HOW did BABY get into Mummy's Tummy...

Can anybody help me please....since we told our eldest dd that mummy is going to have another little brother or sister for her soon, she keeps asking me awkward questions that I can't possibly find answers to..

It's always me she asks, never asks her Dad, and never even asks when he's within ear shot. (its as if she knows 'deep down' that Daddy has 'something' to do with the matter!!)LOL.........but when we are alone, she asks me 'How did baby get inside your tummy' and all sorts of other similar stuff.

Don't know what to tell her, she will be 7 in November.

I have asked mw about this thinking that she might have an answer, but she just said 'Tell her that Daddy put baby seed inside Mummy's tummy' but I know for a fact that if I told her that, then she would want to know 'How' Daddy put baby seeds inside Mummy's tummy..........how would I get out of that one then!

So have decided definitely not to tell her that.

Does anybody here have any tips for me? It's not that I am too embarassed or anything, I will talk freely to her about such things when the time is right, but at less than 7 years old, feel that now is not the right time.
What do you suggest I do, as its just soo awkward and cruel to ignore her. Thanks

OOPS!! I hope nobody has 'sore eyes' after reading my post............I've just realised that the pink colour used is a bit on the faint side....sorry, hope you manage to read it. xx

Yes Jay, I have sore eyes now. LOL, it sure is a strain at not even 7am.

Not sure how you are going to answer that one. I have always found being honest is the right way. Give her enough to fullfill her curiosity but not so much that it overwhelms her.

Tell her the baby was made the same way as she was, through lots of love from you and daddy. I am lucky I haen't been asked that one yet from my 5 year old, although he does already know how babies come out. He has watched the birth dvd of his little sister many times. When my eldest was curious I told him to call nana, LOL, I was so unprepared for it. She did the whole seed story too. He must have learnt on his own coz he never did come back and ask me the truth. :)

There are heaps of books out there for the exact question, perhaps you could find an age appropriate one and read it with your daughter.

Goodluck :D

Hi :) My son who was 8 last month has had a similar question.. We told him how babies grown ect and how sort of how they get in there.. We said daddy put the baby in there in a special way and then of course he asked.. but then we said right now we don't think you need to know all the details.. it is just somehting that only grown ups do so in another year or so we will tell you all.. and it seems to keep him happy :)

Thanks for your replies Trish and Aussienic......its just so difficult to find answers isn't it. Had a good laugh at the ask your nana bit though!!! LOL:redface:

Trish, where about are you? Here in the United Kingdom its now 10:30pm, so its about 7 am where you are right now? Quite a time difference then.
What day is it there ? Its Sunday evening here!
Just curious really. Anyway, off to bed now, hope you have a good day.............suppose you'll be busy going about your daily chores while we are snuggled up in bed in this country then....he he, yes, yes, yes, I'd much rather be in bed than doing housework etc.....anyway, gotta go now, so we can all get some sleep, cobwebs and wll!!! xx

Jay Jay, I am in Australia in Sydney. Most of the girls with a few exceptions now are from Australia. I think though we are getting more and more overseas members which is great.

Enjoy your sleep hun, we will sleep later when you are doing your work ;)

Aussienic............I like the idea of telling youngsters that 'they will be told at some point but not now as they don't need to know as yet'......I will be ready with that one when dd asks next time....
Kids are more 'inquisitive' nowadays than we were it seems, I remember asking my Mother where babies came from, and was told that people collected stamps from shops and when they had enough they handed them in, and collected their baby boy or girl to take home!! ;) yeah well, I guess we were all innocent once eh!!!

Jay jay,

My DD was almost 7 when we were pregnant with her sibling, she is VERY mature & so we bought the "Where Did I Come From?" book, we read it together, there was no sniggling, giggling or anything she listened & learned. I then lost the baby & so we explained to her what had happened, I then was pregnant again & she knew how the baby got there!

Infact she went in to school & asked her teacher (Grade1) how many kids she had, then she proceeded to tell the teacher that she had had sex 3 times as she had 3 kids!!!
The teacher & I discussed that Maddison didnt find it humourous, or rude it was just her way of observing/understanding about babies!

I think when maddy told my Dad that he had had sex 3 times (as I am 1 of 3) that he almost died of embarassment, but not her!

