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My DS will only sleep for 45 mins at a time during the day and I am concered that this may affect his night time sleep. He used to sleep for 1.5 - 2 hours in the morning, then again in the afternoon with a short nap in the late afternoon (20 - 45 mins). Now, he is only going for 45 mins, 3 - 4 times a day. How can I get him to go back to the 1.5 - 2 hours??
Ahhh... I know this feeling.
At first my son wouldn't day nap at all. He would be feral in the evenings (overtired).
I went to day stay at sleep school, and they taught me to settle him... so I went home all happy.
He would have around 3-4 naps but always wake up after 40-45 minutes. So I would get him up.
He was still a bit feral in the evening. So... after a couple more months I went back to sleep school for a week long stay.
And there was the answer! - Babies sleep in 40-45 minute cycles - and wake up. But they will go back to sleep. The idea is to not take them out of their cot. And do go in as soon as they wake up. Leave it 5 minutes... they may just go back to sleep by themselves. At first you just go in and pat them and do the Shh Shh... and they go back to sleep. (replace a dummy if they have one thats fallen out). After doing that a few times, the baby just learns to go back to sleep themselves.
At 5 months my son was sleeping on his side. Firstly because he would settle better... and secondly because he had quite a flat head at the back. Doctors, MCHNs and the sleep school all suggested he be on his side at that point. He had really strong neck muscles too, which really helped.
I agree with Jodie, as a first time Mum I would hear him wake & just go & get him...then I realised since I got him up when he woke after a sleep cylce he was used to that. So I put some music on & when he stirs if he doesn't cry I leave him to chat, often he chats himself back to sleep & if he does cry I go & re-wrap & pop the dummy in & often he'll nod back off to sleep. If not then he gets up & we try again later. Some bubs will just nap, but it's nice to get a longer break than to be up & down with naps.
Great! Thanks guys, I usually do just go in and get him up, then he goes back down after about 30 mins for another 45 min nap. I will try tomorrow to leave him to chat to himself and hopefully fall asleep, but if he doesn't, I will try to pat him back to sleep and see if that works.
Jo, have you tried a music CD in his room? Something like Peacebaby or Sounds for Silence? On repeat? This works like a charm for us.......it takes them through the 40 minutes as the beat is consistent.........
I'm the same as Mads (except I didnt' do any controlled comforting - just went with his sleeping patterns as they were) but DS rarely slept more than 40mins during the day.. and has only in the last couple of months actually started having really good day sleeps. His night sleeping has improved greatly the last few months too. So I do believe babies 'get it' somewhere down the track, so I wouldnt' stress too much about 'training' him.
You also get to know whether they're ready to wake up too. I find now, if DS wakes after about 45 mins, but doesn't get himself up and is still lying down when I go in there, I know he's not ready to get up yet, so I quickly lie down with him, and he goes straight back to sleep hehe. If he's properly awake he just gets himself up and comes and finds me.
All the best! Actually 45 mins were LONG sleeps for us.. it used to be about 20 mins for a while there! You'll find it can change all the time. Try to go with the flow if you can :)
Lucy, does using the music then create a dependency on it? Will this also work during the night?
hehe - sorry mads! didn't mean to imply you did.. just seems we had the same patterns, but I didn't do anything about it :)
Not as far as I have found. Although it is an easy thing to maintain, so even if they do get a little "dependant" upon it, I can't really see the harm........:
Lucy, does using the music then create a dependency on it? Will this also work during the night?
Lexie has it on repeat for her day and night sleeps still.
Charlie has it on repeat for day sleep, but just once for night sleep.
Olivia decided she was ready to can it when she moved to a big girl bed.....she now drops off to one of my CD's!
Excellent, I think I'll have to invest in one of these CD's! Thanks :D
I too use music during the day & just never turned it on at night. Charlie never seem to have a problem with it, he always goes down at night no worries. It's what lets him know its nap time, though I mix things up a bit so he doesn't get used to just the one CD....often I just let the radio play. For me its more about having the sound but now that you mention the names of those other CD's I might give them a try as he doesn't often go past 40mins without me having to resettle him & yesterday he wouldn't resettle & he had 4 naps!! Also if you do go away it's easy to pack the CD if there will be a player available....or we have an ipod with some small speakers we took the last time we had to stay in a hote.
