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Just wanting to hear both sides of whether or not to have the baby in our bedroom or in his/her own room. I'm actually planning on having the baby in the bedroom next to ours, and I'll set up a comfy chair in there for feeding at night.
My mum has said it's better to have the baby in another room, else you wake to all their little noises all the time.
Are there pros/cons to this? What do you guys do or plan to do?
Elijah is 9 months and sleeps in our room, he only wakes for a feed and sleeps well. Marisa slept with us for two years, we tried the cot first but after a great deal of struggle and heartache, we co-slept and she now sleeps well in her own bed (from 2.5 years).
I haven't had any problems with babies waking from noises at a young age because they need and want sleep for a little while. I believe that if you tiptoe around babies when they are sleeping, they will get used to sleeping when it's peaceful and quiet and as they get older and more noises are inevitable, especially when you have number two - they wont be able to sleep with noise around them! So I encourage people to go about their lives as normal when babies are put to bed, no creeping out the room etc. My nanna always told me how her son would sleep through her vacuuming in his room and all - now that would be great :)
I also believe that if babies wake for whatever reason and cry, I want to be woken up so I can comfort them. Their crying is a survival response and it's all they have to tell you that something isn't right - and usually that is because they are tired, hungry, wet, frightened etc - not because they heard a noise. When I went into the Mother and Baby Unit with sleeping issues with my first, they had several days where they had problems with the fire alarm going off - those things are SO loud. Not one baby woke from it at 9.30pm.
I agree... I don't plan on tip-toeing around the baby when he/she's asleep.
I'm not planning on ignoring cries in the night :) But mum said that babies make little noises and stuff while they sleep, and when you're aware of the baby all the time, it can disturb your own sleep. Of course, if the baby wakes and something is wrong I'm sure he/she won't hesitate to let me know about it! LOL
I don't think you'll have a problem sleeping LOL ;) Babies have a way of draining every little ounce of energy from you and I am sure you'll have no issues falling asleep and staying that way hehehe.... :)
Didn't mean to sound pushy btw. just my thoughts and the main thing you need to do is what your head and heart tells you that you want to do. Listen to your heart and follow your instincts. Much nicer that way :)
Kameron slept in his own room from the moment we brought him home. Lachlan however slept in our room but in a basinette next to the bed for his 1st 4weeks as he was feeding every 2 hours and I couldn't be bothered getting out of bed to sort him out ;)
Love
Ivana - I understand what you are asking, cause it happened to me when I brought Aidyn home and tried to sleep in the same room as him. I just couldn't sleep, as every time he so much as made a sigh or a squeak I would be awake. I was just far to on edge as a new mother, and it was affecting my sleep 10 times worse by sharing a room with him. So I moved back into my own bedroom with DP and left Aidyn in his own room nextdoor, I could still hear every noise he made so I wasn't too worried. It was a bit easier on me sleep-wise, but very annoying when I had to trek out of bed to get to him every night.
As he got older I became a lot more relaxed and he would end up co-sleeping in our bed with us at least half the night - every night, until at least 8 months old. And after that we moved his cot into our bedroom against our bed, and he stayed in there with us until he was just over 1 yr.
i plan on having bubs sleep in their own room from get go. my reasons are a little different, and many people (my parents) don't understand or think i will change my mind at least for the early months - we'll see.
basically we have two 'babies' already - my cats, sam and kah. they sleep with us and i don't really feel it would be fair to kick them out of 'their' bedroom, particularly as i am already worried they might get jealous of a new addition to the family (and they are completely indoor cats). we hav already shut off the 'baby's' room, and my boys know that they are not allowed in there - they will now no longer even enter if the door is left open.
we have a spare bed in the baby's room so if the newborn is feeding really regularly i may just crash in there - and DH and i have pretty much decided that i will express some milk so he can get up and feed bubs during the middle of the night as well.
basically we want to keep our room as 'ours' (and the cats, who already use it as a sanctuary when we have visitors).
Kynan sleeps in our bedroom and probably will until he either shows some signs of needing to be in his own room or when he starts regularly sleeping through. It's so much easier on us having him in our room at this stage, especially as it is the colder months so we don't have to go so far to get him when he cries. Also, he often settles a lot quicker when he can sense we are near.
In the beginning I used to wake up when he made his little noises but I got used to them pretty quickly and now only wake up when he cries or starts making those 'I need you now' noises (also I'm usually so exhausted by the end of the day that not much would wake me up besides that LMAO!).
