There is no santa

I have a friend who's 11 year old son still believes in Santa. He has been getting teased at school and she has decided tonight is the night to tell him. How would you break the news? :doh:

Ohhh how sad, I wouldn't tell him!! I think it's sweet that he is still niave enough to believe. The innocence of childhood is so fleeting, why spoil it when you don't have to? And in the lead up to christmas too, I would let him have his fun for chrissy before telling him...But that's just my own opinion. I would prefer to deal with the teasing at school with him than tell him santa isn't real.
Good luck to your friends, I hope he takes it well. :)

awww how sweet,. I so don't want to have this conversation with my kids. I think my eldest is starting to cotton on though. he has asked us if Santa is real and we have said. You believe what you want to believe. And he smiles and says then I believe Santa is real

I would not tell hime either i think that it is a sad thing to tell a child:(
They will find out soon enough.

Nikki

I wouldn't tell!!
I would let them find out for themselves.
I wouldn't want to ruin it, especially when it's almost christmas!!

I wouldn't be telling either. I was about that age when I found out Santa wasn't real. Mum tried to talk me back into believing but it just wasn't happening.

I would let the child get through 1 more christmas if he still believes. When a kid stops believing the magic is gone.

Love

Totally agree with waiting. It is different if they ask whether Santa is real. Perhaps he is kind of aware that Santa may not be real but wants to hold on a bit longer. Hard to do when you are told point blank by the people who told you about Santa in the first place!

I think I would look into the history of santa claus ,you can google santa claus , and is santa real ?, you could give him facts that he can understand. If he could see that there have been many different forms of "santa" and that different countries celibrate christmas differently,and that adults like to carry on the tradition of gift giving and make christmas an exciting time full of surprises and that now that he is a big boy that he can give gifts and be a santa too. HTH :)

We recently told 9yo DD that Santa wasn't real because her cousin was teasing her about it and she was really starting to doubt her belief. It was then that we decided it was time.

We told her the facts like rosehannah suggested and she's still extremely excited about the whole thing.

We're not religious at all, so we told her how Christmas was about being with your family and giving to others. We give to various charities on a regular basis, so she's looking forward to giving just that little bit more to the disadvantaged.

Christmas doesn't have to lose it's "shine" just because Santa no longer sneaks into her house in the middle of the night (scary thought actually, some big fat scary man breaking into your house...!) to deliver presents, but that her parents who love her sneak around the house preparing all of the pressies so that they're all there when she wakes up. How exciting!!

I was in shock when I was discussing Xmas and Santa with my now 11 year old niece two years ago. She looked at me blankly and said, "I know Santa's not real....but X (her sister) STILL thinks he's real and she's 5!" I then started to try and convince her otherwise and she kept telling me I was silly. It was a pretty funny conversation in the end.

I think if James was being teased about believing in Santa, there is no sense in beating about the bush and would explain to him straight away that he's not real. I guess some children would be pretty upset about it, but then for others it wouldn't rate at all.

Yeah I have to say if it was affecting him socially I wouldn't be pushing the issue either. Trust is the foundation for parental bond with their child (next to love obviously) and when heading in to teen years you wouldn't want any added resentment due to this situation.

My sister just emailed me to say that her daughter is too scared to bring up Santa around her big sister because she gets teased about still believing in him.

Thats so sad! I'd be having a chat to the older sister for sure.

I agree with Rosehannah, he is old enough to start to understand about Saint Nicholas and the history behind the true Santa Claus. I have a 12yo and she believes that there is a spirit called Saint Nic who guides parents as to how to celebrate Christmas.

I personally was never really happy about my children adopting the modern image of Santa Claus. The Jolly fat guy in the red suit was basically invented by the Coco Cola company:

In 1931, the Coca-Cola Company commissioned Chicago illustrator Haddon Sundblom to develop the image of a human-like Santa Claus, based on the positive public response to a magazine advertisement for Coca-Cola depicting such a character that appeared in late 1930. Prior to Sundblom's first rendition in 1931, people envisioned Santa Claus as leprechaun-like, or as a queer mixture of a gnome and a bishop. Over the next third of a century, Sundblom's Santa would be embraced by the public worldwide, and become a holiday tradition.


I allow my younger children to be swept up with the modern tradition but I think it is good to teach older children the more authentic older traditions. 11 is a great year to start :)

My DSD is 10 and she still believes in Santa. I think some kids at school tease her about it, but she think she is right and they are wrong. I don't think she would believe us if we told her there wasn't a Santa. I think what Rosehannah said is a good idea.

My DD is 9 and I think someone at school has blabbed - grrrrr! I'm pretty sure she would've been happy to keep believing for another year or two but I'm expecting it will come up in conversation around about the time the box of christmas deccies come out this year! We took my nephew to Santa's Cave the year he'd just turned twelve and he *knew* about Santa but was quite happy to suspend his disbelief and engage with the magic of it all - bless him! The following year he was a "cool" teenager tho and that was the end of that!

Awww..i wouldnt tell him either. He will find out when he is ready. Weve had a natural progression out of Santa believers. Jess stopped at the end of year 6, so 11.5 but we talked to her about how it is so important to keep the magic alive. Its a bit of a joke for us about what shes going to ask Santa for. Em is starting to question a little bit but even at 11 shes still so in love with the whole process I dont think she will question much. I think its lovely to keep it going for as long as they are ready to believe it. I personally wouldnt interfere. My friend's son was told at 5 because she wanted to have an open and honest relationship. Their Christmas experience has never been like ours and shes regretted it ever since.

Jo

Personally, i wouldn't tell unless he straight out asked me 'is he real or not' then i think they have that doubt in their mind and so are ready to know the truth. I found out by myself at around age 7 when i went snooping about. But i still liked to believe in the magic of it all. Even though i 'knew' he wasn't real i still got presents signed from 'santa' etc. Maybe it was because i was younger and an only child, i'm not sure. But i love that Lily is now at an age where she mostly understands us telling her about Santa, it's exciting!

Thanks everyone for your responses so far, after telling my friend she isn't so sure whether to tell him or not now. So keep your suggestions coming.
I can not remember ever believing in Santa and I only have a 7mth old boy, so I have no idea what she should do. Its all new to me.

What?!?!?!?! Santa isn't real???? ;)

We're just having St Nicholas, no Santa here! That way we're not lying to our son. And it's easier to explain in a few years' time.

Cherie, if Santa weren't real, how could he be on the TV?