At what age is someone defined as a "young mum"? What are you if you aren't a young mum? A "medium aged" mum? lol
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At what age is someone defined as a "young mum"? What are you if you aren't a young mum? A "medium aged" mum? lol
I don't know... I get referred to as a young Mum all the time... and I find it strange now that I am days away from being 32... admittedly I did have my eldest son when I was 18, but still being referred to as young is strange but it is still flattering all the same! lol
Hmm....I think probably before age 25 is considered young to have kids these days. Most of my friends are no where near it!! lol.
My nana was considered to be a late bloomer because all her friends were married and had babies before 20 and she was 21 when she had her first, my mum was always told how old she was because she had me at 32, now 32 and older is more normal than before 30 lol just funny to see how contexts change. I'm called a young mum all the time but I feel like a "right age" mum for me :)
I think under 21 is young
I was 23 when I had my eldest..
Well i'm 21, have 2 kids and ttc#3. I think i'm a young mum. Lately though i have seen and heard of more and more younger people having kids. Like 20-23yo. So i reckon this age group will soon be not considered so young anymore. I reckon it's great being the age that i am though and having kids because i'm not too old to run around with them and i won't be too old to run around with my grandkids either, which i would love.
I'll be about a week off 25 when my first bub is born, is that still considered a young mum?
My mum was 20 when I was born, my sister is 21 and has 2 young kids (under 2).
I will be 19 when bubba's born.
I think anyone under 25 is considered young mums these days, most people aren't having kids til their 30's
My mum was 15 when she had my big sis and is now a mother of 8 the youngest being 5months. In my opinion she started too young (not judging anyone else) she just wasn't mentally ready
I'll be 23 when Bob is born, turning 24 in July, DP will be a few weeks off 27. My mum was 23 when she had my older sister, 25 when she had me 27 when she had my brother and 29 when she had my younger sister.
when I had my 1st at 21 I was put in a young mum group as the hospital found that those under 24 felt better in a group of women who where all 24 and under with out been judged by the older mums.
but you are only as old as you feel I guess some people who are in there late 20's might feel that they are a young mum due to there friend not having kid iykwim.
Now I feel quite old at 28 with three kids and think that if I have my planned 4th at 31 I will almost too old which I know is silly as I will be of " normal "age but when you have your 1st at a young age having one at 31 will seam old.
Under 30 seems to be young over here. I love being a young mum, I wear the sleepless nights better!
I had DS a month off my 21st. At the time I didn't feel young at all, I was totally ready. Now, if I heard of a 20 yo having a child i'd think it was pretty young...I guess it depends on the person. Having said that I wouldn't want either of my daughters to have children that young (not judging anyone - as I said, I had my first then).
The Young Approach to Pregnancy and Parenting Program, at the GH, where i'll be having bubby, is open to mum's 21 and under... so basically anyone over this age bracket is not able to receive the extra 'young parent support'
A little off topic, but funny to think that...
Centrelink defines you as dependent on your parents until age 24 (unless you prove otherwise).
Tax Office defines you as independent one you are 16 or over and are no longer studying full time.
Be amazing if they could 'regulate' the system, wouldn't it?
here to really Caryn as my sister's who are all very my city girls ( in melbourne ) are in their 30's and there is no way they are even thinking about kids and here I am their baby sis and have 3 I guess its when you meet the right guy you feel ready to have a child, before that you couldnt see it. iykwim
Ashant, I agree! You can vote at 18 but be killed for your country at 16. You can buy alcohol and cigarettes at 18 but have a baby legally at 16. You need parental consent to marry at 16. The law is crazy!
Our breastfeeding support group was originally for young mums, 25 and under. I was 25 when I had DS (he was 8 days old on my 26th birthday) so was able to slip into the group, mostly because it was a quiet group and younger mums didn't turn up.
Tali, I don't know about the right guy. Many girls seem to just grab a guy to get pregnant then dump him. It's really sad to see that happen. I was on the lookout for my Mr Right, but my sister can't see hers even though he flies to the States to buy her gifts from Tiffany's! (I really like her current chap.)
