Urgent help with settling 5 week old

The first few weeks at home withmy little man were good, and he slept regularly during the night., but now it is absolutely crazy. He just wont sleep during the day unless he is carried or in the baby bjorn. Every time he falls asleep, and I put him in his basinet to sleep, he wakes up screaming. If I don?t pick him up, he will just keep screaming. He is only sleeping 1- 1/2 hours during the day, which is making me ( and him) absolutely exhausted. He was a good sleeper at night, normally going to sleep abut 9pm sometimes even 7pm. Waking once for a feed, then going back to sleep until 5- 6am.

Last night though he decided that although he had only slept for a total of 1 hour during the day, he would finally go to sleep at 11pm, wake for feed at 4am, then not go back to sleep until much settling at 5.30am for 1 hour.

Does anyone have any suggestions, as I am now so tired that I feel like I have the flu. I have tried patting him in his basinet, rocking it, singing, and the only thing that seems to work is me picking him up, and he will then fall straight back to sleep. I can tell he is tired, as he is very grumpy now. I am letting him sleep in the baby bjorn at the moment, just so he can get some rest, but this isn?t really a great solution, especially as he gets bigger, I just wont be able to carry him.

Hi EJE- Its an aweful situation.. new baby and no sleep... Have you tried using your pram... I used my parm with my son when he wouldnt sleep in the bassinette... The rocking in the pram really helped.. Even going for a walk by the time i would get home he was asleep and i got to rest up... Once he's asleep in the pram i would just leave him in there.. My son was also used to being carried... Its one thing you have to stop... The warmth and the beating of your heart is like a reminder of the comfort he had in your tummy... Try wrapping him in a light sheet or muslim for comfort.. i also tryed a small clock under the mattress... kindof like the same beating of your heart.... Good luck

Big :hug: I know all too well how horrible it is with a newborn who decides not to sleep, it is really tough, I felt like I was losing the plot. Have you tried a swing? We got a fisher price one and the first time I put DS in it he slept for 3 hours!, I was so happy I cried. From memory it cost about $170 and it is the best $170 I have ever spent. Now at nearly 4 months he still goes in it for his morning sleep while I have a cuppa.

Spring xx

Aww...you poor thing, I know exactly how you feel! My first DS would do the same thing and would only sleep in my arms. His problem was pain, we discovered when he was 10 weeks of age that he had a dislocated right shoulder from birth (a paediatric chiropracter found it). I'm not saying this is your problem, just that I understand your frustration as I had 8 weeks of having a baby who would only sleep if I held him or wore him in a Baby Bjorn. The thing that ended up being our lifesaver was an Amby baby hammock. He loved the feeling of being snugged in and the motion of the hammock (we would gently bounce him in it). It was the only thing that worked for us. You can hire them if you wanted to try one out.

Other ideas...do you wrap him? Babies feel more secure when they are swaddled. If he is crying in the cot you can say "shhhh" in his ear quite loudly, this tends to settle bubs because it sounds similar to noises they heard in the womb. I pat my youngest DS on the chest and hold a dummy in his mouth and that helps him settle. Every baby is different and it is just a matter of finding what works for them.

Other than that, it sounds like you have tried all the settling methods I would have suggested. Hopefully you will find that magic solution soon. :hug:

Hi EJE,

My Luke went through the same thing at about 4 weeks. He wouldn't sleep much and it was taking me an hour to get him to sleep, in my arms. All I can say is that he did grow out of it and just do what you have to do, to get through it. The baby bjorn is great, going for a walk etc. Just try and keep sane, I was in tears most days thinking I can't go through this everyday, thank goodness he grew out of it and I'm sure your Luke will too.

take care and look after yourself
xxxx

Going to a paediatric Chiro as Trish mentioned was also a lifesaver us. We went to the Chiro when DS was 6 weeks and his pelvis was out (I had a very fast a furious labour). He changed overnight after seeing the chiro.

HTH

Spring

Spring_Angel - We had a new baby after visiting the chiro too. Thank goodness for chiros I tell you!

I agree Trish, DS fell asleep during the first treatment and I almost suffocated the Chiro with the biggest cuddle. I'm sure he thought I was loopy.

Worth a try EJE, Chiro's don't work for everyone but hopefully it helps you.

Hi EJE

Is he having play time? Around that age they start changing from a feed - sleep pattern to a feed - play - sleep pattern. If he's being carried, he will go to sleep because of the motion but maybe he then wakes up again because he's not really tired.

