too devastated to speak

:(after 3 cycles of ivf i finally had a positve result on sept 13. today i had my last ivf scan before being referred to a baby dr. unfortunately my 9 1/2 week old beautiful baby died sometime in the last two days. it was heartbreaking to have my followup scan this arvo with a specialist. dh and i saw our perfect little baby, fingers toes and beautiful head and tummy.....and a still heart. im so devastated and i think in shock. i have been shopping, made dinner and carried on like usual. all except i cant speak to anyone but dh without sobbing and breaking down.
i have to face tomorrow. taking my boy to school and facing friends. plus booking a gp appt for curette referral as fs doesnt want me to try and miscarry as bubs too far along. so sad, its so unfair. i have had such a hard life since the age of 3. why does it continue? sorry have to stop. hope nobody is offended by my self absorbed post.:crying:

Sonya - So sorry to hear of your loss. All I can say is look after yourself and treat yourself with care. Sending you heaps of positive vibes.

Oh Sonya, I'm so very sorry :hugs:
My thoughts are with you...

Nic

Sonya, I am so very deeply sorry for your loss.

There are no words that I can say, all I can give you is my understanding, and my tears. Be as self-absorbed as you need to be, nobody will hold that against you.

I was talking with BG on msn when I saw this thread. There were many, many words said that aren't repeatable here. We share your hurt, your anger, and the outrage at the absolute bloody unfairness that life has asked so many of us to face.

Take care, Sonya. Know that we are thinking of you. :hug:

BW

So sorry to hear about your loss.

I know that nothing anyone can say will make u feel any better remmeber we are all here to listen and offer support!!

xoxo

oh sonya, i am so sad to see your post. be kind to yourselves as you grieve. :hug: xx dusty

so sorry you have to go through this. Thinking of you. :hug:
xo

Deeply sorry for your loss Sonya. Do whatever you need to get through this sad time, we are here to listen and support you. Take care. Big hugs.

Sonya, I'm so so sorry to hear about your loss. My heart goes out to you, and your post is not self-absorbed at all! Let your pain out wherever and whenever you need. I"m sending you big hugs.

i am soo sorry for your loss- the same thing happen to me 6 weeks ago. I lost my IVF bubba at 12 weeks.
I never gets easier to live with - but you learn to live with the pain!
feel free to talk as it does help !!!

take care and cry and feel all you need to and don't deny these feelings!
hugs
odette

Sonya, Sorry to hear your news.
It's so unfair that we have to put up with this crap. I have had probs ever since Aunt Flow arrived in my life many years ago....

I would have a D&C as soon as possible as I miscarried naturaly at 11 weeks and it was the worst thing I have been through. (I now have Ashermans syndrome and PTSD because of what I went through during and after the miscarriage)

Ask the Dr to do it using a Histroscope so he can see what he is doing (a D&C is the only surgery that is done by feel so tell him to do it by camera).

Take care:hug:

Chris

Hi Sonya, so sorry to hear this news too.

Thinking of you here..

Sonya I'm so sorry you have to face this awful situation. Be gentle with yourself as you grieve the loss of your little one. :hug:

Sonya

i am so sorry to hear you lost your bub sending you big :hug: be kind to yourself and we are all hear to talk to.

Munchy xxx

Sonya

when BW told me your news, i cried - and said a lot of things on MSN that just aren't repeatable here - my heart goes out to you hun - there are no words to make this easier or any less painful

my thoughts are with you and your family

BG

Sonya
I am so sorry my sweet...I'm just totally devastated and in shock...I can't believe this has happened...I wish there was something I could say or do...I'm here hun...heartbroken and sobbing with you xxx

So sorry to hear your terrible news Sonya. Thinking of you :hug:

I want to swear so much. I actually have nothing of value to say. I'm so sorry Sonya.

My thoughts are with you and your family Sonya. :hug: Take care with yourself.

Dearest Sonya,

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Please don't apologise for your post...you need to vent & let your body grieve. My thoughts & prayers are with you sweetie.

Sonya i am so sorry for your loss.
:hugs: Thinking of you.

Sorry to hear your sad news, sending you a big hug .

I'm so sorry for your loss. Please be as self-absorbed as you need to be to get through this time. Please be kind to yourself.

Oh Sonya, I am so sorry to hear of what you have just been through. Life is very unfair sometimes. Some people seem to cruise through life problem free and others have many hurdles to overcome. There seems to be no logic and it is totally unfair as to why some people have it harder than others.

Give yourself time to grieve and heal. My thoughts are with you.

I am just so sorry that you have to go through this unjustice.

Fi

saw gp early this morning. got referral and rang dr office. rude relief secretary said sorry no consults till dec 6 go find somewhere else to go. all while im sobbing down the phone. DH rang my gp who rang specialist direct. he spat it and got another secretary on the job. i had my d & c at 4pm today. im in alot of emotional and physical pain. gotta rest up for the next 48 hours. DH has been amazing caring and waiting on me hand and foot. he has even gone out and laybyed a beautiful diamond crossover band eternity ring. as he says he adores me and wants me to understand how brave he thinks i am and how he is in awe of me. im so lucky to have him. probably wont post for a little while. need to grieve and adjust to the reality of baby gone. thankyou so much for your kind words and support.

Dear Sonya, I was so sorry to hear about your loss. I'll keep you in my prayers during this difficult time.

BTW, it sounds like you have the love of a good man. let him comfort you during this awful time.

Sonya, i'm so sorry for your loss. do what you need to do to get through this horrible pain. xxoom

sonya,
Thinking of you and sending BIG hugs:hug:
I'm sure everyone will agree " we are here when you need us!!!"
Your very lucky to have such a great man by your side!!!
take care
Chris

Dear Sonya,

To see your post broke my heart :hug:. I am so sorry. I know the pain - especially when dealing with fertility issues too.

Sounds like you have a very special DH.

Look after yourself.

TICKLISH