What would you do ?

we had a bit of an issue the last day of term where my DS took money to school instead of his lunch ( on DH ok Cause Dh wouldn't know if tuck shop was on or not any given week ) so any way i happen to do relief work at the shop across the road from the school it was lunch time and another mum from our classroom came in and said in a bit of a sarcastic way that she was there to to buy a hot dog and drink to feed my son cause i obvisously didn't care what he ate (wtf) so she told me that story of bringing money instead of food and i said he probably would have a packet of bickies or apple or something in his bag from yesterdays lunch and she brought his hot dog and left so when i got home there was 2 messages from the school so being the last day i thought i would go and pick the kids up early and found my DS very upset in the playground apparently the hot dog that was brought for him ( with his own money ) was put on the teachers table and he was told that because he lied about not having food he would have to wait to get his hotdog then they made him sit there to smell it (their words) after 25 mins which is the time allocated to eat they told him to eat the hot dog stone cold which my DS said made him feel sick in his tummy they laughed at him and made him eat it threatening him with not being allowed to do science experiments later in the day well he became hysterical because the hotdog was unetible (sp) he was crying and that is when they tried calling me (their words - we don't have to put up with that and we won't ) though they caused it in the first place if they had of called my mobile or his dads mobile we would have brought him lunch instead of this dispicable behaviour from grown ups - i'm not saying my Ds was in the right 100 percent but gees his is 9 for gosh sake my DH is so angry and i'm really dreading the start of the next term what would you do please any advice this is just an added stress i really don't need right now
and thanks if you got right though this well done

Shazz - I am a teacher and if that happened the way you explained it it makes me sick to my stomach both as a teacher and a parent. I would def be writing a letter to the principal and forwarding a seperate copy to the department (state ed or cath ed whatever) detailing your side of the story.

I think it is def worth organising a meeting with the principal and teacher involved to at least discss what happened even though that might be uncomfortable.

Kids having lunch issues is a common problem in the schools I have taught in and is never a drama so don't feel guilty we all forget these things occasionally. I hope your DS is feeling better

thanks for the reply i really think it does need to be addressed but i just don't want my Ds to become their target ( my Dh wwent on camp with these 2 teachers for a week he saw only to well how some kids are treated ) i actually went to school with one of the teachers so it will definately be uncomfortable

I'm sorry, but I would honestly change schools, or put in a complaint to the Ed Dept. That is unbelievable. I'm glad my DD is at a small school where they check what the kids have for lunch every day. No matter the age. If my DD walks out without her $2 for lunch, she still gets her nuggets, they just send home an account every 6 months. Any probs & they ring me straight up. If they can't get me they'll ring MIL, just around the corner & she'll sort it out. I think this is bullying & wouldn't put up with it. There are only 12 kids & 1 that is often sent with stuff she doesn't eat, but they still make sure she doesn't go hungry.

I would be putting a complaint in that is awful behaviour from teachers. They should be there to help kids when it's needed not upset them and hurt them.
Can your DS go into another class ?

If you get no luck with complaining at the school say you are going to go higher up and what about ACA they love something like this. Name and shame i say.

Sorry this has upset me for you. It's just plain bloody awful what they did.

That is sick. Adults bullying a nine year old. :angry: I would change schools, I would put in a complaint to the school and put in a complaint to the Ed Dept. If nothing was done I would take it to the media. I don't blame ur DH for being mad. I show ur post to my DH he said, if it was his kid he would take it so far they would regret ever doing it. I definitely wouldn't let it go. These people shouldn't be around children.

I am shocked by this behavior!

I am a teacher in Canada and have taught primary for about 10 years. Never would I have guessed in this day and age that they would treat a 9 year old like this.

Do not send him back to that school until you have met with the principal and received an apology directly to your son from ALL the adults involved. Whoever supervises the administration of this school must be notified all well.

To punish a child for the actions of an adult are ......:angry:

There are no excuses for this behavior.

I have seen kids come to school without lunch many times. At my schools the teachers will donate some of their own lunch for a hungry child if we can't get ahold of their parents.

OH MY GOSH!

name and shame the school! They can't get away with that, I wouldn't be taking him back there

Just an update
we went an met with the principle and he was very good about it though he said he was absolutley disgusted and assured us that we would get to the bottom of it he tried to get a meeting with the 2 teachers involved for the next day my DH and I were keen and would have put off what ever we were doing to be there but one of the teachers ( the one with kids ) couldn't be there so it has been postponed for a week so it is next Tuesday personally i think the principle should have pushed her into meeting sooner to clear this up but it just gives me another week to stew on it i suppose really i don't blame them from trying anything to get out of facing us face to face i'll keep you posted

.....

that is a good idea getting DS to write it down Thanks for that and that you all for your support i was really lost as to what to do but this is something i just can't let go

i have had word from the principle that Quote " your story is very very different to what the 2 teachers have told us " WTF of course it is going to be covering thy ar$es

How different? They bought him a hot dog and said " Here you go sweetie! Tell daddy to check with your mommy about when hot lunch is. Silly Daddy!"

