May need a c/s due to baby not engaging advice wanted!

Hello

I am due on 25 October, I have been told I have pubis symphysis dysfunction and at 38 weeks baby is very high with a firmly closed cervix. My doctor was going to induce me early due to the severe pelvic pain I am experiencing (physio has recommended I stay off my feet or get a wheelchair :-({|= ).But because baby has not engaged by now my doctor said an induction may not be successful and even by my due date a c/s is more than likely going to be required as my baby is most likely a whopper.

I have opted to wait and just put up with the pain and boredom i am suffering until my due date and hope the baby engages. If not, I am quite terrified of a c/s and an epidural (which I will need either way because of the pelvic pain). I know you shouldn't have expectations but I really didn't want an epidural or a c/s and now am faced with both! Anyone been through anything similar with some encouraging advice for me?

I would really appreciate some advice as it is getting me quite depressed, all I do is sit around the house all day because I have to stay off my feet and that leaves me to stew and stress and worry about what is going to happen when the time comes to get my bubby out.

CindyC

Hi Cindy - welcome to BB... come join us other expectant October births in the October thread! (I'm due 3 days after you...)

A few things... firstly, I know heaps of people whose babes haven't engaged until labour; secondly as for saying it's a whopper, most of the time doctors guesses of size are very innacurate.

There are lots of articles and comments here in BB relating to pubis symphysis dysfunction which you should read... It seems to me that it is very commonly misdiagnosed by doctors who are over-eager to interfere with the natural process of giving birth... that said though, I'm sure sometimes it is a legitimate concern and you should listen to your docs advice. Just don't get too stressed yet - your baby still has a couple of weeks up its sleeve to make its move!

I hear you about the pelvic pain - I've been getting it quite badly too. It sucks!

Sending you lots of engaging vibes...

Firstly welcome to BB! Just wanted to say I agree wholeheartedly with Dee. I have PSD and am seeing a fantastic physio to help, along with the use of a brace its been way more managable than my first pregnancy. Are you having phsyio? If not I would definitley recommend seeing someone who specialises in PSD as there are postnatal exercises that are important too. Re engaging, who says a baby needs to engage before hand? I have friends who's bubs didn't engage till labour, and also they had smaller babies than when their babies engaged. There is no cut and dry "Ok this will happen so therefore c/s" and it makes me reaaaaally angry when I hear obs sprouting this kind of rubbish. Not only does it cause the mother to fear labour (which can lead to more intervention than needed due to stress), but it often causes them to make unnecessary choices about intervention. Please don't forget its your body and your choice, and if you aren't happy with what your OB has suggested tell him otherwise.

Goodluck and I'm sure you'll get lots of supportive advice.

Stick to your guns!

*hugs*
Cailin

Cindy - firstly a huge =D> to you for hanging in there - I know the pain must not be nice but you've done a great thing for wanting things to come in their own time.

It's easy to feel depressed like this - I had major back problems with my first and was fairly housebound - the only thing that got me through was visits from my dad and some friends - can you have people pop over to visit?

Secondly, but just as importantly, know that your Ob CANNOT do anything you don't want him to due. They can actually be charged with abuse for this - sounds extreme I know but it's true - I know cases of women having episiotomies and having their water broken without the Ob asking first - not good.

One thing you might like to try is beating a possible induction by trying some natural methods. Evening Primrose Oil has a substance which is like prostaglandins and helps to soften your cervix. It can be used orally and/or internally. A usual oral dosage is 2-3 of 500mg capsules daily from 36 weeks. If you are taking EPO internally, you can do this from 38 weeks – simply insert 2-3 capsules directly to the cervix before bed. You might like to wear a pad or liner as it can get messy when you get up.

I've actually just finished writing an article on natural induction methods for next month but there are heaps of threads in the birth forum that you might like to read about it too.

To help pass time, you might like to find some really good books that will help you achieve the birth you want. Try 'Active Birth' by Janet Balaskas and you might like to spend some time on BellyBelly making some new friends! Two weeks will pass faster than you know... maybe you could even start a thread in the birth forum about ideas on making two weeks pass from home :)

I hope you have great support for the birth lined up - they'll need to be a rock for you and be well informed of your wishes. All the best for a wonderful birth and again - what a fantastic decision you are making for both you and baby. A truly great gift.

Thanks so much for all your replies. I do feel in my heart that the best thing to do right now is wait and give my baby a chance to come when ready before making rash decisions. If I have waited 38 weeks for him i can surely do another 2 weeks!

