This is very new to me - I mean the internet but I have no one else to talk to. I have just lost my baby at only 10 weeks and it feels like it was a real baby:cry::cry:
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This is very new to me - I mean the internet but I have no one else to talk to. I have just lost my baby at only 10 weeks and it feels like it was a real baby:cry::cry:
hey Jaye.dea
im sorry to hear about your loss.everyone is so helpful here. i lost baby boy in january this year and it has really helped me reading post on here. so many women go thru this aweful tragedy.
i havent posted until now' i gather your new to this too.
\what does jaye dea stand for?
love megs
Jaye Dea is my name - Jaimi:
Yes I am new to this.
I am wondering if this is all because I ate soft cheeses. I feel so irresponsible.
dont beat youself up jaimi. i ate a salad at a local deli. i felt so bad. but what do you. its happens:dance:. deep down i feel responsible for the loss of my boy.but we are all here together. you should read some of the other forums. i think loads of other people are on here with similar problems.
love megs
Thanks Megsy
I feel bad complaining so much when you have been through the same thing too!
My mother - I can't talk to. All she has been saying is "In my day, we didn't worry about what we ate!" I try to tell her it is different now and she thinks I am just being silly.
oh my god... how insensitive.i cant believe she said that.some people just dont think before they say stuff.i totally dont understand that.
how weird you are i are new to this and end up chattiing all night. its like past 2am here. where r u?
2am? Where are you? I am in NT... It is 2.30am here:asleep: I am getting tired and have to go to work tomorrow oh.... :lol: today now I mean
dehhh how blonde am i.its after 3am:) time doesnt mean anything to me anymore. i havent been to work for 3 weeks.people in the real world dont seem to understand. its nice to know there is others who understand what we are going through.
love megs
dont worry about your mum, my mum says the the same stuff. those days they didnt have soft cheeses. i think our generation know too much. have u any other children?
I'm sorry for your loss. None of us ever believes this will happen to us, then it happens and any pregnancy afterwards you think you will lose it.
I was extremely careful with what I ate during my short lived recent pregnancy & I still lost it. The main cheeses you should avoid are brie, camembert & blue vein so if it wasn't one of those it is unlikely to caused a m/c. Also unless you were also very sick with it (running to the loo & throwing up) it wouldn't have been listeria that caused it, and that's the reason they say not to eat it.
Unfortunately in most cases you will never know what caused it. Most women go on to have a healthy pregnancy after such a loss. It doesn't matter how far along you were with the pregnancy it seems that most of us take it in the same way. We had already formulated plans for that little person.... even with a really early loss (like the ones I've suffered) a woman can suffer a huge amount of grief. It does get easier in time but it can come back and bite you when you least expect it. I found posting my innermost thought here helped immensely, I'm sure you will too.
Sweetie it was a real baby no matter how long you were carrying it inside you. I have one son and lost a daughter 3 months ago and she was everybit a real baby even though I never got to meet her. You are a mummy to an angel baby just like us.:
I was not careful at all with my first pregnancy and ate all the wrong things and my baby was fine, but the second pregnancy I decided I would be strick, no soft drink, caffine etc and I lost our girl at 11.5 weeks and there was no reason for it in all the testing they did.
Miscarriage is quite high 30% of all pregnancies and I have heard one of the girls in here say her ob reckons almost 50% but we assume our period is late and then get it a couple days later and think nothing of it.
It is going to be hard I still have bad days but it is ok to miss your baby and all the dreams you had its all part of the grieving process.
I am certian soon enough you will be pregnant and making all those dreams come true!
Take care
Jaye Dea,
As cherie said, it was a real baby - I had my D&C at 10 weeks, I would be 12 weeks today and I know I definetly had a baby inside me.
I thought I would be fine and not have to endure a m/c. The loss some days is hard. It feels unfair to me sometimes and other times I think it was for the best. I would have hated to go full term then to find out that 'he' had some terrible abnormalities.
As with the food b4 I knew I was pg i ate anything and everything, now, although I am not pg I am being careful with what I eat so I can give my next bubs the best start to life. Although the Dr's all say it is just one of those things. My sister has had 6 healthy kids and never m/c at all, I think that me being older has increased my chances of m/c.
Will be back on the TTC road very shortly!!
Good luck
Mich xox
Please dont beat yourself up over thinking that you did something wrong.
Your baby was too good for this world. Now you have a precious little angel to watch over you
hey jaye.dea im so sorry to here about your loss it must be so hard for you and your partner.my heart is with you u i only had a misscarraige a week ago. some advice keep your chin up chick and stay positive for the next one.
love susan
Hi Jaye,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Although I now have a little boy, I do know how you feel as I thought I lost my little one twice - once during labour.
Although a big deal is made of listeria - the chances of actually contracting it from soft cheeses is very slim. You would have had to be really unlucky.
I guess I am trying to say dont beat yourself up over it.
I am sending you lots of positive thoughts and hugs. :hug:
you are all so sweet. i have been reading posts for a couple of months now before i posted to Jaimi, and you are all so supportive. it just doesnt seem fair that it has to happen to us. you hear of people doing all the wrong things and have perfectly healthy babies.:( what more can i say?!
Jaimi how you doing sweet?
love megs
Jaimi,
hi and welcome, I have just gone thru my 3rd m/c in a row, and this time it has really cut me up! I really didnt think it would happen to me again, but it did. Im assuming that perhaps there was something wrong with my babies and nature did the right thing to take my angels away so that they didnt live a very bad life, I dont really know, but thats just how I try to think now.
Im sure you did nothing wrong by eating some soft cheese, I mean as Megs said, there are plenty of women out there that are always doing the wrong things and their babies are usually fine, it doesnt seem fair.
