Here you go - chat away :)
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Here you go - chat away :)
Yay i'm first to start, where are we all upto?
Ursula, you guys must be getting pretty excited, not long to go now huh?
Leasha, :pray: you go ok on the 50mg of Clomid. Kim did well, she only ever got 2 on 50mg she may have got 3 on 100mg.
Jesseeangela, how are you guys? Has Jessee only just started the treatment, how much longer does she have to go? I had a bit of endo when i was younger and i had to have a laparoscopy and diathermy then 6 months on Danazol tablets? That was about 17 years ago mind you, have the treatments improved?
DrGirl72, Has AF started? Are we onto cycle 3 yet??? Hope you guys are getting there...
As for me and kim we are madly dieting to lose some weight before January when kim will try IUI with injectables (maybe clomid) again and we are one month down two to go at this stage!! Also i am 2.5kgs down and kim is 4 kgs down, so we are doing really well!!
Anyhow take care everyone, hope to chat to you guys soon!!
Oh and a big welcome to Marlo & Dan!
Hello and thankyou for the welcome :D
Congratulations for the weight loss twomums, its not an easy trip :clap:
I'm trying to get a grasp on the treatments some of you are experiencing as i'm not up on it, but I think slowly i'll gain more insight. I thought I might throw a topic up in the air, have any of you have sought legal advise about the legal standing your partner has after the child is born, for example, god forbid, something happens to *the birth mother* and she no longer has the capacity to look after the child? Or even guardianship and surnames etc.
Dan and I have spoken at great length about this topic and have researched a little, by the looks of it, Dan doesnt have much in the way of legal standing, which isnt something we like at all :wall:
Gosh I hope I havnt opened a sad can of worms, but I wanted to hear some of your ideas/thoughts and so on..
ok cheerio :dance:
Yeah, the 50mg treats me better than the 25mg, or maybe I'm just getting used to it... dunno, but at least I'm not too bad this time, just some hot flashes which are completely managable! Did Kim ovulate on 25mg? Did you try 25mg? I'm a bit nervous because I had great sized eggs on 25mg, and am worried that i will have something like 10 eggs there when we go in for the scan. I know, its a bit extreme, bt I'm a bit nervous considering I responded so well to 25mg IYKWIM.
Is that the fertility drugs making me gain weight! WOOHOO! I have an excuse. I felt like I've packed it on since starting in July, at least now I have an excuse, instead of me sitting here and going "how the heck did that happen!".
Oh boy D&M!
I'm not sure you want to hear our saga with that... we've looked this up... and done a lot of deciding... my parents have outwardly said that when we have kids they would contest if Shel got custody if something happened to me. Which really puts us in a horrible spot... I think if you've got supportive family around, if somehing happens to you, your partner would be able to get custody. As long as the 'blood' relatives agree. If not, theres a WHOLE other road you've got to go down...
We've got to get a will made which will state who i do want to have custody, and I'm also going to put in who I don't want (my parents!). My parents do not know we are actually in the process of TTC, they just think we were thinking about it... I don't plan on telling them when I gt pregnant, and if they ever want to see our child/ren they will have to sign an agreement acknowledging Shel as the other parent, and the rightful full-time guardian if anything should ever happen to me. If they don't sign it, they won' be allowed to see our kids. We're also going to get a parenting order. Something else we are doing is keeping a journal and photo record of our time together and TTC, to prove, if it ever needs to be proved, that we intended on doing this together.
I'm changing my surname to Shel's surname... I personally don't like my surname as a constant reminder of my father...
Am currently cd 14 of a likely 35 dayish cycle. Hope to ovulate around day 19-21. Statred doing OPK sticks on the weekend. Am VERY bad at remembering to take my temp before getting out of bed, so that is not really useful for me- any tips would be great. Also get up a t different times as on gym days (about 3) the alarm goes off at 5.30am, other days i get to sleep to 6 or 6.30. When my partner and I got "married" in march she changed her name to my name, we are in the process of updating wills etc which include intentions around children etc. You can apply for some from of legal rights through guardianship ( I think this is fedral law but you would need to check, I am in SA). Hope this makes sense! I am being quick as I am at work and between patiens so should go!
Just found this thread - didn't know it existed........
Thanks for asking abt me TwoMums - def. getting excited over here and also quite keen for things to get under way. Feeling rather like the beached whale and movement is becoming limited as I now own two footballs for feet!!!!! WTG on the weight loss too!
D&M - great question. We've tossed it around alot but nothing formal has really been decided upon. I personally would probably like Mum and DP to share custody cos DS has a great relationship with his grandparents but he needs to be with DP and the other girls plus this new little person. Def. something that we need to devote more time/thought towrds, unfortunately I don't like discussing stuff like that cos I feel like its bad karma - inviting something bad to happen - I know silly huh?
Alisia - good luck with the 50mg clomid, hope you get a successful result from your scan in the next couple of days.
DrGirl - good luck using the OPK's, I found them the most useful sign of O, was useless with my temp as well and found temp taking to agonising in the TWW. I hadn't temped for 4/5 months when I fell pg (finally after 27mths TTCing), just picked the middle of the cycle as possible O day and timed insem for such and then had OPK confirm speculations the night of insem with positive OPK.
OK off to do some much needed uni work, need the distraction to stop thinking abt impending labour - just bring it on!!!!!!
Hi DrGirls... Lucky for me Shel gets up to go to work at 5.30 every weekday, so those days aren't a problem, but I would recommend setting an alarm... say at 5 every morning, so that you can temp at the same time each day... and so you remember that the alarm is for you to take your temp... then you can go back to sleep til 5.30 or whenever...
I set an alarm for weekends, and I've got a digital thermometer, so it saves my temps and now I just take my temp and roll back over.
Yep, a parenting order is (I'm pretty sure) is federal law. There is an article you can read... it is from NSW, but one of the best resources to start at IMO...
Just google... iclc
And click on the result that says "Talking Turkey"
Hey Girls
Well i'm 3.5kgs down now, i'm sitting on 100kg so i need all the encouragement i can get!! I started off at 70kgs when i started all this fertility treatment, i think it was the injectables that did it but clomid has a bad rep for putting on weight too!!
Those OPK tests are pretty accurate at detecting the LH surge and if you are using fresh sperm they are great! Inseminating on the day of the surge and the next day should cover you. Not so much with the frozen donor as timing needs to be a little more accurate than a 2 day window, hence the trigger injection with HCG so you can pretty much be certain that you will ovulate 36-40 hrs later. Frozen sperm doesnt last as long as fresh.
D&M after the baby is born you can apply to the family court for a parenting order, so if anything were to happen to you, your partner would get automatic custody of the child. That is from what i understand. Ironically if you were to separate, your partner has more rights to the child then when you are together. They have rights to shared custody and also are required to pay maintenance amazingly.
Kim never tried 25mg, i guess because of her age... our fertility is probably not as great as someone thats 21 so our doctor just started her on 50mg. She always got one or two on 50mg and always got 2 or 3 on 100mg so i wouldnt be too worried about getting 10 follies!! Good luck with your next scan!
Ursula you will have to keep off those footballs eh? I hope you are feeling well tho and you dont have to wait too much longer!!
LOL, TwoMums... you'd think I'd be nice and fertile huh! I'm not too scared about 10 eggs, just really don't want to have to cancel this cycle.
I have a question about the process you have to go through to get a parenting order... I've heard it's very intrusive and grueling... has anyone been through it?
Thanks Alisia for your tempin ideas. I like the idea of a thermometer that saves the temp as waking at 5am, turning on lights, finding pen, writing etc is a bit overwhelming. Will go hunting for such today. Will keep my trusty OPKs in the meantime but it would be nice to have a back up!
Hello everyone, thanks for all ur replies, it was a good start and its always good to source opinions. As for the toxo from cats, we both need to be tested, we were aware of that, so that test can be added to the long list. I have been considering and sourcing thoughts on returning to work and when etc after the birth. It's going to be necessary for me to do this, but the idea of day care is scary as well, for eg, kids getting sick. child care versus Dan leaving the baby down the paddock in a wheel barrow. :cryinglaugh:(im joking!) what are your thoughts? We are travelling with options and its always great to hear what others choose.
ok, time to go reading again
cheers everyone.
D&M:dance:
Well, I'm into the TWW again - at the very start and already obsessed! Need some distractions as it feels like it will be a long 2 weeks! So any posts gratefully read!
Hello all,
Wanted to just tell everyone I am cheering for you. My partner and I tried for almost 3 years, one of those years non stop! We did have success with our first round of Follistim but lost that one at 8 weeks. Then 4 more cycles with Follistime and no luck. They believe the mild endometriosis was not allowing the egg to get to the tube. So we bypassed that and went for IVF and actually had success. Then 8 weeks into this pregnancy after seeing the heartbeat I developed a subchoroinic Hematoma (massive bleed) and we thought we lost again. I now can proudly say I am 15 weeks pregnant and there does not appear to be any further complicaiton. It is a long road and I had so much support from other women that I wanted to return the support. I hope everyone is able to realize thier baby dream, and I will add IN PEACE:-) I do understand the tough road. Good luck to all.
Hi all... Well I am on the TWW as well... IUI on the 11th, and O on the 12th (well, thats what FF reckons) ... so CD29 and 10 DPO today, and have an appointment on Friday with the FS, and probably a blood test on Monday if I haven't got AF, which I'm 100% certain that I will, because I have the worst PMS ever at the moment, I feel as though AF could come today... :(
DrGirl72... when is your TWW up?
D&M... Day care is scary for me too! While our bub is under 3, I'll only use it if absolutely necessary. Of course, theres not an issue for me going back to work, so its not a huge drama, but I am hoping to go back to uni at 6 or 12 months depending on how it all goes lol! Luckily Shel's mum has a great track record of looking after the kids whenever its needed, so bubs will be having nanna bonding time instead of day care :lol:
Cheryl... Congratulations on getting to 15 weeks! I hope the rest of your pregnancy is just as good! Wow, a whole year non-stop... I couldnt do that!
Hey everyone!
Introducing myself - 'Uncle Amy' - so named by a 15 year-old neice. Due tomorrow, had a really good pregnancy in a really bad situation. Very luckily to concieve naturally (not so lucky choice of male 'one-night-stand', old friend from uni who has refused any responsibility, and just found out he is working with my ex-girlfiend at the moment - someone I would have LOVED to concieve with AND her new girlfriend and neither of them know he's the dad. I really want to poke his eyes out with a fork for being so childish. I'm angry at myself for being so angry in a situation many would think was heaven, and it's really not that bad but I am sooo frustrated coz the baby is due TOMORROW and I want it NOW!!!!!! Ha ha - such impatience reveals so many truths - to impatient to wait for a good relationship to bring up a child in! This is probably silly to post coz I'm a bit bonkers right now, but really glad this forum exists on belly belly, was getting really lonely in my due dates group, and being too unstable have ANY sort of routine (i moved tomums 2 or 3 weeks ago, haven't worked for 5 months, my story is stupidly complicated) haven't managed to get on and say HI - THANKYOU for being here, thankyou Kelly for making this space, and big fat fertility vibes to all trying to concieve. I feel guilty doing it so easy, so there is plenty of overflow here enough for all. Each time I post I will be delivering more. xoxoxoxoxo
Hey everyone,
My name is Claire and my partners is Donna. We have been together now for almost 10years...gee its flown on by. We (Claire) have been TTC for 7 months using AI with unknown donor sperm which has not worked. I have just completed my first IVF cycle with 1 blastie transfered this tuesday just gone and 5 more on ice. So lovely 2WW for me....with OHSS, feeling much better now though.
I noticed everyone was talking about parenting orders, I actually have copies of consent orders, so if anyone wants a copy let me know and i can email it to you.
Claire
Alicia, my TWW should have been up 6 days ago but in fact AF came 11 days ago. Haven't even logged on to BB since then as was feeling miserable, convinced I am infertile or going through early menopause or something! (I tend the the histrionic side of life at times). After breakfast yeatserday morning with my ,ore grounded DP and our lovely donor they have encouraged me to see that two months of actually trying without a BFP doesn't equate with my being infertile! OUr donor did say someone told him he should be having "sperm food" which is actually some sort of diet to ???encourage lots of healthy sperm. Anyway back to counting the days to trying again...how is everyone else going?
LOL DrGirl... I know just what you mean. After this BFN and the news about the cyst, I was convinced my body just isn't meant to be pregnant, that I am infertile, and that I was somehow responsible... Luckily I had my SIL who also had problems TTC their 3rd girl, so was able to give me some lovely advice, and also almost bought me a puppy lol! I don't know about a 'sperm food' diet... I have heard a lot of info about getting the sperm count up, but don't know much about it. You could probably start a thread in the conception board, I think a lot of people there would know what you are talking about.
Good luck for next time.
Curmon, bugger about the OHSS... I worry every time I take Clomid if that will happen... Good luck with this cycle!
And congrats to Uncle Amy on the arrival of her little prince!!!!!
We are kerry & Linda and we are wanting to have a baby yayaya. we have read all you gals chatting away about all kinds of treatments and drugs and cycles. We feel so niave and overwhelmed. we have only just starting looking into the how, and where side of having a baby. Our only issue is we are in WA and among all the fertility websites we have searched, the issue of lesbian couples wanting to concieve is completely sidestepped and we have no idea where to start or who we can go to see. We would like to see a fertility specialist that does not discriminate based on sexuality and one that is going to be able to help us make the steps towards becoming pregnant. Can anybody give us any advice. :pray:
Kerry & Linda,
Hi, I've just joined BB and saw your post tonight about fertility specialists in WA. I don't know if you've started any steps since you posted, but I can recommend Pivet for being very friendly towards us (my file has "Same Sex Couple" highlighted under my name, which means I don't have to explain myself or correct the nurses when I talk to them). I also know of a few women who have gone through Concept who say they were also helpful.
Well, there isn't much I can do now, it's all up to mother nature.
Everything seems to be on track, Still no LH surge which is good. It normally appears on Day 13.
I'm not getting my hopes up too high, just going away for a holiday........(and the rest! LOL!)
I read somewhere this can be really really trying, like when day 28 comes and so does 'Harry!".......has been described as thinking you are pregnant and misscarring when really you may have just missed the target, if that makes sence.
This is still really new to me so I guess its a learning process.
GP wants to see me as soon as I get back......probably so he can order bloods to see if I am?
Anyhow I hope eveyone else TTC has success this time round too.
This is a big shout out to BONANZA!!!!
Good luck for tomorrow, how excited you must be!!!!!!
Hope she finds her way :pinksperm:
Sending you lots of :pink-babydust:
I m not sure what I should do! I'm over due for my period, all my preg tests have been negative to date, my emotions are all over the place....not knowing if I am or Im not is past the 2ww and Dr says Im not pregnant and my period will start again soon!
Well.........I'm still waiting!!!!!! And why do my BB hurt so much and why have I had these cramps since day 16 of my cycle? (after C.D 14) and Why is my older sister having morning sickness when she only gets it when someone in the family is pregnant (and she lives 700km away!)
So do I stop taking my folate and chuck it in!!!!!!!????? Im going nuts on this see-saw, No-maybe-no-maybe-no......AAARRRGGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!or have i just got a big dose of :pms:???????????????
Bonanza, that sucks I know. My AF was a week late after my first IUI, I think that was due to the luteul support hormones that I was on until I had my negative blood test.
If the doctors have done a blood test and say you're not pregnant, I'd say that they're probably correct.
Although as everyone else says, it's not over until AF rears her head.
*fingers crossed for you*
Oh well, Now what? A.F is on her way! Aint got another $1000 to go back down to my donor, not enough scripts yet to go to Sydney IVF on safety net medicare rebate!