I must say, I am in a very good situation at the moment, my husband and I are building a house that will be ready in March next year so we are currently living with my parents and it has been such a blessing. My mother has literally done everything for me since the pain became so bad. She cleans my bathroom, does all our washing, cooks every night and drives me to every drs appointment - it is too good to be true!! I know i am very lucky so I have every reason to wait for my due date. I honestly don't know what I would have done without my mother.

I have started to drink rasberry leaf tea and might consider the other natural induction methods you mentioned - anything is worth a try!

Does anyone know if it is possible to have a natural birth with PSD - my dr said she recommends an epidural because I wouldn't cope without it - she said "labour sucks" and everyone should have an epidural...

I am sure there will be a few people to have a go at that comment!! #-o
Cindy

Wow..... I'm wondering if your OB is deliberately trying to frighten you or something like that? I hope that's not the case as it's certainly not their role to do any such thing - they should be there to support and inform you - not frighten the daylights out of you!

Many people have successfully given birth without epidurals and I can think of numerous BB members as shining examples! Unfortunately I'm not one of them (having had an epidural myself) but I'm sure a few of them will post and share their positive experiences with you!

I think it's fantastic that you have had so much support from your Mum too. That must be wonderful and it ensures that you are getting as much rest as you need in preparation for the big day ahead of you!

Good luck Cindy......you will be fine!

Hi Cindy,
I'm all for encouraging you to try for a vaginal birth, and I totally disagree with your ob saying that everyone should have an epidural - that's one of the silliest things I've heard. You may decide during labour that it is an option you want to take, but there is no reason that you NEED one unless you want it! I was determined not to have an epidural for my third child, because I was convinced that giving birth on my back led to the ligament issues I had with my hips post-birth.

Having said that, I ended up needing a c-section in that situation, if you are interested in reading about how UN-scary it all was, here's the link in Caesarian Chatter.
https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...13528&start=90

Don't let anyone else's opinions influence what YOU want to do,

Kerrie

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my dr said she recommends an epidural because I wouldn't cope without it - she said "labour sucks" and everyone should have an epidural...

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Time to get a new doctor!!!! LOL!!!! How completely uninspiring - fear in labour is such a modern day epidemic and it's not going to get any better with medical people like that. I'd love to tell her to research the effects of an epidural on the mother and baby, it's certainly not something that one should consider as a great routine option!

Sure people can choose to have one if they want to, but you need to be informed and you don't need to be fearful from the word go - or you most certainly will end up with anxiety in labour, resulting in it slowing or stopping, requiring speeding up, requiring pain relief, requiring intervention... it's called the cascade of interventions!

You might like to offer her this, from one GP to another: https://www.bellybelly.com.au/birth/...als-real-risks :)

Well part of me agrees with your dr - labour did suck, and it hurt, and the epidural for me just ended up happening, despite the fact I wanted a completely natural birth! Maybe next time....

I had alot of anxiety about my labour from about 34 weeks I think, to the point I was having panic attacks and couldn't sleep. It was just horrible, and one of the scariest things ever.

From my experience, you just have to let go, and know you'll do it, and while its great having a supportive OB, many of us who go through the public system dont have that luxury (of choosing I mean) so we go with what we get.

My experience with the drs and midwives during my labour was great, and several times we laughed through it. I was actually told off for laughing when the forceps were being inserted!! Ouch!

No matter how our birth experiences end up, they should be positive in our minds, regardless of how they were planned. If you end up having a c/s, that isnt failure. Its just how it worked out. So hopefully you can do some of the things that the others have suggested here for you condition, and it will make a difference to you. But if it doesn;t, and in a coupl eof weeks time you still have a healthy baby regardless of the birthing process, thats OK too. There is enough to worry about getting your bundle home and the following months, that you should try to go with the flow as much as possible now.

Best wishes - I hope it all turns out the way you want it to!

Fi

Well siad Fi! I guess we do tend to get hung up with the birth itself and forget that the main thing is that baby and mum both come through safely and are healthy... in the end that's really all that matters!

Cindy - i hope you are able to have the labour you want. i was due one day before you, and had to have a c/section for other reasons. emma actually decided to come early anyway though. i still had the c/section but an emergency one. so i can only give you my opinion based on that. all i will say is that if the end result is a happy and healthy mum and bub, that is the most important thing.

from my experience, the spinal block is nothing to be frightened of. it really isnt bad at all. try to be positive about it. i hope you do get to give birth naturally if it is your preference, but do remember that you will be fine either way.

all the best - how exciting - you will be meeting your bub before you know it!!!

I absolutely agree with you girls. But I also think OB's need to give women the option to *try* something if they want to. There is no harm in trying for spontaneous labour or (if need beed) induced labour and seeing how it goes. Thats what I plan on doing, and as it will be a VBAC if I do end up with another C/S thats fine too (and definitely NOT a failure as Fi said) at least I've tried to do it the way I wanted first iykwim. There is nothing wrong with trying to avoid a c/s as is there nothing wrong to go for a planned c/s. My issue is with the way a Dr tries to pressure or scare their patient into either way. I'd be just as upset with an OB who tried to scare a woman out of a c/s when it was her educated and informed decision to have one.

Anyway thats just my 2c.

*hugs*
Cailin

I agree with everyone, but its alot easier to say in hindisght isn't it? Pretty bloody scary first time around...... Especially when there is a whole mixed feel to c/s. I was kinda offered one, when they wheeled me to surgery to do a forceps delivery, I was told that the next option would be a c/s if forceps didn't work. Thats when I decided straight out to go with the forceps, and to do everything I could to make them work, cause even though forceps weren't my first choice, they were definitly better than a c/s in my book. (I wanted to be playing netball asap after the birth)
I hadn't thought I would need either. And I reckon I still feel like a bit of a failure for not having the natural birth I wanted, but at some point we have to get over it, and move on. There are so many more issues in motherhood than being hung up on the birth.

Like dealing with a cranky baby, who hasn't slept this afternoon, wont eat her dinner (so is covered head to toe in pumpkin goo.....) and is crying with her dad next door. And there is a party over the road where we were until she cracked it, and becasue we haven't got baby sitters, we had to come home, and we haven't got dinner organised, am starving.... and the meal over the road was GREAT, and I really want to go over and ask for a doggy bag, but thats probably rude..... I could go on. At times liek this I dont think about the birth at all - more the conception and how to prevent another one!! LOL. The joy of motherhood!!!

Fi :D

Hi Cindy,

Just wanted to let you know that my son never engaged at all up until I went into labour. I remember going to my 39wk appt and the midwife telling me that because he wasn't engaged that I would be overdue and would probably need an induction. Needless to say the very next day my waters broke, and he was born vaginally the morning after. So the fact the he wasn't engaged beforehand didn't make any difference to my ability to birth him...

I agree with what everyone else has said as well... you have every right to make choices and take charge of your own birth...
All the best Cindy, and let us know how everything goes!!

Thanks everyone for all your words of encouragement and support, this is a fantastic website and I have found much comfort here.

I am patiently awaiting my due date and will definately let you all know how things turn out.

The best thing for me to remember from all of your comments and advice is that as long as the outcome is a healthy baby and safe delivery that is all that matters! I am sweeping aside my fears and just thinking about meeting my darling little baby - I am so excited to see that little face everything else falls by the wayside.

Thanks again everyone !!!!
Good luck to you all too.
Cindy
xxxx

good on you Cindy, that is the best outlook to have!

Hi Cindy,
I'm Dee, and I can sympathise with you as I suffer with Pubic, Syphasis Dysplasia, with each of my pregnancies. It is excruiatingly painful isn't it? Now this is my personal opinion, and remembering that everyone is different. I think this seems to be more of a convenience to the Dr. In all of my pregnancies, I have carried OP and none of my babies have engaged until I was well into labour. I have birthed them all vaginally with no stitches. Why not see the pregnancy through to forty weeks and see what your body does. Unless of course there is some medical reason for the baby to be born early. Just my 2 cents on the issue. Remember we are Women and therefore it is our perogative to change our minds. :)
Ta Dee

Hi Dee
Thanks for your post, interesting. I agree it is awfully painful and depressing, can't believe you had to deal with it more than once, I fully expect it to happen again if I get pregnant again though.

I am 40 weeks in 2 days and was hoping the baby engages soon. I have an ob appointment the day after my due date, if baby isn't engaged I was going to book a c/s for a few days later because I can't stand the pain and am scared to go through a long painful labour only to end up with a c/s anyway.
I will let nature take its course if I go into labour on my own but am reluctant to be induced when my dr says the baby seems big and not engaged. Can you tell me if you went into labour naturally when your babies engaged or were you induced?

Do you think I should just give an induction a go first before booking a c/s? If I do try induction I would get the epidural for sure. Would love to know more about your experience if you don't mind sharing?
Thanks so much
Cindy

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Hi Dee
Thanks for your post, interesting. I agree it is awfully painful and depressing, can't believe you had to deal with it more than once, I fully expect it to happen again if I get pregnant again though.

I am 40 weeks in 2 days and was hoping the baby engages soon. I have an ob appointment the day after my due date, if baby isn't engaged I was going to book a c/s for a few days later because I can't stand the pain and am scared to go through a long painful labour only to end up with a c/s anyway.
I will let nature take its course if I go into labour on my own but am reluctant to be induced when my dr says the baby seems big and not engaged. Can you tell me if you went into labour naturally when your babies engaged or were you induced?

Do you think I should just give an induction a go first before booking a c/s? If I do try induction I would get the epidural for sure. Would love to know more about your experience if you don't mind sharing?
Thanks so much
Cindy

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Hi Cindy, The first thing you have to remember is, it is your body, your pregnancy and your baby. Everyone is different. I have had four totally different labours, but the good news is they all ended the same, with a beautiful little baby in my arms. Personally and I am getting on my soap box here but I think Dr's particularly busy city Dr's are to quick to step in with the unnecessary medical intervention. and can easily scare their clients into doing what is more convenient for them. Although, I will not knock individuals for their birthing choice. I am against unnessary planned C/S based solely on convenience and unsubstantiated fears. like risking pelvic floor stability. (If you do your exercises everything will return to normal. I have had four children and I don't pee when I laugh.) I think Dr's are too scared of being sued that they really won't let patients opt for a natural birthing experience. Anyway I'll get down now.

With my first DD I went into labour naturally at about 8 am, went to the hospital at 6.30pm and due to other pregnancy related reasons they kept me in, I wasn't progressing like they wanted and the midwife was amazed that the baby was engaged yet. Actually she very condescendingly said" Your baby hasn't even engaged yet you probably actually have weeks to go, are you sure about your dates? Yeahhhh, Of Course I am. So at about 9.30pm they broke my waters and guided bubby down, it took until midnight before I wanted to push and then it took another 3 hours to push her out. but no stitches, but way to many drugs.
With my #2&3 births I opted for the gels at 40+6 days to ripen my cervix and 40wks for #4 but in all pregs none of my babies engaged until my waters broke. Yes there are some risks and they might have to do an E C/S but there are risks in every pregnancy.
I really think you should do what makes you feel comfortable. It is your choice. I am very happy with my choices. recovery after C/S tan take many weeks whereas after Vag Birth recovery is alot quicker, less complicated.

My birth stories are long and many lol they were not all good, #3 was the best quite easy really. My 1st labour lasted over fifteen hours, 2nd 10hours third was really only anhour and my forth (when they broke my waters about 45min of real pain.
Because I carry OP I labour in my back and it is excruiating. I perfer being on all fours or proped on a bean bag so that my legs were positioned right with out too much pain in the groin and less pressure. It is way easier to birth with gravity then against it. lol. I didn't have huge babies though (all between 7 lb 6 and 8 lb 10) and if your baby is going to be huge like 10 pounds or something then I would probably have a C/S too.

I don't use any drugs not since my first birth, although I have my little friend "Nitrous" next to me just in case I change my mind. and I would never have and epidural. Seen and heard too many horror stories.
BUT this is only my personal opinion and choices I have made for myself.
I have found that your body really knows what it is doing and it drives you in the end. I use a zoning technique I guess similar to meditation and I just concentrate on breathing and relaxing my birth bits and let my body pass the baby out to me. I won't say It won't hurt, because it will, really really hurt but if you stay in control and relax and breath it will happen a little easier. and the pain of child birth will just be a distant memory when it's all over.
Good luck in your decision what ever you decide. No regrets. And importantly have a birth plan for all the situations, give it to your midwife
now is the time to think about and put down on paper exactly what your wishes are. and most importantly,write on it - It is a Women's perogative to change her mind.

Welcome to motherhood
Ta Dee

Hi Cindy,

I had PSD with my last 2 pregnancies. (Very ouch!)
My last baby's head wasn't engaged until I went into labour (naturally). He was born on his due date.. after less than an hour of labour. No epi, no gas, nothing. In fact, he was born at home. He was also 10lbs 3oz. ;)

You CAN do this without the intervention of your OB, and you don't 'have' to have an epi if you don't want one.

Thanks to everyone for your responses.

On 26 October at 8.02pm after 2 nights of contractions, baby in posterior position and 5 hours of induction that did not progress, I gave birth to Alexander by emergency C section.

Both baby and myself are safe and healthy and very happy and relieved it is all over! Alexander weighed 4.390 kilos and was 50 cm.

Cindy
x

Congratulations, Cindy! A big welcome to Alexander!!

Congratulations Cindy.
Welcome Alexander :)

Love the name you have picked.

Cindy
It is not unusual for the baby not to be engaged until you are in established labour. Your obs should know this and I dont know what he/she is thinking about. Dont rush into a C/section, give mother nature a chance.

Alan (Midwife)

Congratulations Cindy on the birth of Alexander!!! :confetti:

Oops I did not read all the posts

:-k

Alan (Midwife)

Congratulations Cindy \:D/