I use music too. That's a good idea taking the ipod and speakers when you go away - I never thought of that.
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Do you know who are the artist for these CD's?? would like to find them on itunes.
Lucy - yep, have the music, and have it on repeat, but the CD is quite long and during the day, hedoesn't usually get to the end of it anyway!
Today, after 45 mins, I went back in to resettle him and he went back to sleep and slept for 2 hours in total! I was amazed! He was a lot happier when he woke up too as he had had enough sleep.
Thanks for all the advice girls, I really appreciate it!
So glad to hear about his nap today!
I noticed how much happier my DS was after he got decent day naps. He was like a totally different baby.
And they say that sleep begets sleep... so if they get lots of day sleep - they will sleep better at night.
You will find that after 2-3 days - your DS will just resettle himself if he wakes up. You won't need to go in to him at all.
I tried to play music for my son... but it doesn't do much for him. And I've actually 'burnt out' two CD players because they would be on all the time. I must buy a decent CD player when we move into our new home.
Thanks for the update Jo... and good on you!
My son is the same - won't go past the 30-40min cycle. Wakes up crying. Problem is that he won't resettle in his cot. I pat and ssh and sometimes use the dummy. He just seems to cry more to the point of screaming. When I pick him up he stops but then when I try to get him back to sleep (in my arms) he seems to just cry and cry till he falls asleep. Then I can put him down and he'll often sleep another 30 - 45 mins. He's happier for the extra sleep he has, and as he is crying he's showing all the classic tired signs(ie he's not telling me he doesn't want to sleep)...rubbing his eye, pulling his hair, stops crying to do a big yawn and thenstarts again. It's like he's just frustrated he can't get to sleep and nothing I can do, apart from hold him till he cries it out, seems to work. I have tried music (I have music for dreaming), patting, rocking, walking and rocking, a rocking chair but all that works is holding him till he's cried himself to sleep.
Any advice would be great...sorry to hijack thread!
Ooohhh SRV...
that's a bit tough.
I think if you were to go to sleep school they would recommend that you persist with the patting and sshh'ing as much as you can. They never encourage them to the point where they are screaming. Usually a child cries, but is relatively calm if their mum is there.
I find that if I hold my DS hand... he calms right down. I usually hold his hands with one hand, and pat with the other. And talk to him quietly... saying he is a good boy, he's going to sleep, mummy will be here when he wakes up etc.
But when I first went to sleep school, my DS wasn't used to it - and put up a huge fight. He really resisted the re-settling. I'm not an emotional person - but I shed tears the first time we tried to get him to resettle in the day. But the next day... he just took to it.
If the habit you have now is to pick him up and cuddle him back to sleep... it's hard for him to break that habit. Some mums will say that you should continue with the cuddling... but I understand that that can be as hard on you, as it is for your son. If he is able to re-settle himself, he will get longer sleeps, and will probably be a happier baby. I know my son was a totally different child after getting good day sleeps. He was so much happier.
How old is your DS?
Maybe you could get into a sleep school - just for a day stay?
Sorry I can't be more help. I know what it's like to try everything....
It was only the support and advice from the sleep school that gave me the skills and strength to persist.
DS is 4 months old. I think up until this point I wasn't being consistent with his daytime sleeps. First he was in bassiniette in the lounge. Then in his cot in the nursery. I didn't do the same thing consistently and we have a swing that he would often just fall asleep in so if all else failed that's where he would end up. He's since had an operation (unrelated to this) and his day sleeping has just regressed over time. The weird thing is he's a brilliant night sleeper. Sleeps from10pm till 7am. But inbetween that he just fights sleep. It's pretty exhausting having a bubs awake most of the time from 7am till 10pm getting crankier and crankier as he gets tired but won't sleep.
This week I'm trying consistency with his day sleeps and we're getting somewhere. He goes in awake and has actually got himself to sleep (1st time ever!) He still wakes at the 30-40 min mark and then we go through what I've previously described. I will try what you've suggested. Thanks.
I first took my DS to sleep school when he was 4mo (for a day stay). and again when he was 6mo (for a week stay).
Consistancy will help. Ideally his cot, in a darkened room, and going through the same procedure each time.
The operation would have unsettled him. So does things like teething or illness. It's frustrating when you get a great sleeping pattern - then a tooth raises it's ugly head and throws it all into turmoil!
And as you said... putting them into their cot while they are awake is also something they recommend. If they can go down awake, then fall asleep - this helps them to resettle themselves if they wake up later on.
Good luck with it all.
JoMarie - hooray on the longer sleep! As always - mummy knows best.. you knew he needed that extra sleep :) DS was always a happy content baby, even with the shorter sleeps (people always asked if my baby ever cried!) so I never had the need to try and make him sleep longer through the day. The shorter sleeps annoyed me more than him, so who was I to fight it? hehe.
srv - how old is bub? has he been this unsettled all this time? or could it be a phase? I know we went through certain phases where more comfort was required, and IMO, cuddles are just what a baby needs, and it's not that tiring if you're happy to do it. These phases do pass. We found the most unsettled times were teething, and the beginning of the separation anxiety age! Have you ruled out possible reflux or something if he doesn't like lying down, or seems quite distressed even in your arms? Sorry - 20 questions LOL. But I would look into the reason why he's crying like he is before putting it down to just bad sleep habits.
All the best :) Remember, they're not babies for long in the big scheme of things!
Liz, he's 4 months. He's never been a great sleeper during the day but a fantastic night sleeper. He sleeps through nearly every night. He does have reflux and is on losec and the symptoms that he gets with reflux are under control. His cot is inclined and we keep him upright after feeds before going down in the cot. In fact at night when he is fed, kept upright and put to bed he has no problems at all, compared with during the day when he may have a play first. In fact this morning he lay awake in his cot talking to himself for nearly an hour before going to sleep (his first day sleep today) The crying is always associated with his first wake after going to sleep 30-40 mins after falling asleep.
He has had an operation in the last month although even before that he would rarely sleep more than 1 sleep cycle and wake up crying. He may have started teething but has no trouble sleeping at night...we don't hear a peep out of him from 10pm till 6-8am. It just seems like he can't get into a deep sleep during the day cause if I watch him sleep he jerks and startles a lot as opposed to night when he's zonked out - I have tried wrapping him but it makes no difference.
Sounds like you're on top of it then :) I was just thinking out loud with my questions.. hope they didn't come across wrong! hehe.
You're lucky he's a great night sleeper :) My DS has only recently started sleeping through. He was never a problem at night, in that he was easy to settle back to sleep.. he never thought it was playtime in the middle of the night!
I was usually happy to just go with whatever worked, be it rocking, or using the pram, or wearing a sling. DS was never happy in the cot.. and in fact hasn't slept in a cot since he was about 8 months old LOL.
I hope he settles for you a bit more soon. At least you're getting sleep at night - makes it a lot easier to persevere when your'e not overtired yourself :)
Nicholas slept from 7pm to 6am last night! I wonder if that was due to his longer sleep during the day???? Anyway, today was a bit funny as he only slept for about an hour, so I tried to resettle him, but he wouldn't go back to sleep, so I got him up and kept him up until his next bottle. Then he played for a bit longer, then had his lunch (solids) and I tried to put him back for another sleep. He wouldn't sleep! He was really tired, but twice when I tried, he had a dirty nappy one! He's had 3 today! Anyway, it was getting later, and I had to do the groceries, so I put him in the HAB and he fell asleep while we were shopping. Anyway, when we got home, he had another feed and a play, but took about an hour to get him to sleep! Anyway, he is still asleep now, after an hour and 15 mins, so that is good. I wonder if his different start to the day has put him out of whack?? He usually wakes at 5am and feeds and goes back to sleep until about 7am.
...well, it is now 6.15pm and he is still asleep! He is normally in the shower now, then getting ready for bed! He has been asleep since 4pm!!