So I'd say tell her the truth, it'll be easier to excpalin it now than in 2 or 3 or 5 yrs time when she is all embarassed by it, atleast now Maddy @ almost 9 knows & it isnt akward!???

Tracey.
How did you say it exactly please..........when you explained that babies are made through mummy and daddy having sex, were you then asked what 'sex' is?
And if so, how did you explain that?
THANKS FOR YOUR HELP X

(maybe grab a copy first or flick through it & then work out what she will understand from the pictures etc..)

But we read through the book & when it showed the naked male & female bodies we discussed whatever she wanted to know, as in that's the ladies vagina, only ladies have them & the Penis is what men have & only men have them, everything else we both have like bum, boobs etc...

Then it says something about Daddy's penis in Mummy's vagina & you wriggle it & it's a lot of fun..
So I explained that the Penis fits like a key into a keyhole & you jiggle it a bit & then the penis releases sperm that goes into the vagina & travels along a journey til it finds an egg in the lady & if the sperm & egg meet up they join to start creating a baby!

She listened amazed, we also watched that movie that was on pay Tv at the time where you see sperm released & meetung the egg & slowly the growth of a baby..

I can recall weeks after wtaching the program & also having read the book on numerous occasions & openly discussing anything she asked from it..
That one day she said to me "Mum it is really amazing that from two blobs of goo, it grows into a human being, a little person, with a heart, brain, sense, eyes etc... It's pretty weird hey!?"

Then that was it!

However.... Do have a look at the book first & see if it would be too much for your DD, as my nephew whom is 18mths older than Maddy, read the book & almost fainted from fear of sticking his penis into a woman & he was totally hysterical & disgusted!?

I guess you will know if the books info etc is Ok for your DD, I have overheard Maddy explain sex & how it all happens (only for baby making purposes, she doesnt think we do it for fun as well!) to her school mates!!!

I hope that's helped, I just let her ask questions along the wya during the book, so followed her lead of how much she wanted, needed to know!!

Another book that's good for the younger ones is Babette Coles' "Mama laid an egg" - which has the parents telling the kids all these funny ways they might have been made, and then the kids set the parents right - there isn't as much graphic detail as the "Where do I come from" so it's a good starting point if you want some detail without too much detail, KWIM...?

BTW I'm all for educating kids early, but a friend of mine did tell rather a lot of detail to her very precocious 5 year old, who realised very quickly that she had info that had playground currency and spent rather a lot of time whispering and giggling about it - so just bear in mind that at different ages they need less/more detail - be guided by your own child's depth of questioning, I think.

Tracey I was going to suggest that book too. "Where did I come from'. Would you believe that was the book we had when we were kids.(over 30 years ago!) It was explained and we were told we could read it at any time but it was a special book just for us so we weren't allowed to show it to any friends etc (we had a huge book case in our room). I guess my mum thought that some kids just weren't ready for it and the info should come from their parents.

We have gone down the road of there was an egg in my tummy and it grew into a baby and that has satisfied her for now. I've done a bit of reading on the damage of age inappropriate stuff so I'm fairly careful with what we do and don't say with regards to age. Dr Phil has some great stuff out there as well with regards to this topic.

Are your school doing sex ed? Our school is doing sex ed that is run by child psychologist group and its fantastic. They do it in age groups (starting with prep) and then if there is one or more children that extends that group due to inquisitiveness or maturity the parents are given a list of reading material and guided on how to discuss more of the topic with their children.

I'm definitely not a prude but I do think that its important not to confuse or scare them, or provide them with information that is too mature iykwim?

*hugs*
Cailin

Just that it can really scare them (and impact on their future sex life), or the opposite where children start imitating in play (sex) where they think thats what mum's and dad's do but don't realise its not something kids do.

However I think its perfectly fine to say that mummy feeds from her breasts. Paris was 4 yrs when I had Seth and we had explained to her about birth and breastfeeding. She knew that Seth was going to come out of my vagina and that Paris was born out of my tummy (c/s) and she knows all about breastfeeding.

*hugs*
Cailin

Indah's not 2 yet but she feeds her dolls & teddies from her boobs...
She will see me sitting down getting ready to feed Zyon & she will grab a toy & say time for boobies...

I agree, if you think your child wont understand or accept the way I explained it to Maddy, then do not give them that much info.
However, Maddy is very mature & understood it all & took it all in her stride & I answered the questions she specifically asked, I didnt go out of my way to offer her more infop than she wanted/asked...

