What bfing influences did you have?

Beckles' doll and bottle thread talked a lot about influences that lead to people ffing. Bfing is so seldom seem, I am wondering what influences people have had that has led them down the bfing path?

For myself, I would have to say that knowing that I was bfed (for 9 months) and having seen mum bf my two sisters (but I only remember the youngest feeding), would have to be the main, in fact only influences for me, up until falling pg and researching further. I know that now I am fully open to extended bfing, but prior to Jack being born I thought it was really weird (but then again I had only come across it once prior to joining the ABA). I had also been funny on people bfing in public (huh, look at me now LOL!!).

So I guess what I'm trying to ask is, if you aren't bfed yourself or haven't had younger bfed siblings, then what would make you want to bf? And the same is true of extended bfing - if it is so taboo that the few who do it try not to do it in public, how will anyone ever know how normal and healthy it actually is?

I have never really thought about what makes me BF, it just seemed like the natural thing to me. I was BF and so was my brother and sister, my sister BF her child when she could. I have no problem BF in public as my Mum use to tell me when she BF in public she would place a cloth nappy over her shoulder no one even realised. I do the same think and people just think she is sleeping.

Plus it so much easier no bottles to worry about as long as you have change of clothes and nappies you are ready to go.

To me it just seemed natural too. Me and my 3 sibs were all breastfed, not past 12 months though. Mum never breastfed in front of us though, she would always run into the bedroom to feed so when my brother and sister were born I guess we didnt see her alot! This shaped me! I thought, no way am I going to be embarrassed or whatever and not do it publicly!

Jo

I think growing up I only saw one aunty Breastfeed. There were no influences in my life really..

I wasn't that keep to BF my first but I did as my husband asked if I would at least try it. I then went on to BF my 2nd and 3rd sons and now hope to do my 4th..

I think the internet (which I didn't have when I had my 1st and 2nd) have helped me have a greater understanding of Breastfeeding

Aparently I was breastfed for 6 weeks, I remember my Aunties breastfeeding each others babies. But that was only once or twice, My Sister attempted BF and gave up 6 weeks in and so I followed suit there we didn't have any real influences or support for that matter but rather we educated ourselves in the art of breastfeeding, lol.

Neither myself nor my younger brother were breastfed and the only memory of anyone in my family breastfeeding is a very vague one of one of my aunts who fed my cousin for about six months.
No one has fed past that so already I'm an oddity in my family.
The longest any of my friends have breastfed is 4 months.

I really don't know why I was so determined to feed Toby except that I did regret giving it up so early with Emily. And Toby was so easy to feed that I found very early on that I really, really enjoyed it so that has also made me want to keep going. I never would have thought I'd still be feeding him now, so even if we don't continue much longer I will happy with how we've done. I'd like to go to his first birthday at least, hopefully my returning to work wont' interfere too much.

I was breastfed for 3 months. Don't think I ever saw a baby being breastfed as a child. I do recall a friend when she had her babies breastfeeding, but it didn't mean anything to me.. I was probably 15 then? Too busy with other stuff to take notice I guess. heh. My SIL breastfed her two, not sure how long.. but I know it was extended.. I think they probably kept it quiet how long night feeds etc went on, coz everyone reckoned it was for her benefit & not bub's ( :( must admit I caught onto that thinking, and thought it was strange to b/f so long).

My biggest influence was BellyBelly :) I started researching falling pregnant with PCOS and lo & behold learnt SOOOO much more than that from this site! hehe. Both DH & I naturally wanted what was best for bub (DH had a real fear of having a baby with something wrong with it... so everything was based on keeping things as natural as possible during pg, labour (hopefully improving this one this time ;) ) and babyhood) and reading about all these breastfeeding mums here & contacting the ABA made me determined to breastfeed and DH has been a fantastic support for everything. Without BB, I would have been greatly influenced by mum's experience, and I've friends who FF, so 'normal' for me would probably have swayed towards attempting it for a little while, but switching to artificial milk at some stage.

I'm hoping to be an influence to others, I do breastfeed in front of people.. if it is in front of other men, I do ask if it is ok.. I figure it's only polite.. I know it's natural & all, but I don't feel making others uncomfortable is going to help our cause. heh. Most, even if they are uncomfortable probably feel obliged to say it's ok anyway, but at least they only have themselves to blame if they're uncomfortable! LOL. I do make an extra effort to breastfeed & change our cloth nappies in front of other young girls, and have had some great conversations about both! It's hard to expose extended breastfeeding, or breastfeeding through a pregnancy tho, coz the feeds tend to be more at home than while we're out, but I do try to let people know we're still feeding (much to their surprise usually).

Great thread :)

im with you Liz...BELLYBELLY!!! :D

My mum tried to breastfeed my sister and I but "had no milk" :dunno:

I dont recall ever seeing ANYONE breastfeed a baby as I was growing up. However somethign deep inside me told me how important it was for me to breastfeed my babies.

We have been feeding for 3 months now and I never wanna stop! I will do ANYTHING to ensure my babies are breastfed :D

what a great thread!

My mum bf me for 10 months when i self weaned and bf two of my sisters not sure how long for and i don't remember seeing her bf. All of my aunites and cousins ff their kids and i don't have any friends who bf either. I just never thought of ff, bf seemed the natural thing to do. i read lots of books about bf at the library whilst pg and i learnt a bit from belybelly. I used to bf in front of anyone and to my surprise no-one ever batted an eyelid male/female. Unfortunately due to lack of support and my son needing an op at 3 weeks then having servere reflux i ended up ff at 5 weeks, i have regretted it ever since. Hopefuly next bub will be extended bfing, and i will have no hestitaions feeding where ever! I will be joining ABA and going to meetings when im pg again.

caro - thankyou so much for your support, you are a very special person, your post gave me warm fuzzies!

I always thought BFing was the normal way to feed a kid, and thought i'd do it for at least 6 weeks (funny now that seems so long ago). I saw my aunt BFing her boys for about 5 or 6 months each and thought that was the normal time to stop.

My biggest influence was my best friend Christina. I've known her since i was 10. She had kids a few years before me and her 1st she BFed for just under 2 years. She is an inspiration to me in so many ways, and BFing is definitely one of them.

Bec

I wasn't breastfed and neither were my two younger sisters. I have never known anyone that has breastfed. Before I had Grace I had the attitude that if I could do it I would, if not oh well...I wasn't going to stress about it. I suppose the main reason that I do it is because I can. I know there is a lot of health benefits etc but I figure that I can do it so why spend money on formula, especially seeing I'm not working we need to save money, and that it is so much easier to go out as long as I take me along! Sometimes I enjoy it, sometimes I don't but because I know that I can do it, I would actually be really disappointed if I had to stop right now. Having said that I don't have any plans to do extended breastfeeding. My current goal is 6 months and then whatever happens from there I am comfortable with. I will probably wean her before I go back to work for convenience - although by law work has to allow me to express etc, it just gets very complicated. Having said that, I may hit the 6 month period and my goals may change. We'll just take each day at a time.

I am very lucky and actually never considered any other option than BFing because that's all I knew. I was just turned 19 when I had DS1, and at the time, my mum was breastfeeding her 5th child, my 15 month old sister. We were all breastfed and I was the eldest. I had lived out of home since 16yo, but when I visited with family or friends, mum was very open about BFing, no going to rooms, etc and BFed my sister till she was 18 months old.

So me and my mum were actually BFing at the same time. When I had a baby, I actually never made the decision in my head, I didn't think there was a decision IYKWIM?

I actually had no idea how it is and can be till this baby and till I've read these forums. Also, reactions I have gotten BFing in public are also different here (in my local area which is in a different state to where I had my other children), people seem shocked about it?

So I see now, I was very lucky with the influence I had.

Although I was brought up around bottles, I never considered infant milk to be anything other than breastmilk - it came as a shock to discover that my family did formula, even when I'd seen the bottles being warmed up! Bottles were seen as normal, but I didn't even know formula existed for years. As far as I knew, there was no decision to make - baby gets breastmilk. Then I was bombarded with pressure to use formula and that just made me more determined to breastfeed.

Plus formula is expensive and we can't really afford it.

:

---

I do breastfeed in front of people.. if it is in front of other men, I do ask if it is ok.. I figure it's only polite.. I know it's natural & all, but I don't feel making others uncomfortable is going to help our cause. heh. Most, even if they are uncomfortable probably feel obliged to say it's ok anyway, but at least they only have themselves to blame if they're uncomfortable! LOL.

