviously with morning sickness and nausea I put on 5kg straight up. That was I guess putting carbs back into my diet after being on a low carb diet.

Comments like "you don't look 18 weeks", anyhow it just peeves me off...why I can't look like others. I even said yeh but when I get to 30 weeks you can notice. So yeh great for the self esteem, and it has made me really teary now. So I thought where better to let it all out then on my forum where at least someone might be able to know how I feel.

Thanks for listening I think I have had a hormone blast overnight as I am never this sensitive ever.

Jac

don't listen to them :D Don't cry :)
I had comments FROM A PREGNANT WOMAN, saying I didn't look 15 weeks - figure that. She wasn't all that huge either for 8 months. I could I have replied all the same. But I bit my tongue, I am better than them

People can be cruel. We all carry different. Some can have a huge belly but small baby or avg baby with small tummy etc.
As long as your baby and you are ok, that is all that matters.

:)

I know how you feel about hurtful comments Jac {{{hugs}}}
I'm now 20 weeks and I'm getting heaps of comments of when am I due and how's the baby going to fit in me and I'm soo huge. (I know opposite of you) but it still hurts. I'm not skinny in the least, so I guess I look bigger then most and this is my fourth baby so that doesn't help to hold things in tight.
You should find some tight fitting preggy shirts, you know the ones that gather under your boobs. They really make you look pregnant. Walk around with your hand on your belly, that's a give away.
Try not to let peoples comments get to you, what do they know, at least at the end of it all your the one with a beautiful baby.
Take care of yourself...

Hi there Jacqui!
I know how you feel!!!
I am 178cm, and a few kilos bigger than you. So I stress alot as to wether I actually 'look' pregnanat, or just plain huge!!
I have to admit, I do feel I look preggers, my tummy doesnt consist of rolls anymore. It's one continuous bump.
I still worry that people look and me and think something mean to do with my weight!
I have only put on 1.8kgs so far.... so I'm thinking that's pretty good.
I'm very embarrassed when I get my weight taken at midwife appts. I feel like the biggest person to have ever been pregnant!
Thankfully, I havent had any of the comments you are experiencing. I really feel for you. I know I would just break down and cry. Maybe if you don't hold back your tears in front of these people and show them how much it hurts you, they might stop. There's no need for people to be so insensitive. Especially to an expectant mum!!!
Try to ignore their comments. they obvioulsy dont have any idea, or have anything remotely intelligent to say.
Being a bigger person, I know I'm not really going to look as pregnant as someone due the same time as me, who is of a slender build.
Just remember, your DP/DH loves you for who you are! AND YOUR GOING TO HAVE A BABY!!!!!!!!!!
Try and relax, take it easy and enjoy the pregnancy!!!
And if you ever want to talk, I'm always here to listen.
Best wishes, and good luck with your pregnancy!!!

Nicky (MSN - checkoutmypins@hotmail.com)

By the way CONGRATS ON THE WEIGHT LOSS!!!!!!!!!!
Keep your chin up sweety!!!! :)

You carry it all in your bum - I'm not pregnant & I take offense to that on your behalf. How rude. All pregnant women are gorgeous in my opinion :)

Same Sarah, that's just nasty!

lol i got told i was getting really fat.. nice huh those words exactly too don't listen to ppl because they are really insensitive most the time...

Jac - I really feel for you - you're sensitive enough when you're PG without having rude and insensitive ppl making horrible comments to bring you down.

Next time someone says something like that to you, just direct your hormonal blast straight at them and tell them exactly why it's rude and hurtful. You are a gorgeous woman nurturing a new life inside of you - there's nothing on earth more beautiful than that!

Thankyou all so much for your comments. I knew I would find support hear and it makes me feel better and not so alone. I totally agree with the constant weighing, you do feel like the biggest person to ever have a baby lol.

I will be searching for the "make me look preggers" shirts...and rub my belly more. I totally agree with every post in this thread. And thank everyone so much. I am pleased I am not alone...I dont know how I survived my previous pregnancies without the internet and forums.

I know it gets better from here on in....just have to make a point of avoiding negative people.

JAc

I right up there with you.
179cm tall, weighed 91kg proir to falling preg, and am now 101kg. Also get constantly told that i dont look preg. I am starting to now, but, i dont look how i imagined i would look at 6months.
I have been pretty happy with being told in a way that i dont look preg, says to me that i havent put on to much weight etc.
I do know that my boobs have seemingly taken up most of my weight gain - ****!! Probably the reason why my tum doesnt look big, cause they still shelted by my boobs!!! :)
SEriously, they not that bad, only D cup, prob should go to E thou.
Becuase we are tall, we just have more room for baby. Thats my theory. All babies prob roughly the same length, but, we got longer bodies to hold the baby, in compared to a small person, where its gotta go somewhere, so therefore sticks out more.

I am starting to in the last 2 or so weeks look more preg to the outside world, not just fat. I really want to get one of those "baby on board" signs to stick on my top, just to peoples know that i preg, not fat.

yeh I guess when you think of it being taller should help them stay away from under our ribs...as there is plenty of room elsewhere lol. Never works though.

My boobs have shrunk I think they moved elsewhere probably to my butt cheeks lol. I am smaller now in my chest then before I was pg. Go figure.

I definitely want the sign, the shirt, and the hand on the belly to enhance pregnancy looks.

try walking around, with your hand on your back, sticking your tum out! :lol:

Get a bit of a waddle on too, that always looks very preggy! :)

lol thanks girls...these are great tips for all of us not quite belly bound yet!!

Jacqui I know exactly how you feel. I'm not quite as tall, and not quite as big, so we would probably even out overall and be very similar.

People constantly tell me that I don't even look pregnant, even though I'm nearly 26 weeks. It is sohurtful, I am already worried enough about the baby without people's stupid comments to compound on it.

All I have found that helps is letting people know how much those comments hurt me. I don't do it in a nasty way, but I still let them know that I don't appreciate those comments and to back off. Most people are ok - but my mum is one of the worst culprits!!

Hugs honey - I know how you feel.

Hi there
I am in a similar situation (except for the tallness, Im only 163cm) in that im 21 weeks preg and still dont have much of a belly at all (check out my website pics)...I also get comments all the time such as "what sort of a pregnant bellys that?" or "maybe next time we see you, you might actually look pregnant"...Only 2 days ago I told a girl that I do uni with that I was pregnant and she said "only just pregnant then?" I replied "Im 21 weeks" and she questioned me like she didnt believe that I was even pregnant!

People peeve me off about this. You can be told in the space of a day how big or small you are by two different people.

I just ignore people and their comments. I am sure you look lovely and people should have more sense than to comment on a womans size.....whether she is pregnant or not.

im really tiny in weight and 165cm tall. with my last two pregnancies people (especially DH family ) constantly commented on how little my belly was and how "such and such" was much bigger at that stage... Obviously my body doesnt like to hold too much weight and both my boys were perfect when born, even though they were both under six pounds they fattened up very quickly. even the dr said my size was correct for my build.. i just got sick of defending myself in the happiest and proudest moments.

point is - dont take it personally, i think people just dont think first! as long as you and bubs are healthy thats all you should worry about..

CONGRATULATIONS and good luck!

fletch i know exactly how u feel!!!! i was called fat by someone atleast that big!!! i am also around a 12 only 14 weeks preg but it was at work and she said gee your getting really fat.. and coz it was at work i couldn't just turn around and say atleast its not from too many biscuits or do u even have a mirror grrr ppl are so annoying!!!

why is it that people put others down for being to big, and now, we get hassled for not being big enough?
What is with all this image crap?
You are healthy, baby is healthy - what is peoples issue?
I have a "friend" who is much larger then me, and she constantly tells me that i am not fat enough - i take it as a compliment from her, cause i think she is jealous.
hey - maybe thats it - all these comments we from peoples that are jealous of others being able to seamlessly maintain some sorta figure.

I just can't wait to prove the dr's wrong and show that you can be overweight, pregnant, and healthy without Gestational diabetes. They are making me do the 2 hour one at 26 weeks. Now I have no family history of GD or D I am just overweight. So you know I love to prove how healthy an overweight person actually can be pregnant!

I hate this! I'm 180cm tall, 64kg pre-preg, and at 7m gone people thought I had been made redundant when I said I'd be not around in the new year. In fact, at 8m gone I was asked why we wanted rid of a 2-seater sports car! Don't look pregnant my still-trim backside, what's this giant bump then? MiL told me her bumps were bigger than mine, I pointed out I'm 30cm taller than she is! Sadly I couldn't tell my mum that as we're the same height, but she was shocked my bump wasn't identical to her bump with me.

At 24w I was told I was still in the looking fat, not looking pg stage. People are so nice!

hope u told em to pi$$ off ryn!!!

Good luck Jacqui - you can be "pleasantly plump" and not get sick in your pregnancy - people are such idiots there are reasons why some people weigh more than others and you just can't win in pregnancy - you're either TOOOOOOOO BIG or TOOOOOO SMALL - I'd say you're just perfect for who you are - you may even find that you've lost weight once the pregnancy is over

Don't stress, I've heard worse. Once at work one of my male coworkers overheard a female worker discussing her pregnancy & blurted out "are you pregnant". She was 7 months pregnant at the time and most of the office couldn't tell as she was very short & quite overweight therefore her figure hadn't changed. The poor guy is still embarrassed about the comment.

I'm the opposite of you. I'm overweight and for about 3 or 4 months now have looked pregnant as I have developed a pregnant looking high belly if you know what I mean (as against the low pot belly) and I have been living in fear of people thinking I am pregnant. I've now tested positive so (all going well) I at least have an excuse for the belly even though I'm way to early to show yet.

I know exactly how you feel!! I am 170cm tall and when i went for my first appointment with the midwife on Monday,i was weighed at 130kg..so yes..a larger women,like 60%(or more!)of the population is.

I am 20 weeks pregnant and also dont look pregnant..in my eyes,just fat as always!*L*

Was the same when i had my daughter too,even up to the her birth day i could still wear my 'normal' clothes.
From start to finish i had only put on 1 kg. I did have GD though,so i think being on the diet helped alot with the no weight gain,and then in losing alot of weight after the birth..just a shame it all had to come back on again..but,me is me.

Just had my 20 week US today,and our baby is perfect and healthy! Growing as it should and everything in place!

Also found out the sex..*drum roll*


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Thats really horrid hun ignore them! I have the opposite prob Im getting told I already look preg and im 10wks! I take it as in a "wow you're getting fat already!" type comment when I've only put on 4kgs so Im tech not classified as underweight anymore. I just don't think ppl realise how hurtful they are being.

I like the tips for waddling and hands on back and tum lol, any for sucking it in for another few weeks? lol

Just keep thinking, like I think someone else said, you are making a beautiful gorgeous little bubbers inside of you that's all that matters tell the rest of the nasty twits to bugger off and try and be happy in yourself and the amazing thing your body is doing :D

I was 65kg (167cm) pre pregnancy and have put on 5kg (18 weeks). I still don't look pregnant just fat. It's driving me up the wall. Trouble is, my somach was in good shape before I got pregnant and pratically concave so now I just have a pot belly (oh yeah, and massive boobs!).

I just want to look pregnant!!!!!

I know my DH is trying to be supportive and is conscious that I am concerned I just look fat after years of going to the gym to stay in shape. But he said the other day "I can't wait until you look pregnant so I can take you everywhere to show you off".

So I'm guessing I don't look pregnant and maybe we aren't going places at the moment because he doesn't want to be seen with a fat wife! Yeah, I know the hormones have a part to play in the sensitivity, but absolutely no one has commented on how I am looking pregnant. Between that and having more pimples than when I went through puberty, I am feeling pretty rotten about myself - they don't tell you this bit about pregnancy.

