I lost my baby after 5 yrs fertility treatment

I concieved after 5 yrs of fertility treatment. At 23 weeks i went into pre-mature labour and was trnsferred to a hospital with a speciaist neonatal unit. the consulatant advised me that i had one of two options. Either i would no doubt have my baby within 24 hrs and the chancesfor my baby would only be 20% with a 50/50 chance of disabilty or with a risk of having my baby immediately have a cervical cerclage, stitches to closethe cervix delaying labour. my husband and i chose the later to try and give us more time. i was in constant pain for 12 days and was at risk of getting septacemia at 25 wks 2 days. the doctors took me to theatre to remove the stitches butfound my memebranes were bulging from the back of my cervix which was in effect tearing my cervix. the doctors decided whilst in theatre that a cross section cesarean would need to be done to deliver my baby. my son was born with a good heart beat and good colour whilst i was still being closed up in theatre my son passed away. i had lost my baby having waited for him for 5 years. i came out of theatre with a c-section, messed up cervix and worst of all my lifeless baby........as strange as it sounds i feel quiet lucky at least a got to carry my baby for 6 months feel him kick and move and hold him in my arms. a feeling i never thought i would have a chance to feel.
my husband and i have decided our beautiful memory of our son is enough to keep us going rather than having further fertility treatment.
my son is forever in our thoughts and always in our heart. a painful yet beutiful memeory taht will never die or fade......

You poor thing my thoughts and love are with you.
You sound very strong about it all.
Tresure your memories they will be forever in your heart and memory.

that is so sad sofy, i am so so sorry for your loss after waiting so long for your beautiful little man :hugs:

I am so sorry to hear this may you little boy rest in peace. you both are very strong and couragous people my thoughts are with you

Sofy, I am so so sorry to hear your story. Life can be really unfair sometimes...

I dont really know what to say as I know whatever I say wont take your pain away.

You & your husband are in my thoughts & I pray you will one day have a healthy baby in your arms.

Big hugs for you & your husband :grouphug:

Sofy, I am so sorry to hear about your little boy.:hug:

Sofy - I am so sorry to read about your son :hug:

Life can be so cruel and noone should have to bury their child, believe me I know how heartbreaking it is. I have found so much support here on BB and dont know how I would have gotten through without these girls. I hope you can find as much support as I have.

Look after yourself, allow yourself to grieve in whatever way you need to and remember that your baby boy will be with your forever watching over from up above where he plays with all of our angels.

Big :hugs: to you and your DH.

Mel

Sofy-- I am so sorry for the loss of your little man. I hope that telling your story here goes some way toward the healing process for you. His memory will always be with you and I am sure he will be watching over you as you continue on your journey to parenthood. I truly hope he becomes a big brother in the not too distant future. My thoughts are with you and your DH. :hug:
Hope xo

Sofy- i am so sorry about your sweet baby boy. this grief is so overpowering at times. you are insightful to be able to draw some comfort from the fact that you carried him for six months. hang on to that feeling with all of your strength. if you don't mind me asking, what is your son's name? you will forever be his mom and hold him in your love.

the last few months would have been much harder on me had i not found the support of folks here who can (unfortunately) understand exactly what a roller-coaster grief is and assure me in ways no one else can. please join a conversation if it feels right for you. hugs and tears for you and your ds. m

Sofy, how terribly sad for you and your DH. My thoughts are with you.

Sofy, I am so sorry for your loss. Life is just so cruel and unfair sometimes, and it hurts like hell. Reading your story it is very similar to mine. We struggled for 2 years to conceive Cooper and eventually did with assisted conception, only to have him cruelly taken from us at 37 weeks by the cord. Any baby is precious but to wait for so long to finally be carrying your miracle to then lose it, is just heartbreaking. Five years is a long time and I am so sorry that you lost your little boy. My heart aches for you right now. I too take comfort in being grateful for having Cooper for 37 weeks, for getting to know him, his kicks, his movements and being able to hold him, see him and kiss him.

Your son will always be in your heart and soul and his memory will never fade. May our angels play peacefully amongst the stars until one day we meet them again.

Take care :hug:

Sofy - So sorry for your loss, and what you have been thru. I am thinking of you and your DH. I just feel so terrible for you that this has happened. Hugss

Sofy - my heart is aching for you and your DH. I can only pray that you both eventually find some way to continue life knowing that your baby boy is watching over you.

be kind to yourselves
treelo

I am so incredibly sad to read your story... I am so sorry for the loss of your little boy...
Be gentle with yourself and hold the memory of your son close... :hug:

Sofy - I am so sorry that you lost your little baby boy - there are no words to express the sorrow i feel for you and your DH right now. Be kind to yourself - you will always be his mummy no matter what and your strength is inspiring. Life is so cruel sometimes - having gone 5yrs to get him and then loose him is just tragic. My thoughts and prayer are with you both at this sad time. :hug: & :pray:

I'm so sorry sofy....my heart goes out to you.

Hugs,

I am so sorry but your sound like such a strong person.
Did you name him? I bet he was beautiful.
:hug:

i found this site by accident, but so glat i did....at home even when my husband and i talked about our beautiful baby, every one tried to avoid the conversation and change the topic. i cant thank u all enough for ur support it may have taken only a few minutes for you but it has been so much consolation. i miss my baby so much if i was told to go through it all again, just to hold him for a few minutes ot just to look at him from a distance i would say 'yes' without a second thought.....

Sofy - I wish that by some miracle that you could have some more time with your Angel, just to ease your pain. Only time tho will help you get thru this, and thru alot of support from those around you. You will find alot of people on here that have gone thru something similar to you, and know how you feel. It really does help to be able to get things off your chest and communicate with people who understand, such as these people on here. You realise that you aren't alone especially with how you are feeling and what you are going thru. Grieving takes time, and time is what is needed to feel somewhat normal again. The last thing I wanted was to forget my Angels and was so scared I would forget, that I wrote how I was feeling down and addressed it to my angels. I hope you have been communicating with a counsellor, as it helps to having someone there who will just let you talk and not pass judgement, and to let you know that you are normal.
Take care

Sofy - my heart truly goes out to you sweetheart. I cannot imagine the pain and grief you must be feeling. If there's anything i can do or any of us please let me know. Be kind to yourself and take all the time you need to grieve. Sending you all the hugs in the world.

Oh sweetheart I am so so sorry you have had to go through all this its just so cruel. From another Angel mummy who finally conceived after 3 plus yrs of fertility treatment and waters broke in the second trimester I feel part of your pain. Please if you want to chat just let me know.

I am sending alot of strength to you and hubby. Take every hour as it comes and no more. Grieve as long as you want, there is no time limit for this.

Lots of hugs:hug:
Shazz.
xx

Hi Sofy,

thanks for sharing the story of your beautiful little baby.

You sound like a wonderful person.

Sending you and your DH lots of hugs and warm wishes

OMGOSH. I had tears (more crying) reading that. I cant beleive you had to go through that. That is very sad for you and DH. I can only say im sorry but that isnt going to take the pain away. Life is very unfar some time and hard to understand why these things happen.

I do know one thing, and that is your darling little boy is watching you and DH and loving you more in heaven then he would have here. You will meet again one day and just know that he is getting all the love he can handle in the arms of God.

I really hope you and DH decide to have more children and that you can injoy the love, cuddles and all the things that parenthood offer and that you didnt have to chance to have.

Once again Im sorry for your loss and hope your pain eases. It will never go but it will get abit easier as time goes by.

Take care :hug: