Stranger Danger Vs. What to do when lost

I was having a conversation with my GF tonight regarding what each of us do when we know we're going to be around crowds, or if she's going on an excursion.

I normally give paris a piece of paper folded up with a dollar coin taped to it, it has our phone number on it so that she can either go to a phone (if she sees one close by) or to go into a shop and ask to call her mum.

Well thats all changed. My gf bought these identi bracelets from Target and it came with a book on how to teach your children what to do if they get lost.

1. Call out mum or dad's (whomever they are will) FULL name.
2. Find a Mother (with children), a police man or a shop person. (I LOVE the mother thing as they would definitely be a safe person iykwim?)

I thought these were good tips. And I love the name thing.

What do you do?

*hugs*
Cailin

Oh Cailin, thats a fantastic idea to teach a child to approach a mother with children.
My greatest fear is that somethine horrible could happen to DD and I am SO overprotective in that sense, but unfortunatley its not as simple as being over protective. Things happen all the time even to parents who think they are being careful.

Cailin, do you know the name of the book??

I was always taught that if I was lost to go tell the nice lady in the shop, or a policeman, and they would help me.

I had stranger danger drummed into me so much I still remember the nightmares I had about it all! I will be doing the same to DS - rather a couple of nightmares than him being as friendly to strangers as he is now.

Dee I'll check with her tomorrow and get back to you. As soon as she said Mother I said DUH of course why didn't I think of that!?

*hugs*
Cailin

My girlfriend writes her mobile number on her twins tummies and they know to only show it to someone like police...another mum etc like mentioned above...if they get lost...the kids love it and I'm happy to say they've only needed it once!

We always made a point of telling the shop person (works most of the time) but if we were ever any where else (the Royal Show is a good example) we would look around and talk about what to do if lost as soon as we arrived.

Glad to say the only time we ever lost DD we were in Target and she went straight to the staff and they paged us just as soon as DH said "I thought she was with you..."!

we were taught to look for a policeman, fireman, ambulance person or go into a shop. I remember at Primary school in Vic we were taught about the Safety House signs (you know the ones with the yellow triangle?) but I have to say, I can't recall the last time I saw one of those signs!!! Mum and Dad had us memorise out address and phone number. I always had trouble with our number so my parents had me remember the name of the Barricks Dad was working at - theory being whoever found me could call the barricks and the Duty Officer/NCO would be able to track down my Dad.

When I was about 8 the South Australian police had a thing at the show where they printed identity cards for children - they were laminated etc and looked a little like a mini licence. It had out photo, name, DOB, address and contact details for Mum and Dad. I carried mine around (even though some of the details were out of date) until I was a teenager!

Oh wow that is so great they are saying to go to a mother with kids now..its what ive always told my kids plus written our mob numbers on their tummies lol..much to their embarrassment at times lol.

Jo

My DD walks to school (she is 12yo).Because I don't drive she has had the benefit of years of discussing safety strategies as we have walked as pedestrians together. Everytime we walk the route to her school/shops we encounter something worth discussing... usually it's the speed of cars as most exceed the limit. Other times it's sizing up other people walking... sometimes my DD gets a 'bad vibe' from them even as they are quite a distance away. We talk about how she would avoid coming into close contact with people she doesn't have a good feeling about... and we have talked about which houses in the neighbourhood she could probably safely enter to seek help if need be... these are usually the houses with toys lying around, or a visible cubby house, other 'clues' that it is a family house. Also, as pedestrians we have actually gotten to know alot of people in our neighbourhood, especially the little old ladies who I stop to have a chat with etc. They are a wealth of information regarding who are the 'nice' neighbours ;) Anyhow, it takes a while to help your child to become street/stranger smart. IMO nothing beats actually getting out, on foot, and discussing scenarios as you walk.

I don't trust the whole 'tell the policeman, fireman, etc' anymore. Too many corupt and dogey people and its unfortunate that we have to think like that these days.

I love the look for a mother idea :)

Interesting article in the Herald Sun yesterday about the prevalence of "Helicopter parents" who are so over protective that that constantly "hover" over their children... gave an example of a teenage son being followed by his parents in their car as he travelled to school every morning in a bus.

I think being over protective is just as potentially damaging as allowing your children the appropriate level of freedom and trust. This is shown to me as my DD occassionally tells me: "my friend was dropped off by her mum so that she could walk to school with me... but she (the friend) had no idea about safety mum! She kept wanting to cross the road at the wrong time, she wanted to walk DIAGONALLY across intersections and she never stopped to listen if cars were coming around the blind corners... so dangerous!" Obviously these children have had very little experience of being pedestrians and having a parent take the time to explain road safety to them :( These same parents probably think I'm taking a huge risk alllowing my DD to walk to school but I know that, at the end of the day, my child is safer because she is street smart and their children are at a huge risk as their level of awareness seems not much greater than a toddler! Also, I'd like to add that I think that more children are injured inside cars than as pedestrians walking to school. there is also the 'hidden' risk to health of basically being unfit. My DD is very strong athletic who runs a 3km cross country race easily most weekends whilst most of her friends huff and puff after running 100m.

