Shattered

Hi everyone

Just wanted to post here, today has been the first day that i have actually felt like speaking about my m/c.

On Thursday and left work and quickly went to the toilet before a leg wax. When i was in the toilet after i wipped i noticed like a nude color of discharge on the paper. I called my doctor and went to see him immediately, All bad thoughts were going through my head it was like i just knew something was wrong. The doctor said for me to have a U/S Friday and it will all be fine as this was quite common. Anyway i went home and whilst eating dinner i felt the need to go to the toilet. After i wipped i noticed a bright red discharge clot only about half a cm. So straight to the er. Spoke to another doctor who said youll be fine this is all common have a scan tomorrow just to reassure you.... I just knew though. Hubby was positive i spose he had the this wouldnt happen to us mentality. Anyway after a noght full of tears went off for US and were told i can see a fetus - sort of gave me hope then came the dreaded words..... but no heart beat - i felt like my heart just stopped. I had enternal and same news...

Went back to my gp and he was very shocked - So my nominated OB was contacted and he advised that i have D&C that night.

But now thinking of it i need to look at positives and reading posts on BB give me hope. I am hoping that i can fall again as i heard after D&C you are quite fertile. I havent been able to bring myself to go back to work yet - as due to my job i had to be put on light duties as soon as i found out i was pregnant. so i have been given 2 weeks off.

thanks for reading.
Leila

I am so sorry about your loss. It's a horrible thing to have to go through, and we never expect it will happen to us, until it does and then you always think it will happen again.

My second pg took 9 months to achieve, my third took 5 cycles so maybe there is some truth in fertility being a little higher after a m/c. I sure hope so.

Just take each day as it comes, you will have good days and bad ones until the good ones outweigh the bad ones.

So sorry for your loss. Big :hugs: coming your way.

Lv Spring

Leila, I'm so very sorry for your loss. I can't say much now as I am at work, but I do want to say that it *does* get better in time. It is good that you are able to focus on the positives, but don't beat up on yourself if you have a bad day.

:hug: hang in there!

BW

Dear Leila,
I'm so sorry about the death of your little one. I hope that you feel better (physically) soon. The emotional part will improve too, but takes longer. YES, you will be able to fall again. Some women like to have a bit of time before trying again, others want to ttc straightaway. Just follow your own feelings.
You will have lots of support here at BB. HUGS.

Leila so sorry for your loss. Wishing you and DH all the best.

Oh Leila, I'm so sorry :(

Hope you are doing ok, take the time to look after yourself, ok.

Leila,
Your story all sounds to familar. I am so sorry for what you are going through and I hope your ttc journey is a short one and you have a baby in your arms soon.
Take care!

Leila

i am sorry to hear of your loss my thoughts are with you at this sad time i have being TTC now for 10 months with no luck i really hope that you fall quickly when you are ready to start TTC again take care and be kind to yourself.

Munchy xxx

leila,
so sorry to hear of your m/c, has been two weeks today since my d&c, sending you big hugs in this time of sadness.
at first i could not bear to even think about ttc again, but reading and posting here has been the best thing for me and my confidence. dp and i are just carrying on like normal, we will see what happens......
good luck with a bfp very soon!

Leila sweety, I am so sorry for the loss of your precious little babe. Take time to grieve your loss and try to hold on to some hope, thats what got me through all those trying times. I lost 2 bubs and then concieved again within two cycles of my second loss, and here I am waiting to give birth to my beautiful son/daughter. Have faith in yourself and in your body, and know that your little angel lives in your heart always.

Big hugs,
Lisa

Lelia - I'm so so sorry for your loss - I know how hard it is because when I m/c'ed a big clot came out (sorry for TMI) and there was a white bubble - I knew exactly that I'd m/c. It was so hard though, because I still feel like I should still be pg
:grouphug:
Big hugs from everyone here at BB

Leila I'm so sorry to hear your sad news. Be gentle with yourself as you heal :hug:

Leila, I am so sorry for your loss :hug:

Leila, i too am so sorry for your loss. i wish our tears could heal your pain. xxoom

Thank you all for your posts this has really helped me. Its been a week today since m/c but feels like all happened yesterday... Just sad to want something so bad and not be in control of the outcome, this is a strange feeling... Thank you again your support has been overwhelming.