Great thread :)

---

Liz you made me remember I when to show off Charly at work and have a meeting to discuss going back, Charly was hungry so asked if I could BF in the meeting, I had a cloth over my shoulder so he couldn't see anything, he said yes but the looks on his face was priceless, one for shock and two relief when he realised what the cloth was for.LOL

I thought I would have a problem in public, because I am very shy, but quite the opposite baby comes first. Mine you I don't have my breast on show you can be very discrete about it ... plus sum of those baby rooms are really smelly. Much prefer a comfortable set at a coffee shop. I use to be able to walk around with her feeding because she was only 2.5kg not anymore.

Before I became pregnant I had read in 'what to expect when you are expecting' that breasteeding was the healthiest option. I didn't think much more about about it - i just decided that i wanted to give my baby the 'best/healthiest/etc'. I also thought it was a beneift that breastmilk on tap comes free! Whilst bottle feeding is $$$$.

I was young with my first child (19) so breastfeeding didn't come easy. However with the help and encouragement of several midwives in Norther Nsw (LBH) I gained enough confidence to make it through the first 4 days - that was half the battle.

The second battle was breastfeeding in public. Thats can be inimidating for a young mum. However, i found a way to breastfeed discreetly and ... I made it! I have sucessfully breastfeed 4 of my children up until around 12 months (and i intend to breast feed my next baby aswell)

I think society has come along way in supporting breastfeeding mothers however, there is quite a way to go. Wouldn't it be great to see a proactive ad campaign helping 'society' understand the benefits of breastfeeding. The government spends thousands of $$$$ trying to prevent people from smoking, drinking etc ... it would be great to see the same advertising effort put in the 'priceless' benefits of breastfeeding.

xo Dee.

I hear you on BFing in public when you are young seventh heaven, when I had DS1 I had just turned 19, but admittedly looked much younger. I got shocked stares everywhere I went with him, haha funny now when I look back as I was married at the time and was even married before I conceived DS, so less 'sinful' than I am now LOL. When I was BFing him in the main area of the mother's room, I had two mother's come up to me and ask if he was really mine...this is when he was attached to my breast! I was shocked and didn't answer at first and they stood there over me and kept asking.
I've learned a lot since then and don't take stuff like that anymore from people. I still must look young, I still get asked for ID when I'm buying a scratchie now, and I'm nearly 28!

What's also a bit sad is that in my area now that BFing in public seems very unusal and people stare at me. I take a muslim wrap and drape it over my shoulder so no one can see, but I refuse to feed in those baby rooms that have the bins placed next to the feeding chair...it's just wrong. So I feed him at the shops in the food court, and the other day I had to feed him in maccas (no baby room) and my kids ask me heaps why so many people keep staring at us. I don't look around anymore because it upsets me a bit, but it bothers me that even my kids feel intimidated. I just say to them 'I don't know', not letting them know that BFing in public here for some reason isn't acceptable. It's a rich area here, a lot of stuck up people (we are seaside) so I think that's part of the reason. It's bad when people will finsish their meal deliberately walk right past slowly where we are sitting and glare at me, DP has said something twice now to people who have done that, makes him really annoyed that people act like I am doing something wrong. I mean you can't even see my baby's head, let alone my boob! Dont' know what's wrong with people sometimes.

I also think the fact that my mother was a breastfeeder also helped. Being the eldest of four, I have memories of her breastfeeding. I just thought you breastfed babies! I really do think it's a big thing.

When I had the whole cracked and split nipple (I call it a split as it was a very deep crack, but not sure what it really was!) with blisters, I never conciously thought of the bottle, I knew I breastfed my baby and there would be a solution to my problem. Hurt like heck for sure, I had the whole toe curling, eye watering thing on attachment. But to continue breatfeeding I had the option of resting that nipple and expressing, which would have still rubbed on the spot of the split. So I kept feeding through and it eventually healed. I have fed both babes over 2 and I am really proud of myself for following my babies leads...

My mother did not BF me and in fact was quite put off by the whole concept. She had a very negative ealry attempt at BF in hospital after a c/s (the nurse brough me in the next day and forced me to the breast - apparently I had blood all over my face by the time the "session" was over and mum was understandably crying). I think her BF issues have to do with her early experiences with her own mother, too.

But all that said my mum did childcare and mouthed the "breast is best" line, albeit without any heartfelt conviction. She just didn't "get it".

I was committed to BF and read up heaps about it before Flynn was born, so much so that when I was in hospital with him I had lactation consultants asking me if I had BF before. Apparently my technique was quite good from the start, and while I was lucky that Flynn was a good sucker and had no mouth/palate probs, I knew about different holds, the let down reflex, breast protection, correct attachment, the fact that it was a "relationship" that had to develop and so on. I truly felt that by the time that my baby was born all I needed wasa kid to practice on.

So luckily for me my BIGGEST influence WRT BF was the ABA's book "Breastfeeding...Naturally". It really set me up for success in so many ways. Now as i count down to bub # 2 I look forward to doing it all again.

As for my mum? She said to me when Flynn was little that "it must be so wonderful to know that your body nourished him in the womb and is still nourishing him today". Needless to say, she now "gets it" :)

ETA: As for BF in public, it has never bothered me in the slightest. I must be a "streaker" at heart ;)

:

---

it must be so wonderful to know that your body nourished him in the womb and is still nourishing him today

---

what a gorgeous sentence!! I love it :D

I had my mum who often tells me that both my brothers and I were bf for a yr each. Despite my brother being 10wks early (36ysr ago) and me being 6wks early (28yrs ago), born in quite traumatic conditions, all births begining with attempted vag. births, all ending in caesars.
She travelled on a train with a 14mth old toddler for 30mins then walked for 20mins to get to the hospital to give my brother ebm, he was in hospital for 8wks. The nurses told her he would grow better if she gave him bm so she did what it took to get it to him. She did the same for me, but didn't have the toddlers to drag around too, and I was in hospital for only 4wks. She then went on the bf us sor a yr. She also expressed extra to give to the other bubs in the scn!
Unfortunately I did not sem to inherit her capacity to produce copious amounts of milk and I am both ff and bf (about half half) due to health complications. But I have persevered and was very disappointed not to be able to fully bf. Hopefully next time will work out differently for me!!

Thanks for all your interesting replies. I have enjoyed reading them all. It does seem that there are limited bfing influences out there for those who don't witness it at home.
There have been lots of discussions about the influences ffing images in the media etc have on mothers' feeding choices, but I'm thinking that a real problem is the lack of bfing images in the media etc.

The bfing in public issues is also interesting. In reading your stories, it occurred to me that the reason I was funny about feeding in public at first was that I had heard people talking about it in the past, as if it wasn't the right thing to do. I now feed everywhere in public (usually on the floor in the middle of a shop as that is the only place Tom will drink LOL), and luckily I have not noticed any negativity. For those of you that have, good on you for proudly continuing. You are champions!!

I've been thinking alot about this over the past few days. I only saw one family member breastfeed. She was a neo natal nurse and had a 27 weeker and was pumping all the time. I have 8 aunts and heaps of cousins & I didn't see any others breastfeed growing up.

But to me it feels as if it should be more natural, should be seen more. My grandmother had all 10 children at home, breastfed them all... and yet its not something that was passed down to her children.

I knew that my sister and I had been BF and that my family in Central America were all BFer's, but didn't really get exposed to it growing up (I didn't ever meet my CA family till 2003). There was one family friend, who my mum reliably informed me was vulgar (they were atheists and my mum must have confused it with anarchism, and blamed anarchism for this behaviour) because she breastfed in public. "It's normal in Spain, but we're in Australia for goodness sake", the implication being that we are more civilised and keep our naked bodies out of sight. Thankfully, by the time I did have a child, I was well over the taboo about feeding in public. I never did subscribe to my mum's feelings on that one!!
Later in life, when the partying stopped, I joined the fire brigade, and it just so happens that the brigade members' partners are all BFers. So, when they were having babies a few years ago, I got quite a good dose of BF talk, so in the space of 4 years, BFing had become totally normalised. Not only that, at least 2 of them were extended BFers. By the time I was preggers, I knew that I would be doing infant-led weaning - whereas, had I thought about it at all 6 years ago, I would not have known that not weaning your child is actually a more beneficial choice. That said, it did always bother me that animals needed to be 'weaned'. As soon as I knew what that meant, as a younger person, I wondered why it had to be done if there weren't any humans to enforce all this weaning in the wild for these animals.
For me, my BFing influences have converged over time - mainly external, but also these niggling questions about animals in the wild!!

I guess in a way I was lucky, myself and my two younger sisters were all bf by my mother. I remember photos of Mum feeding me and one in particular of us when I was 15 mths old (just before she weaned me). So that was definitely an impetus!

Altho, she did still believe a few things that weren't correct (like needing to wean to fall pg, which she did with us) and I also remember thinking it was a bit strange to be bfing an older child. Now I am all for it for as long as you and your child want to!