Kids stories can sometimes be quite different. But this has a lot of worrying things. I'd want a meeting with administration and the involved teachers. So I could hear their explanation first hand. Why was he required to eat it in the teachers lounge? Make sure you leave your son at home during this meeting.

Once as a teacher I had a parent come in very angry. She was taking her daughter out of school she was so mad. She was mad because her daughter told her a pack of worksheet (25) needed to be done for homework in 2 days as her daughter was 6 she was mad. As the story unfolded it turned out her daughter wanted attention from her mom (newly remarried). There was no homework assigned. Her daughter had taken the worksheets on her own and invented the homework story.

definately Janey kids versions of the story can differ greatly that is why i have asked other parents to ask their children what happened and also the mother helper in the classroom that day they are had a very very similar version as my DS has i certainly don't wear rose cloured glasses when it comes to my kids but i know they don't make stuff up to make it sound better/ or worse i just wish instead of making a example of my son they had of just rang me i would have been more then happy to go home and make him something or for that matter buy him the ruddy hotdog myself and bring it to him we will see what wednesday brings apparently we are going to have another run at having a meeting with all involved including the principle

Good luck with your meeting - Im a teacher too and this is absolutely disgusting. Like you said a simple phone call would have been enough to straighten the whole thing out. Grown adults should simply know better hun. Let us know how you go.

I hope you get this sorted out for your sons sake. Poor little guy, he must have been so embarrased, not to mention hungry! If this had been me, I would have done the same as you. If we don't stand up for our kids, who will?

Good luck.

The other children and the mom helper tell a story similar to your son? And you have teachers telling a different story? I wouldn't send him to the school and I'd follow up with reports to the higher administration and in Canada there is a governing body that polices teachers' behaviour. I have no patience with lying and the behaviour of the adults in this situation in inexcusable. If they behave this way over a missing lunch then what happens in more serious situations?

((hugs)) for your son. My son is just 8 and I would be so upset if that happened to him.

I hope the school sorts it out for you and that your son gets the apology he deserves.

Hi Shazz, I was just wondering how the meeting went?

gosh i'll be back tomorrow to update long drawn out saga or should i say battle of the wills

I don't have kids but that makes me sick that is so wrong for them to not give it to him straight away. The cow that came and made the sly comment to you she knew exactly where you were so they should have no excuse as to why they didn't call you. I would definatly take it further than the principal i say go to to the board of ed. your poor son is lucky he didn't get seriously ill eating cold food. It would be hard if you know the teachers so if there is a good school near by i would change him. As you said they are going to cover thier a$$ and not tell the truth, as the job would definatly be on the line. your son would not have been so upset if the story he told you wasn't true.
Good luck when they finally get thier act together for a meeting. ( they obviosly think time will defuse the situation)

I just found this thread today, I'm looking forward to hearing about the meeting, I hope there was one!

Me too. I really agree with RolyMogs. If you sense that the teachers at this school regularly treat the students poorly then consider changing schools. It will be less traumatic for your son in the long run. School is such a formative environment for your child's character and what is he learning from all of this? He is learning that adults can't always be trusted and this could lead to not trusting authority in general... very worrying and very damaging. It's not just about the hotdog. (are there healthy food options at the school BTW?)

At my DD's school if there is any problem with lunch then a child can buy whatever they want from the school cafeteria and the bill will be added to our account payable at the end of term. We have only had to do this once in 4 years at my DD's current school and that was because I'd just had my DS1 and was totally disorganised and had forgotten to get the money she had left behind at home that morning to her at school in time for lunch.

What are the school options in your town/city?

Ok, I'm guilty of sending a lunch order one day when the tuck shop wasn't open (it previously was open every day of the week) and the lady in the office went in to the tuck shop and put a frozen sausage roll into the heater for DD...how hard can it be? I can't believe such a big deal was made out of it and to put a 9 year old in the middle of conflict over it is just awful. I hope you get some sort of positive resolution!

I too am shocked and appalled by what has happened to your son.

However unlike others I am going to suggest that you don't change your sons school unless he really wants to. Your son may just feel like he is being punished if you take him away from his friends over this.

The teachers should be leaving not your son

Def put your complint in writing to the school board, these particular teachers may have had complaints in the past that may surface

I hope you go well with your meetings