Friends of ours are getting married soon and they are having a wishing well.....ive never liked the idea of giving money but thats their choice.
SO......how much is a respectable amount to give???
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Friends of ours are getting married soon and they are having a wishing well.....ive never liked the idea of giving money but thats their choice.
SO......how much is a respectable amount to give???
If you feel uncomfortable about it, just place your money in the well, and then give them a separate card and say that you did contribute, so that way they don't have to know how much you put in. I personally don't like wishing wells and will buy someone a gift - have been stung too many times like that.
I would give about $50 myself for a wedding.
I would give $50 I think as this is usually my limit for a wedding pressie. We dont spend that much on Christmas or birthday pressies but a wedding is a one off.
We had a gift registry but a lot of ppl bought other things or gave cash. I made sure when sending a thankyou that I mentioned that the cash was put towards a frige. People liked that.
we had a wishing well for our wedding as we lived together for years beforehand. people gave us anything from $20 - $100 but the average was $50. but we were happy with anything or just a card.... $20 is fine
I think you should give as much as you would spend on a present. Personally we usually put between $50-$100in depending on how close we are too the people. We had a wishing well for our wedding and we got everything between $10- $500 in envelopes.
Thanks everyone. We are on a bit of a budget cos of moving house next month, bills, DD and preg costs... ill talk to DH what he thinks about how much. He is like me, hates giving money cos people could waste it on anything....
We had a wishing well for our wedding, we had friends who paid what they could, one lot gave us $40 because that is all they could afford - we ended up giving it (and more) back to them when their first bub was born a few months later because we knew they couldn't afford the $40. If they're true friends, they won't mind if you can't give a lot, we were touched that some of friends even made it there (we had 2 lots of friends who were pregnant & struggling a bit financially - we didn't expect anything from them other than their presence at our wedding).
We also had an option of gift vouchers from one of our fave stores - some friends got together and pooled their money and got us a $100 voucher (there were 6 friends who pooled).
if you dont like cash, do as mentioned - gift vouchers. we got heaps for target and i bought a knife set i would never have afforded by ourselves and a booster seat for our 2 year old....
personally it wasnt about how much people gave us, we were just happy they showed. its just we had all the essentials and didnt want people to waste money on goods we didnt need. plus the wishing well makes it private and nobody else knows what you did or didnt give. a friend who was strapped for cash and gave us $50. we felt so guilty they had done that so we took them out for a buffet dinner a couple of weeks later.
I've been to weddings with wishing wells before, and have always given about $50.
Personally, I love it, because I'm so disorganised with buying presents that it makes things much easier for me lol.
It depends on my budget. If we can afford it, I try to make the present around the value that the bride&groom have to pay for us to attend, if that makes sense.
They have that for an engagement party im going to and a wedding. They are requesting on their wedding invitation the amount it costs to have each person, i.e. if it's $70 per head they are wanting that etc. I think that is a bit rude because not everyone can afford it and while they want to cover their expenses it isn't everyone elses responsibility if they want a super expensive wedding but expect people to come.
Im a bridesmaid so have to pull $300 out my arse for a dress I can't afford and probably won't like either. I told her if she chooses dresses over $300 I'm not paying because I can't even afford the $300 thats my condition if she wants me to be a bridesmaid.
Personally depending on financial situation I think $20 for distant, and maybe $50 or more for close close friends and family if you can afford it.
CelticMoon - I agree, thats pretty rude. I do tend to try to spend that much, but I've never been asked or expected to!
I feel better now - my cousin did this, she got married when I was about 3m pg, I gave her £25 ($60) and no longer feel tight about it!
It's very rude to ask for a specific amount - I know when we did a wedding list we put things on there for £3 and some things for £200 (wishful thinking, but someone did buy us the dinner service!) so people could have a good range. I would be too embarrassed to ask for money, let alone a specific amount!
If I were asked to pay £30 ($75) per head to attend (so £60 for me and DH, maybe even £90 if they included DS in that), as well as getting there, new outfit (at least for DS), hotel... I just wouldn't go. I would spend that amound on a gift if I loved the person a lot, but not for them to pay off a wedding bill!
For our wedding we had the option of a small gift register with a variety of prices (for those who prefer to buy a gift or wanted to buy something as a group) and a wishing well. We had been living out of home for over 10 years and living together for about 3 years. When we sent out thank you cards we put a photo of the cabinets we had made out of recycled timber in with it to show what their money had contributed towards. I LOVE my cabinets :) and we wouldn't have been able to afford them for ages without the help.
OMG they should have a cheaper meal option if that is the case!:
I don't mind giving money and would probably give $50. I'd usually end up spending that much anyway by the time I've got a pressie and wrap for it.
I spoke to my gf who had a wishing well and she said the average was $50+ but she also said that she wouldn't have minded what it was, it was purely to save people spending money on stuff they already had and they didn't really need anything else for their home. So if people felt as though they wanted or needed to buy a gift this was another option, however they did have people who still gave presents and that was fine with her too.
I think the wishing well is a great idea especially for long standing couples or those who might not otherwise afford a honeymoon etc.
*hugs*
Cailin
we had a wishing well for our wedding - we'd both had fully furnished houses before we got together, so there was nothing we really needed (in fact, we were giving stuff away) - but our house needed major renovations - we asked that, if people had trouble deciding, that they get bunnings vouchers so that we could paint the house through. we got a lot of vouchers, mostly around $50 but anywhere from $20-$150, and were able to buy the pain the whole house inside, all the painting we needed outside, accessories, new lighting for inside, and half the pickets for the front fence. it was so nice to be able to show people what they're contribution went toward. we asked for vouchers though cos we know people who got married the year before us and asked for money for their front fence. it's now 28 months later, and they still don't have their fence - or anything else to show for the money. a lot of the same people were going to be at our wedding, and we wanted to let them know it wouldn't be wasted!
we also got some gorgeous keepsakes from people - and they meant just as much - don't feel obliged to put money in if you'd prefer to get them something small and personalised..
Personally I prefer to give money for weddings, particularly as both DH and I have very large families (and hence soooo many weddings!) and I'm just too lazy to shop for the perfect present for all of them. In our tradition though, we usually give money as a gift so the married couple can put it towards what they want, and we will try to cover our 'per head' cost...usually that's a minimum of $100 for the 2 of us. People still also buy gifts which is fine also.
My main problem is when people specifically ask for money only - leaving u no option to buy a gift...I don't really think that's fair as like most of you have mentioned, not everyone is comfortable giving money or can afford a lot to give. Although I come from a background where giving money as a gift is the norm, I don't like to be told it's my only option! *lol*
We had a wishing well at our wedding, and people gave us amounts from $50 up to $300. I didnt relly care how much people gave us. We did the wishing well because we were living together and had a house full of stuff and didnt really need anything in particular except a new sofa... so it was really so we could raise money to get a new sofa lol.