Do I go it alone with the new B/F.......if he knew I was bisexual he'd DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!![and deal with the issue if it turns into one that its not his kid I want! because then that makes him STUCK to me eternally!, at least if its a Donor there is NO ATTATCHMENT 'COMMITMENT' sought!] Apologies if that sounds bad!
I must say all this insemination bizo reminded me of why i don't like sex with blokes even though I am still attracked to them!.....groase! Its the three days after that makes me sick when its all coming back out! Sorry T.M.I!!!!!!!!!! But yeah! YUK!
God should have made us self pollinating/asexual then we wouldn't need to go through so much B.S!
G'day everyone,
I originally posted the following message in the introduction section and was refered to post it in this section
First off, I don't want to misrepresent myself, I am a male and thus forth not a Lesbian, I have a Gay Sister and she and her partner are trying to get pregnant via intravenous methods and so far they haven't had much luck with as you can imagine is getting them down.
I'm trying to help them out as much as possible, and was hoping I would be able to hear some 'hints and tips' so to speak to help them get pregnant. I love my sister to death and want her to be happy above almost everything else in my life and so any advice that could be put forward would be greatly appreciated.
David
My sister and her partner are concidering become parents in the future but they both leading very busy lives at the moment has asked me to do some research which i have found easily on the conception side of things but they have some concerns about once the children go to school and the issues they may face there and also they want the child/ren to call them both mum, how would this would would it be confusing when baby calles out mum you are not sure which one baby wants to go too??? Any advise that i could pass on would be invaluable. I hope to try and get my sister on here in the future to get her a network of friends who are in the same situation as herself and her partner who maybe able to calm their fears.
Issy
Hi, I'm new to this site! Hope the discussions keep flowing.
My partner and I are eagerly expecting twins - concieved through known donor insemination. We've just been to our first antenatal class :D
One of the tricky decisions for us has been deciding what my parter will be called. I have two children from a previous (hetro) marriage and am the birth mother to the twins so it will make sense for me to continue to be called 'Mum' - but my partner understandably would like to have a name that recognises her parent status to the babies. We considered both being called Mum, but thought it might get confusing for the babies. The best we can come up with is Mama or Ma. I'd be keen to hear how other people have tackled this situation!
Possilbly a bit late to add to this, but regarding legal parenting rights, in WA we are able to add a same sex parent to the birth certificate which would give legal recognition of that persons parenting role. Hooray! It has been hard with our other children knowing that if something happened to me, the kids could easily be taken off my partner and given to thier somewhat useless father and she would have no rights to access even though she has been parenting them for the last 7 years.
Hi Indigograce,
WELCOME :D
We are both mum, and surprisingly the person who has the LEAST trouble with it is Jazz! If I say, go find mum, she goes and finds Shel. If Shel says, no go to mum, Jazz will come to me. If Jazz calls mum, one of us (usually both LOL!) will go to her. She understands, and in my mind its no different to having two grandmothers KWIM? Kids are smart cookies. It's the rest of us that thinks its confusing!
To start off with we were going to go mum and mumma, but Jazz calls us both mum and mumma, so she's making up her own mind, which we decided is good enough for us.
GREAT news about the birth certificate! We're hoping Qld will add that soon too, and make it retrospective so we can gain some recognition. It is so scary to think that in a time of crisis and grieving, that a family could be split apart thanks to some dumb idiotic archaeic people who think we aren't a family. :(
Hi all, my partner is 31 weeks pregnant with our first conceived through IVF with a known donor.
We just had our first antenatal class last night and I felt kinda uncomfortable, ended up sitting in a group with all the preggie ladies and I'm not really in the same place as them so it was weird. I really wanna know what it's like for nonbio mums supporting ur partner in labour and just in general.
My partner's going to have a baby shower in a couple of weeks and she's all like 'it's your shower too' but I don't really believe that. I mean I believe I am a mother but this is her pregnancy, I'll have a go in a year or two and then it will be my pregnancy. Right now I want her to be centre of attention.
