When to push for IVF?

Hi,

This is just a frivolous idea i want to put out there.
I will seem very impatient but arent we all?

I am going for a lap in a couple of months after TTC #1 for 1 yr.
We would love to have more than one child so I am stressing about the months passing so fast while TTC for baby number 1.

A good friend of mine says, why dont you just go for IVF!! Between us we know quite a few women who ended up having IVF babies after long term TTC. Has anyone ended up on IVF and wished they'd somehow been able to go straight to IVF rather than having laps (maybe these cant be avoided), spent lots of money on the drugs, apointments, opk's etc.? I suppose you could have IVF and it fails bc of something you should have found in a lap. Gee I am answering my own questions!

Of course to conceive naturally is what I'd most like but I dont want to dilly dally either. When do you say,"right! IVF thankyou!"

thanks, sassba

My FS always does a lap first before starting your first IVF cycle.

I hadn't been TTC for long (not even a year but with mu history they thought it was best to do a lap and check, i was told IVF was the only way! at 23)

thanks for your reply loula. I am sorry to hear you had no choice, that is very young to be told you'd have to go to IVF when you wanted to conceive, that must have been very difficult.
I did figure there is at least a minimum of tests you need pre IVF. I am not acually thinking that I'd want to push for IVF, just curious when you should cut through the red tape.
I suppose I just wonder because I think there is a perception out there that you can just decide for yourself what happens next, I dont feel that you can do that at all, am I wrong?
I have been worried something is wrong with my fertility since funny things started happening last august but here I am almost 1 year later being told that now I better hurry up and get "properly" checked via a lap so as not to waste precious months trying to get pregnant. Now I wonder if i should have pushed to be checked out properly back then or within a few months after everything went haywire. Instead we waited kept trying and had to ignore the fact that something was just not right every month when AF arrived.
Oh well, that was a vent and a half:redface:. I am on cd1 so I can get like this when af arrives!
thanks again, sassba.

Hi Sassba
There are alot of things to consider on this challenging journey...and please don't be offended by this...but age is one of them. I have done the long journey through every other option before reaching IVF in 2005 (at age 34)...my advice to my cousin who is 39 and just recently married....has been TTC for 18 months... was to see a FS and get on with it! Her FS has recommended a Lap before commencing IVF...and she's jumping straight into it...I think you have to do what's good for you...if it feels right...anyway...best of luck!

Hi Sassba

I am 39 and we have been TTC for 18 months now. By the time we realised that there were potential problems (at the 10 month mark) we talked about seeing our GP and went. It took weeks to get results from the tests the GP ordered and then a follow-up visit and then a referral to an andrologist because DP's sperm tests were borderline but my results were all good. It took 8 weeks to get an appointment with the andrologist - more tests, another visit, more tests with results uncertain, then a referral to an FS - another three month wait. Then the first visit to the FS - a scan and more tests, discuss options, decide on IVF/ICSI, then start the down reg cycle this month! A long journey since Dec 05 when I went off the pill!

We found that my GP was a little concerned about my age by not concerned enough to refer us straight to an FS at an IVF clinic. Then the FS has told us that we are running out of time and that success rates for women into her 40s are not good.

So, I would suggest to you that if you have both decided IVF is the way, then push as hard as you can, because even once you get a referral to an FS there are still more tests to do and you can't always start on your next cycle. And who knows how long our journeys will be? Good luck with it all!

Cheryl

PS I don't have endo or PCOS so no lap required for me!

Hi Sass,
I think that your FS won;t ever let you go to IVF stage if he/she thinks there are other ways to get the same result. I don't think any FS would put you through years of waiting doing other forms of AC if they didn't think it would be a good option for you.
Definitely, please do the lap. You never know what might be there, and this could be the only step you need. You would be crazy to go through the whole IVF process only to find it would never work as there is some issue in the way.
But you can say to your FS that you are very keen to get going and if he/she thinks IVF is the best route for you, then you are keen to try it.
Can i say (don't be offended) i don't think anyone truely knows the ups and downs of an actual IVF process unless you've been through it. It's not a walk in the park. Please get some really good advice/counselling along with it. It can be traumatic and painful and expensive and time-consuming. If your FS thinks you can have a really good shot of getting pg using another method, then please consider it too. I hope you don't have to do IVF at all, and the lap is the last step you need in order to get your BFP.

Good luck - and i think we are all a little impatient when it comes to this crazy journey!

This is starting to worry me... I've been through a fresh cycle without a transfer because of OHSS and I'm working on a FET cycle at the moment... I've never had a lap.

