How could they do this??

To cut a long story short...I have lost 2 beautiful little babies (19 weeks and 23 weeks), and after much thought decided to have them cremated and the ashes buried in the hospitals Memorial Garden. I am also an employee of this hospital so visit the garden regularly and also on anniversaries etc.

Anyway, at the time when we lost our first baby, we were told that no matter what, despite any future renovations or extensions to the hospital, the Memorial Garden would never be moved or altered in any way....well, we recieved a call last week from the hospital Chaplain who told us the garden will be demolished(for want of a better word) to allow for extensions.

I cannot believe this and I don't know where to go from here. There is no way I am going to stand back and allow this to happen. My husband was told that they will remove the soil and place it elsewhere (ie in another garden). Who do they think they are??? What are they gonna do....get a front end loader, load it up and dump it somewhere else. My babies ashes are in there (and alot of other families babies too).

I know you guys will have some advice as to what I should do next. I am going to make an appt with the CEO this week, but only those of us who have lost precious little ones will understand how important this is.

Thankyou if you have followed this far!!

Oh my goodness! That is so mean! And harsh!
I'm so sorry for your losses, and they've got no right doing that - I've got no advice whatsoever (which I'm so sorry about) except keep doing what you're doing already

You might want to try, if the CEO is unsympathetic, calling your local press and seeing if they want to run a story. It's a pretty horrific thing to do, and unfortunately it's left to those who, like you, have already suffered tragedy, to try to stop it.

Best of luck with it. Keep your chin up.

Bec

That is just insensitive and unrespectable. I can’t believe they’d do that.
Try going to the opposition local member as they will like some dirt on the current members and may help you fight it out.
If you wanted to start some sort of petition I’m sure a lot of people will sign it.
Also try and look for an alternate solution for them, so you can go to them with some sort of resolution rather than just a complaint.
Good luck.

OMG thats terrible, so insensitive, fight as hard as you can love

That is awful. I would also try the press. TV shows like "A current affair" and "Today Tonight" would be good.
I would fight this the whole way, maybe you should try to contact the parents of the other babies and get them on your side too.
Good luck, thinking of you.

I think the press is a very good one. Accurant Affair ask every night if anyone has any story that they would like thier producers to look at they would be happy to take any emails. There are a lot of crappy stories on Accurant Affair that u think "Wow was that really news worthy" but I would tune into see this one. They will probably want to talk to other families that are affected too but after each story is run they say pretty much everytime "after filming this story such and such has decided not to do this anymore". I say go for it.

oh dear lord, this is heartbreaking news. How dare they even think about doing something so horribly disrespectful and to have to work in the same hospital and see it everyday would be just unbearable for you.
Fight hard, and fight strong. Dont let them get away with this, they just CANT get away with it.

please let us know how you go....Id be out there picketing, causing as much noise as i could !!!

hugs
treelo

This is terrible I would get any media support you can. These are your babies and that is thier resting place. A petition may help as well

That is just disgusting and I can understand why you are so upset at the thought of them destroying such a special place. I share your anger.

I agree with the ladies and would be calling the media. Also, usually when there is major development, there is a consultation process, you may find that if you ring the local Council there would be some way to formally object. If you get a petition started, I know plenty of people who would sign it.

Take care
Lv Spring

that is awful. i don't know how they can do that

Hayley, I am so sorry for your losses. That is awful that they are thinking of doing this. I think talking to the CEO is a good idea and perhaps getting the other parents involved as well. It is just so heartbreaking to think they would do this to all the angels who are rested there.

OMG! How heartbreaking! I hope that you are able to stop this from happening. Its terrible. I would try & get as many parents who have also made this garden the resting place for their little ones get on board with stopping this. Go to the media, your local council, everything, what ever it takes!

Best of luck to you!

If you want to create a petition, I'm sure there are many of us whom would sign it in a moment for you! This is disgusting that they're wanting to do this...what utter lack of respect and kindness the powers-that-be are showing all of the families who have lost their precious angels! :(

Oh honey that is so awful i am so sorry to hear that i think you should fight so hard i cant believe these people can be so insensitive to all of those families whos little angels are resting in peace together. i feel for you so much i really dont have any advice but what everyone is saying sounds good to me get it in the pappers and start spreading the word to people and hopefully it will get a around and im sure people will agree how out of order this is i really hope that they keep it where it is i have evrything crossed for you keep us updated.

love munxhy xxx

The thing that I don't get is that I am sure they wouldn't reloacate a grave yard so why is a memorial garden any different? I am really left saddened & scratching my head over this.

i am so sorry about your losses, and am shocked at their insensitivity. i agree with the above posts that you should try the press, meet with the ceo, sign petitions, and get other parents on board. i am not a licensed attorney in Australia, but am here in colorado. we have local laws about relocating cemeteries and a few federal ones too (although they mostly address native american populations and historic remains). you may want to check into the possibility of a local, state or federal law that applies. at the very least, the legal angle may slow them down if there are hoops they must jump through. the city/county health department might have something to say about this issue as well. also, they must need a permit to do the construction, and perhaps you can talk to the city (or whomever is granting the permits) and work with them to get the permit denied. or shame the city council/mayor/head cheeses into getting the permit denied. good luck, and stick by your guns!

Thank you all so much for your replies and ideas....I have appt with the CEO on Friday morning, so will let you all know how it goes.
I am prepared to go to the media with this and I am sure they would love a story like this, but I do know that I am up against a huge organisation, so I am not getting my hopes up. The hospital Chaplain came and saw me and she said she will back us all the way...so that is good.

Wow, can't believe this!

Hope your appointment went well.

I hope it went well today. Can't wait to hear how it went.

I am very interested to hear what the CEO has to say. You have oceans of suppport from us.

Heres hoping things went well today!

Thank you all for your support....unfortunately the appt didn't go too well and I feel like I am fighting a losing battle. The Chaplain who said she would back us 100% has changed her tune and is now telling me that there is no point fighting it cause it is going to happen!! The CEO was very 'to the point' and very 'matter of fact', and even said if I go to the media he wouldn't mind cause he had his side of the story sorted!!

Unfortunately going to the local member won't do much either, cause the expansion of this private hosp will take pressure off the state health system!!

So, my options now as pointed out by CEO are
1. Have the soil from garden moved now (to a new place on hosp grounds)
2. Leave it until expansion starts (maybe 3 years) and then have it moved (but I will have less control then)
3. Leave it where it is and build over top:angry:

I am so upset, but I am probably going for option 1. At least then I will have some control. I also handed in my resignation while I was there too....there is no way I could work for them again after the lack of respect they have shown my little ones.

Thankyou all again

I'm so sorry it has turn out this way for you.
I would still go to the media I think the CEO is bluffing.

i agree that the media would still be a good option. the ceo may have his side, but the media will take yours. good luck.

OMG - that is terrible news. I am really sorry i dont have any advice for you just wanted you to know that my thoughts are with you and i wish you and your family all the best.

Hayley, I am terribly sorry to read this news but I am not surprised. I still think it is worth going to the media.
I don't want to be too personal...but are the ashes buried in an urn? Or just in the soil? I'm not a solicitor, but I think that if the ashes are kept separate and buried in their urns, then your case is much stronger.....if their ashes were mixed with the soil, then I believe it doesn't qualify as a "cemetery" iykwim--so the legal things pertaining to cemeteries wouldn't apply.
I am TOTALLY on your side....it shouldn't matter, because the point is that you placed their remains there on the assurance that it would be a permanent resting place. It's still a "sacred space" for you and for many other people. If you have the soil from the garden moved now, (you said to a new place on hospital grounds?) can they say that they will never build or tamper with THAT area?
HUGS. I'm furious on your behalf.

I agree. I think going to the media is still a good option. It will get much more attention and something is more likely to be done about it. I don't understand him saying he wouldn't mind coz his side of the story is sorted, there's no way he can have a good argument, what they are doing is just appalling.

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...but are the ashes buried in an urn? Or just in the soil? I'm not a solicitor, but I think that if the ashes are kept separate and buried in their urns, then your case is much stronger.....if their ashes were mixed with the soil, then I believe it doesn't qualify as a "cemetery" iykwim--so the legal things pertaining to cemeteries wouldn't apply.

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wow thats really interesting. how strange is it the way the laws work.

Hayley, I just wanted to say that I am appalled by what your now ex-employer is doing. How can they claim to be in the business of caring for people and then act like this? Good on you for sticking to your guns and standing up for what you believe in. I also agree with the other girls, go to the media. This story can never look good for the CEO, regardless of what he may say.

Lisa xx

I am so sorry you are having to go through this Hayley!

I think going to the media might help too!