The Baby Whisperer

Has anyone else read this book by Tracy Hogg? It is brilliant! I have started to put Nicholas into a routine, and this book details everything you need to know about your baby and how to get them to settle (No controlled crying!!) in fact, she says leaving your baby to cry makes them feel abandoned and may be detrimental to their mental health later in life. A lot of the book is commone sense, but I have to say, when you are exhausted and your boobs are sore, and all you want to do is whatever it takes to get them to sleep, sticking to her suggestions actually works!

Just thought I would pass this on in the hope that it may help some other exhausted mum! :D

Shannon - yes, she is the British woman. She does the pick up, put down routine, and says not to hold onto them for too long. It is working for me so far!

Don't like her. She said that colic is caused by the baby not being in her routine.

Don't know how she gets those babies to sleep in their own beds, I've tried her methods and no way is DS going for that. Also, how many nappy changes? About twice as many as I do, and I'm using cloth!

Otherwise, sound advice though.

I bought this book, but I didn't get a chance to read it before my baby was born. Then I was sooooo tired after he was born, I didn't have the energy to read my mail :)
But I think I will read it before next one is due.

My advice to all expectant mums is to read as much as possible before baby pops out.

I borrowed this book from a friend who loved it, but I didn't like it at all! I found her really condesending, and all the stuff about how bad "accidental parenting" is which to me is stuff we do naturally like feeding to sleep.

Each to his own, I'm glad you found it useful!

Also hated the term accidental parenting. I found the book interesting, but hard to implement. Just did not work for us and I feel in one way it made things worse for us, but I can see how it would work for others. After watching her on TV, I felt that is probably works well if you have her direct support. She seemed liked a lovely lady, pity she is no longer with us.

Ended up giving my books to the local MCHN to lend out.

I agree that the book was interesting but ultimately didn't have all the solutions for us. I particularly found some of the routine advice detrimental to breastfeeding and it is simply nonsense about the feeding to sleep. My DS simply stopped this when he was ready and now is a brillant self settler, but not before he was ready!!!

With most things I read, I take the bits that work and forget about the bits that don't and trust instinct mainly, because nothing is written specifically for me or my bubs!!!

Yes, some mums find the book really useful and that is great!

We were loaned this book before we had Natalie and it along with others made me really stressed out! They all say, 'start how you mean to go on' and I reckon you just don't know how you mean to go on straight away!
I'm enjoying flicking through it now, though. I'm confident enough to implement different strategies these days because I think Natalie and I know each other better now. So I'm not afraid to just take what I want and leave the rest.

With regards to the start as you mean to go on I think thats something you learn after your first LOL! But my heart does break for little bubba's who have habits set up from birth and then they need to change out of convenience (which is fair enough) but it is tough on them and mum & dad too!

I haven't read the book, but from the reviews here I can't say its something I'd pick up.

*hugs*
Cailin

I was surprised to see so many people didn't like this book. I loved it and found a lot of the stuff worked for me. I couldn't bear the thought of controlled crying so I found the pick up put down to be really helpful. But as with everything I read, I take what I need from the book and discard what I don't find usedful. As for what she said about the colic, I must have skipped that part cause I don't remember seeing it.

im really into books at the moment, its great to read them, even if you get one piece of information or advice and you think 'hmmm i like the sound of that, i'll try it'.... with a lot of the books i read, i decide what will work and what won't, and make my own 'routines' and strategies etc... at the moment have got 'the no cry sleep solution' and 'save our sleep' which both are VERY different but i am finding both useful.

i think with changing any babies 'bad habits' ie not sleeping in their own bed etc, it is going to take some crying and protesting as you teach them the new way, i don't necessarily think this is always a bad thing, you just have to keep the bigger picture in mind... we went through DAYS of crying and horrendous screaming when teaching hollie, but now she is just a much happier baby and seems to sometimes even look forward to getting out of mummy's arms and into her cot. she is quite the independent little sleeper now.

that said, i have been hopeless with deciding whether to get rid of her dummy or not, ahhaha.

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i think with changing any babies 'bad habits' ie not sleeping in their own bed etc, it is going to take some crying and protesting as you teach them the new way, i don't necessarily think this is always a bad thing, you just have to keep the bigger picture in mind... we went through DAYS of crying and horrendous screaming when teaching hollie,

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Ummm this is the Comforted sleep section (no-cry). I for one do not agree that crying is always necessary to change habits. I certainly try to minimise it.

Agree with you there Astrid there are other gentle techniques. And sorry if I implied they were bad habits, because IMO its usually because thats what suits the family at the time, and like all things that changes. I didn't really mean to suggest any habits were bad. As what is not fine for one family works well for another.

*hugs*
Cailin

sorry caro, i was responding to someone who was marvelling at how this woman got the babies to sleep in their own beds, so was assuming this was a problem for that person, i think it was ryn... (???) thats why i referred to it as a bad habit.... i would actually LOVE it if hollie would sleep in the bed with me, but sadly she won't... am hoping that when she gets a bit older she will learn to appreciate cuddles in bed!!

didn't mean to offend. i don't think it is a bad habit at all!! i guess it only becomes a bad habit if it has become a problem for the parents..

but i still do think some crying is inevitable when you take something that they have become used to away, like a dummy for example, which is why hollie at present is in bed sucking on hers!!

oops just saw the other posts above Caro's.... i also try to minimise crying, i think it is the hardest thing in the world to listen to.... sometimes hollie does this crazy talking with the dummy in her mouth and yelling too like funny jibberish (i swear she has been on this earth before), it is a funny little sound, but sometimes she wants/needs to do this before she nods off to sleep... they are all so unique and i think only a mummy knows what is best for her baby and whatever works for you is obviously working for you, IYKWIM.

caro i think its great if you pick your babies up immediately if they cry and it is obviously working for you.... for me, i try to work out the cry and respond accordingly, sometimes hollie has just woken between sleep cycles and likes her face to be tickled as she drifts back off to sleep, and had i of picked her up, it would have disrupted her sleep for example.... other times she has kicked the covers off, and sometimes she has just woken with a fright and needs to hear a reassuring voice that everything is alright. And of course there are the times when she just seems to want a bit of an extra cuddle and I relish those times and savour them!!

LOL yes this is a no-cry sleep forum on a gentle parenting site, so you'll find the majority in this section don't follow routines especially if they involve crying! We tend to use sleep rituals in this area, or follow baby's lead...

I had no option but to co-sleep, yes honestly... after an extended stay of two weeks and failing with a baby who then threw up and wasn't 'happy' for some time, the only way we could sleep and know our daughter trusted us was to co-sleep. She started to want to go into her own bed at 2, but pops in occasionally, usually when she is sick or feeling insecure about something. But when she is not there, gee I miss her. My son too. I LOVE holding them so tight in bed and waking up next to them. I have a story in one of Pinky's books that she included, when my daughter was about 1.5 years old, I woke to find her kneeling by my head, planting a kiss square on my lips. It was the most divine experience I ever had as a parent. There is no way I could use any sleep routines, I lost the plot along the way with my son for a bit, but was back on track once I reminded myself to let go of judgements and to reach out for some support from some good friends.

Can I just say I would love it if my kids would co-sleep from time to time *wah*

We brought Seth in our bed last night and all he did was play and muck up till we put him back in his own bed LOL!

*mwa*
Cailin

Can I ask a q about co-sleeping? This is not something I am entirely comfortable with b/c I cannot seem to fall asleep for fear of the doona covering DD face or me rolling on her etc.... We occassionally bring DD into bed with us if she we cannot settle her for her to go back to sleep in her own craddle etc... but it is not something I want to do all of the time. Is there a link or website that talks about safe co-sleeping? I went on the Sids & Kids website but they don't seem to support co-sleeping.

The ABA has cosleeping beds and products here.

For co-sleeping advice and info check out Dr James McKenna's website, he has the only mother baby sleep lab in the world, advocates safe co-sleeping and is an expert in this area.

http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/

I hate co-sleeping, I will admit, but it's the only way for us to get any sleep so I will do it. I want my DH back though!

Look up colic in the index of baby whisperer and you'll see what I'm talking about.

Also, I did start as I mean to go on: responding to my son and aquiescing to his needs asap. That ain't "accidental", that's what we're designed to do. When needs become wants, that's the time to start saying no.