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Hi Ladies :)
Is it just me, and tell me if i'm being old fashioned, but why does no-one give up their seat for a clearly pregnant woman on public transport anymore??
Am I expecting too much?! It doesn't really bother me atm to stand up on a bus or train, but just to be offered would be nice!!
I encountered it a lot when I was pregnant. I was lucky that most mornings on the train I could get a seat, but then I would see other pregnant ladies standing. I just learnt to speak very loudly and politely and ask for a seat.
Going home though was harder, people were less likely to give up a seat then. In fact many women would take one look at my belly and push their way in front of me to get a seat first, you could see the glint of competition in their eyes as they did it. Even old ladies would pick up the pace to get infront of me first :lol: I just thought that if they could move faster than me, then I deserved the seat more than them.
I think it would help if the signs on public transport were changed to include pregnant women or to at least say "those in need". My local bus's sign shows disabled, elderly and pregnant, my bus is fairly empty though so I could always get a seat.
There are some fools out there that think pregnant women have concession tickets and therefore should stand (yes I have heard that from some young guys) It would be nice if pregnant women did pay less for having to put up with the stress of trying to get a seat.
That is so rude!!!! You shouldn't have to stand. What if the bus driver stopped suddenly and you fell over (and I don't know about there, but here they are often pretty reckless with their driving). I would definately give up my seat for a pregnant woman or elderly person.
Keira, maybe it's a Sydney thing? I was always offered a seat when on public transport while pg - I took it too! Although it wasn't always males offering, sometimes it was females. I agree with you that it's a shame it's not done more often, when pg you really need that seat and I don't see why it's so hard for someone else (especially a guy LOL!!) to just stand for a bit. Also, to me it's a manners thing - it's just not polite to sit and leave a pg lady standing. Unfortunately I think too many kids have been raised with the "me" mentatlity - why should I stand up? Well why SHOULDN'T you stand up would be my response. Maybe it's because they hear it from their parents too often - why should I drive you to school or something like that?? Not sure, but I wish more people would teach their kids manners. LOL, I think I went OT!
Under the PT Act (in Victoria, anyway) passengers with special needs includes pg women, so I just rock up to the youngest looking person and ask for their seat.
Also, maybe at 27 wks you aren't showing that much so they are afraid that you might just be a bit pudgy and so are scared to offer??
But that said I agree with Astrid that most people are just rude.
Yeah I would ask for the youngest' seat and if they didn't give it up complain A LOT!
*hugs*
Cailin
People should offer a seat, that would be polite, but then again, i know my husband stands on the train every day no matter what, and says that when he offers seats to women/pg/disabled/older or elderly people, some of them get offended?
I had no problems in asking for a seat, and was never refused one. I think we just have to realise in this day and age, people are rude and won't offer, so you're not going to get one without speaking up and asking.. sucks i know, but i would rather sit down than fall over or have my stomach squashed!
This preg i haven't ever taken public transport, so haven't had to worry.
I don't drive so catch PT daily, usually at leasy 2/3 times. When I was pregnant I'd say I was offered a seat about 80% of the time. But the 20% of the times I was ignored really annoyed me... I usually asked for a seat in a neutral/polite manner and was always given it without fuss.
Once, on a tram, it was packed with school kids and even their bags made it hard for people to stand in the aisles. I was heavily pregnant and the only person to offer me a seat was a little old lady. Well I cracked it! I gave the school boys a lecture and they immediately smartened up their act. I made sure the little old lady kept her seat too.
Another thing that bothers me is reading comments in the paper (usually from single young men) who claim that pregnant women are pregnant by choice so then they should stand... I guess this is opposed to old people and disabled people who they figure have no choice. Pfft. This should be tattoed onto their foreheads as a warning to all women to avoid getting pregnant to them! What losers!
Anyhow, I'm fairly passionate about PT etiquette but I have to say that these days you do need to have the ability to speak up and voice your needs (Being polite is also the best strategy). That is just the nature of our competitive society. I know it's not ideal but that's life. Maybe see it as practice in speaking up for the rights of your child, because that's effectively what you are doing when you ask for a seat.
Rory also had a good point about many people being worried that they might offend the woman if they offer her a seat and she turns out to be only pudgy.
It's a shame that old fashioned idea of offering ALL women a seat still doesn't prevail. Call me an anti-feminist but think of all the women suffering menstrual cramping and the early symptoms of pregnancy such as morning sickness that would benefit if men still abided by those old fashioned rules of offering all women of childbearing age a seat.
One time I had an old man offer me a seat, I was carrying my uni books, bag, and on the phone trying to hold on. And I am young, he was an old kind of a man. So I guess there are a few good people out there!!! I reckon all men should give up their seats for women!! lol.
Most people are just plain rude or selfish tho :(
On the way to uni I always offer my seat... though I do know where your DH is coming from Yael. I have offered my seat to eldery gentlemen before and gotten the response "what kind of a man would i be to take a seat from a young lady!" many times! What sweethearts!!! But I always offer anyway!
I have seen my share of rudeness, and think its disgusting that there are eldery people, pregnant woman, and sometimes even the disabled standing when other young, able-bodied uni students are seated, or worse, sitting across two seats!!!
The funniest thing I ever saw was on old lady got on a bus, headed for the first seat she could find, and sat on the student's lap........... the student got out of there quick smart. Maybe you should try that. This was in Victoria where, if you're a school kid, it says on your ticket that you must stand up and offer your seat.
It was a bus full of school kids so she had plenty of laps to choose from.......
