Just gotta ask! What is it really like?
What are / were you most surprised by?
What did you wish someone had told you before you gave birth??
Thanks so much! :)
(Am expecting first bub in March 08)
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Just gotta ask! What is it really like?
What are / were you most surprised by?
What did you wish someone had told you before you gave birth??
Thanks so much! :)
(Am expecting first bub in March 08)
I wish people had told me lots of things but just a couplethat come to mind:
1. With a little boy you have to make sure their little willy is pointing down the way when you put on the nappy or they end up all wet. (went through 3 sets of pj's and sheets one night soon after arriving home from hospital and couldn't work out what I was doing wrong!!!)
2. I'd heard of projectile vomits but not projectile poos. Beware the breast fed bubba's!!
Being a Mum is everything you think it will be and then some.
Wonderful
Challenging
Exciting
Exhausting
Amazing
and life altering and I wouldn't change a thing.....
hehehe i could write pages but won't. (have a huge pile of ironing and large G & T with my name on it). When ive been asked this by my friends without kids i say its the hardest but best job ive ever done in my life and am so glad i have done it. The rewards far far outway any negatives - you'll have a ball!
All the best fr March 08
Julie x
Draining - Motherhood is positively draining!!! It drains your energy, your emotions, your spirit, your strength, your perky boobs :P
BUT
I would not trade it for ANYTHING in this whole wide universe!!
It the most satisfying thing I have ever experienced.
Last night my dd had a fever and I got into bed at 00:45. I was stone dead tired, but when she fell asleep on my chest and her hair was brushing against my neck, I broke down and cried. I was sooooo happy and I can't believe that I could love one person that much.
Dito on the projectile poop :cryinglaugh: be afraid, be very afraid - don't think the other side of the room is far away!!
I was the most suprised that 24 hours 7 days a week is THAT long!!!! Did not really notice before dd.
Best advise: Try to stay as calm and relaxed as possible (I can hear everyone go *ppffft* :lol: ) It's hard, but the more tense you get, the more aggitated bubba gets.
Enjoy your little bundle!!
PS. dd was supposed to come on 8 March 2007 :cool:
Motherhood is the hardest, most tiring, most heartbreaking, but rewarding job there is!
Be prepared for constant challenges (crying, teething, sleep problems, bed wetting, friendship breakups, chicken pox, getting bullied at school, telling lies) it goes on and on!
I would say enjoy them while they are little!! They grow up so fast, and they get so very complicated when they are little people as opposed to bubbas.
The other piece of advice I would give would be to listen to your children. Make time for them, and really listen to them. They are people too.
As for birth, I remember my mum saying to me that it is a positive pain, and each contraction brings you closer to holding your baby. I took a 00000 sized Bonds Grosuit into the labour room with me to use as a visualisation - to help me focus on something other than pain, .
Best of luck for March!!!
Motherhood is fantastic and don't let the doommongers tell you otherwise! It is rewarding, fun, challenging and the best thing to ever happen.
Expect breastfeeding to hurt more than giving birth at first. Expect no sleep whatsoever in the first year (that way you'll be thrilled with broken sleep!). Bonding doesn't happen overnight; you do need to work at it.
Most importantly - this baby is YOUR baby. You know him or her the best. You will for a very long time. Don't let anyone - not even a midwife - tell you they know best. You always will. Not your mother, not your MiL, not your midwife, you community children's nurse... YOU. You know how to calm the baby, favourite songs, if baby likes the carrier or the pram, how baby feeds and IGNORE rude comments.
It sounds like a cliche but it really is the best job in the world. Tough, frustrating and confusing at times but oooh so rewarding!
I was surprised by the strength of my love for her, my protectiveness, my mothers instinct and also by how selfless I have become. I was also surprised by how I felt when holding her while she sleeps, watching her play and explore her hands and feet, and how a simple smile from her can erase all the tears, frustration and tiredness from sleepless nights!
Everything everyone told me I now say - Oooooh now I get it! Hee hee - no matter how many people tell you that labour hurts ( It does a bit!), you forget the pain (you do!) breastfeeding is tough (it is!) etc - until you are there it doesnt really hit home! Sounds like you are doing your best to be well researched in everything which is your best preparation!!
Good luck in March and you will love every minute of being a mummy!
It is all of the above!!!!
Some days your amazed at how many hours have passed & your still sitting staring lovingly at your baby in your arms, not concerned with stuff you havent done... The next day your annoyed at how little you have gotten done due to bubs not settling! Your emotions are constantly in your throat about to bubble out & some days they do...
The intense love, overwhelming sense of protection for this little being, that i cannot explain in words! Just iimagine when your young & in love with a boy & you think you'll never get through life wiothout him... Well multiply that by infinity & that is only a small amount you feel for your child! It is so intense!
For me bonding happens during pregnancy! I take time to talk to my belly & I am well & truly bonded with bubba at birth... I used to soak in a hot bath & massage my belly, redaing a magazine & talking to the baby...Even with preg #3, it was my time away from the other 2! So when bubs does arrive we have a strong connection...
I wish someone had told me & acknowledged that I am THIS babies Mummy & I will follow babies cues & do what I think is right as the Mother... Trust your instincts & DO NOT LISTEN to others whom are telling you what to do, yet you sense inside it isnt what you wnat to do!!!
Also get out & go for wlaks no matter how exgausted you are, it will help wto breathe the fresh air!
Hmmm, I could go on but I ahve lunches to make for school!!!!!
As above!
Its tough, don't expect to get the housework done - celebrate it happening.
The baby may sleep a lot - but expect a lot of that at first to be in your arms. Enjoy that time, smelling your baby, cuddling your baby, holding and protecting this life that you're bringing into the world. Don't forget to let the baby go occaisionally!
Breastfeeding isn't the be-all and end-all of feeding your baby - whatever gives you a healthy baby is the right thing to do. A baby that doesn't feed (whether its booby or formulae) isn't healthy.
Don't be afraid to get out & about with your baby - just going down to the grocer's gives you confidence.
Your baby loves it when you sing silly songs and dance like Britney in front of him/her!
And celebrate the little milestones - a g/friend of mine has taken piccies of her baby every week to see the changes. Its amazing!
(Oh - and get your thank-yous pre-printed cause you won't have time to do crafty stuff after the birth)
Wow, all this to look forward to! We have 8.5 weeks left until we meet our little girl!
Now we attended our last ante-natal class yesterday and learnt heaps about breastfeeding (although I'm sure nothing prepares you for the real thing!).
I'm interested to know whether there is in fact anyone out there that had no real issues with breastfeeding??! Because I hear that's it is so difficult to get it right. Would be interested to know whether someone just found it quite easy!
Where do I start....
I never thought I could love someone the way I love Oscar, I never thought I would sit and stare at this tiny little being for half the day and not care about anything else, I never thought I would be so protective and want to hide him away from the world so noone can ever hurt him, I never thought I would spend every last cent I have just to give him the best of everything, I never thought I would cry so much out of frustration or guilt but then I never thought that in a split second those emotions would be erased by a smile or touch..
I could go on forever but as the other girls have all said... Being a Mum is truly the most amazing thing in the world. These tiny little beings are born so innocent and helpless and they need their Mums to take care of them and to help them learn. I think that is the most special thing in the world and I would not trade it for anything.
I wish you all the best in March and I am sure you will make such a great Mum :)
i have to agree with every other great mum who has replied to this .... every thing they said is so true !!! esp. about the tiredness lol
even with battling with anx and depression , motherhood is the strength to keep me going , each day my son confuses me , surpises me , upsets me ,and teaches me and i know he loves me and that is the best feeling in the world ...
we get to hang out all day together , and i get to watch him grow and learn , even if i have only managed to get 1 load of washing done , i dont care , because ds is happy and healthy ...
they dont stay small for long , so hold them when ever you feel like it ... be your own judge on your baby , a professionals advice can help , but if it doesnt work , then dont do it ...
i can never get enough of cuddling my baby and teaching him .... and i love it when he is sick , so i can soothe him and calm him back to health , all in my arms ... i dont care if its 2 am and he is screaming , he wants mum and dad and its the best feeling in the world ...
some times ( RARE) he is very knackered and after a bottle hes asleep in my arms ... i just sit there with him looking at his peaceful face and his soft skin, and i think of his smile .. and his cheekiness ...
I didnt think i could love another man other than my husband so much , until my son came along , love is so strong it hurts .... and bonding doesnt happen over night , but it will happen ;)
and i think no matter how tired i am , i wouldnt trade this for any thing ....
i've learnt that babies are not something that you can control... throw away the notion of having any sort of routine, predictabilty, or any pattern to the days - i wasted so much time striving to get some sort of pattern or rhythm going and it was only at about 6 months that i realised my DD was in control, not me, so no matter how hard i worked, i still had to follow her lead... and in the end it makes no difference if there is no pattern or routine to the day, no difference whatsoever... (if you get a predictable bubs and a pattern going then that is a bonus but definitely not a necessity)
the biggest shock for me was really how i would be the number 1 primary carer... i thought i was going into it 50/50 with my partner, but it was in the first few weeks when i was up pacing the floor for hours on end in the middle of the night that it suddenly dawned on me.... this is it. im the one. im the one that deals with the sleep, or lack of it, the middle of the night feeds, the fussiness... the buck stops with me. it took me a while to come to terms with this. but now that i have, i cherish my role and wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. in the beginning i used to envy my partner at being able to go off to work and have that 'break'... now i know better, much better.
