SCARED

Hi Girls

I am currently 39 weeks and this is my first baby. I am a little scared about the whole birth thing. I am not so much scared of giving birth (ok maybe a little) but more so of what if my waters break and I don't know or what if I get a show and don't realise. I guess my concern is when do I go to the hospital etc. I went to ante natal classe but was greatly dissapointed, I didn't find them informative at all. My doc says you will know.
Any advice greatly appreciated from you girls who have done this before.

Thanks
Jules

Jules,

Most in-hospital ante-natal classes leave alot to be desired and don't cover much really. Yeah here's labour and your pain relief options - but nothing about coping with the contractions and how your body really works in a normal physiological labour. Perhaps it's because it's not what the general public want these days?!

Anyways, labour can be an anxious time especially for the first time mum, but be reassured, birthing is a very instinctive process and your body will take over - your brain will switch to your primative brain stem (this is why when labouring women 'zone out' or aren't coherent) this is because the body is doing what it needs to do. Listen to your body, move around between contractions, preferably upright, leaning forward for the contractions (uterus tilts forwards during contractions) and try to ride the labour - surrender to it and try to let it do it's thing. Some women find it helpful to imagine the uterus as separate to their body, working hard.

As for your water breaking - most hospitals have a policy of letting you go 24-48 hours after your water has broken in case of infection. But if you go in too early, they may try and induce you to get labour going faster which is not ideal unless you have had a particularly long labour or your midwife/Ob feels it is unsafe. Normally contractions take a while to get started after the water has broken as the baby comes down on your cervix and puts pressure on it to dilate - it no longer has that cushion of the bag of waters. Only a small percent of women find their labour starts with the waters breaking though - it is normal for it to break in early second stage (pushing) but it seems to be something all the medical people like to do these days - water not broken? Let's break it! It makes things happen faster but also the contractions will often be harder too once the water has broken.

I'm sure you'll be fine - hopefully you have a good support team around you so you can relax a little and enjoy this birth - but either way you'll be amazed at what your body is capable of! There are lots of great articles on the main site to help you and will help to fill the gaps so it's a great idea to get reading if you want to know more: www.bellybelly.com.au/birth including an article on the top 12 fears in labour. All the best for a wonderful birth :)

Don't be concerned about waiting for your waters to break. Mine never broke. The Dr broke them right before birth. If you're unsure just keep ringing the hospital. Don't be afraid to go in if you think you're in labour. It is very very rare for a child to be born on the way or at home, so chances are highly likely that you'll know and you'll be at hospital!! Just trust nature, and Im sure you'll know when the time is right.
As for birth I was scared to death!! Just be open to anything and willing to try anything (from positions, baths, pain relief etc). Much better to go in with an open mind. Good luck and you'll be fine xoxo

Thank you both for your replies. It has helped alot, I will read the article and see how I go.

Jules

Great advice Jillian :)

If labour starts at night, opt for sleep and rest over being upright and active if you can - you'll need all your energy for labour. Get upright and active during the day instead.

Also in early labour - don't go for those *huge* walks to get things moving - you'll just tire yourself out when you need to conserve all the energy you can for later!

Thanks again. yes I have been told to try and stay home as long as possible, I will have my mum and DH so I should be fine. I have told my mum and hubbie what I want in relation to drugs, and see how I go. I have been told by many women that staying upright is best as gravity also assists the birth. Now all I need to do is remember this great advice. I may print this page out and put in my bag. :D

Jules

Jillian I am actually going to Logan as I live at Daisy Hill so it is only 5 min away. I have had to go into the birth suites and spend a night due to vomiting and then dehydration and found the midwives excellent, the doctors not so great but midwives excellent, I am also doing shared care.

Jules

I've had two of my boys at Logan and will be having this one there as well. Your right the midwifives there are excellent and will listen to you when you ring them about any little thing you have on your mind so don't worry everything will be fine.

Good luck Jules, you'll be just fine sweety.... O:)

Thanks to all of you, I am sure I will be ok just getting a little anxious, my doc is sending me for a scan on Friday to see how big the baby is?? That is also worrying me as what if it is too big?? I have only just started getting scared. Your support is great.