ROFL Lesty! :cryinglaugh: Good on her!
Hmm... Maybe different parts of Sydney? The only time i have needed to use public transport since being UTD is whilst i visted Sydney last week... And although I only caught the train twice It happen to be when everyone was coming home from work :( So there wasn't any seats left.. I was honestly happy to stand but everyone kept offering me their seats (I must have looked tired). An older lady was the first and of course i wasn't going to take her seat off her - and so then a few younger blokes offered me their seats, but luckily i was only a stop away anyway so I declined the offer. But I still felt rather humble that they had offered! And in saying that.. I am so stubborn and hate people offering me help because I am pregnant - I always say to people 'it's not a disease you know!'...
Awww Catherine... don't put them off LOL they might not offer the next preggy woman a seat... and she might really need it ;) It's good you had lots of offers though... I still reckon the strike rate is about 80% and this also applies to me when I am wearing my sling :) ie I nearly always get offered a seat because of my extra load.
ETA: I agree pregnancy is not a disease but there are many uncomfortable/life threatening symptoms to deal with. Your whole centre of gravity is altered which also means that you are safer seated. I and many women also suffer from feeling and actually fainting whilst pregnant too... so yes it is not a disease but you are very much more physically fragile than a non pregnant person ;)
Re: pg not being a disease - I agree but isn't there a greater chance of placental aburption if you have a bad fall, esp in later pregnancy? Until I remembered/thought about this I too was reluctant to take a seat but now I insist.....
Oh yeah I had this too when I was pregnant. Its not that I *really* needed the seat, though it would have been nice to sit down rather than stand up and risk falling over and I always got so annoyed when someone pushed past me and pushed my belly!
One particular day when I was about 36-37 weeks pregnant, I got on the bus in the morning, and a lady with a broken leg in a cast also got on the bus... it ws rush hour and the ferries werent running so the bus was more crowded thn usual. Anyway, when we got on, everyone just started at us, then lloked around the bus as if they were waiting for someone else to stand up, until I said "hi there, two people here would really appreciate a seat.." We both managed to get a seat after that.
A few days after that, same thing, and I ended up being offered a seat by another pregnant lady! I told her not to worry, she can sit there.
A couple of weeks before that I got on the ferry, looking very pregnant, and sat down and the woman next to me told me "you cant sit there. My friend is sitting there" She copped an earful from me, to say the least. The stupid friend was outside on the deck of the ferry taking photos of the harbour bridge! She didnt need the seat! I was annoyed. I wanted to kick the other woman in the hed for expecting me to get up! Tht same thing hppened to me twice! Another woman, when I asked if she could move her bag so I could sit, told me "oh, no, I'm minding the seat for my friend" so I shoved my belly in her face and she says "oh sorry, didnt realise you're pregnant". hmmmm does it matter? Who minds seats on public transport?!
I found the only people who offered their seats were elderly people, and sometimes Men. Men offered their seats to me more often than females.
And I can definately remember a few times when the bus driver had to ask people to stand up for me. I didnt *need* the seat and I wsnt whingey, but I just thought it was rude that people just stared and didnt help!
ROFL Bath and Rory.. I didn't so much mean with the seating issue... I'm just sick of everyone treating me as though i am 'fragile' like as if i need help in and out of the car, can't empty my dish washer, carry my washing to the washing line or unloading my trolley at the checkout. I even snapped at my Dad at the airport because i was patiently waiting at the conveyer as i watched my bag come around and was ready to grab it, when my Dad swooped in and tried grabbing it! 'Oi... bugger off! I'm pregnant, not disabled!' Poor Dad was so shocked, I think i'm just a cow because of the hormones... well that's my excuse and i'm sticking to it! And on top of all that... I'm just sick of some women milking it for everything it's worth and basically treating it as though it were a disease! I know pregnancy is hard... My feet swell, i have a double curviture in my lower lumbar (need to have surgery for the rod) and have all the usual ailments of pregnancy... But please! Women have been doing it for centuries and have had it alot worse than our society has it today. Just thought I'd add that I DO think members of our society SHOULD be offering the elderly, pregnant and women with small children seats. Just because I'm stubborn and full of myself doesn't mean other pregnant women don't need these seats. :)
It will probably be a few weeks yet before anyone on public transport realises that I am pg... so I can't say what experiences I will have this time....
However when pg with Aidyn, I lived in a suburb with a major university, so most of the people on the buses were uni students... and by the time the bus reached my stop it was usually at standing capacity. I remember being offered a seat a few times, but for the majority of times I would stand there fuming... A few times I was game enough to ask for one, but usually was too self conscious to.
Now that I am a uni student this time around, I will be on those crowded buses with my big belly, and hopefully this time I won't be so timid about asking for a seat.
It really riles me up though when people don't stand up for the elderly, or pg women... or even worse is when they don't move to help a woman with a baby struggling with a pram to get on the bus, and offer her a seat so she can hold her baby, or hold the pram properly...
I just ask them to move. but then i am used to asking perfectly ablebodied people to move from the disabled area, so that i can park the pram there, anyway. i have always found the younger generation to be pretty good anyway, it is mostly those women in their 40's and 50's who don't offer and get annoyed when i ask (so far i haven't had a problem with the male population - most of them not only giving up their seats freely, but also helping load and unload everything off the bus too). i would never ask someone to move who clearly needed that seat and have asked others next to me to move if i see someone who does need it. I think most canberra people are pretty good about it though (unless its peak hour, and i try not to use the bus then anyway).