it was also over whelming at just how tired you get, and the fact that you really don't get a chance to recuperate and recharge, its just GO GO GO... when i was pregnant i used to sleep so poorly at night, but that is NOTHING compared to when bubs comes along... and for me there was no chance to nap while she napped. it was pure exhaustion.
and one thing that everyone will tell you but you will never understand until it starts happening - IT REALLY DOES GO SO QUICKLY... in the blink of an eye its over.... so try to enjoy it and cherish those moments no matter how stressed and tired you are... the best mantra to repeat during a bad day or week is 'this phase will not last forever, this phase will not last forever'... at the time you think its never going to end.... then bam, its over, they start feeding better or sleeping better or whatever it is.... then in a few weeks its onto something else challenging!!
i really think i am going to enjoy the experience with number 2 so much more as i will be so much more relaxed.
best of luck!!
All of the above & more. Oh & when people say enjoy them when they are little, they grow up to fast LISTEN! Its true. There are so many little things I miss seeing. Jaz's chin used to quiver when she was feeding & Bri used to scratch me under the arm & pinch me when she fed. Remember all the little things. Get a book & write them all down. Everything.
It is the hardest thing I've ever done, but I love it. Almost every minute of it. I don't know anyone who loved dealing with colic!
JUST RELAX & ENJOY IT! The sooner they talk, the sooner they talk back. The sooner they walk, the sooner they hide when they are in trouble! As soon as they can draw pretty pictures they can redecorate your walls! Oh &learning to take off their own nappy can be a whole different type of redecorating!
When all this stuff happens laugh & remind yourself how much you do love them & that there is always worse to come - They will be teenagers one day!
Bindy - I had alot of trouble with my first, it was really painful - like pins stabbing me in the nipple - I gave up after 6 weeks. But with DD2 it felt so good. No pain at all. None. Everything was perfect til she got thrush at 4 weeks, then I got it too. Then I attached her wrong once & got cracked & bled & it was painful for a while. I ended up giving up again coz the stress was getting too much. Hopefully this time I can stick it out longer.
Emotional, tiring, frustrating, fulfilling, exciting, fun, testing...how many more adjectives can I think of?
It will be the hardest but the best thing you will ever do. Everybody always focuses so much on the birth...and that is important, but it is what comes after that is the true challenge.
I didn't really understand "love" before i was a mother.
I didn't really understand "tired" before i was a mother.
I didn't really understand "joy" before i was a mother.
I didn't really understand "relentless" before i was a mother.
And i'm pretty sure now that once i have #2 i'll realise i didn't really understand them all now either... ;)
Bindy i'd read a couple of books with step by step attachment pictures of BFing before bubs was born and i think this was the key to me getting it right when she was new. I had a homebirth so i was only shown once, right after birth, how to attach her (and their method wasn't so hot for me in fact) by the midwives but i just knew what i was aiming for (good mouthful of boob taken, nipple deep in bubs mouth, breast touching chin and cheeks, baby's gums on the outer regions of the aerola, not on the nipple, and no sensation of rubbing or moving - the nipple is still while baby sucks and not moving in and out) and tried different things out until i had a good method for us both which worked. I have giant boobs so i found support during a feed was very important. DD fed no problems. Yes, feeds took a LONG time at first and if i felt i wasn't SURE the attachment was great, i'd take her off and give it another go, but no, i had no real issues. My nipples are flat so the first few seconds of a feed were a bit toe-curling as she sucked it into the back of her mouth and stretched it out, but nothing awful, and so fleeting, and after 2 or 3 days i'd stretch them by hand (because i could be gentler) and that solved that. I had no blisters, no cracks, no mastitis (nearly once but averted it with frequent massage-and-feed sessions and plenty of rest). I loved my BFing time and am only keen to do it again, i anticipate no problems.
Bx
Moving this to Baby & Toddler General Discussion.
I think it's really important to accept the baby you have for who they are. I think it's the key to having a harmonous relationship with them.
It's almost unbelievably hard at times (I'm not saying that to scare you, when I found it hard it really helped me to know that other people had felt the same way) but it's the best thing I've ever done.
What is it really like? It's great. I love it.
What are / were you most surprised by? How much I worry about her. How hard breastfeeding is/can be.
What did you wish someone had told you before you gave birth?? That when you are handed your baby you don't nessesarily feel an instant 'bond'. I remember thinking that she felt like a wet, slodgy frog!
Ah, being a mum is great. I was overwhelmed (and still am at times) by so much - particularly by how different life is and by how deep my love for her is. It is a wonderful adventure. Enjoy!
Bindy: re breastfeeding, talking to people from the ABA I have found really encouraging - there are loads of people who bfed without any issues at all. I had pain for 6-7 weeks, but that was the worst of it. I think if you expect a bit of pain at first, set yourself a goal and work towards that (ie give yourself a chance to get into the swing of it - perhaps about 6 weeks?) and surround yourself with supportive people (perhaps join the ABA?) it is much easier.
