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I have my MIL insisting that it is fine to take little Julian out at night in winter and my mother and grandmother making me feel extremely guilty even to think about it. He is 7 weeks old. If we were to go out, it would literally be in and out of the car for a minute or so as we came in and out of the house. But it is just so cold at the moment. Obviously we would rug him up but I can't make up my mind on whether it is ok!
We've been going to MILs for dinner once a week since I was about 3 months pregnant & have continued to do so ever since.
If someone is sick we don't go, summer or winter (us or them)
If it is raining we don't go, no point getting him wet, drying off, to get wet again.
If he's had a bad day.... If it's too cold.... If it's too late....
We play it by ear, but having said that, most of the time we do still go in winter. I always made sure he had a beanie, as well as being rugged up & a blanket on top. I would then have to strip him down once we got into the house LOL! He's been fine with it all, hasn't had more colds or illness than any other child, so it hasn't affected him negatively so far....
I suppose it depends where you are going. If its somewhere indoors I don't see why it'd be a prob, as you said you would rug him up. Just do what you feel comfortable with. I don't see how being indoors elsewhere would be different from being indoors at home.
My opinion is that it is ok. If you are just going from the car to the house and back, he is going to be rugged up and will be in your arms next to your body. Sitting outside in the wind is a different matter but I would be fine with what you have said. Isn't it difficult when you get people with strong different opinions. It makes it hard to form your own.
Yeah, we went out all the time. Just rugged him up in jumpers and beanies (plenty of handknits from nana ;) ), blankets etc. Much better to wrap him in something warm than in cottonwool IMO heheh. When it's a quick dash to the car & back, I dont' see a problem at all. And you can always get DH to make the car nice & toasty warm before bub gets in too.
If it was windy or rainy, we'd tuck him inside our jacket/coat. But like you say, it's only between the car & the house.. it's hardly going out :)
Hey Jan- good to hear from you - hope you and julian are going well!! I have this dilema too - stoopid Melbourne weather - its funny my mum doesnt like us going out much at all but if we are going to her house for dinner its fine;) Ive been out with Izzy since she was a week and half old to her great grandpas place... i honestly think if she isnt sick, and you are going from house to car to house and shes all rugged up then they will be fine. I think she actually likes to feel the cool fresh air on her face briefly too!!
Good luck hun!!
we take maddy out at night but she is rugged up tight! and the heater in the car on a few minutes to take the chill off the air!but if mil:rolleyes: asks us over for dinner then ist too cold..heheh im mean.;)
me 28 dad 25
DD:babygirl:november 06
I don't see an issue if you are only going to be outside from the car to the house etc, for a short period.
I wouldn't do it wil DS very often now, but thas because he goes to bed at 7:30 and doesn't tend to sleep well at other people's houses. Up until he was about 6 months old we used to take him to my Aunty and Uncles house once a week, unless it was raining or he was unwell.
personally, i avoid going out at night with my bubs. I'm a cold person, and I don't really like going out at night in winter, I'd much rather be warm and toasty at home in my ugg boots and flanellete pjs.... so I treat bubs the same. But I sort of don't WANT to be out at night with bubs, during the day is different, but night time is for baths and feeds and winding down for sleep, if that makes sense. My girl seems to get unsettled if we are out, she isn't the sort to sleep for fear of missing out on things.
Unless there was something on I couldn't avoid, I don't intend to take my baby out at night in winter, no way.
I think it is another thing that comes down to personal choice. As I see it if you are going straight out of the house into the car and out of the car back inside then it isnt such a problem. I just used to make sure DD was rugged up warm, usually in her jammie, with a jumper, beanie and a blanket.
I have gone out at night a few times with claire.I just make sure she has plenty of warm clothes. We dont go to outdoor places, we are always inside (like a restaurant or something) so I never really saw it as a bad thing.
in my opinion, of course you can take him out at night if he is only going to be in the cold air for a couple of minutes at a time!!! it sounds crazy to me that people would keep themselves locked away at home just so bub doesn't get a bit cold.
i just used to get him out of his carseat and hold him against my chest and tuck a thick flannelette blanket around him and under my arms so the cold air couldn't get to him.
We went to a 21st party when he was 6 weeks old which was held in someones back yard, just made sure he was rugged up and he was either nursed by someone or sleeping in his stroller and he was fine and happy.