Bath, I do this with DS even now, telling him how to cross roads, look for cars et cetera. BTW, I could happily walk 26 miles in a day but not run 500m - but I do kwym about fitness levels in today's children.

Personally, I don't like the "tell another Mummy" idea - what do you do if a child comes up to you and says they're lost? I just don't think it's on if I'm dashing DS to the doctors or somethng that I am deemed appropriate to take charge of a random child. Yes, I'd want to help the child, but if I'm out it's because I have things I need to get done usually and I wouldn't know what to do in that situation.

I personally would rather put myself and be late to an app to help a lost child, for the simple reason that it would break my heart to think a child is lost, and in return if it was my DD i'd like to think that someone would do the same for me.

Yes, I'd want to help, but how do you go about finding a lost parent while knowing that your child is late for something important? I don't mind prolonging a shopping trip or missing a coffee, but how to find the parent?

Also, what if the child approaches someone who isn't a Mummy, maybe a teenage babysitter? Yes, they are with children, but would you feel happy with that?

I wouldn't have a blind clue even now, short of taking the child into every shop in town and park and looking for someone who that child would identify as their mother.

I'd trust a female babysitter more than an unknown male, and yes that sounds sexist and horrible but its reality.
I'm sure if there is a lost child that their mum culdn't be all that far away in most situations.

You are such a dill Ryn (and I say that with endearment). I bet if some forlorn lost little kid came up to you in tears looking for their mummy you would most definitely help! You wouldn't be able to help it those mummy hormones would be rushing! As for the teenage babysitter thing, doesn't really happen much here in Aus anymore I think we all got too paranoid LOL!

If it happened to me and I was in a rush I'd simply phone the police on my mobile, or take them to a nearby safe point, get the name of the person I left the child with along with the store location etc and their number so I could check up later to make sure their parent had been found.

Otherwise I'd probably help them look for mummy or call the police and find out what the best action was.

Darn kids always such an inconvenience (tongue in cheek) ;)

*hugs*
Cailin

I find it interesting that people would rather their child approached a random female with no identifying features other than being with children at the time, over a person in uniform for police, fire brigade, ambulance etc. It is mentioned that people are dodgy and corupt - mothers are not exempt from this, just because someone has children doesn't mean they are good people, iykwim. I would much rather my child approached a policeman etc over a random person with children.

I think the thing for me is, how many police/firemen etc do you see wandering the streets? Or at a Park? I can't remember the last time I saw someone in a uniform patrolling the streets. I would hate to think if Paris got lost she would wonder off from her spot trying to find someone that isn't even there, where as there are plenty of parents around. And yes there are always going to be dodgy characters but I think I would prefer she found a mother before some dodgy person found her.

I still think the yelling out mother's full name at the top of their lungs is the best approach.

*hugs*
Cailin

Years ago on one of the current affairs programs they had something along the lines of this for leaving with a stranger:

Give you child a secret word that only you and they know. If someone says "mum and dad asked me to pick you up from school today etc' the child needs to ask what the secret word is. If they can't tell them they don't go - probably easy for them to pick a child up and walk off but still worth considering. Also easier to explain to an older child.

Very valid point Cailin. I like the secret word idea nikbrad.

Some great ideas in here and i have used mostly all of them over the years with my DS, i like the idea of walking with them and asking them what they feel about that person etc, good idea

After watching Oprah once though all my thoughts were out the window on my DS soaking any of what i said in! Every kid let them in or got in the car on that show!

Another one to tell your kids is 'Adults would never ask a child to find there dog or ask for directions anywhere, they would ask another adult'.

I have also told my DS if anyone ever grabs him to drop to the ground with all his weight and yell 'this is not my parent' over and over rather than yell 'help'

I've got the identikids bands also as my DS#1 is abit of a runner - although haven't used them yet.

As abit of an aside - how old were your kids when you started with the whole stranger danger talk and learning names, places, who to go to help for.???

I've lost Oscar once - in Target (that day i bought the indentikid bands!!!) - he was gone for a whole 5 minutes and it was the longest ever as he would have had no idea what to do and i was starting to panic but i guess 2 1/2 is too young - i don't want to frighten him and look at every stranger as a potential threat but would want him to notice if someone was being over friendly. Gosh it's so hard these days - our parents don't know how good they had it!!!

Julie x