My sister knows her son isnt interested in the where & how's of it & so doesnt discuss it with him..
Her DD is in prep & also goes "eeeeew" if the topic is raised, each child is individual & will either ask & want to know or simply not be interested...

Let your DD's questions lead you in what she wants answered...

I just dont think telling them a lie about it now & then in years time having to alter the story is the way to go...?

I agree Tracey: this topic is best dealt with by allowing your child to lead the discussion. I generally answer only what is asked. I also "simplify" my answer if I don't think they are ready for the whole truth. I don't lie outright but maybe by omission in a way that can be further clarified as they get older rather than completely changing the story.

I also agree that choosing an appropriate book and basing your conversation on that can be good.

Even though you might be embarrassed about it I also think it's really important we teach our children that human reproduction is not something to be embarrassed about. Approach it like a science conversation: matter of fact. But also remind them it is a sensitive issue that we don't go around openly discussing with our friends.

I totally agree Tracey, definitely don't lie. Thats why we went with the egg story because it is true its just we left out some finer details ;)

*mwa*
Cailin

Oh yeah I didnt give or offer any intricacies!!! LOL..

I just followed her cues & conversation, I answered whatever she asked with a fluffied over response!

But I can recall my cousins that went to Private gir;s school & my aunt never explained anything & the Head MIstress called my aunt when her eldest daughter was 12 & started bleeding after a PE class.
She thought she had done something wrong, bad etc & was being killed/dying for it!
She was hysterical & had no idea about periods etc as this type of conversation was knocked on it's head, so it was a humongous shock to my cousin, she was teased by others at her school by it for years after & I just cant help but wonder why noone explained to her that it would happen!?


Actually watching 60mins last night (the circ story!) Maddy asked if we would get Zyon done & we said No, she asked why it was done & I told her for various reasons that the parents have. She asked if girls ever had it done & I said, not like that but in some Countries girls do have something removed for their own beliefs! She said Thank goodness I dont live there, then!

Thanks for your help.....it seems that giving her a little bit of info about the egg in mummy's tummy blah blah blah is the way we shall go about it.........that way at least I won't have lied to her and she will hopefully be able to trust and confide in me when she's older...and also the same with her siblings of course.
Also by not saying anything that she doesn' t need to know, ie the penis in vagina bit won't have given her too much info either.
I know parents have their own ways with raising kids, and while some don't mind their kids knowing things like this early on, others keep tight lipped about it!
TBH dh and I were petrified that given adequate info of what goes where, she might act it out at school with the other kids.omg what would the teachers think of us then.
I personally don't believe it does any harm to hold on to sex details for a good few years more, as my own mother did with me.
Believing that I was bought from a shop satisieid my curiosity until late primary school, and it doesn't look like its done me no harm.....I have been in a long term relationship with dh for over 14 years now, married for over 11 years and have been pregnant 8 times...........so the little white lie that I was told has done me no harm imo.
I remember a boy who lived near us, and he had older brothers who had told him all about sex and he'd seen it on tv etc, we were only about 7 years old at the time, and he actually took girls into his tent in the garden stripped his and their lower garments off, and lay on top of them.....thank god he was too young to perform sexually, but that surely proves that too much into at too young an age is pretty risky.
But of course, that is just our opinion, this is something that can be discussed forever with no right and wrong way at the end of the day.

my older boys started asking about this about about 3-4 years old. we just told them, first about the sperm and the ova and then i think josh worked it out at about 5 when he asked how does the sperm meet the egg (obviously he knew about the shape of the vagina and penis) and then said oh wait i know dad puts the penis into your vagina. i really didn't have to say much. we have been very open about sex and everything for that matter and found it really great in our kids development. we answer the questions they ask cos i figure if they are asking then they are ready for the answer. good luck in your decisions. edited to add that if a 7 year old is doing that sort of thing, statistically he is more likely to have been sexually abused rather than given too much information.
beckles

jayjay - my 5 year old asked me how the baby got in my tummy. I told her that Mummy and Daddy decided that we love each other and them so much that we wanted another baby. Told her that we had a 'special cuddle'. I also explained to her that i have some eggs in my body, and daddy has something special that helps the egg to grow into a baby. She was happy with the explanation, and didn't ask anymore questions (thank goodness!!!)