Is it normal to start IVF without one?

BW

BW...I didn't have a lap right before IVF...had one due to ruptured ectopic and FS had a quick look around then...found some endo so I had surgery in Dec before starting another cycle...always worth asking FS though...put your mind at ease...the last thing you need now is to be worrying...take care hun..lots of luck xxxx

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When do you say,"right! IVF thankyou!"

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Right now ... you have been TTC more than 6 months and you are over 35. You are not being impatient but very sensible IMO.

I am sorry you had had no success after 1 yrs ttc. I wouldn't delay it any longer. To be honest they say after 6 months when you are over 35 yrs is more than justified.

I had one natural pregnancy @37yrs - but our daughter was stillborn @6 months gestation. Ours was unexplained infertility. After 6 months after she died , the OB suggested IVF. No tests, no investigations because I ws 38 - fast approaching 39. I got referal from GP though to another clinic and GP referals are better. OB ones only last a few months.

I had my appointment in 7 weeks. I then started the very next cycle after AF and one special internal ultrasound - SONOHYSTEROGRAM and my husbands Sperm analysis that was presumably normal.(though they never said and we did normal IVF with great fertilisation results).

I only had SHG because I had a very scant amount of menstrual bleeding after a curette for retained products (10wks after my daughter's birth) - ti was check I had no adhesions or problems.

I didn't have a lap either before I started but then had to duringmy first cycle - to clip my damaged tubes ... a sonohystogram (i did have this before I started my cycle but they missed reviewing the report) .It showed my tubes were fluid filled and could interfere with embryo implanting so I had the right one clipped(tied).

The lap actually also showed I didn't have a bicornuate uterus that another Dr thought I may have had when had sono hysterogram.

@ 39 I would recommend you see a FS first and foremost without wasting another few weeks.The FS can do all the necessary investigations - and decide if a lap is necessary or just a sonohysterogram to see if you tubes are patent / sperm analysis for your DH , and day 21 pregesterone bloodtest to see if you ovulate even.

Go to your GP and demand a referal if they refuse don't leave till you have one ... mark it indefinate too for both you and your husband. You both need one to start IVF.Otherwise under medicare rules you need another one after 12 months. Ring and make an appointment with a FS. We did this before we even had a referal letter. They are the most qualified and they can do ovulation induction/IUI and inseminations etc too without going straight to IVF if that is the case.

I waited till we were 38 to go the IVF path ...on our #2 cycle we were blessed - it was our 3rd transfer ( between we had a FET cycle and cancelled FET ). One year to the day I started the IVF meds ... I had my sons (1 month early). One week before my 40th birthday.

IVF is not always the answer but don't take offense ... your time is short and I urge you not to waste any more precious time. The FS was highly optimistic but also told us at 39 the odds were against us.

It wasn't that traumatic , nor emotional ... not doing anything and regreting it is more emotional and for us it wasn't that expensive going through a not for profit clinic and with the medicare rebates/ safety net threshold.

Advice from a once 39 year starting IVF - please DON'T delay and I hope you have success asap.

I agree with everything Trish has said and completely agree that you shouldn't be wasting another minute before letting your FS know that you want to throw everything at this.

Also wanted to tell BW I didn't have a lap prior to IVF because they knew what my fertility issue was.

Wow!
Thanks so much everyone for all your feedback. I am sorry to hear some of your painful stories and your joyful ones too! Youve given me a lot to think about.

I think that some of you have confirmed some of my fears, I do not in any way take the IVF step lightly and if i were just a few years younger I'd be so much more patient and wait longer before taking the leap towards it. I really dont want to be 1 year down the track and have a FS or whoever ask why I havent done this or that test and have that sinking regrettful feeling that more could have been done.....
I have been getting the old be patient, relax, stop thinking about it and it will happen blah blah line from my Gp, family and friends who already have kids etc but I dont think any of them knows what it's like to feel that time is running out and you have to live with this fear that you have left it too late have your little family.
I kinda feel that something is not right & it could have been like this for me five years ago for all I know! You cant know until you start trying can you?