When our grandparents had kids, over 20 was old, when mum had kids, under 20 was young, I had always thought under 25 as young... but now under 30 is considered young! Who knows! Some people live at home with parents until 25-30! Don't even think about marriage, owning a home or that stuff...
I'd rather be a young mum, my SIL is 34 and had her first at 20, mum had me at 18, and another frien has hers at 18, and they all agree, when you're younger its easier to "bounce back" (their words not mine lol) and deal with sleepless nights etc.
I think under 21 is young, i think you really need to enjoy your 18th and 21st birthday before getting into the stress of being responsible for a human life. i know a few people who haven't done this and the are now regretting not enjoying partying with thier friends before having kids. 1 who has split from her fiance because they were too young when they commited to each other and thier little girl.
Everyone is different and that is not always the case i always wanted to have kids at 20 (and was ready)but as time went by other things happened and at 27 i will have my 1st. it also depends if you have been with a partner for 5 years then you would feel ready at a young age, and also the people around you and how mature you are. i think 25 is ideal.
I guess, on the other hand nads159... My mum had me at 18, and my parents are still together... my friend who had hers at 18 just celebrated their 10th anniversary, and my SIL celebrates 15 years with her hubby this year..... so I think it all depends on the individual too (Plus all were together less than a year when they fell pregnant...).
To me a young mum is under 21. I had my first at 22 and now onto my third and i am 26. I get looks all the time. It really annoys me as this is my decision in life and i look after my kids they have nice clothes they are always dressed well and never look scruffy. Always wear shoes when out and never yell and scream when in public. I do look younger then 26 so that is maybe why. I think that everyone is different and i hate the judgment. Sorry that was a bit of a vent
lots more to say i just can't spit it out at the moment might come back later:)
Thanks for listening
Nikki
I agree with the need to enjoy your 18th & 21st as I was pregnant for both of them.
When I had Jaz I felt like a young mum coz I was preggers at 17. With Bri I was only 20/21, so I was still young, but I could legally walk into a pub, so I guess I felt a bit better & not so judged. I'm 23 turning 24 with this one, but I don't feel like a young mum at all any more. Because I was so young with DD1 I think of anything under 18 as too young.
I suggest starting to have babies at around 25, coz you've had plenty of time to enjoy yourself, but your still young.
I say this from experience. It's really hard for me to have never had an adult life at all. I've never been able to go out all night & sleep all dy. I've never been able to be totally selfish like that. It doesn't really worry me now, but when I was about 20 & had alot more friends without kids I saw what I was missing & that was hard.
I think until you are 18 you're not mature enough, you should give youself a few years being legally of age to enjoy yourself first.
I'm not judging anyone. I do believe age has no bearing whatsoever on parenting ability. I just thing every one should have the chance to enjoy themselves before settling down with kids. As I said, I speak from personal experience.
Oh i did not mean that anyone here is judgmental i meant when i am out in public etc.
I agree that you do need to live a little while being a teenager and i also agree that i am having my kids young so they will be older enough and i am still young enough to travel and do the thing i want to do.:)
Nikki
Yes out in public is a bit different, but I don't really get looks anymore. Either coz they've stopped or I stopped paying attention. I don't go very far with DD1 now she's at school though, so people are a little surprised when I say I already have a child at school.
I do get people who see me & think this is my first or second coz I usually only have Bri with me or I'm alone. When they try to give advice about what I've got to look forward to I just say 'Yeah I've done it twice now, so I should be right'. I usually just get an 'oh', or 'well you're an expert then'.
I think bjrose has hit the nail on the head there. I believe that everyone should have their time of being "selfish" and get it out of their systems so they can then be "selfless" with their children. Not saying that if you didn't get a chance to do that then you are a slefish parent - what I mean is everyone deserves a bit of selfish time in their lives!:
From what everyone has been saying, most are in agreeance that under 21 is a young mum. I will be 20 when my bubs is born but dont feel that I am classified as a young mum basically because i dont feel like I am a young mum!! if that makes sense ... haha
I have always said I would have kids around this age and it just so happens that everything has fallen in to place to allow me to do so. I have been married for over a year now, DH is able to support me and our baby so i can be a SAHM, we own our own home and a couple of investments and are financially stable etc. Most people wait until they are financially stable before they start having kids, i guess i have just been lucky enough that this has happened for us a lot sooner rather than later.
I agree that under 21 is young, but whether or not the person is 'young' mentally is a different thing. I dont think it has any indication on your ability to be a good or bad mum, whatever these may be. I think the whatever age a person has a baby is the right age ... they are obviously the right age in someones mind - everything happens for a reason!
I think being a young mum is going to be the best time in my life and im sure others who have had their baby 'young' (whatever age classification that is!!) would agree!! :)
Being young mentally, and in actual age are 2 differnt things. I'm 20, and was 19 when I had Blake, just turned 19 when we conceived and had been TTC for 10 months prior.
I believe a "young" mum in age is under 30, but these days the average age for your first is around 29, so that fits. I believe you are only as "old" as you feel - someone aged 18 and mature minded might feel as "old" as a 35 year old, IYKWIM?
I was very young in age to have a baby, but I'd been there, done that with all the things such as partying etc before I considered having a baby. I hate that people can judge "young" mums, just as much as people judge "old" mums. Any woman has the right to be a mother at any age!
totally agree!!:
I call young mums 24 and under.
At the hossy i gave birth in they had young mums program and that was ladies 23 and under.
Both my girls were born when i was 24 :D
Mum had my sister at 22. My sister had her first at 23. My first (and second) at 24!!
leease - sorry you must have misunderstood me i did only say 1 was spilt for thier partner but the others regret not enjoying parting before having kids.
bjrose - i see you agree with everything i have said, and i agree that i don't judge anyone as i wanted to have a baby at 20 but it didn't end up that way.
Nikki - i agree that there are some people who ar mature for thier age and there is no reason to hold back if you feel you are ready. especially if you are financially stable.
I also beleive that where you live has alot to do with it. There is definatly areas which have younger or older mums and you do get influenced by the people around you.
I really think it depends on the indivdual......i was 21 when i had my first child and i was more then ready but friends of mine who were the same age were no way near ready, they needed to learn to look after themselves first before even considering bringing a baby into the world !!!!
Having said that i must say i'm absolutely disgusted when i hear of 13 year olds having babies....to me that is a baby having a baby.
Well I was meant to be 19 when Laila was born (she was due 15th Dec) but she came late on the 23rd Dec and my bday was the 17th Dec so I was just 20. Im 21 next month and so I will be 21 with 2 kids under 2.
I had just turned 25 when Charlie was born & people called me a "young Mum", I had been with DH for 6yrs & married just under a year when I got pregnant & people had the nerve to ask "was it an accident"!! I don't think that was young at all.
I would say still in your "teens" is young, you need to enjoy yourself, be young IYKWIM.
Years ago as many have said our parents were having bubs as soon as married, many around 20 & it was normal, now as times have changed we are considered young. But reading all your posts I see another change evolving & I say in a few years you won't be considered so yound anymore.
We do lots for our kids, we live for them. When they leave home you start to "live again (in a different way)" IYKWIM. I saw my parents & my IL's & what they do now & they are still able to enjoy themselves as they are not too aged & sick & that is why we made the choice to have our baby & I aim to have all bubba's before 30.
Under 22 years old comes to mind for some reason. Not sure why or what makes me draw the line there. However, I was suprised when I was in hospital recently in pre-term labour and I overheard one of the nurses referring to me as the "young Mum" in Room 12. I'm 29 but it felt nice to be referred to as a "Young Mum". So, obviously everyone has a different view on this.
Hi girls!
I was 16 turning 17 when i first fell pregnant. Although i was dead set of keeping the baby it was the dumbest thing i could have done. My mum had me at exactly the same age and had drilled into me all my life not to make the same mistake. Not that she regretted having me, just that she wanted me to have other things in life. Unfortunetly (or fortunetely, depending on how you look at it, but thats a whole other issue) i miscarriade the pregnancy at 12 weeks.
I was 19 when i fell pregnant for the second time. Another one of my silly mistakes. I am not ashamed to say that i terminated this pregnancy. I had just secured a Traineeship in a government department after being unemployed since high school. Throwing the traineehsip in and keeping the baby would not have been the right decision. I sure everyone has an opinion on this but it was my decision and as hard it was, i made it.
In 2005 i fell pregnant just after my 21'st birthday. I had given a bit of thought to having a baby before my 21'st but then after i my birthday i decided to wait a little longer. Well i did'nt have to! I fell pregnant with Briley in August, 1 month after my 21'st. It must have been fate. I was 1 month short of 22 when i had Briley.
Then in 2006 i fell pregnant again, this one was planned, i was 22. Colby was due and born on the 3'rd of August so i was 23 when i had her.
Getting to the point, I think i am a young mum. But really, anyone under the age of 25 is classed as a young mum these days. I am glad i started when i did and don't regret my girls one bit. They are the light of my life.
I was in my local drs surgery just yesterday, and there was a poster for a "young mums group" ages 14-24. I personally think a young mum is aged up to 25. Once you reach 25 you are "just a mum" lol. Considering our "body clocks" run from around 14 yrs to 38yrs. Really a 25yr old mum is middle aged :D
I totally agree!! I was disgusted that this young mums group poster I saw advertised from 14yo!! I know accidents happen but at 13 or 14 we are still girls. To me a young lady is from 16, and a young woman is from 18.:
Having said that i must say i'm absolutely disgusted when i hear of 13 year olds having babies....to me that is a baby having a baby.
I guess it is clear that everyone has different views, i consider myself young, but obviously its also drilled into you that if it's not the norm then it's one or the other... i feel that i am ready to raise a child, if i did not think i was capable of this task i would have terminated the pregnancy or considered adoption, so i do not feel that i need to justify my age.
Ive spent three years out of home, ive partied, ive wasted money, ive had amazing times, and as for work...i am not interested in a high powered career, i want to be a mum. that has always been the the number one for 'ambitions, aspirations and dreams'... so i am not shy of embracing the opportunity that has come to me, whilst a little less prepared and a little earlier than i would have liked, our jellybean is also a 'welcome surprise'.
Of course i still want the opportunity to finish uni and to be able to work to support my family, but i feel there is nothing more special than bringing a human life into this world, and i am prepared and set up to do so, so i feel that i am old enough... I have pg scatterbrain so i hope this makes sense :P
Hmmm, good question?
I guess to me a young mum might be someone under 25?
:
It's probably not 'ideal' for a 13/14 year old to get pg but there's worse things they could do than get pregnant. Our bodies are made to conceive from around 13 (Mine wasn't though!) We need to make sure as a society we support all Mum's regardless of age. A mum is a mum.
I remember being frowned at when as a 14 year old I would push my baby sister in her pram and people thought she was mine. It was quite entertaining actually!
Ash, yes you make perfect sense. I think it's great when young women feel they are ready to have children and still have plenty of time for all the things they wish for in life after/while they have children because they are so young and have plenty of time and energy. (me feeling old here..)
[QUOTE=Ella's Mum;1020765 Our bodies are made to conceive from around 13(Mine wasn't though!)QUOTE]
My body was "ready" at 10 years old. I got my periods at school in Year 5!!! My body might have been ready but, mentally, i certainly was'nt!!!
It made perfect sense! I couldn't have put it any better. No-one young or old should have to justify their age or decisions. It's our body and life and it's our choice, we live with the consiquences of having beautiful children!!!!! :D:
We need to make sure as a society we support all Mum's regardless of age. A mum is a mum.
Ella's mum, I tend to agree, whilsty it isn't ideal it is the decision they have made :)