There are so many better things to feel guilty about, please don't feel guilty about taking your baby out of the house
Thanks everyone for your opinions :) I'm starting to feel less guilty now. I guess my main concern was what if he got sick. I wish people would let us do our own thing, without putting their own opinions on us! I'm going to have to have a stronger backbone I think.
Zander was at a BBQ at 1 week old, although it was March so not too cold. He was also at my sister's 21st party, on the harbour (it was a cruise) when he was around 10 weeks old as well. I was starting to think I was the only one!:
Oscar will be one week old tomorrow and he will be going to his first night excursion but remaining indoors. Consequently, he will look like the michelin man with the amount of layers he will wear but it is part of my life and he is too so they have to meet eventually!! You can get sick whether you go out at night or not and winter is a bad time for viral illnesses which are transmitted from people, not the cold weather as such, anyway.
Make a choice you are happy with. I am comfortable taking my baby out at night and in winter. My choice. But not a choice for everyone ..... and that is OK!!! There are more difficult decisions to make with regard to the upbringing of your child so try not to feel guilty when you make a decision that is fine for you but not what someone else would do.
We didn't take DS out at night for the first month, not because we were worried about the cold, but because he was more grizzly in the evenings and we were settling into our routine for bed etc. Now we take him out ( he's now nearly 7 weeks old) but mostly to families houses. We thought it would be harder in the evening cause of his grizzles but it's actually easier with so many hands ready to give him a cuddle if he cries so we can finish dinner etc. I wasn't concerned about cold cause he was rugged up for the short walk to and from the car. And it didn't seem to disrupt his evening routine. I wanted him to get used to going out cause we regularly would go and have dinners with my parents, in laws, brothers etc. And it's fun being around the family with him and the other kids. Good family atmosphere.
I've never had a problem taking DD out at night even in the winter because she was always rugged up, beanie, blankets etc.
You don't get sick from being out in the cold for a few minutes!!
Ive never taken Jesse out at night. Personally, i think babies and kids should be home in the evenings, whether it stuffs up your social life or not. Theyre more important and i think taking them out, especially when its the middle of winter, when they should be home in bed is not good for them at all or fair.
I have a girlfriend who use to take her daughter out at the drop of a hat for a guy and she wondered why she was always taking her to hospital for croup!
Thats my opinion.
Caro I don't think anyone is saying someone is in the wrong for not taking their child out!
Be it right or wrong I took DD with me everywhere during her first few months, I found it a breeze to just take her everywhere with me when she was little. We'd go out for coffee and she's be tucked up in her pram sleeping. I loved visiting people with her, putting her in the baby carrier and going shopping. I'm not the kind of person that can stay at home too long or I go crazy!
Most of the time when we were taking her out at night was to spend time with family in and friends in the comfort and warmth of their homes with bubby snuggled up and being cuddled.
I don't think either way is wrong or right, just is an individual preference. I think the main thing is if the baby seems settled and not upset.
I think its very important that you do what YOU'RE comfortable with.
Dont let other people pressure you into doing something you don't want to.
Personally, we take Mason out every day. He has been out at night times to other peoples houses as well. He is well rugged up and covered in a big blanket between the car and house.
I've always taken my babies out at night if I was going out. It's not as if we live live in a particuarly cold climate but TBH even if I was living in a cold country I'd still take my babies out at night.
Viral illnesses (including Croup) are transmitted just as easily during the daylight hours so to me a bigger issue is the health and hygiene of anyone we might be visiting.
I'm not a big fan of the idea of putting my life on hold because I'm a parent. Having children changes ones life enough without burdening oneself with too many restrictions. I never changed my diet for the sake of BF and Imran is still going strong on the boob at 14 months. I'm pretty sure that if I had placed all sorts of restrictions on my diet I would be keen to end our breastfeeding relationship by now. Of course, what works for me isn't what works for other Mums. I'm sure there are women out there who aren't at all fazed by the idea of 2 years without coffee lol.
In the same vein if I decided to stay home at night I know that I would end up feeling unhappy about it and that would impact on my relationship with my children.
That said when we eat out now we don't linger over coffee and dessert the way we used to lol. We eat and bolt (before the wait staff notice the mess our children have made :P ).
It was so much easier when they were teeny because they would sleep in thier pram while we ate.
Caro - I am taking my child out, which is ok for me but I would never assume to tell someone else to take their baby out if they don't want to. It is neither right nor wrong to take your baby out .... it is a completely personal choice and the sole decision of each parent. There are good reasons for going out and good reasons for staying in. Your reasons (as with everyone else's) are very valid and important things to consider. At the beginning of this discussion Sarah felt like she was the only person who was taking their child out too.
Of course.. but it doesnt help to be taking them out when they have the first few cold like symptoms.:
I dont think anyone is telling anyone what to do here.. its all just personal opinion.
Yeah, we wouldn't go out either if there were symptoms about. But we have certain commitments each week that we continued to attend and took bub with us, whatever the weather.
Certainly didn't affect our breastfeeding relationship either, my boobs were still always available.. just coz we were out didn't mean I denied him boob and mucked up the feeding. I agree that it's the easiest time to take them anywhere when they're little.
I still think a little cold air doesn't hurt them if they're rugged up. What's considered a 'safe' temperature to take them out? Just coz the sun is shining doesn't mean it's warm. Not lately anyway LOL.. with the wind coming off all that snow! I'm sure eskimo's take their babies out in the cold ;)
I think you need to do what you are comfortable with. I have no problem with taking DD out at night for things such as going out to dinner etc but I will generally try to avoid taking her out willy nilly if there is another option (such as to the supermarket, I will wait for DH to get home from work then one of us will go). As previoulsy mentioned, it is not the cold air that makes them sick. Common sense would obviously say just rug them up - like you would rug yourself up. We have taken DD out from 6 days old, she is happy to be anywhere as long as we are around she feels secure. Each to there own, I have to say I agree with dachlostars comments that children alter ones life so much as it is without restricting other activities. I need to get out and socialise as usual for my sanity, and occasionally that may be at night.
FYI - When Zander had croup last year, the Dr & 2 nurses at the hospital actually recommended taking him out into the cold air for a few minutes as it would stop the coughing episode.....
Ooohhh, Brooke is Charlotte ok? Missing your updates in the March thread. Hope you are all well and Lucas is going along nicely. hopefully hear from you soon.
I've taking Izzy out since day dot! I can't be one of the mums that stay at home - it isn't in my personality - i would drive myself bonkers... I also think its good to get izzy use to different surroundings and socially involved with the world (children learn behaviour from a young age)... Going out hasn't had a problem with mine and izzy breastfeeding relationship - when she wants it, i give it (milk on legs me is~ lol)...
And during the night i try not to keep her out, but if i'm invited to dinner or there is a special occasion... we will attend... Just like everyone has said ~Rugg up~ it's only 30secs between car an house...
On sunday i am taking her to Tazmania (where it is even colder!) but i won't be feeling guilting for going... and izzy will be fine, i've had the doctor check her over and he says shes a healthy bub who should have a great time, he just wants to see photo's on our return... My doct being a pead. i tend to believe him when he tells me a bit of cold air dosnt do no harm!
If we don't go out it's more to do with being lazy than not taking Lucy out in the cold air.
We went on a trip down to Melbourne when she was just under three months and she came out with me to dinner with rellies, etc. I put her in the snuggliest snow-suit looking thing you've ever seen - made a great photo! But we were mostly inside. Come to think of it, the coldest it's ever been was when we were out the following day catching a train and it started raining. Someone had been killed on the track further down the line, all trains cancelled and I had to wait on a cold station platform for an hour. The worst was when I had to feed her - for me not her! I don't think she even noticed.
Hi Jan,
Like so many others have said, I think it is personal pref and what you are happy with.
I have taken Abbey out several times at night in Winter! I even take her walking in the rain!!! Of course I put the rain cover on the pram! In fact, the rain cover is great on cold nights too - gets pretty steamed up in there! Abbey is always rugged up in her warmest jacket, beanie and however many blankets Mummy thinks she needs. If I could find mittens to fit her, she'd wear those as well!
Like Dach - I'm not going to put my life on hold just because I'm a parent. Plus, DH has the car during the day and often doesn't get home until late so if I NEED something from the shops, need to take Abbey to the doc, or any other number of things - I have to walk. Including at night! And Abbey enjoys it as much as I do. PLUS, a HUGE benefit is she usually goes straight to sleep when we get home! ;) Of course, I limit all of Abbey's outside activity when she is sick (day time included). But do what you're happy and comfortable with.
MG
wow i feel like i have been really ripped off in the 'newborn' department... all these babies sleeping soundly in prams while being out, its so unfair! :) Hollie has been so alert from day dot and would never sleep if she felt she was missing out on something... to date i dont think she has ever slept in her pram, its too exciting.
i cant believe you guys felt WELL enough to go out in your first weeks... but i guess i was recovering from a really traumatic time with having an awfully long labour, then emergency c section and blood transfusion.... i was a right mess for probably the first four weeks and struggled to even walk around the block.... urrrrgh god i am glad that awful time is over! i feel like i barely remember her first few weeks as i was so weak and in a daze most of the time.
ooops when i started typing i didnt mean for it all to sound like a poor me rant!
Hugs Emma. Don't worry - I think I only ventured out for a walk about 3 times in Abbey's first 6 weeks (emergency C-sect too). We do what we can and things slowly get better. Abbey also likes to look around in the pram and will only sleep in it if I put a screen up or if she is super tired. But coming in from the cold to a warm house puts her into a deep sleep pretty quickly!
I didn't do it when Annika was younger, even though it was summer, mainly because I was too exhausted by the end of the day. I do take her out now, but I rug her up to the max. Also, she does not go outside on a cold day without a beanie on.
I don't have much choice taking Nicholas out in the cold, but it is the mornings (when it can be 8-10 degrees) that I have to take the girls to school! I have a great outfit for Nic though. He has a really warm "Snug as a Bug" wrap which has legs in it so you can swaddle them but still put them in a car seat or pram all rugged up, it also has a hood. We don't go out a lot at night anyway as we have 3 kids, but I don't think I would consider not going out unless one of them were sick. Anywhere we go, it is inside anyway, so, like most others have said, it is only from the car to the house.
I would struggle and feel isolated from the world if I didn't go out, even in the cold weather. I have had PND, so getting out during the day is really important for me. \
Everyone has their own way of raising their children. My sister doesn't really leave her house after 3pm as her son has a pretty strict afternoon/evening routine, and that's fine.
Great question!
Oscar was born in winter and his first outing was to our local reserve and it was FREEZING, but nothing a bit of layering couldn't fix. Yes, it was daytime, but it was a Melbourne June...sometimes those days are as cold as nights!
In July we went out ALL NIGHT (got home at 6am!) from a brigade annual dinner, and Oscar spent all night asleep in the HAB, except for feeds, which we managed beautifully. The HAB was an especially good tool for cool nights. In July, also, we walked back from a friend's place in a thick fog - Oscar was so snug in the buggy with the storm cover on.
Going out at night was a breeze and he has been coming to the fire station with us since he was less than two weeks old, every week on a Wednesday - from car to warm kitchen took no time at all and that short time of being out in the elements in no way outweighs going out at all, so don't feel bad, just do what you do that baby can fit into as well!
I reckon that the sooner they are allowed to be in situations where you interact, converse, share hobbies, and in general can provide exposure to how people are with each other, the better. Slings are ace for this, because unlike prams (not condemning prams, I have a buggy and it has its uses, just not as much use as my Ergo and HAB), the little one is in the thick of it, absorbing all that interaction, convention of social exchange (manners, waiting your turn to talk etc), and when they are sick of it they just tuck away to sleep in the sling to cut it all out.
If you don't want to go out, different story, then don't.
But if you do, then don't let anyone stop you, especially if YOU consider that the little one is a wonderful little addition to your outings like I do:)
Also, I was taking Oscar out to visit my horse from 4 weeks, in the HAB - alfresco dining took on a new meaning, and I achieved my first 'walk and feed' out at the paddocks.
If you love to rug up, then go for it!!
My dh had a concert for his school a couple of weeks ago, that I was also playing in. We wanted chloe to come as a lot of people wanted to see her, and I was in two minds as it was a cold night, it was going to be loud and probably late and the hall it was in is not fully enclosed. We rugged her up nice and warm, and she slept through the whole thing! It went until about 10.30pm, which is the latest we have had her out, but she normally gets up for a feed then so I brought her home and carried on as usual. There were a couple of other babies there also, who cried on and off for most of the night. I was so proud of chloe!!!