With my first DD I put her in her own room, but with my 2nd DD I put her snuggle bed on my bed as she was a 1 1/2 - 2 hourly feeder to begin with. I did this for about 8 weeks. Once her feeding settled down I then moved her to her own room and had a monitor in my room. When this little one is born it will depend on how I feel and what type of baby she is etc. I don't think there are any hard and fast rules especially when it comes to babies.
Amy has been in her cot since we bought her home. Our dogs sleep in our room so having her there as well is not an option. Also we are not comfortable with co-sleeping and if they do stop breathing how will you know as you will be asleep? We have an Angelcare monitor so we will know if she stops breathing as it will alarm. We do hear all her noises through the monitor but mainly sleep through them. We can hear her cry as her room is next to ours and also hear through the monitor.
We are having baby in our room as there is no other choice, we're in a 2 bedder and Im not putting bub with DD. With DD and prob with this one, I had her in my bed anyway. There's no way Im getting up to feed when Im that tired, so I change the nappy once and then bring bub in bed. Much more relaxing!!
Baby will be sleeping in our bedroom right from the start. I don't actually like 'nurseries' and refuse to create one! When bub is ready to have his/her own room then he/she will move into one.
i'm with Gemma & Misty for the same reasons. It is important to me to retain a sense of autonomy (with DH) & I think there are little things you can do to preserve a sense of you being a person/couple rather than just a mother if that makes sense.
Dont get me wrong.... there isn't an ounce of me that isn't completely & utterly devoted & in love with this bub (& I haven't even met him yet :) ) but he really will not know the difference because he comes to this world without expectation. I am happy to maintain my space & my cat Hannah will be more than happy too.... besides, DH can't really do anything to help in the middle of the night so I am also wanting to make sure he can still function with his daily business needs.
Wow thanks for all these replies. I'm still really none-the-wiser which way to go.. coz both ways sound good! hehe
I think I still like the idea of the baby in the room next to ours, with a monitor. I'm hoping to breastfeed, so if I can do that in another room it won't disturb DH too much, and an overtired DH would be more than I could handle! lol.
Sal - I don't like the classic 'nurseries' either. The only baby thing that'll be in the room will be the type of bed, and probably nappies everywhere! hehe. I'm not one to do up a room all baby-like. I think that sort of thing is for the mother more than the baby... coz the baby's not going to remember any of it! If I don't sort out the spare bedroom before March, the poor baby will be sleeping amongst books and a soccer table, and chairs. LOL.
Yasin is still in my room at 9 months and when he moves ito his own room DH and I are both going to miss him. I can't imagine going to all the trouble of getting out of bed and going to another room every time he wants to feed. Its so much easier to just feed him lying down in bed. I was reading an article recently which claims that recent research shows that cot death rates are lowest in environments where babies sleep within arms reach of thier parents but in thier own bed (ie a cot with one side off, a side car thingy, or bassinet or hammock within arms reach).
The NSW coroners department announced about a month ago that it will be making new reccomendations regarding co-cleeping to SIDS and KIDS because there has been an increase in the amount of shared bed related deaths in the last couple of years. So although I shared a bed with Yasin quite often I think I will do so less with Meeny.
I think that its probably best to have a wait and see approach. Once you meet your baby you will have a better idea about what will suit him/her. Lots of people find themselves reappraising thier ideas once thier baby arrives. I know I changed my mind on a few issues fairly quickly.
I wouldn't worry to much about your DH getting woken up. Mine managed to develop selective hearing fairly fast and sleeps through most of Yasin's feeds - although I find that when a napy needs changing a kick in the shins is sometimes a powerful aid to hearing ;).
hi there
my first dd was in our room for the first 2 weeks but she was a terribly noisy sleeper, she hiccuped, grunted, farted, you name it she did it and i just couldn't sleep lol, so she went into her own room in the bassinet. with a monitor.
my second ds was going to be in our room but that lasted only 1 night as dd (21mths at the time) was extremely jealous of the new baby sleeping in our room so we thought it being such a big change for her we would move my son into his own room.
with lani she was as quiet as a mouse and slept in our room till she was around 4mths old and i really missed having her in there with us. we are in a bigger house now and i was a tiny bit worried that ds would see why she was crying in the middle of the night before i got to her and he might of accidently tipped up the bassinet.
as for feeding in the middle of the night - i usually get up and feed with the telly on for light (on mute), this suited me fine. however if they woke up after a feed and needed a top up i just usually popped them into bed to feed, this was so easy with lani as i would then just pop her back in the bassinet without having to get up. also the bassinet was close to my bed so if she got a bit unsettled i would lye in bed and rock the bassinet with one hand lol.
i have counselling with sids and kids due to the loss of my first daughter and my counsellor was telling me that sids and kids do recommend that the babies sleep in the same room (but not co sleep) as there parents for the first six months. something to do with the baby and mother being in sinc with their breathing - dunno if there has been studies on it, just something i was told.
good luck
dachlo - I think I'd be scared of falling asleep if I was feeding in bed. I think I'll make myself up a nice cozy corner in the baby's room. Should get a nice rocking chair :)
There seems to be so many suggestions re SIDS that it's hard to know what to do and what not to do. I think still not enuf is known, and suggestions seem to always be changing. I'm hoping just a monitor with the baby will calm my fears enuf.