Jules

I think also for the first time, women don't want to stay home too long as they don't know how long their labours are going to be. For me contractions came on at 11pm and I was in hospital by 2am. I was 5cm by this time and they gave me the epidural I wanted, so Im glad I didn't stay home longer!! Im one of those people who prefer have someone around who knows what they're doing!!
Saying that, as it's my second time, I will probably stay home longer this time. As I don't want an epidural if possible, it wont' be a concern for me to get there for that reason.

Jules,

Some Obs do this and I don't understand why - it just adds extra fear into women who freak out thinking they are going to have a big baby. Unless he thinks something is seriously wrong (which he would have told you) don't buy into fear. Our bodies were born to birth babies. Unless you have a previous injury to your pelvis, there should be no reason that the baby wont fit through and if you stay active and upright, using gravity as much as possible, you will be fine. Also being upright helps with even distribution of weight from the head and you are less likely to tear than lying down or reclining.

I know plenty of women who have birthed 10-11lbs babies - with no tearing!!! It's amazing what our bodies are capable of.

First time mums are often more nervous about letting a professional birth attendant into their life, however I wish I could explain how much of a benefit they can be. But often it's not until we have had our first that we can see how much they can really compliment the birth team.

According to ten studies from around the world where an experienced birth support person was present:

* The use of pain relief was reduced by 31%
* The use of oxytocin to stimulate labour was reduced by 50%
* Forceps reduced by 34%
* Caesareans reduced by 45%

That's some amazing stats. And that's not even mentioning how that experienced help assists the mother mentally and psychologically for the birth.

I know it did make me worry more and also think OMG how big is it as I know women who have given birth to 10 pound babies and were fine. So I think I will just go with the flow and do as the midwives tell me when the time comes. Luckily I am not stubborn so I will be open to all suggestions.

Jules - please let us know how you go. I'm currently 32ks pregnant with my 1st and I live at Marsden. After a series of stuff-ups, I should hear back today whether I am booked in at the Mater or whether it will now be the Logan Hospital.

You've managed to make me feel relieved hearing how good the midwives at the Logan are.

Beck

Logan mid wives really are great, the birthing suites are also excellent, I am not worried about them just the doctors, are you doing shared care? If so Logan will be fine, but I iwill keep you updated as to how I go.

Jules

Jules - I was supposed to be doing shared care between my GP & the Mater. Unfortunately although we sent in the right paperwork, they've now lost my information (referrals & computer details) three times and I have never been even given an appointment!

Regardless, my GP is sorting it out....the Mater was ringing her back today and she refaxed referrals to both the Mater & Logan yesterday. I'm not sure I even want to go to the Mater now after everything. I used to live close to that hospital but moved in July.

Perhaps this is just a hint that I'm meant to go to the Logan afterall. My Mum's labours were all quick so maybe it's much better only having to travel 10mins to get to the hospital!

Thank you sooo much for the info though. Can't to wait how your experience is! :) If you don't go into labour before, best of luck with your U/S on Friday!

Thanks Beck I am sure all will work out for the best for you and I will post tomorrow night.

Jules

Jules, the best advice I can personally give is do what your body tells you. I was never a big believer in that kind of stuff, but when I had Aidan, I 'just knew' how I was progressing and I only had 1 internal at the very start after I was induced. The midwife trusted my instinct on my own body of knowing when to push, when a contraction was coming, when it was a false alarm etc etc. At one stage towards the end I even remember telling the midwife 'I'm going to do a poo, just a little one' and she said 'no, that is probably the feeling of the baby' and I was adamant, 'no, I can feel a poo coming', and then she said 'oh yes, your right, just a little poo!' (sorry if TMI). I pushed Aidan out, he was 9pounds9ounces and had gas and pethadine for pain relief, and no help from forceps or vaccuum.

Good luck, you have made a great start by listening to other stories and thinking of how you will approach it, so I just know you will do a wonderful job!