I know that when you go thru a m/c you think you're the only one in the world who goes thru it and it is so hard to understand why it happens to you, but then you come to a place like BB and you realise that you are far from alone and the support you get from others that have suffered the same thing as you is really great and helps out so much.
I was even getting to the stage where I just couldnt stand to know someone who was pg cause I was so upset about losing my bub, but that is something I am coming to terms with now. (my DP's sister and his SIL are both pg and that really hurts that they are)
Anyway, I hope you get thru this ok and that you may be able to get some results as to why this tragedy happened. I hope that in the near future that you will once again become pg and carry this one full term to become a H&H bub.
Best of luck and thinking of you,
Lindy. xoxo
Jaimi,
So sorry for your loss. And yes your baby was a real baby - its funny about our mothers sometimes isn't it, my mother actually said to me when i m/c the 1st time - oh well it was nothing wasn't even a baby - i couldn't believe it - i mean she was nice to me but did not count my baby as real, so i kind of had to be really strong on the phone when i spoke to her and alot of people gave me the same answer - i was floored to tell you the truth. But loosing a child not matter how long you have them is hard, you do need to greive and do not let ANYONE tell you otherwise. Cry and cry if thats what you want we are all thinking of you :grouphug: and you did nothing to cause this - unfortunately nature does this not us .
:hello:To Megs75, Satya, Cherie26, mrsaym, meg-mum-of-1, britkane8, kryslass, lj2685 and Lissie
I cannot believe the amount of support you have shown to me. I chatted on here once thinking that no-one would bother!. It is sad that we are all in the same situation, but then it is that what brings us closer together I think. I am more overwhelmed to know that there are some people out there that are actually listening to me. I thought I might take a break from trying to have children as I thought this might not be for me after all but you have all given me the confidence to continue. It took me so long to conceive the first time (last time) that I was so overjoyed about being pregnant. Then to lose it was devastating. I have finally found someone in RL life to talk to. My friend Kel has expressed her sorrow which is a lot more than I can say for my family.
I will be back soon - think I might go see what the DL is doing ;)
Love to you all and keep trying :lol:
Jaimi
jaimi so nice to hear from you:) please dont give up. it will happen for you. you just need to surround yourself with positive people, like the bb group and obviously your friend Kel.
im a little sad as i thought this month was my month but AF arrived...grrrr. its so hard to be patient and let time tell. AF is just a constant reminder of what might have been. i hate this bit when you just have to wait till you can start ttc.
best of luck to you. im so glad you have decided to keep trying. sending you loads of:stickyvibesboy: for you.
love megs
hi guys u are all so supportive its great!!
I agree with one of the posts in saying that miscariges happen to us for a reason and that sometimes there might be something wrong with those little babies we loose, and sometimes life has its own cruel way of directing us on our journeys, like maybe it just wasnt the right time,like they say everything happens for a reason but one will never know why? it has to be so cruel sometimes.
I too lost a baby last november at 10 weeks its just so heart breaking but when i look back over the last 7 months i have had alot to deal with emotionally as i lost my mother to cancer last year and my sister in september to namonia and just recently had to have a corneal transplant done on my right eye so its till i look back and realise that it just maybe wasnt the right time in my life for another baby even though i thought i was ready for one anyway i thought this might help sharing this with u all
i hope it does.and i know that it is hard but we all just have to keep our heads up high and still try to enjoy everyday as it comes and when it is our turn to have a baby it will be AWSOME JUST THE BEST!!!
THANKS FOR LISTENING TO MY BABLE HOPE IT MADE SENSE!!!
:redface:hi guys u are all so supportive its great!!
I agree with one of the posts in saying that miscariges happen to us for a reason and that sometimes there might be something wrong with those little babies we loose, and sometimes life has its own cruel way of directing us on our journeys, like maybe it just wasnt the right time,like they say everything happens for a reason but one will never know why? it has to be so cruel sometimes.
I too lost a baby last november at 10 weeks its just so heart breaking but when i look back over the last 7 months i have had alot to deal with emotionally as i lost my mother to cancer last year and my sister in september to namonia and just recently had to have a corneal transplant done on my right eye so its till i look back and realise that it just maybe wasnt the right time in my life for another baby even though i thought i was ready for one anyway i thought this might help sharing this with u all
i hope it does.and i know that it is hard but we all just have to keep our heads up high and still try to enjoy everyday as it comes and when it is our turn to have a baby it will be AWSOME JUST THE BEST!!!
THANKS FOR LISTENING TO MY BABLE HOPE IT MADE SENSE!!!
sorry about your loss Your mum is obviously unaware of what she says being upsetting as that is how it was done back in her day and you just need to let her know so she can grow . My dad said that to my sister when she delievered her daughter stillborn at 38 wks and didnt realise how hurtful that was but after spending some time with him and discussing it he was able to be more sensitive when i lost my first daughter so give her a chance as she will be a wonderful support that you need at this time I hope that helps but people usually dont know what to say at times like this and you usually just want acknowlegement of your baby
It is so nice to not be alone in this. We spend so much time thinking maybe it was too much coffee, Maybe I lifted something too heavy( like a 3 year old), maybe maybe maybe. But in the end we just drive ourselves crazy. I have just had my 3 rd early miscarriage or chemical pregnancies. I'm sure earlier is better than later on but...it still sucks.
My mom said "In my day we had to wait until AF was two weeks late..." In which case I wouldn't have known I was pregnant except I knew all three times before testing. Sometimes I wish I was one of those women who are surprised they are pregnant and don't even think to test until they are more than 6 weeks.
It would have saved me such heartache.
I am so very sorry for your loss. It WAS a real baby and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise. Mothers have a connection to their babies the moment they find out about them and that connection is very real and very strong.
Just because you didn't give birth doesn't mean you weren't a mommy, even if just for a short while.
HUGE hugs.
Hilary