Hi,

Ignore them.

I am getting annoyed because people are having trouble telling that I'm pregnant. I'm 22 weeks now and people are still asking me when I'm going to get Fat. (not that I'm slender though either)

I was 63kg and only about 160 cm when we conceived and now I'm only about 69kg, but I think I'm carrying back towards my spine. Everyone is expecting me to have this classic Prego belly, and I'm afraid it just aint happening.

It is starting to get more noticable, so I now in the next month I'm going to end up with the finally you look preggo comments. I just rmember how much easier it will be after bubs has arrived, so I get my girlish figure back (lol, I havn't had one of those sinceI was 18):lol:

I feel for you all with the comments.
I am 23 weeks, and look completly huge. At work last week a midwife (I work in a hospital), said to me 'not long to go now'.
I said 'I am only 22 weeks' she asked if I had had all of my tests and ultrasounds done. Suggesting that I didn't know what I was talking about.
She said that I looked way bigger than I should be. :wall: Like I hadn't heard that before.
I was a 14 to start with and d cup in the boob department. Now I am a DD and apparently they havn't stopped growing yet. All my coments are 'look how big you are' and 'look at your huge boobs'.
It gets me worried that my baby is getting too big. My ob says that he/she is normal and healthy- and for that I am very grateful!!!

Good luck to all us BIG or SMALL bellied women as we embark on this journey. May we feel content just knowing that our bubs are growing well- it doesn't really matter what we look like on the outside.

Just an update on my growth:

I sware I wake up every morning and look down at my belly and each day my belly is getting higher then my belly button iykwim. Then I put on my beloved 3/4 jean pants I bought last week, and there was no way they were doing up. It seems my fundal height has taken a nice jump to welcome me into 19 weeks!

I am feeling more and more pregnant this week as everything is kicking in like.....
Colostrum in my Boobs (TMI sorry)
Movements are through the roof, I have found bub hates it when I sit forward as bubs kicks like crazy till I move to another position.
Muscular pains in my thighs...reminding me of the body changes.
And every second person saying..."How are you feeling?"
You all must have sent my family and friends caring vibes as now they are all asking me how I am feeling..am I excited....

So thanks. I hope others who read this forum can get some light on what it feels like and understand that it will happen...just not overnight.

Geez, I hate it when people comment on my belly. For some reason I am much more sensitive this pregnancy that with my son, but it is still rude. I was showing pretty much straight away this time, and certain people tell me every time they see me. It drives me insane!!!

Isn't it amazing that in general, it is offensive to comment on someone else's weight, but as soon as you are pregnant, people think they have they right to comment on your size/shape etc!!! And many people aren't sensitive about it.

I think we all get these silly comments. A friend of mine is getting sick and tired with the "are you sure you're not having twins" comments and even her GP is saying "Bella, you can't push this one out!" while her Midwives and OB seem to think that everything is normal. She wasn't skinny to start with, but with narrow hips and not very tall, so I think it just looks bigger than it is.

I on the other hand am 1,70cm tall, not skinny either and with wide hips. Most of the time I hear "You're so tiny, I can't believe you're this far along" and "this is definitely gonna be a girl!"

Actually, I'm just glad that people can now tell that I'm actually pregnant. Although I still find it weird when strangers comment on the fact that I'm pregnant.

Then the other day a guy that I deal with for work (but who thinks for some reason that we're mates) greeted me with "hey fattie, how are you?" I couldn't believe it. I mean, lucky I'm not self-conscious. Most women would have been horrified at that comment. I was just horrified at his lack of manners. Even my DH, who was there, was shocked. We were actually both too shocked to say anything.

So don't worry about what they are saying. People are dumb and insensitive. Everyone looks different. And who really cares?!? I mean, as long as the baby is fine, nothing else matters. Don't let somebody else's idiocy spoil your enjoyment of this bonding time with your child. This is the only time you'll have him/her to yourself and you'll never be this close again.
Good luck to everyone!

Alex