So much of what everyone else has said holds true for me too.
One thing it took me a while to come to terms with though was accepting offers of help! Being someone who doesn't like other people in my kitchen or doing "stuff" for me, this was a hard one, but when you are so exhausted an offer of help can make all the difference in the world. Next time I'll just ask for help when I need it rather than pretending that I don't!
That would be me Bindy:redface::
I'm interested to know whether there is in fact anyone out there that had no real issues with breastfeeding??!
No one told me I would need more clothes pegs LOL!! Seriously, baby clothes are so tiny you can fit so much into a single wash that you will end up with no pegs.
oh, oh, me too me too:
I didn't realise how much I would miss my pregnant belly.
But I love my little man, and although you know in the back of your mind how truly amazing and special it is every time your child smiles at you it doesn't sink in until the first time.
Another one with no breastfeeding issues here. Attachment was good. Milk came in well. No cracked nipples, no soreness or tenderness, no mastytis. I just wish the stuff had stayed in his tummy where it was meant to be rather than all over me and my couch :)
I am with Dee and the help issue. I had to let go of a lot of that, especially with my MIL. But I have found that it improved my relationship with her.
I was lucky enough that everyone told me pretty much everything I would need to know. I guess one thing that I did notice was how much I didn't care about who saw me naked while giving birth or who saw my boobs while ever I breastfed, and any discomfort I felt with doctors looking at my parts before is well and truly gone!
Good luck!
Not sure if it's been said, but babies cry ALOT. No matter what age, alot of them say it stops at a certain age....my 6.5 month old still screams alot during the day, and is going nuts right now :( not sleeping through etc. Sorry, but it's just my truth.
I agree with littlefig on the not caring who saw you naked while giving birth!
I am really conservative but I even had no worries having a student Dr look on.
Wow, I wished I'd asked this question b4 i had my DD! I was so completely overconfident b4 that when it came to the actual thing, I felt I was totally inept and overwhelmed. But i wasn't. Something kicks in eventually. It really does!
Ditto to everything the other mothers have said. Be prepared to be so unbelievably tired you'll want to cry because it actually becomes a physical pain after so many sleepless nights, but you'll be too tired to cry. Then your body actually does get used to sleeping in short intervals and after a while, you'll cope!
There'll be times you'll wonder what the heck you're doing and what on earth is happening to you, but THIS WILL PASS. As Robin Barker says in 'Baby Love' (if u only get one baby book, make it this one!!), 'this too shall pass'. Keep repeating that when things get sticky. Also remind yourself that it will get better. It will!
You don't have to be perfect, you just have to be there for your bub. Those first few weeks are spent just getting to know your child so have lots and lots of patience and be kind to yourself.
I also have to echo the fact that you become so totally selfless. All the little annoyances u faced b4 melt away and you'll wonder at how seemingly trivial it all was b4 your baby.
I truly believe mothers are like this whole other species of human. I have so much respect for mothers now. We do EVERYTHING. We keep our families running and still have time to love and nurture our babies. The constant-ness of motherhood can be so scary. You never have a day off from the moment your baby is born, but somehow we cope and better yet, we have the time of our lives doing it.
Best of luck for March. You're going to do great!
Neuri
Ladies, I have read this thread with tears running down my face.
You are all inspirational!!
within a month you will wonder " What did we do/talk about before we were parents.
I wish someone had tald me that I would have a deflated belly that wobbled and swayed when I walked for the 1st week, That it's not like the movies you wont fit into your old clothes for awhile unless you are one of the lucky few. You wont know everything, you learn alot with your first but gets easier with the others, If you need help ask if you need sleep, SLEEP !! they will only think you are the funniest, smartest, most beautiful while they are little. but most of all
ENJOY, ENJOY, ENJOY they are only this little for such a short time.
Hey everyone,
Thanks for all of your replies! I am sure they will be very useful for when the time comes. I just wish it would hurry up and come FASTER... lol :)
Thanks again. xox
What is it really like? It's the hardest of jobs and the easiest of jobs all rolled into one. It's the most emotionally painful thing you'll ever do, and the most emotionally rewarding experience also. You'll find intensity of feeling you never realised you had.
What are / were you most surprised by? The paradigm shift from pre-Mother to Mother.... in terms of priorities, amount of "me" time, time available for relationships outside of the family (ie with friends, colleagues etc).
What did you wish someone had told you before you gave birth?? I wish I was more aware of the huge hormonal/emotional swings that continue to happen after the first few weeks of birth.... who can forget walking into the pharmacy on day 6 post-birth and bursting into tears because the exact tube of nipple cream is no longer available on the shelf :rolleyes: