Male Body Image

We all hear plenty in the media and elsewhere about female body image and how unrealistic expectations can be felt by many women to maintain a 'Hollywood' type body. Some of the media outlets which claim to be trying to break down these issues are the same ones who, for example, recently displayed pictures of a perfectly healthy and physically attractive Britney Spears (despite her litany of other issues), albeit carrying perhaps an extra 10-15kg on what she used to, under various titles describing her as fat, let go, out of shape etc.

Something that interests me is the real perception of women, of an attractive male form. If you are to believe many of the popular magazines, the only attractive male is the type who spends 3 hours a day in the gym and is super buff.

So out of interest, do you ladies actually think that that kind of body is the ultimate in male attractiveness, along the same lines as we males are presumed to find Pamela Anderson and Jenna Jameson so amazingly attractive, or do you find another body type more desireable.

Even your apparently harmless TV shows like H&A and Neighbours always sport 16year old boys who are clearly far more muscularly built that you'd expect of someone that age. These types of thing just serve to reinforce what I would imagine is a bit of a furphy, yet most males would assume this is the be all and end all.

On the other side of the coin, I know plenty of blokes who think that the Pammy Anderson, Jenna Jameson or Jessica Simpson type is the pinnacle. God knows why. For me, I find ladies such as Keira Knightley, Natalie Portman, Jessica Alba, Kate Winslet and many others to be very attractive. And there are equally as attractive people (in my opinion) walking around your local community every day.

What do you think?

Interesting thread.
I really don't think that perfect type of male body you see in the media is attractive. Well, actually, obviously it is attractive. But I much prefer someone real. DH seems to think he should look like that and is always saying 'Oh I should work out...' etc etc. And I tell him I don't want him to, he's not fat at all and sometimes gets a bit skinny if he does too much exercise. But I actually prefer him bigger, a little bit of a squishy tummy to cuddle up to, I don't like the 6 pack. But I do like big shoulders!
Guys on TV and in magazines are ok to look at but don't look real, or comfortable!
And I can't really describe what it is but DH is more attractive when he puts a bit of weight on, maybe it's more manly and less boyish.

Rols, you know who Jenna Jameson is do you? ;) LMAO

It's an interesting question isn't it? I suppose the birth of the metrosexual has a lot to do with it. I personally don't like a man with boobs bigger than mine (either the buffed pectoral type or the beer-boobs), a gut that hangs down over the top of his pants or an OTT muscle-bound adonis. The type of men that I have felt an attraction to over the years have all varied in their physical appearance and body type, so to me it's not just their body kwim?

Male eating disorders are also on the increase too, which I think is essentially from the same causes as female sufferers - the media and peer group pressure. It's quite sad really that men are starting to be afflicted with the same pressures as women to look good and that looking good equates with success in personal and working lives.

Good thread!!
I often wonder at the advertising world when there is a huge picture of a tanned, hairless, muscly bloke who is actually advertising a pair of sunnies or drink... doesnt make sense. And what about the ads which, if it was a woman, would have outrage against it as sexist (Like the old diet coke tv ads) but is somehow now ok if it is a man who is senselessly undressed and treated as meat.
Personally, I dont mind seeing these blokes but somehow they dont seem real. My DH is small build, 5ft4in. completely hairy and in no way muscly. I dont mind at all. I still find him attractive because he is real. What I do find attractive, rather than a super toned, hard body, is when my DH is tidied up. Nice haircut with a little product, fresh shave (this doesnt happen too often) and free of the old flies leggs hanging out his nose(nose hair) and no more hairy old man ears, short nails etc. I guess I think a healthy look is better than a musclebound one: Clear skin, no horrible smokers skin or morning after a big night out red eyes....that kind of thing.
It is concerning that we now have to worry more about young men and thier eating dissorders etc as well as young women. Teenagers have more than enough to worry about without having to excercise for 20hours a day and take heaps of body building products etc. Life is complicated enough as it is and there are far more important things in this world to have them focussing on than superficial stuff. I guess it is up to us as a society to show them the things that are really important....

Having dated and been friends with blokes who work out too much, no, it's not attractive. I like something I can cuddle that's soft! Plus to just stay alive, these chaps have to work out for an hour a day - if they just stopped then their muscle ould collapse and kill them! 2-3 hours just to stay in shape. Spend time with me instead!

Having said that, I do like a slimmer bloke; and excess fat and their breasts are bigger than mine, not too great when we're out together! But I have dated fatter guys too.

I do like big strong arms on a man - my DH likes rockclimbing, fishing and engine-building, which all require upper arm strength, so that's great, but tbh I like him so if he didn't have nice arms we'd still be together.

eta: I hate the hairless look! I like my man hairier than me. DS still has a hairy back and I think that's so cute too. But then, DS is the most attractive young man in the world (imo!) so of course hairy is perfect.