I am seeing a FS this week, perhaps I'll be told to try a couple more months natural but if theres anything else that can happen or if they say "lets hurry up" well I think I'll go for it. Money is a big worry!!! I am an artist so I'm far from affluent. It will be tough but we'll manage.
I hope something can happen this month, I will be CD 6 when I have my first app with FS. Does anyone know if that is a good time to go?
thanks everyone. sass:)

Hi Sasha,

I agree, right now. My experience is testimony to starting IVF early. At 37 and having ttc naturally for one year with unexplained infertility, we pushed for IVF and were successful on our first attempt. I remember a friend of mine telling me to throw everything I had at it ( I think she was fed up with my being upset about it)
I desperately wanted another child, so at 39, six months after the birth of our baby, we started IVF again, and after five more goes, and at the age of 41 this week, I have just had my second child ten days ago. I strongly believe that had I not pushed for IVF early, I would have only had one child. It may not happen this way for you, but I do know that IVF givea you the best chance.

Good luck,

Suzy

CD 6 is fine - goodluck :clap:

thanks guys, I hope something good will come out of this thread and perhaps other women who are getting nervous & have been told to "just relax" will seek a little more help a little sooner.
It's quite frustrating to be told nothing is wrong when you feel there is. I dont mean to sound like I'd bypass tests and trying naturally but maybe it would be nice to be taken more seriuosly a little sooner.
thanks suzy, Congratualtions on your second arrival, you must be quite happy and tired?
Sounds like you were once where I am now, I do want more than one child and thats part of the problem, you kinda want to start on the second before you even have the first!
Sounds greedy but I guess it's hard wired in us all, we want to procreate!
Great, cd 6 is good, thanks baby amore, let see what happens. I'll keep you posted.
thanks all, sass :)

I too am 39yo and we tried for 6mths before my FS (who is also my usual gyne) started blood tests etc. My second day 2 FSH was high (20) which is a BAD sign. Without any further tests (except semen analysis) we started IVF this month after checking that my next FSH was reasonable. However she was privvy to my past history which included a lap for removal of a HUGE uterine fibroid, so we knew that I didnt have endo.

I am currently in the TWW.

GO FOR IT!!

Sass,

Wanting more than one child isn't greedy, its just normal. Its what the rest of the population usually desire without a second thought about greed, so I dont' see why we can't either. Its almost as if its so difficult for us to have one, that two seems like asking too much.

Love,

Suzy

I agree with the girls, go for it!

I was in a different boat in that I as 'only' 28 when we started having problems. I'd conceived twice with no problems but after some gynae issues and two laps (one to remove a cyst from my ovary, the second diagnostic) we were given the choice to either keep trying naturally or go straight to IVF. I was lucky in that I am surrounded by friends with IVF babies - I knew it worked, so I had no hesitations. My FS left the decision up to me and we were successful on our first cycle. We only ttc 'naturally' (we also used clomid on these cycles) for 5 months before jumping into IVF. Some people might think that given our age and the fact that it was possible for us to concieve naturally, that we could have waited before jumping ship. But I totally disagree, it was the best decision we could have made.

BW - don't panic about not having a lap. Your issues are pretty well known, if your FS suspected there might be something unexplained going on, he would have recommended one.

Good luck Sass!!

thanks willow,
I think it's great that you were able to decide how you wanted to proceed. How are things going, how was IVF for you?
Good luck drbee!!!!! very exciting! I hope you get a bfp from your first ivf cycle, that would be wonderful!
I guess I'll see what the FS says but I'll be sure to tell them that i dont want to waste too much more time. If I get a lap and it's all clear i guess that would mean keep trying naturally for a few cycle but once I'm within a few months of my 39th I'll be getting antsy. I just have to hold on for FS later this week.

Thanks Suzi, you are so right! It's not greedy to want more than one child. It's just hard for me not to get ahead of myself, I get so anxious about all this stuff.
A couple of my friends are so casual about having more than one for them it was no big deal, it just happened when they wanted it to happen. They tell me have one and see how i feel, it's soooo much work blah blah etc etc. I know they find it hard to symathise sometimes. It's almost as though they think we arent trying hard enough! I really wish it was that simple.

thanks again everyone!sass:)

Sassba32,
Your FS may want you to try for a few months yourselves after the lap. as for about 3 months after a lap your chances of getting pg. go up. However I think they would also be fairly keen for you to start IVF too so they might leave it up to you. My FS is definitley very pro IVF quickly once people are in their late 30s.

Sass, we are doing great, thanks for asking, am nearly at the half way mark! I found IVF hard emotionally at times, but to be honest, not as hard as the preceeding months not knowing what was wrong, if I'd ever be able to fall prg again and dealing with the loss of my second baby. It was a wonderful feeling to be 'in control' again. Waiting for the phone calls is an absolute killer, but as for the meds, the procedures, the epu and transfer etc, it was all good for me, no complaints at all and I'd have no hesitation in doing it again.

BUT like I said, I was fortunate to go in with my eyes WIDE open - out of my close group of 6 girlfriends, 4 of us have ended up on this path. I'd been exposed to the process and how it worked, the emotional struggle etc for quite a few years before I had to do it myself. These girls and the BB girls were my hugest support.

As Anney said, your FS may want you to try for a few months after your lap. My FS told us to give it one last shot the cycle of my lap and then asked me what I wanted to do. I'd had enough and wanted the odds back on my side again so we started on the next cycle.

Hi everyone,

Firstly although I have been reading these forums for a while this is my first time actually replying to one so I apologise if I stuff up the jargon & am too long winded.

I was on the pill for over 10 years & came off March last year to start trying. I had AF in March 06, June then 6 weeks later in July & thought great it is slowly getting somewhat normal. But then months went by with nothing.

My Dr sent me to a FS in October & they found I had PCOS. I was on Metformin for 3 mths with no AF, I have had 2 x Clomid & have not ovulated yet. (I had to take the progesterone tablets to get AF)

My FS has now said due to the active nature of my PCOS my DH & I need to consider either IUI or IVF. My FS works for the Sydney IVF Clinic & the costs are much more expensive than say Westmead Fertilty Clinic. I am at a loss...I know that IUI doesn't have near the success rate of IVF so is it worth spending the time & money trialling that or should we go to IVF which has a higher success rate.

Also I don't know how to go about changing where to have it done. I am really happy with my FS but am worried that Sydney IVF prices will be too much of a financial strain. We really want a baby & I am finding it harder & harder to be around my friends who are pregnant. Not to mention my sister who fell pregnant by accident...

I would be grateful for any advice....

Thx Ali

Hi Ali,
I was just going to say that there are at least 3 ladies in the TWW thread who are doing IUI. Maybe you could jump in there and ask them a question or two about cost, their experiences and successes etc.
Sorry i can't help more than that. I am neither in Sydney, nor am i a candidate for IUI!! But i can say that i have noticed a few more ladies seem to be doing IUI in here.
Good luck with whatever you decide and i hope you can get some advice and help here.

Jo

hi all,
Well...yesterday we were told that because of my age we have tried for about as long as we should naturally.
We saw our FS yesterday, he was very nice but sadly he said we need to draw the line regarding our natural conception chances at about now or even a few months back. If we wait i could get pregnant in a the next few months, who knows, but if I dont then I've lost that precious time and lived through all the stress. If we do want more than one child then every month is valuable now.
So, my DH really wants one more shot at natural so I think we'll try this month, I'll have acupuncture, do yoga, eat goji berries, drink green tea, ban coffee completely and try not to stress out too much during ttw.
BUt if it doesnt work then next month I'll go for lap and then IUI(or IVF if theres some major problem) the following cycle pretty much regardless of the results, just to up our chances of getting pregnant soon. And perhaps ivf a few months after that if needed.
It has been absolutely wonderful reading this thread and i felt so much more confident going to my first FS app.
thanks everyone! sassba

Ps, ali, I really feel for you. It is so hard to navigate the "system" while trying to keep track of all the potential costs! Ideally you dont want to start the process and have to change specialists.
I would love to go to a not for profit clinic but there arent any near me. One thing to consider is just that, is the westmead clinic close for you? If you undergo treatment you may need to go in a lot for blood tests etc, you may want to weigh all of the cost savings up against the inconveniences of travel & time. Do you know about the medicare safety net? It can really help & medicare will pay upto 80% of some fertility treatments once you go over your threshold. Good luck!!!

Sass, I think your FS has given you good advice. We TTC'ed naturally for 3 years, cutting out all the bad stuff and using different forms of natural therapies and had no luck however on our first IVF cycle we got pregnant! miscarried at 9 weeks however at my age I have a 40% chance of miscarriage but at your age you have a much better statistic on that.
Because of my experience I am a big believer in pushing older people to IVF as it worked for us.

Hi Anney, thanks for your support and advice,
wishing you lots of luck with the egg donor! The miracles of science, amazing! sassba

Hi Sass

Just checked in to see how your FS appointment went. Good to hear that you have got some options now.

Our FS offered us the choice of IUI or IVF for our first cycle - since the chances of falling pg using IUI were actually lower than TTC naturally (for the general population that is) we decided if I was going to have go on all of the drugs anyway we must as well increase our chances and jump straight into the IVF - age is also an issue for us as well. Our FS said that the chances of falling pg with IUI were very poor for women aged 40 plus.

Take care and good luck with your TTC journey!

Cheryl