What am I doing wrong?

I am sooooo over this.

DS has previously done a 7-hour stint. He CAN sleep through.

But now he's awake all night. And I mean all night. I can get him to sleep between 8 and 8.30 (the routine is helping a lot, I make sure he goes to sleep in the crib too, although I still have to jig him toget him to close his eyes at the moment - I have even managed to get him to sleep in his big bed and that's no rocking).

He wakes up about 10 minutes before I think about going to bed - whenever I think about going to bed. Could be 9.30, could be 11.30. And that's it. He won't just be fed back to sleep. He's screaming all night. I change his nappy, I do skin-to-skin, I try to feed him (he isn't hungry), I try to co-sleep, I try to jig him back to sleep, nothing works! The little bugger is now asleep in his chair, nothing will wake him. Well no wonder, he had less than 4 hours sleep all night! Which means I had less than 2 very interupted hours sleep, only I can't sleep during the day.

What am I doing wrong? I'm dosing him up on Calpol before bedtime in case it's pain from teething, I let him have a dummy again in case it's sucking, I stick to the routine, I play with him during the day to tire him, I try limiting daytime naps, why won't he sleep for more than a few hours at a time and why won't he go back to sleep?

(BTW, is control crying whacking him in bed at 8pm and not picking him up until 8am, just using ear-plugs overnight? Because I'm having so little effect I'm thinking that this method would at least make me feel like I'm doing something, rather than everything I do just upsets him and is a failure.)

Oh Ryn you poor love! Mads has given some sound advice, but to it I would add - just because a baby CAN doesn't mean they WILL!

I am LOL but serious! I remember Flynn once slept 7 hours at a stretch when he was about 4 mo and I don't think he did it again till he was over 8 months! And now, he eats something happily one day and then a week later won't have a bar of it.

And I'm not sure if others think this is true (I am of two minds) but a GF's mothercraft nurse-mum says "the more babies sleep, the more babies sleep", meaning quality day time naps makes it easier to get em to sleep at night. I don't know about you, but I know if I am BLOODY tired I am sometimes too tirede/wired to get to sleep and I actually feel kinda sick.

sending you heaps of sleepy baby vibes....

Oh, thats awful. How frustrating for you... hope you get some possible solutions soon....

i agree with rory, sleep makes sleep, i wouldnt be limiting day sleeps as this may be making him overtired at night, hence he wont sleep, just let him guide you for naps during the day, DD still has around 5 sleeps a day!!!!

Well, he has just done over two hours in his chair... men! That was after a 40-minute primer nap too. He will now stay awake until 2pm, when we go to a funeral - he can sleep through that. He normally only does 30-60 minute naps during the day, even on me or in his carrier (unless I force him back to sleep).

He's not feeding enough during the day for it to be a growth spurt, nor is he hungry at night, but he is teething and has a cold - but can breathe through his nose, albeit loudly.

DH, for once, has a good excuse to not help - he's having a nose job today and needs looking after (by me) for the next few days. Not happy about that, but the leaflet I've been given says he can do housework after day 3... that means he WILL if DS is still like this.

I don't want to let him cry it out, but all the sleep training I can find on-line suggests this is the only thing that works for a baby over three months old.

Does he feed to sleep Ryn? Sammy was so similar and has never really been a great sleeper...but thankfully during the night he always and still does wakes/feeds and goes straight back to sleep. I do think though that like the girls have said limiting the sleep during the day (not sure how you can do that anyway!) will only make a tired, grumpy baby for the night. I personally wouldnt let him cry it out..as frustrating as it is..its frustrating for them as well.

Jo

Very rarely feeds to sleep - he will do (or rather, once upon a time he did) this in my bed, but not for his bed. He usually has bath, massage, story, prayers, feed, lullaby, lowered into bed once he starts to close his eyes. Then if he still needs my voice I just read aloud from my book.

He will take a 10-minute nap after daytime feeds sometimes, but not always.

90 minutes? Wow, DS is usually up for 3-4 hours at a time and I can't force him to sleep before that. Even if I put him in the carrier he's awake and alert.

OK, he wants me, have to go!

Oooh, can you send one of the chaps then? LOL.

DS is napping now, but I'm going to hope it's a short post-feed one as I need to change into a skirt and change DS's nappy before PiL arrive to take us to a funeral. I also need to tidy up a bit as they may come back here later; they are going to pick DH up from hospital and I don't know if they want to go home and have dinner or stay here and have me make them dinner (frozen SC meaty food... I love freezing meals!).

DD still only lasts 90 mins!!!!! at 6 months!!!

Ryn does he ever ge thte stares??? long blank stares???

sending you HUGE hugs my sweet
you are a GREAT mother
I can't offer any help, I might ask DH when he gets home what he used to do with his boys when they were that age.
Just letting you know that I'm thinking of you & sending Samuel some SLEEP AT NIGHT FOR MUMMY vibes

My son did a similar thing. He was a great day sleeper and would sleep virtually all day but night time was bad. He was awake almost all night. Not crying but not happy. he just had his days and nights mixed up.

Where does he sleep for his day naps? Jacob was sleeping wherever he fell asleep but I found once I put him in his cot for day naps he slept a bit better at night. I also found the more we got out and did things during the day he slept better that night as well

He doesn't stare, he's alert, awake, watching things - he gets grumpy when he's tired, so I know when he's tired, but he is very awake and loves stimulation, even when he's been up 3 hours he loves it when he gets a massage, or kisses, or I exercise his limbs or he tries to grab something I'm holding.

Daytime sleeps are whereever - yesterday he was in his seat in the sitting room for the morning naps, the afternoon was sprawled on my lap as we were at a funeral, he often naps in his carseat/pushchair or baby carrier; if I put him to his crib or cotbed then he wakes up and I have to get him back to sleep - that's bad enough once or twice at night, not willing to do it all day! It took two hours to get him to have a 40-min nap in his cotbed once (he's outgrowing the crib, so will have to go into the other room, so I need him to settle in bed and sleep, but that's another story).

We are out and about every day, he is often awake for excursions now but still sleeps sometimes. I point out everything to him, like cars and shops and people; he voices his opinions on my bible studies (and gets loads of women telling him he's gorgeous and having a play there), he has his baby play clubs, has a few little friends... we're very active! DH loves wearing DS on walks and loves DS being awake; he wiggles his arms, talks about what we're seeing and loves all the other women adoring the two of them.

Last night DS did 7.50-8.30, then needed the lullaby and rocking again, 9-12, then went to sleep between 2-3 and slept until about 8 (well, I slept and woke up with a heavy chest, so assume he slept too). He had a tiny feed at 8 and another small one at 9.30. So it was a better night, but he's just proving he's not hungry when he wakes so could sleep more!

He was still screaming for hours and I just don't know why or what to do! I did leave him in his sleeping bag last night though; when he's out he kicks me too much.

Have you thought about ringing a sleep school and see what they suggest, As you are in england I don't know if you have them over there.,. Here we have a few and even though I never went to one I made man calls in the wee hours

I am going to look for one, but TBH we can't afford it and if they want me to let DS cry even for 2 minutes I am going to walk out.

Oh Ryn,

you poor thing! I am going to suggest that it is wind and ds may be in pain somehow! If he has a cold he may have a sore throat maybe you should take him to your gp to have a checkover just in case. My DD was sick and i thought it was teething and she had a cold at the same time, i took her to the doc and she had an ear infection, sore throat and sick as a dog! I didn't even pick up on it as i thought it was teething!

Anyway i can't offer much more advise at all maybe you could call your local community health centre as well to see why this is hapening and what else you can try,

Hnag in there you are doing a good job it is just one of those times that things don;t go right i am sure it will get better soon.

HTH

Jen

Do you think it could be something you're eating? I heard of a baby that was lactose intolerant but the mother wasn't....took them a while to work it out.

Or maybe he really, really liked DH's nose and is violently opposed to him getting a new one?!

Hey Ryn, sorry to hear that your little one is not a great sleeper.

Thought I would come in from a different angle, as this is something I really wish I looked into more back when Maggie was 2 months, not almost 2 years!

Have you looked at your diet? I am talking more than just caffeine, I am talking additives. I found out that Maggie is affected by yellow food colourings and I was having a heap. I was so concerned about caffeine that I turned to other drinks and they tended to be full of yellow colouring. Some of these colourings are also in breakfast cereals, yoghurts and icecreams. For you it may be a completely different additive or a particular type of food.

I really regret the pain, anger and resentment that came from Maggie's lack of sleep. It would be so frustrating to be trying everything for months on end, but of course nothing was going to work whilst she was chemically affected. Things are not perfect now, but they certainly are better. HTH

He has been better these last couple of nights, I've been forcing him to have naps, but his going into bed is still erratic. Maybe it was just the lack of naps? If he does daytime naps in the crib he doesn't sleep well at night, but 3 daytime naps and he sleeps for longer. Maybe I have to force him to sleep more!

I don't eat foods to which DH is allergic, very rarely have fake colours, eat boring food... tbh I'm sick of it! But will stick it out another year, then be pleasesd I'm not preggers again as I tuck into food I love!

Dummies - I hate the misuse my in-laws put dummies to so try to avoid them. When DS gave me a love-bite I did let him have a dummy, but he spits it out as far as he can hen I try it. He prefers my knuckles, shoulders and arms, or his fist. He doesn't even like his teething ring!

He is teething, the teeth are about to break through as you can see them, and we've both had a cold. I'm thrilled, his first cold was mild and we've started the cold antibodies!

Hey Ryn,

I can't help i'm afraid as DD is also doing some crazy erratic thing with her sleep patterns but i wanted to tell you that when i was a baby i was a NIGHTMARE and didn't sleep well until i was like, 6 or something, BUT my mum told me that she felt it was my intellect (child-genius, but where is it now?) making me so thirsty to learn. I still find it difficult to "switch off" now.

I was a straight-A student and i gave them the least worry as a teenager as i was so level-headed, and they always maintained the sleeplessness was worth this. So, no comfort for just now but i'm sure these things do balance out in the end....

:hug: for you

Hana

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Hey Ryn,

I can't help i'm afraid as DD is also doing some crazy erratic thing with her sleep patterns but i wanted to tell you that when i was a baby i was a NIGHTMARE and didn't sleep well until i was like, 6 or something, BUT my mum told me that she felt it was my intellect (child-genius, but where is it now?) making me so thirsty to learn. I still find it difficult to "switch off" now.

I was a straight-A student and i gave them the least worry as a teenager as i was so level-headed, and they always maintained the sleeplessness was worth this. So, no comfort for just now but i'm sure these things do balance out in the end....

:hug: for you

Hana

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Hana, I slept through from 8 weeks, slept until 8am every morning as a baby and toddler, was a child genius (although a B student at 16), would buy my mum chocolates/flowers when she was feeling fed up with the world, never went off the rails... my sister gave my mother 13 months of sleepless nights, is highly intelligent and was completely off the rails most of her senior school life - my mother still worries about her; she's now 24.

Still, who ever heard of a 15 year old needing rocking, jigging and singing to sleep, then crawling into their mother's bed the second they wake up? A big plus is that while DS doesn't sleep through I don't have to sleep with DH!

Needing a big feed every 2 hours overnight... well, he is due a growth spurt!

Hey Ryn

Just a thought, as you know as all Jemima does is sleep (only one wake up from when we brought her home as I dont count 10pm and 5am as i was awake anyway) (and then she dropped the 2am at 5 and a half weeks) she loves to cat nap, i dont know what makes her catnap but i just have an idea.... you are sounding like you will try anything... I cant believe YOU mentioned controlled crying!

anyhow.... you said that you go out everyday and that you point everything out and that you talk to him lots and you massage him and you exercise his limbs and stuff AND we all know how advanced he is with rolling and stuff like that.... could you MAYBE be overstimulating him?? Could he be so excited about what he 'learnt' in the day he just cant sleep?

When my neighbour was having 'trouble' with her bub (6 weeks old) she took the step of staying home for a couple of days in a row (she was HAVING to take bub to hospital to visit sick father for a week or two everyday) anyhow she found that when at home her baby was a lot less overstimulated and relaxed a lot more and then did some 7 hour overnight stints and more.....

Maybe DS just needs to have quiet awake time??

Perhaps he is feeling your frustration for him to "sleep through" and therefore doesnt understand so stays awake?

Oh Ryn! poor thing.

Naps during the day definitely helped our bubs learn to sleep better during the night. (its like practice sleeps)

Hope this improves for you.

Ann

Well, he has been more champion lately, but maybe he is overstimulated - we had a busy day yesterday and a bad night. But if we get up at 6.30 he sleeps better than if we get up 7.30-8, so maybe it's that. DS hates home days, we do have to get out for my sanity, but he's great at sleeping in the car and in the pushchair. I'll try to cut down to one "outside" activity a day as that helps. (For example, the day we did a trip to the beach he loved his sleep!) He does have quite a bit of quite time too, lying on his change mat playing with his hands, sitting in hias chair watching the fish, but he likes me playing with him more, even if it's a storybook or joining in on my tummy. I've been told to exercise DS's limbs, massage him and constantly talk to him to boost his brain, tbh I would have done that anyway as he loves it! But I will try cutting back - I've been feeling bad for not doing a running commentry some days!

I am wondering if it's my presense that wakes him - he often wakes just after I go to bed. He has slept through it a few times, but not often.

Day sleeps are frequently one cycle only, the odd long sleep, I just have to keep persevering with them I suppose.