Yeah, this is an interesting one. There's certainly a lot of pressure on guys too. DH used to work out a lot, and his arms were what first attracted me to him. But now that he's stopped and started to get a little bit of body fat on him, I'm finding him more attractive - like SaraJane, I prefer him with a little bit of fat... But he has trouble putting on weight, so when I say a little bit, that's all it ever is.
A guy I used to work with had really bad body image. He was always on diets and complaining about how heavy he was. I thought he had a brilliant body, but I didn't tell him so because he was the sort of guy who'd think I was cracking on to him or something. It was a shame really - he shouldn't have been worried IMO.

I like hairless and cut guys who have to be taller than me, But that said my DH who I love to bits is hairless but has trouble with his weight and will gane and will lose all the time and I still find him " A big hunk of spunk" its only ever him who thinks he is fat and the moment he is on a health kick which I am happy about ( as his dad die at 53 due to been over weight ) But poor DH no matter how hard he trys to cut his body he just cant do it, but like others have said I much prefure to snuggle into something soft not a twiching rock.

Great Thread......
Of course i like to look at the stereotypical "hot" male as this is what we have been bought up to believe as goodlooking but in reality looks dont really bother me. My DH is always complaining that he is too skinny. He does struggle to put weight on and weighs himself more than i weigh myself. He gets rather upset if his weight drops below 68kg. (i'd love his metabolism) I do find this quite amusing though as he does not care about the rest of his appearance. He is not one for following trends with fashion and i doubt he has bought an item of clothing in the last 5 yrs, lol. He does not even like to shave......hence 90% of the time he has a big ugly out of control goatie that i detest but hey i didnt marry a pretty boy and i knew what i was getting myself into :)
In all honesty there are areas that my DH could improve on but i wouldnt change him for the world and it upsets me when ppl tell me i should .......get him to shave, grow his hair (he shave his head), wax his shoulders etc etc. To me he is REAL and thats why i find him so attractive:)

Thanks girls for all your replies, they have been really interesting and refreshing.

Some of you have echoed the thoughts of my DW. I went through a stage a couple of years ago where I became dissatisfied with my 79kg body (I was starting to get a bit tubby) so in typical Rols fashion, I went all out with diet and exercise and ended up at 66kg before too long. DW said I was too skinny, and everyone else was saying the same thing (although for most of them it was no business of theirs). So I've jumped back up to about 70kg and DW is very happy.

I used to run a lot - started out to lose weight, and started competitively with a club - and running certainly strips a lot of fat and bulky muscle from you. These days I try and balance it out a bit more with running and gym work just to keep thin and a bit toned (I'm reasonably slight so I'll never be the hulk that's for sure).

It's so refreshing to see that normal women find normal guys attractive. I imagine a lot of women would be surprised to know that many guys see things the same. Why then, does the media perpetuate this stupid carry on about what constitutes an attractive body? Sometimes I read DW's magazines, and some of them say appalling things about people's bodies, particularly New Weekly.

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It's so refreshing to see that normal women find normal guys attractive.

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I'm sure you meant to type "Drop-dead gorgeous women, such as those on BB, find normal guys attractive." Luckily I will let it go this time LOL.

Yeah, my bad. That's what I meant :)

i like a guy who is into self respect for his body ...
my dh is aware he needs to stay healthy and we go to the gyn together to both keep us in shape ... he is not a buff guy nor is he a skinny guy !!

he is tall slim nige big shoulders and hair in all the right places !! a hair less guy seems weird to me ..

dh has a good physique and i love him for it .. when we 1st got together he was ripped and was alot muscly .. but since then i like his softness....but he still looks great with a shirt off !!

Add me to the list of women who don't like guys that are overly muscular. It really just doesn't do anything for me. I am into the more "natural" look. But you can't go past a good bum!!

I think the images of males in the media are unrealistic, but perhaps not to the same extent as with females, so perhaps this is why the discussions are usually about girls. Also the trend of using younger and younger girls as models is concerning and I am not sure it is happening so much with males.

I like guys who take pride in their appearance. But I hate muscly guys. I like toned bodies but not too much definition. But for me its the overall package if he knows how to dress, how to groom, general hygiene. I'm all for the metro age. But I think a guy that obsesses over it can be just as unattractive as a plastic woman who cares so much about image she wouldn't be seen dead doing the gardening unless she had a full face of make up and high heels on! I think it also depends on the level of shallowness... and I think the majority of people aren't that shallow.

i was also thinking .... there is fast becomming more males issues ..

look at fashion .... everything is devoted to women ... there is barely any adverting out there for men ... imo that would make men feel inferior ... that they are not worthy of looking good .. kwim ..

or does a typicl bloke not care ....

i like fashion .. and i like seeing men dressed up in nice clothes .. a fitted shirt and good jeans .... mmm

NIASS :: sounds like kiddies porn to me ... where were the parents . i would never let my child show nipple for a pic in a mag .. never

Nah I don't care, go where you want with the discussion. That's what makes it interesting.