Well girls went and had my scan today and saw my doctor, I am from my 19 week scan 37 weeks pregnant, but from the scan today they get me at 39weeks. They said the baby's head is 9.4cm and the length from top of head to bottom is 34cm. So Logan hospital will not see me till 4/11 but my doc says that is too far away as the head is already 9.4cm. Now I am worried....

Any advice???

Julexs

So they put you at measuring 39wks but they won't induce you for another 10 days?

*sends labour vibes Jules' way*

Beck

No logan will not induce me until the 11/11.... But yes send me the vibes I need them. Logan go from your 19 week scan so that is now inacurate??

Anyway hopefully will happen soon.

Jules

Well the Logan going from my 19wk scan (well, actually I got it done at 22wks because the first one was cruddy) then they'll accept my earlier date of 14/12 rather than my 9wk one which said the 21/12.

Not inducing you until 11/11? If you're measuring 39wks, that means you're going to be equivilant of like 42wks+ before they'll even consider inducing you.

Any chance you like a good hot beef vindaloo curry?

LOL Beck I might give that a go, my doc said he will sort it next Thursday so I will see how that goes..

Good to see they taking your earlier date, gives me hope.

Jules

*L* There's an Indian place across from Grand Plaza that makes great curry. My DH loved their vindoloo and their kormas & butter chicken are great too.

*sends more labour vibes*

That's the problem with scans guys - late scans especially because ultrasound is based on mathematics and figures - in late scans your baby's characterisitics and genes take over so of course not every baby is going to be what the ultrasound says is normal... some are going to be smaller and some bigger based on their own individual selves! Ultrasound is also notorious for being innaccurate... I mean if it was so accurate, then wouldn't baby be born on the due date it gives us? Another example of the body doing what it needs to do based on it's own needs and timeline... last thing you need is an Ob to freak you out who I am sure would be delighted to have a more convenient, induced birth for his appointment books... but baby will come when he/she is ready, giving baby extra time I think is a good thing - you may even find bubs comes earlier than later anyway...

Your baby's head wont have a massive growth spurt between now and then, especially the head - it wont put loads of centimetres on and keep going, it will eventually slow. Ultrasound is not so great for freaking women out and making them panic about baby's size and other things. You might remember *Yvette* who had twins was told one twin was nine pounds... well one baby born at 5lbs and the other 6lbs... and that's a very common story. Plenty of mums are induced because their Obs think they look huge only to have a small baby.

I understand being a first time mum you are very fearful but you need some positive and encouraging people around you right now. You need people to help you believe in yourself and your ability to birth this baby because you CAN do it - this is what we are born to do - our pelvises were made the right size to do it and with some understanding midwives, they will be able to help you push slowly during crowning so you don't tear - also birthing upright will help even weight distribution of the head - I know mums birthing upright with 10-11lb babies and they never even tore.

It seems from your post you are looking for reassurance and confidence, I really hope that you can get some good support around you, as you'll need some good reassurance for the birth.

We'll do the best we can of course, but please, don't let anyone scare you about the size of this baby or your ability to birth him or her. Read some positive books, like Janet Balaskas, "New Active Birth" - I found this book to be very inspirational and morale boosting. Help youself do this!

Thanks for that, my mum is telling me not to worry she says with my hips I would be able to deliver a 13 pounder :D

I know the baby will come when it is ready and all will be fine. Just nervous, at the end of the day I know I WILL be able to do this!!!!

Jules

I've just finished reading this thread... such excellent advice! Wow I wish I'd been able to read it before having my first labour experience. I was terrified too and didn't know what to expect and like Kelly said the antenatal classes don't tell you what you need to know, only what you think you need to know... hmmm, that might not make much sense but the advice about trusting in your body IS the best advice. I read somewhere about visualising a "skivvy" if you're fearful about how the baby will manage to come out without tearing. I read that recently and just know that I'm going to incorporate that into my next labour. I also loved that idea about printing out this page and packing it into your hospital bag! LOL I know with my 20 hour labours this would come in very handy... I'd love to have a sheet of Inspirational Thoughts For Labour! Just short oneliners like "if women in 3rd world countries can do this in rice fields than I can do it here!!!" LOL