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Let's all put together a list of what we think are the hardest things about being a new mum to a newborn for the very first time. I will start.
1. Realising that instinct / hidden knowledge doesn't kick in magically - being a mum is a learned thing and we are not born knowing everything about babies. (So we shouldn't be so hard on ourselves!!).
I agree with the feeling isolated bit
3 - the post natal mood swings
I still remember yelling at a 5yr old on my doorstep for banging on the door on Halloween with trick or treat. Kameron was only 4 days old and i had only come out of hospital the day before. After I yelled at the kid, I then sat on the bed and cried.
Love
4. The pain you feel when you think your baby is sick for the first time, and the fact that even though YOU know. Everyone treats you like a paranoid first time mother who hasn't got a clue, and then when someone finally does listen to you, you are even more annoyed that your child has had to suffer this long in the first place. So any MTB's out there remember always listen to your instinct no matter what, if you don't feel comfortable with the diagnosis then get a second opinion. And just because your nurse tells you something...doesn't mean its always right.
*hugs*
Cailin
5. How tired you feel for those first few weeks, but you know you have to keep going for your baby
Love
Everyone tells you about the sleep deprivation, but I never thought that it would only take one night of non-sleep to turn into a monster ! And if I couldn't catch it up the following day ... how many episodes of that richard wilkins music show did i watch ...
And taking six weeks for breast feeding to kick in properly. I am so glad I kept at it.
Barb.
those grazed nipples from bad breastfeeding placements...
feeling like you can't finish one task to the end!
Not knowing what your baby wants eg they have been fed, changed and burped but are still crying.
Feeling guilty about not being able to breast feed, but really not wanting to do it.
Realising that there really is crap on TV in the middle of the night unless you have pay tv and then you can what some great movie, or start to before you fall asleep feeding.
Cheers Michelle
1. Feeling guilty about everything from, still being in your pj's at 2pm to
not having dinner on the table when hubby comes home etc..
2. Having to listen to EVERYONES opinions on how to do anything, even
people you don't even know.
3. All that conflicting advice from midwives in the hospital re:
breastfeeding....do it this way....no do it my way....too confusing!
Jo
ok... I'm all with the not knowing what to do after bf, changing, bath, burp etc... and STILL crying! Speaking of....
Christy
listening to your baby cry for an hour while dad burps him and changes nappy, and you are cooking tea, only to come in and find baby laying down alone while dad plays xbox.
(after we had tea, I picked him up and sang to him for 30 seconds, and he was out like a light)
So I guess my point was having to let dad make his own mistakes when you kniw you can do it better/quicker/easier/stop the crying.
for me it was the broken sleep, i dont mind getting up early but when its broken, i get grumpy, but know i have to do it for my baby's well being..
and yep totally agree when there crying in the middle of the night and youve done everything and still crying!! for joshua though he just needed a dummy, after he got that he was fine
The arguments I would have with DP in the middle of the night because he was incapable of getting up even ONCE to tend to crying DS - even though I had gotten up the previous 5 times!!!
feeling anxious, depressed and alone, and not knowing how to feel better... (I now know that the answer is SLEEP!!!)
I would have to say Christian has been as close to perfect as you can get so the only hard things would be the way you seem to not exist anymore and the way your family uses them as an excuse to butt in to your everyday lives.
the sore boobs when your milk comes in and for the first week or so of breast feeding. OUCHIE!!!
the fatigue, I never knew I could be so tired!!!
family butting in just when you want to go to sleep
when they cry and nothing seems to cheer them up, those unsettled days can be killer.
Not being having time to sit at the table for a meal. When Mitchell was about 4 or 5 months old I let him home to have lunch with the girls. I couldn't believe I was actually sitting down to eat with a knife AND a fork at the same time. I think we just lived on toast for that long!!
definantly the lack of sleep.
and the packing everything and taking ages to run in and grab bread and milk with a small baby in tow.
nikki
Feeling absolutely helpless when baby has been crying for such a long time and nothing you do will settle him...
I remember being so physically and mentally drained that while breast feeding during the night, I would drift off to sleep and waking up so disorentated that I didn't know if I had just started feeding or finished.
They say in the weeks leading up to the birth of your baby you should get as much rest and sleep as possible, because you don't get very much when baby arrives. This makes no difference. There is nothing worst than not getting enough sleep, and the little sleep you do get is broken.
Not knowing what is wrong and nothing settles them when they are screaming the house down and you've tried everything you can think of.
Thought I would bump this topic as there are lots of new mums out and loads more coming up...
The hardest thing, beside the loss of sleep, is trying not to be too protective! Let Dad do what he needs to even though it's not how you would do it!
Also, changing them all the time, nappy. clothes and bedding, because they poo, wee and vomit all the time.
The broken sleep, knowing that you are going to have to get up in three hours or so can be really depressing.
Not being able to eat a meal together.
Feeling judged by family members who think they know better what baby wants/needs etc.
Finally getting baby off to sleep and deciding to try for some yourself only to have her wake up just as you drift off.
Not being able to sleep when baby is asleep - my mind keeps churning over & I just can't nod off *yawn*
I tried and tried to sleep when baby slept it was totally impossible for me too !! I heard all the little voices in my head saying "sleep NOW", I heard DH telling me to sleep, I even heard the girl at the coffee shop telling me to sleep .... never could ...
I also think Doctors who won't listen to your mothers instincts.
I also get annoyed when I got out to places and you carn't find a plastic cup !!! especially at my parents place ..
Also those looks you get in public when your bub is crying ....
*bump*
- SLEEP DEPRIVATION!!! By far the *worst, worst* thing ever!
- How much "stuff" you need to take just to walk outside the front door for 10 minutes - no longer can you just pick up your bag and keys and walk out the door
- How hard breastfeeding can be at first
Not being able to comfort them, and then having DF walk in and pick bubs up and hearing silence.
Lack of sleep
Lack of consideration - on everyone's part - from the post man to the census form guy *grrrrr*
Not being able to settle your baby for no apparent reason
Special alone time with DH
IKWYM there, why is it that people feel the need to knock on the door so hard???:
just adjusting to being a mum full stop. is such a different world from the one you knew, and pretty different to how you had imaginged it.
Selfish grandparents thinking that it's all about them and their need to see bubs instead of being sensitive to the needs of the newborn or the new parents :angry:
Having a newborn with nasty reflux and not being able to do anything for them :(
I agree with all of the above but the biggest thing for me was realising I had someone so dependent upon me I was never going to be alone...which was also the best thing!
For me personally it was an intense loneliness, as though only myself and the baby exist. Even though there's people around, i feel in a world of my own (possibly baby blues I would think). This lasts a month for me, and as much as I love meeting my new baby, it is really lonely, and totally fearful. (Im anxious at the best of times) xoxo
Figuring out what their different cries mean. Learning to breastfeed. Coping with your changing hormones while experiencing such a huge change to your lifestyle and relationships.....Lack of Sleep!
Sleep deprivation definately and the guilt attached with not being able to be everything to everybody.
Jo
EVERYONE telling you how to raise your baby ( or trying to raise it for you ).. and getting very offended when you dont follow their advice.
Next time i'll get a t-shirt saying " DONT FORGET - I AM THE MOTHER " ;)
no sleep and when she cries and cries and NOTHING helps
COuldn't have said it better myself!!!:
That and being expected to know what to do. Being a mum doesn't come naturally to everybody - just remember though being a nice, considerate person doesn't come natually to everone else either!!