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Hi girls,
I am just curious. DH and i have been talking about finding out the gender of bubs (when pregnant hopefully soon!) and DH wants to find out but i don't think I do want to find out until the birth. I mean I do, but I don't at the same time!!!!
Just interested to hear your stories about your DH wanting to find out but you weren't sure or didn't want to? What did you do?
Did he find out at the scan and kept it secret?
Thanks girls :dance:
I had a post like this when we first stated TTC... because my partner is like yours, defiantely wants to know for planning etc, but I don't really. Well, I do, I'd love to know, but i figure I'll know eventaully, and can wait for that surprise.
I still don't want to know, but do, but don't. And I don't think my partner could keep it a secret, so I think we're going to end up finding out, but we're going to get the ultrasound person to tell Shel, and then Shel tell me. Because its me going through the pregnancy and telling her stuff thats going on in me, I thought it would be nice for her to share something special with me.
So I think we're doing that... but that said, I still would rather wait!
well we were the oposite, I needed to know after losing a daughter I needed to know what we were having
anyway I found out and Jase left the room, I thought I did so well keeping it a secret :rolleyes:but apparently I didn't but Jase never let on that I had let the cat out the bag
Moving to pregnancy general discussion.
An ex BB member found out that she was having a little girl & to this day (she was born the day after Zander) he still doesn't know that she found out!
First baby i always think is a nice surprise not to know about.
But 2nd time i had to know...i needed to know if i i was finally getting my lil boy....of course i didnt...but within my mind...DH and i had to know.
DH wanted to wait...but he had no choice...WE had to know..LOL
i kept it a surprise for all 3 of my boys but found out for this pregnancy. I personally like the surprise more
I told DH that we weren't finding out - when he gets pregnant he can decide if we find out or not. I need something to keep me going in labour and I promise you after 33 hours if you know the gender, name, face (from ultrasounds) then what's the point? TBH I'd still happily be 18m pregnant right now. Finding our if we had a boy or a girl meant I didn't really want to stop, I wanted to find out!
I am not going to find out with any subsequent baby. But I'm not going to tell the medical profession I'm pregnant next time because they aren't coming anywhere near me!
yeah I am going to be easily swayed i guess, when pregnant and waiting for the 20 week scan to tell us, who knows i could change my mind and want to know and DH may decide he doesnt want to know (that's what he said) so it could go either way i guess.
I think if DH found out i would want to know too!!! Because its something we share together you know? And i would be worried he would let it slip out to someone else therefore someone may know the sex before i do! that wouldn't be very good!!!!
Is it cruel if a woman says to her DH "you arent going to find out until the birth" and tells the sonographer (or whoever they are called!) not to tell either of us!??
does that happen? what are the DH's rights then? Does he have a right to know? I think so...
im just curious as to how we should go about it so that our DH's aren't feeling like they arent important in the decisions etc
i mean we havent even talked about all this but i just want to know what ppl do so that i am not put in a position! I want my DH to feel happy about it all and if he wants to find out then he should have that right hey?
I don't even know if the partners can find out without the mum knowing>??
I have a friend whose husband wanted to know and she didn't and she was told that wasn't allowed...
So she had to find out as she didn't want her partner to not know
yeah Aussienic, i think that is what will happen.... if DH really really really wants to know then i can't deny him that hence i will probably find out.....
he needs to be involved as much as me as possible. :) and i guess thats the thing our DH has control of hey? seeing as we pretty much control the rest of what happens hehe (ie we grow baby etc)
I think someone on BB actually got it written down & they opened it up later on, maybe you could do that for DH & you not look?
I was told Jase could find out if I didn't want to know, the sonographer could look then when I was getting cleaned up can tell the dad etc.........
We both definately wanted to find out, there was absolutely no hesitation at all and we have even named her Madeleine! Now we just can't wait to meet her!! :dance:
I think finding out is a great idea (so u can bond closer, choose clothes etc) however at the same time it would be a lovely surprise after pushing for hours, to find out the gender that way!!!!! :P
oh i dont know!!!!!!! So indecisive!!!!! hehe
i guess i'll worry about it when i am pregnant hey! hehe
With PG no.1 we kept it a secret, it was nice to find out at the birth. With pg no.2 I m/c at 13 1/2 weeks, I wished that I had found out as I felt like I wanted to know something about my angel. With pg. no. 3 I was told that they couldn't tell at the 18 week ultrasound, I was very disappointed as I felt the need to know .( I found out at a later ultrasound). With pg. no. 4 we wanted to find out but were told by the lady doing the ultrasound that she didn't like to say. My DH supported me in my decisions to find out he said there were good and bad factor either way. the hardest thing is to keep the secret for people who don't want to know like my MIL.
Ryn - so your DH really wanted to find out the gender?? And you just put your foot down cos it meant alot to you?
thats what i feel like i would want to do but at the same time i dont want to deny DH that gift of finding out....
i do like the idea of him finding out first then few days later telling me in a special note, thats sweet.
we didn't find out- and i am so so glad we didn't. it made the labour and last stages of pg so exciting. i'll never forget the moment i looked down at my baby and saw he was a little boy. after hours of pain, it was one of the best moments of my life. if you can convince your dh to hold out, do it. in my opinion, it makes the reward at the end a little sweeter...our family and friends really loved the surprise as well. they were all hanging on our text message.
Thanks Gracie, i do agree with you. :)
I found out with both our kids because im just way too impatient! but now that we have one of each we wont be finding out next time, i would like a surprise!
I've been undecided whether to find out or not but after reading this post, I don't think I will find out. The ladies who mentioned that it's a really nice surprise after going through labour has convinced me :) I'd like to be surprised after all the hard work!
We're planning on finding out but keeping it realatively secret with friends. Hmmmm wonder if I can!
I wasn't allowed to find out, but I think it's a fella...DH thinks it's a sheila. Oh, and I wanted to find out but we compromised as this is his first!
thanks girls! :P
yeah we'll just have to see what happens at the time of the scan i guess and go with what our hearts tell us to do ....
i dont think i'll be able to wait 9mths to find out but at the same time, if i can wait that long it would be great also...
now gotta make a baby first hehe :lol: (if not already!)
MY DH and DD wanted to find out so i was out numbered and gave in..... but in the end bub's decided for us by keeping his/her legs crossed tighly through BOTH scans. so now we have a little suprise and i'm so greatful becasue as my due date approaches i'm that much more excited about finding out! and so is DH and DD :)
yeah thats a good thing i reckon when bubs hides, he/she obviuosly wants you to wait hey!!! ;)
aww thats great!!
We had to find out and we will be finding out again this time..i just love knowing so i can buy everything i want in the colour i want etc! DP is the same but this time he wants to keep it a secret from family and friends..yeh right i dont know if i can hang out that long!!
my SIL found out for both her pregnancys wat she was having but her DH didnt want to know so she had to keep it from him and everyone else!
Blanchie - yeah thats the thing, if DH found out and i didnt, he would have to make sure he didnt tell anyone else before me accidentally!!!! it'd be upsetting if someone found out before you did and its your baby!!! lol...
i like the idea of finding out the gender and being able to set up the nursery etc... becoz not finding out means you would have to stick to non-gender specific items and hold off buying stuff until bubs is born!!!
so there are advantages to both hey
Ren, DH did come round to my way of thinking when I explained why I wanted to wait. But we debated it for a while and he realised I wasn't going to budge, plus we weren't even asked at the scans!
Thing is, yes I get the first kicks and the tummy-stroking in the day, but he gets to drink a bottle of my favourite wine because I bought it a week ago and can't have it now. Swings and roundabouts. Plus, I'm up all night being kicked and he gets the caffeine! DH was always the best at calming Liebs in utero, but wouldn't sleep all night with his hand on the bump for me.
Given the nagging we had about name choices to reveal, we didn't want that with the gender too. I think that convinced DH the most!