If it's any consolation, my baby stayed up till 1am and often only did 1-2 hours naps during the day but I didn't worry too much because she wasn't grizzly. I did become an expert on spotting her sleepy signs (mainly not wanting to hold eye contact) and had to perservere with the settling. I tried pretty damned hard to only ever rock her into a relaxed/light sleep rather than a proper sleep and sometimes I would have to go back 3 or 4 times until she finally got the idea. Sometimes she did; other times she just ended up looking more awake so then I would get her up figuring I'd just misread her signs. After a while, she got it all figured out and I'm sure your baby will too.

You could also try putting one of your worn t-shirts in the bassinette - he may just be missing mummy. I've had to do this recently with my 4 month old who suddenly started waking up at night again and it's worked a treat.

Hang in there, it will all work out. It's trial and error for all of us.

Hey EJE,
I totally understand. Caden started out as such a good sleeper then ended up not being able to get to sleep unless in my arms, which was fine cos then I would put him down and get on with things. But then things got worse where he would wake up and cry when I put him down, so the only way he got to sleep was when I carried him all day. Again, that is fine until it was 44 degrees, and I just couldn't hold on to him. I realised something had to give!

I had a day stay at a place here called Ngala, where they taught us how to settle Caden to sleep, and to teach him how to settle himself, so every time he woke up after a sleep cycle (about 30 minutes for him) he could settle himself off to sleep.

It is age-appropriate though, they said they wouldn't do it as much with a tiny bub, but at 5 weeks, it might be worth giving it a go, or calling Ngala (I am sure you can call from other states) and asking them what is appropriate to teach your bub to self settle. They also have a website that has some info (it is not-for-profit so I hope it is ok to mention it here).

Good luck!

I remember the 5-6 weeks mark being particularly cranky, growth spurt kind of time, for us it was much worse then the 3 week growth spurt. Maybe its somthing like that?

have/would you consider using a less rigid sling (like a ring sling, babsling, hug a bub) and letting him sleep in there during the day if that helps? It would enable his weight to be far more evenly distributed (esp the HAB) and he'd feela lot less heavy.

EJE

I can totally relate to what you are going through. My DS is 9 weeks and we are still struggling with day sleeps. I have come to realise the DS is a catnapper, that is has short day sleeps and longer sleeps in the evening. As long as I expect this then I can accept it and know how to handle it.

I use the settling method Trish mentioned. I also follow the feed - play - sleep cycle. It is really important to watch for the tired signs (rubbing eyes, not being easily distracted, jerky movements etc).

One thing I am told tho is just when you get into a routine it will all change. Just one of the joys of having a baby.

It will get better.

You're right Saffi - they do change. Just when I thought I had Katrina all sussed out she changed from a feed - play - sleep pattern to a feed - play - feed - sleep pattern. Then when I'd got that down pat, she changed back again. So it's really important to get to know their signs because then you can adapt accordingly. If you're just going by the clock or what they did last week rather than how they seem right now, it's harder to figure out what's going on and everyone ends up frustrated (and tired).

Hey EJE

Hope things are going a little better.

5 weeks is a 'growth spurt' time...and as a result you get a baby that is a little more unsettled and grumpy.

A 'growth spurt' is not just physical but mental. The world is opening up to them a bit more (well...their senses are taking more of it in)...and initially that it is a bit scary for them...and they need lots of comforting.

The good news is...IT WILL PASS!!! And soon your little one will settle again (until the next growth spurt!). Do what you need to do to help him sleep! Don't worry about starting bad habits...he is too young to learn them yet! You need to worry about that once he is over 6 months. Just aim to get through a day at a time at the moment.

One thing to watch out for is that your little one is not getting too over tired. Ideally, his awake time should only be about 1-1.5 hours in between feeds. I know with Felix, we were initially keeping him awake longer...and the more tired he got, the more he didn't sleep!

Maybe also slightly raise the bassinette...put a towel under the mattress so that if he has a little bit of reflux when he's lying down, it won't be so bad.

Just remember...it will get easier! Take care!

I know how frustrating a crying baby can be ..no matter how old they are! I use to give DD play time in between each feed and sleep. It was only very short and she wasnt very interested in any of the things i put in front of her but i think even her looking at things made her eyes very tired. Tummy time is pretty tiring too...have you tried this? I use to do it on our bed.. My DD refused the dummy so i wrapped her and then rocked her until her eyes began to drop (not till she was fast asleep) then i put her in her bassinet and this was usually enough ans she would go off to sleep.
Good Luck!!

We found that with DS that most of his problems came from wind. If he didn't have every tiny bubble burped up, he'd cry. Our saviour was Infacol. We'd give him that before each feed and he'd burp up a storm. Problem solved.

The other thing I would suggest is maybe reflux? If he sleeps when he's upright, it may be because it keeps the acid down? Might be worth investigating?

HTH

Celsie. xoxox

I just wanted to say... WOW! sleeping so well at 5 weeks of age!!!!!
My little man used to wake every 2 hours every night for a feed in the early weeks. He wasn't much of a day napper either. It DOES get better! My man only wakes once a night for a feed now!
You have been very lucky to have such a great sleeper up till this point! It will pass. The slings are a great idea. DS loved his!

Good luck:)

hi,

i would lay down on the bed or couch and or lay then on my chest to hear my heart beating and pad them on the bum, this worked great sometimes the johnsons and johnsons aromatherapy bath stuff works well. a nice bath and then a massage followed by a feed.

also try maybe some soft music in the bedroom or even a clock in the cot tick tock tick tock this worked a treat like the heart beating....if all else failed i would go for a walk or a drive and that worked after exhausting all avenues as you have.

Hi everyone

Thanks for all your wonderful advice. I have now put to use all of your suggestions, and some of them have worked!! I think though that maybe it was a combination of a 6 week growth spurt, weather of 30 to 41 degrees for a week, and reflux that made him so unsettled. The last few days he has been much better. We have 2 more 40 degree days coming up, which I am not looking forward too, particulary as we have to go in the car for my 6 week check up with the obgyn. He just seems to get so hot in his car seat, no matter how high we have the air con on. Does anyone have any suggestions on this?

I don't have any suggestions myself but will be watching for any answers as DS ends up soaking wet in his, and we don't have the heat you are having. That must be horrid.

Good luck for the upcoming hot weather. Hope your little man deals with it ok.

Hey EJE, I've been wondering how you've been going!

As you know, my DS was the same for the first 3 weeks but he's just getting better and better. Still not perfect during the day, but we're getting there.

We've had some really hot, humid days too and it's pretty rough on the bubs, especially when they are wrapped to sleep etc.

DS is a very hot and sweaty bub and most of his 9 weeks have been spent in a nappy and singlet or just a nappy! All those cute clothes going to waste...

I think if you're going to be in the car for a while, put the AC on and strip him down to his nappy if need be. You can always dress him again before you get him out if you really need to.

EJE - my DS is a hot bub too and used to be very hot in his carseat. We put a thickish wrap over the window to stop all of the sunlight coming though (even though we have really dark window tinting). Seems to have helped a lot.

Speaking of window tinting, it helps a lot to keep the car cool. So worth the investment to keep the little one cool.

HTH

Celsie. xoxox

That's a great idea actually Celsie.

You can also get those window sox for the back windows too. Reminds me I should probably dig ours out and put them on, haven't used them since DD was a bit older.

I know some people don't like them because they do limit your vision through the back windows, but I didn't find them too bad.

EJE. glad you got things sorted out.
I just wanted to say that a swing was a life savor in our house as well.
ANd also, dont worry about bad habits. Until Aiden was about 8weeks old, the only way i could get him to sleep at night was with me sitting him, and him laying on my chest. They are to little to form bad habits like that, to think logically about their actions and reactions.
All they know really is happy and sad. If they are sad, then we need to make them happy/settle them, and i just did what it took at the time. Now, Aiden is generally a good sleeper, and settles well on his own.

Debbie- loved your summary about them really just knowing happy and sad at this stage. Made me smile. Was a great description of how babies are, and that is really going to help me when I am settling him. Look forward though to my little man settling more and more on his own like your Aiden.

Celsie- Thanks for the window suggestion- will definately use it on Friday when we have to venture our in 40 degree heat to visit the doctor.

Willow- good idea about just putting him in the car in just his nappy. I am sure that is all he will end up wearing for the next few days whilst it is unbearably hot.
We have also decided that we are going to pay the mega bucks in costs to park in an undecover park on Friday ( rather than on the street for free) so that the car will stay that little bit cooler. When we get back to the car I am going to sit an icepack in DS's car seat for a few minutes to cool it down a bit. Other than that I think he my just have to end up a little sweaty, and have a few extra breast feeds to combat the heat fromthe car seat.