:cry: hi
i read your post with such understanding,as i too have just lost my beautiful baby.
this was my first pregnancy and had pretty much told the world,although i was hard to hide as i popped at just 7 wks and i was so ill i was bed ridden and hadnt left the house,and they say that the more severe the morning sickness the more viable a pregnancy.
i was so excited to hit 12 weeks and on our way to the u/s down syndrome testing.i was so excited to see bub on the screen and then the words im so sorry thi baby measures 2.5 cm making it 9 weeks and 2 days and i was 12 weeks and there is no heart beat.my huby and i were a mess and could believe what had just happened.i had absolutely no sighn of misscarage i was still sick the morning of the u/s.the gp tells me mybody still thinks theres a pregnancy.that night was the worst night of my life felling so pregnant and carrying my dead baby.i couldnt stop crying,the next morning was sent off for a d&c which i had no idea what that was.its been three days and im still trying to except it and find it really hard when i go out in public and see all these babies and just feel so angry and sad,its so unfair.why me?
anyway i send you love and healing.we can only hope that good things come to those who wait.
sally.
salswalling@austarnet.com.au

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Hi everyone

Just wanted to post here, today has been the first day that i have actually felt like speaking about my m/c.

On Thursday and left work and quickly went to the toilet before a leg wax. When i was in the toilet after i wipped i noticed like a nude color of discharge on the paper. I called my doctor and went to see him immediately, All bad thoughts were going through my head it was like i just knew something was wrong. The doctor said for me to have a U/S Friday and it will all be fine as this was quite common. Anyway i went home and whilst eating dinner i felt the need to go to the toilet. After i wipped i noticed a bright red discharge clot only about half a cm. So straight to the er. Spoke to another doctor who said youll be fine this is all common have a scan tomorrow just to reassure you.... I just knew though. Hubby was positive i spose he had the this wouldnt happen to us mentality. Anyway after a noght full of tears went off for US and were told i can see a fetus - sort of gave me hope then came the dreaded words..... but no heart beat - i felt like my heart just stopped. I had enternal and same news...

Went back to my gp and he was very shocked - So my nominated OB was contacted and he advised that i have D&C that night.

But now thinking of it i need to look at positives and reading posts on BB give me hope. I am hoping that i can fall again as i heard after D&C you are quite fertile. I havent been able to bring myself to go back to work yet - as due to my job i had to be put on light duties as soon as i found out i was pregnant. so i have been given 2 weeks off.

thanks for reading.
Leila

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Sally
So sorry for your loss. I too had really strong signs of pregnancy -sick all day and the belly. I too told everybody as we were trying since we were married in November and just so excited when we fell. When this happened to me this was the worst day of my life. My thoughts are with you and your hubby. Please feel free to email me any time you need a chat

Hi Sally,

I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss. :hug:

I too was recently pregnant with my first pregnancy and had a missed miscarriage at 10.5 weeks, of twin baby boys who stopped growing at 9.5 weeks. I'd been on shaky ground since 6w1day when I had a big bleed - it was then I found out I was having twins :) Despite two strong heartbeats being found after the bleed and again one week later, and my obs telling me he felt "very reassurred" all my hoping against hope just wasn't enough. I tried as hard as possible to be strong from my 7 week scan until my next appointment at 10.5 weeks, and was just devastated when my obs didn't say anything to me for what felt like an eternity, only then to say there were no heartbeats. It was without doubt the worst moment of my life. :cry:

That was now 10 weeks ago. It's been hard for me, as it will be for you. I've cried bucket loads, the biggest tears ever, and have felt barely able to function - forever thinking that I just want my babies back. I'm slowly getting better now, though I still don't feel "right". But I'm trying each day to get that little bit better.

I'm thinking of you. :hug:Go easy on yourself, and don't let anyone tell you what to feel. It's important for you to grieve in exactly the way that comes naturally to you. I found my most comfort in my DH. He's the one person who truly understands how I feel. I hope you find that comfort to. Look after each other, hold each other and just be close. Take your time.

All my thoughts,

Soulmate xxxx

Leila, So sorry to hear about your loss :hugs:

I also had my first m/c at 11.5 weeks. It is definately a tough time you go through so give yourself time to greive. There is light at the end of the tunnel. We are all here for your support so come in anytime if you need to vent.

xo

thanks leila
was good to hear back from you.its good to talk to someone that understands what your going through.this week feels like a bad dream.i too find comfort in hubby who i havent left my side.i keep seeing my little baby on the u/s screen and its little fat tummy.i thought it was so beautiful.i hope he or she is in heaven watching over us and knows that we love it more that anything.
thanks again for your reply,

That is hard i have the u/s of our little one and seeing the head and fat little tummy arm and leg buds - just looked so perfect. I started to feel there is no way out of this - i cant see myself getting back to 'normal' but reading other stories offers reassurance that it can be done. I have an obs appointment on Tuesday as a follow up from d&c - dont know what to expect but i am starting to think that i will get the "its just one of those things" speech that seems to be the most common answer to mc. This has definitely brought my hubby and i closer - he is just such a special man and nurtured and cared for me in a way i didnt think possible. You know the saying "it all happens for a reason" i was laying in bed last night and i wondered if this was the reason??? Dont know i dont usually believe in that sort of stuff but at times like these i think you look for any thing to console you. Hope your doing ok today Sally.