help, i cant take it anymore!

Ok so we finally sorted out Masons feeding problems...now we have a settling problem!

He sleeps so well at night time (most of the time). He wakes for his feeds but generally goes straight back to sleep.

During the day, he refuses to lay down. He wants to be held all the time and I cant possibly do this.

My house is upside down, I am so exhausted mentally and physically and I cant stand the screaming anymore.

If we go out, he is an angel. But i cant possibly sit at the shopping centre EVERY day :(

Oh boy, I remember this all too well. The pram was my saviour! I put him in the pram, rocked him to sleep, and knowing he'd wake in about 20 mins or so, would just rock him back to sleep. He slept in the pram during the day for quite a while. Eventually we got back to the cot.

more :hug: for you!
DS did this a lot. Also you are nearly at 6 weeks which is a major growth spurt and really common time for newborns to be unsettled.
The only way you can hold him all the time is in a sling (well that i can see) so while thats not an option i would just try the pram like Liz suggested.
Forget the housework, I mean it bugger any visitors who come over if thats what you are worried about.

Oh Danni I know the feeling! My little one almost lives in her carrier during the day! I can still get most things done when she is in it! The movement of me getting stuff done also rocks her to sleep which is fantastic! She loves being close to me and having her in the carrier is the only way I get ANYTHING done! I highly recommend one!
I also found wrapping her up tightly just before she falls asleep will help - then I can get her to sleep in her basinett for awhile (just not as long as in the carrier).

Goodluck! Let me know what works for you!

xoxo

dani, no advice i'm afraid because we have the same problem. just wanted to say i know how you feel - plus i'm trying to work out how to heat my lunch and eat without waking dd who will only sloeep in my arms today...hmmm...

Danni,

Chelsea is exactly like Mason....Sleeps at night but not during the day!! Has been like it since birth...i just seem to get along.. some how??
lol

Have you tried sleep talks? Ive heard they help...ive not tried them, but Chelsea is slowly getting in day sleeps now, even if they are just catnaps!!

You are sooo not alone hun!
Izzy has been doing the same thing since she was born... Thank gawd i get that 7hour straight sleep during the night...
I put izzy down 15mins ago (i find she sleeps longer if she is on bean bag (but can't do this for longer either, when she starts to roll)) and she is starting to stir now...

Big hugs! and just do what's best for you... i agree with the other ladies - stuff the housework~ and ask for help if need be :)

do you have a sling or something you can wear around the house? WE bought a fisher price rocker thingy that swings when sophie was about 2 weeks old.....it seemed to settle her at those awful (5-7pm) times of the day !!

Hang in there
X

i bought a carrier and he hates it. He wants to face outwards not inwards so he can see everything! so thats a no-go

he wont go down in the basinette or rocker either, and he wont lay down on his play gym. He just wants to be in my arms :(

Hi Danni,

More of the same advice from me too i'm afraid. Yes we went through that too. Lots of walks if he likes the pram. (good for mum too to get out of the house and the fresh air did me good)

It WILL change. They will suddenly get it. But in the meantime this is his chance to bond with mum and its important for them (that's the way i saw it at least)

When does your partner get home? can he hold him while you spend some time on your own? run a bath, wash your hair etc. Dont do any housework.

Ann

TJ hated the carrier at first so I jiggled her in it (if your bubs likes being jiggled this may work)....goodluck!

ok i will try jiggling this arvo!

My dh has just started a new job. It means more money, but later getting home. Its hard for me to adjust and this is only his 4th day! But yes when he gets home he holds him for a bit while I do the washing, dinner etc,

same problem as me with my nine week old.... i have a hug a bub sling which u can put them in, in the same position as if u were nursing/cradling him.... might be worth a shot?? also the fisher price swing has been a god send... especially if we are wanting to eat dinner, we put hollie in there and it entertains her for a while....
it really does feel like it is never going to end though, doesnt it.

how u going Danni - your lil man sleeping?

Danni, I've had days exactly the same, and seriously thought I would go insane.
I ended up sitting in my recliner, watching McLeod's Daughter's DVD's for about 3 days straight. I just breastfed, then let Jambin fall asleep in my arms, breastfed again etc etc. The only time I got off the chair was to change his nappy (and I had unhealthy snacks beside the chair - sometimes you've gotta give up the idea of eating a healthy lunch).

That doesn't really solve your problem of getting Mason out of your arms, but if he's having a day like that, it might be easier to go with it, rather than fight it, IYKWIM.

:hug: It's bloody awful, I know. I hope things improve for you hun.

My daughter Leah was the same too. She never slept in the day, only in my arms. She was going off her brain one day there when I had to go to the chemist and 1 of those midwife/nurses was there and heard her (Leah was about 2 weeks old at the time). She took one look at her and said she had thrush in her mouth. I was sooooooo ticked off at this because I asked the hospital what the white stuff in her mouth was and they said "Dont worry about it. Its only milk." I bought Dactaren (no idea of the spelling) and put that on her and low and behold she went straight to sleep. After that she slept a little better during the day (2 or 3 sleeps for about 45 minutes).

I also wondered if the whole wanting to hold her all the time in hospital and when she first come home contributed to her wanting to be held all the time. I have one of those change tables on wheels and used to wheel her around on that all day so that she could see what I was doing and hear what I was doing (had the strap around her too so she didnt leap off). Leah also didnt sleep all that well at night either. She only started sleeping through about 2 months ago and she turns 2 on Wednesday. Ahhhh the joys of parenting.

Hopefully these things may have helped u.

P.S- Leah hated the rocker and bouncer too

Mason has been done now for about 2 hours! He is about to wake up though, but atleast I have had some lunch, expressed some more EBM and done a load of washing. I guess thats the main thing :)

way to go Mason! hehe.. izzy did 20mins were i was able to shower, then a friend came over started talkin ti izzy and she cried! so she picked her up, and she cried more untill in my arms! i definitly have a mummies girl!

thats great Danni. I am glad you get a break!

Danni, Lily was like this until my girlfriend (who's a midwife) suggested a few things to do with her:

Wrap her only at sleep time (Don't know if you already do it...) unwrap at awake times, like feed time, playtime...
Look for tired signs, like yawning, jerky movements, whinging... and try to catch them early
Use a trigger word at certain times like 'ninight' to go to sleep, 'hungry' at feedtime and repeat them to her a few times at these times.
Cuddle her until she's drowsy then put her into her cot/cradle (not too long though about 5-10mins should be enough).
If she cries do it again for two or three times then unwrap her and let her play until you see tired signs again, start again with the settling.

Each wake/feed/sleep cycle last for about two hours ( ie, 2hrs between sleeping, eating and sleeping again). Each sleep cycle is about 45mins for babies, if they wake after 45mins try to resettle for a while they may go off to sleep again, but if they don't go off to sleep again, wait til the next sleeptime.

This is what my friend told me and it seems to have worked for us. If the information is wrong sorry! But Lily is now sleeping well and even self settling! Though it has only been three days that we've been trying it, it may just be a fluke! Hope it helps you guys.

Kel

I hope he is coming around sweetie...

I wonder, do you have anyone nearby who can drop in there with you and maybe just take him to the shops/for a walk or something for you for a few hours - give you a chance to be you for a bit - a chance to get yourself feeling a bit normal again?

If I lived closer I would... but flying there for a few hours then coming back, is probably not that viable, right now!

Otherwise, having not much experience in that department I dont have much good advice...

Dani it will get easier beleive me.
Can you hold him to sleep and then lay him down????? I did this for a while with Jordan.
As the ladies said we also did the pram thing, the screaming is quiter when you are walking down the st :)
What about those baby sling things??? they lay down like you are holding them but you habe arms free to do whatever??? similar to babybjorn but they can be laying down.

Keen: my mum comes when she can...but she works 14 hour days so she is exhausted too. No one is free today to help, but thats ok...I just keep looking forward to the weekend and DH being home.

Tracey: I have a HAB. I just need the time to watch the dvd to work out how to use it.

he doesnt like laying down with me at all.

Dani i went throught the same with ruby.For a while i was pushing the pram round the streets and in the lounge at night.She went to sleep and thats all that mattered.Then it progressed to rocking and walking around with her in my arms until she fell asleep.I use to get real ticked off as i thought my life was a constant mummy baby holding machine! Now she has 2 naps a day,sometimes she will go to sleep other times rocked.Im not too worried as it does get better as the months go by. Keep working on it and he will click with the sleeping.

danni
i know how it is. My DH would leave in the morning with me on the couch with 2 babes besides me and come home at night to a dark house and me still sitting there in the same position, still in my PJ's
it will get better- but damm it is such a shocker
my two eventually would settle in bouncers next to me. I have also put them in the pram and gone on a walk around the lounge room!!
An electric swing was great when bubba gets a little older and swaddling does make a big difference
our local council has a woman called Norma Cowan who has done a DVD about setttling babies . I think its called " Sleep night, sleep tight." Most libraries should have it. She also offers baby settling programs which give hands on advice for settling babies. You may be able to look up info on the net

good luck - it is a faze and you can do this!!!!!
TAKE CARE AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!
Odette

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Originally Posted by Shannon https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...s/viewpost.gif
. Unfortunately, some kids are just wired this way I think. Good night sleepers, but shockers during the day - 20-40 minute catnaps at best!

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Eleanor is just like this sleeps 12hrs a night but get her to sleep during the day is a no go. At the moment i am trying to rock hr to sleep in her bouncy chair just so she has 20mins sleep. I can't even get her to sleep in her room during the day.

I hope things start to settle down for you Danni.

Danni hate to say it but my kids were the same too. Eventually they got daytime sleeping when they started sleeping through/crawling/walking more active etc. Seth has cut down his sleeps to 1.5 hrs a day and he's 14 months. Paris would have 2 sleeps till she was nearly 2 and 1-2 hours per sleep and then still sleep 14-16 hours at night, where as seth sleeps 10-12 hours per night. They are all individuals, I know its not much consolation but I think it does make it easier to know it is normal. And I found the thing that helped with with Seth was to lose any expectations when it came to sleep. Even now and even though he's been sleeping through for 6 months I still go to bed with the idea that if he wakes in the middle of the night thats ok and I'll cope. Its when I put expectations on Paris that I think added to the stress, which added to her stress which caused problems.

We bought an electric swing when Paris was 6 weeks old because she was a cuddly bubba and she wanted movement. It was a godsend!

*hugs*
Cailin

I agree cailin to lose the expectation and to not compare with other babies!!

i had a swing and then sold it cos my family/friends told me I wouldnt need it, or Mason wouldnt like it! Now i think i better buy one again

thanks guys.. :hug:

*hugs* Danni its hard work. Jovie sleeps really well at night but only cat napped until... last month? I soon gave up because with 2 you often don't have time to spend settling all day. So with Jovie I would just leave the house if it wasn't working and go to the park with Matilda and then she'd be tired when we got home & may sleep 45 minutes tops.

Danni the first few months with a new baby can be hard. I remeber the days i sat crying because i was so tired. Kimberley was a nightmare to get to sleep at night and woke every 3 hours. She did change after a while but still woke at night but not as much.

mason still wakes 3-4 hourly at night which is fine, as he goes straight back down after his feed. I give him EBM in a bottle at night and he drinks the whole thing in around 15 mins. So its not so hard being awake for a short time.

Hi

When Aaron was that age the only thing that would settle him was bouncing on a fit ball, dont know if it had anything to do with the fact I spent quite a lot of my pg bouncing and rocking on one!!! All I can say is it does get better, once Aaron turned 10wks he slept for 12hrs throught the night and had 1-2hr naps during the day with about 1-2hrs wake time. A friend on mine also showed me how to wrap him up(she had been showed how to do this by the nurses at PMH with her grandson), the first time we did this he slept for 4hrs during the day! Also sometimes they can have a very mild case of reflux which can be helped if you put a couple of phone books under one end of the cot which raises it just enough to stop it. The only other thing I can think of is to express some milk onto a pillowcase and have that in the cot next to bub and sometimes the smell of the milk is enough to make them feel as if they are next to you. If none of it helps ask a friend to come round and either do a bit of cleaning or to hold bub while you do some.

Hope it all goes well.
Sus

My DS was exactly the same when he was a baby and I found the answer for him! We bought him an Amby baby hammock and were able to bounce him off to sleep in it. He went from only sleeping in my arms to sleeping two hours at a time in his hammock. It was a lifesaver! I think he found comfort in motion, when he would wake up the hammock would rock with his movement and put him back to sleep. It may be worth a try if you get desperate. We bought ours second hand.

Oh gawd, I know exactly what you mean...I was the same for the first 3 - 5 months of Riley's life...I thought I was going insane because I was so exhausted. The one thing that gave me some peace was rocking...either in the rocking chair on my lap or in one of those battery operated swings (I didn't care that it costed us $140 for a couple of months use - those peaceful 5 minutes now and then were worth it). I basically spent all day and most the night on the rocking chair with Riley on my lap...it was HORRIBLE and I must say I don't have many good memories of those early days BUT it does get better eventually... Good luck!!!!

my baby hallie was exactly the same, i spent most of my time holding her because as soon as i would put her down she would wake up straight away. a friend got me a bubba sling....what a great invention! i was able to do everything i would normally do as it gives you 2 free hands and baby can be positioned in lots of different ways, even forward facing or forward with a slight recline for younger babies.......

i know it seems tough but they are all different, my 5 month old keira prefers to go in her bed and be rocked to sleep rather than held or slung.

if you havent already tried a bubba sling give it a go. it worked for me and it strengthens the bonding between you both.

hope this helps