I don't want the baby learning to breathe like DH! He has verry irregular breathing at night. Bit of a worry sometimes. (Hope it's not hereditary!):
recommend that the babies sleep in the same room (but not co sleep) as there parents for the first six months. something to do with the baby and mother being in sinc with their breathing
But yeah.. I agree, my ideas will no doubt change as things progress. Just like we have all these ideals on how we'll discipline our kids, and teach them to read nice and early etc etc. I've heard it all before from other people, and when it comes time, it doesn't always work like that. heheh. But I know I'm definitely reading to my belly (DH too) as soon as baby has ears! :)
Because I was a single mum, my oldest boy Brendan stayed in his cot in my room until he was 2 and a half. With Daniel, who has just turned 3, I'm married now and we decided that having him in our room for the first 12 months at least was the way to go. There isn't much space in our room but it worked out.
Father in Law wasn't that supportive but there you go.
There are no bedrooms close by to put babies in in our house so the new baby will be in with us as well. I think I would spend most of the night walking up and down the hallway to make sure that they are still breathing - even with a monitor.
Joshua slept with us for the first 4 months. We then set up his own room next door and he enjoyed sleeping in his own bed for part of the night and in "the big bed" with mummy and daddy for the rest of the night after his 2am feeds.
He weened himself at 10 months and has slepts in his own bed. He is very happy when he wakes up and giggles to let us know he is awake.
You have to find your own comfortable practice and baby will let you know what they want IYKWIM!!!
Love Jen
Jenna is 16 weeks old and still sleeps in our room in her bassinette. I love it and have learned to tune out the noises that dont mean "help please!". I dont want to move her out, but its got to be done sometime. More for selfish reasons as I dont want to have to get too far out of bed to comfort her!!
I think we are moving her cot into either our room or our living room (opposite the bedroom) in the next week or so cause she is finally outgrowing the bass.
Do what works for you - you wont know until you try it. But dont listen to other peoples advice until you know what to expect! ;) Remember every baby is different!! (So is every parent......)
Fi
I think I had a discussion with Pinky McKay a little while ago, about SIDS actually have safe guidelines for co-sleeping now and supporting co-sleeping when going by these guidelines.
Co-sleeping is sometimes frowned on by others and some people think you are playing with your baby's life in doing it, but when following the guidelines, it is safe. I co-slept with Marisa for a long time and never rolled on her, squashed her or blankets never covered her face. Elijah was also in the bed sometimes when he'd fall asleep at the breast at night and was perfectly fine too.
So many choices, so many different mums - thank goodness different things appeal to different people ;)
I said I wasn't going to have Matthew in our room from the start but being in hospital and having him next to me in there, I just had to have him close by at home. Until about 5 weeks, as he outgrew the bassinette then, so we put him in his cot in his own room, he didn't miss a beat!
I think if your bubs is in your room, you just get used to the noises, like getting used to sleeping in the same room as your DH?
Just do what works for you when the time comes, I've been lucky and Matthew has slept right through from 7 weeks, so co-sleeping has never been an issue, but it is something I would do if it was the only thing that made him sleep, for sure!
Doing the nursery is so much fun! Amy sleeps really well in her cot. I forgot to mention that we had her in a Tetra bed for the first 3 weeks and she is now in the cot on her own in a Grobag. She doesn't like being wrapped since 2 weeks old and used to struggle and grunt until her arms were free. We did have her in a bassinet in the loungeroom for during the day for the first 3 days so she was close to us.
Matthew`s in our room and we wouldn`t have it any other way, in the beginning his little noises did wake me but now I only wake when he wants me and DH has been sleeping all noises/cries from very early days. Matthew has a very large cradle so will be in it for some time, when he goes into his cot he`ll still be in our room, mainly because we don`t have a spare room for him but even if we did he`ll be in our room :D
Alexander was in our room for about 4weeks. I kept waking for every little sound he made so it was better for me to move him into his own room so i could get some sleep. Since then we have both slept much better.
We had Jacob in a bassinette in our room until he was around 11 - 12w old by which time he had to go into the cot in his own room because he had outgrown the bassinette. He had outgrown it a few weeks earlier but I just couldn't bring myself to put him in another room yet!!
Yes, they can make lots of grunting/gurgling noises and even do little cries in their sleep (not the "I'm hungry, feed me NOW" type cries) and at first, I was awake and ready to leap out of bed for each and every one of them, but I got used to it and tuned out a bit from those (I was still aware of them but I would just drift back off to sleep) and only woke up properly for the proper cries. When Jacob went into his own room, I actually missed the closeness of him being in our room, right near us, and I missed hearing him breathe and his little gurgles etc! It took me a while to get used to not having him in our room!
Ivana_baby - we had hendrix in the room in a bassinet for 3 weeks but i did find his grunts and groans were stopping me from sleeping. His room is next to ours so i hear him (i do hear some loud groans still!!) but i also know what his noises mean know. We bring him into bed from around 5am to co-sleep until we surface and he loves that but otherwise is quite content in his room. I also have his room set up beautifully for feeding so that we remain in his room throughout the night.
with my first we shared a room, her and I, until we moved in with DH, (then DP) which turned out to be over 2 yrs, the 2nd was in the bassinette in our room till he was too big for it, 5 mths and then went into his own and I had a monitor. The 3rd was in our room till 7 mths and even then DH wanted her to stay, and the 4th was 8 mths.
I lovwed them being there, I didn't have to go far to tend to them, I could feed them snuggled in bed esp in the cold weather, and I really didn't hear every noise, just the louder ones. Even know I have the monitor on in Jessica's room, she's 11 mths, and I don't hear everything, only the louder noises. and I don't get up to her either, but as she is fairly far away I know when she is awake in the mornings.
I think it is improtant to do what you feel is right, maybe try your room and if it's no good, then move the bub out or visa versa. I loved to hear them breathe and sigh and move around, so it suited me.
In addition to my earlier post:
I loved having Joshua in bed with us when he was first born. When he first moved into his own room I used to wake up in the middle of the night looking for him and Id get worried cause I never saw him and thought DH had rolled on top of him - LOL. I was more worried and slept less when I couldnt hear him - its funny the things we get used to!!!!
Love Jen
You remidned me Jen of the time I had woken, fed Jessica, put her in the bassinette and fallen asleep still with the light on. I woke to hear DH screaming out, where is she? Are you lying on her? Is she ok! ANd cos I was half asleep I was saying "I've got her, she's here, I'm holding her." SO he couldn't see and assumed I had dropped her out of the bed. After about a minute I realised what he was saying and told him she was in the bassinette. I really had him paniced.
I didn't like having bubs there cos of Dh rolling, but I loved to cuddle while feeding.
Cheers Michelle
Gabby has slept in her cradle in her room since the 2nd night we were home. We tried having her in our room for the first night (I had even re-arranged the bedroom) but we didn't get much sleep.
Our house has very thin walls and her room is right next to ours so I can hear her cry. I had Neil put one of our lounge-suite chairs in her room so I could BF when she was waking at night.
I have tried co-sleeping a few times but it just didn't work for me. I just felt like I was going to squash her. I think if I was a smaller person, I might be a little more comfortable?? They say that larger people have to be careful when co-sleeping too.
Honestly, it's definitely each to their own. You are not going to know what you are going to be comfortable with or what works for yourself and your baby until the baby is here. So I say keep an open mind. You may end up with bubs in your room or in it's own room. Whatever works and results in sleep for you and the baby is all that matters!
Yeah, it sounds like it's pretty common to give one thing a go and then switch to something else that suits better.
I definitely won't be missing the cries, the room will be right next to ours, it's just gonna be getting myself out of bed that'll be the challenge :) I'll try and be organised.. have a nice warm dressing gown ready to throw on, and a cozy chair in the bub's room to sit in while bf. I'll see how I go.
Sounds like a plan!
Honestly.... the first 6 weeks are kind of a blur so you do just muddle through it. But you do come out the other end and it somehow just falls into place eventually! All trial and error :)
LOL Shannon, we kept them longer in our room the further down the line we got. Well except for Jordan but there was no choice but to share with her till over 2 cos I had one bedroom at Mum's and we shared. As I said Josh was 5 mths, Jemma was 7 mths and Jess was about 8-9mths. Arron would have had them stay forever but I wanted to paint (still haven't) and get my room looking like a grownups room.
Cheers Michelle
Yep sounds pretty right to me Shannon, PMSL though cos if you have 6 and your house is small, they may be there permanently!
CheersMichelle