I don't like the totally buff guy either, but I do like a guy who looks after himself. My DH runs and does weights at home, but is also a little squidgy. I like him like that, and I think he's just perfect as he is, though he thinks he needs to lose weight. As long as he is healthy and happy. He's a naturally big man, at 6foot and 100kg. He lost weight a while ago and got down to 90kg and to me he looked anorexic. I hated it and told him he had to eat. Luckily he loves his food too much and he listened to me!

It seems to me that most guys I know (at least around my age) reckon they could benefit from losing a few kilos. It's rare to find a bloke who says, "yep, I'm totally comofortable with what I look like". Then there's the blokes at my gym who are even less secure, you can just tell by the way they ponce about.

I really do think that the "perfect" male body put out there by the media screws with a lot of fellas self esteem, mine included. Occasionally you see in fashion magazines or general womens magazines ladies with perfectly natural and great looking bodies. But I can't even think of one occasion where I've seen a photo of a bloke who isn't ridiculously buff, or if there is such a photo, then NW and their ilk call the blokes fatties. It's pretty disgusting in my opinion.

I've always placed brains above brawn/braun however you spell it LOL I'm with Niass, vanity in either gender is a turn-off. Healthiness is attractive. Any guy with any sign of obvious bad health (greasy skin/bad teeth etc) would be unattractive to me. This is based on our species survival instincts: we want to breed with people who are going to produce healthy children. Muscle men to me are not necessarily healthy. To me they are likely to be full of steroids and they apparently have very fragile immune systems. I recently learnt that in an artificial milk thread! Body builders often take cow's colostrum to help build up their weak immune systems... you learn something every day in here!

I've always had a soft spot for bookish/nerdish guys too LOL as they are always far more interesting than what Americans call "Jocks". My man sounds a bit like you in appearance rols. However he has never been over weight. He would benefit from a few extra kilos maybe but I think he is currently at the right weight for his size. I have to admit that I've never found chubby guys attractive but once again, if a chubby guy had a beautiful mind then I would grow to find him attractive.

I'm raising my DD to be highly sceptical of everything she sees/reads in the media. She is very good at spotting avertising in non-obvious forms eg product placements in movies so i think that when she starts thinking about boys she will know to look beyond appearances.

Great thread.

Bath, bodybuilders don't just have weak immune systems; most of them have constipation and heammaroids as well. They have a really high protien/low carb diet so they have a hard time doing poopies.

Anyways, I like a fit guy with some muscles but not the kind of OTT buff that seems to be promoted as an ideal these days. Most of the guys who are really cut are like that because they take steroids - ewwww. If you look at athletes who are at the peak of fitness but not taking 'roids they're not so OTT muscular.
I like that DH is quite fit and works out because I believe that a healthy body and a healthy mind are connected. If we don't get enough excercise it impacts on our mental well being and I don't want to live with a grumpy sour-puss.

How true Chloe that healthy minds and bodies are linked! My DH doesn't workout or do any sport but I think as the boys get older he will be motivated to do more with them. ATM he volunteers at my DDs Little Athletics as a track official so he at least will be a good role model in terms of fitness with our children. He has a certain degree of natural fitness, with his high metabolism, but i think as he grows older he shouldn't take that for granted meaning that he could find that he puts on weight more easily. But for a guy over 40 he is definitely a lot trimmer than most guys his age.

Dachlostar I'm never going to able to look at buff guys again without that image in my head lol

I love it when my DH is freshly shaven (his face), I like men to look fit and health and to take pride in themselves. I would take a man who loved me and looked after me over some buffed self absorbed hulk. I'm attracted to nice eyes and a warm smile.

That reminds me of a survey I read recently involving people being shown photos of highly attractive people vs normal looking people. They were asked to separate the images into "flings" and "marriages". All the Bimbos and Buffs were almost unanimously put into the "fling" category. Who would want to be earmarked as a "fling?" ...not me!

Rols, my DH is perfectly content with his body and doesn't want to change it. That's really attractive! He does want to change mine, not as attractive! But then even my parents don't find me attractive... I sometimes think I'm the only person who doesn't think I look awful and even I admit I could do with losing the loose skin on my tummy.

Niass, I agree, everyone assumes that because I'm big and plain I am "grounded" and can "cope" with stuff, whereas my petite SiL and MiL and my pretty sister get so much more looking after - DH was more worried about how SiL was with her pregnancy than he was with me! And he still looks after his mummy... although he isn't going to see her for another 6 weeks because his daddy upset him. Even so, it's annoying that my looks mean no-one ever puts me first, not even my husband or my parents.