Kiri
me - 30, her - 35
DS due 4/5/10
Well i keep reading such interesting posts across this site and therefore keep wanting to write more and more.
David : I think it's great of you to be looking for ways to support your sis. There are many sites around to search for donor dads. Which path your sister & her partner wish to take will determine which sites are more suited to them. Some sites are predominately for donors that wish to have no involvement, be anonymous, or be known to the child at 18. Other sites are more frequented by gay men wanting to be fathers. Some sites are for co-parenting. etc etc.
circusmama : Hi Kiri, I read your post with much interest. My partner will be the non-bio mum for our first pregnancy. At this stage she's not sure if she wants to carry any babies, but time will tell. I worry about her feeling left out during the pregnancy. I know that once I give birth she will feel connected to Baby & will take her place as Mum easily and confidently. But the next 9 to (insert random no. here) months might be a bit up and down. I want to support her and make her feel an important part of the process...but i have to admit it's also really easy as the (hopefully soon to be) bio-mum to get overly excited and rush ahead & into your own world of pregnancy fantasy. Is there anything your partner could do to make you feel more a part of the pregnancy?
~Leasha~ : I like you thoughts on the 'Mum, Ma, Mama etc' dialogue. Makes sense to wait and see what works for Baby. My partner calls her mum 'Mom'...only sounds slightly different...so we'll probably start with Mom & Mum and see where it ends up.
I'm still at the 'who tha daddy?' phase. A gay male friend of my partner has put his hand up - he's really keen, very nice, would make a good dad. I've never met him, so i'm trying not to get too excited until we meet up for a coffee and a chat. I'm chatting to another gay man who advertised to find les mums to have a baby with. From what i know of him, i like him a lot. But it will take time to get to know him more.
(I'm writing in more detail about my journey on my blog - feel free to read & reply if you like :D)
Anywayz - Much love to everyone.
Caz
Hi I am new to all of this but me and my gf are hoping to concieve in July this year. We have had our fair share of up's anhd down's on the talks of how I would concieve.
I wanted to use a sperm donor we knew and my gf didnt. I wanted the child to have a male influence in their life, but after some compromising and in depth talks. I found that having a male figure in the childs life could be an uncle, a male friend etc.
So i decided I would like to use an unknown sperm donor, and that has ended the talks of that.
We have spoken about the birth certificate, and we are not sure how that will work out but eventually she will legally become the childs second parent. So that is not an issue.
My concerns are all these cycles people are talking about etc... Its all alittle overwhelming and confusing also so could someone be as so kind to explain ICI or whatever it is and all the different methods.
Also is it true that no matter what if I use a sperm donor through a clicnic the child will have the right to access that information when theyre 18years old. There is no loop hole for this not to happen? I think this should be an optional thing as mye and my gf do not want this to happen.:redface:
Hey everyone, so great to read your stories.
Caramel...my female partner and I are about to head down our second go at IVF (she went first and we had our gorgeous 2yo Jay, now it's my turn and I have just started my first cycle).
I don;t know what state you are in, but as far as birth certs go, it has only recently been passed in Qld that you can put anyone's name you like on there, two mums, two dads whatever and that proves you are both parents to the child. WE used anonymous American sperm and yes our kids will have the right and the ability to track the donor down when they are 18. There is no way around that anonymity...
From our perspective we think it is healthy to be open and honest with our children from day one. That way there are no secrets, no potential for anger or family break-ups because someone feels betrayed or lied to and no one is left wondering "where did I really come from". The best we can do is love and support our kids and be honest about their origins and let them know we are there for them whatever they decide about their donor. But we know in our house, unlike some others, our boy does not have a father, he has two mums, simple as that.
Anyway, I have just started blogging about my experience with IVF, check it out as I will be updating it daily (with any luck!) and going thru the process.
We are doing ICSI - where they inject sperm into the egg to fertilise it before making an embryo that they then implant into you.
Gay Fourth And Multiply
Good luck!