why??? why?? why??? long .. i dont get ds !!

ok , Nixon , where do i start ...

well ive never had a 15mth old before and they are scaring the life outta me ..

he is a monster ...

he wont eat much , but then whinges and whinges when he sees me eating , so i give him my food and he just picks a bit of it and throws it on the floor ... and spoon feeding is sooo over in this house , he is really protective of the spoon , and then if we are trying to feed him he spits or pushes the spoon away making food fling everywhere ...

he will happily eat snacks ALL day , like nothing else will comfort him but tiny amounts of food ... especially grapes ...

so im guessing its a food/highchair issue there ..

but how can i follow him around all day feeding him like a baby bird when most mornings i have my head in the loo and just need to rest ...

BUT THEN ...

come bed time comes another turn ... hes had his tea (hand fed by him..) and had a shower with me or dh ... so now comes time for lights out and a bottle of warm milk .... thats usually around 7-7.30 pm ..

we put him to bed with the milk ( yes its bad i know but if he has it on the couch or floor , hes not interested and continues to tear up the house )

so as soon as the last drop is gone ,its on ..... the SCREAMING can be heard at the end of the street ... no joke we tested it ...
and it wont stop ... so we try the dummy ... nothing still Screaming ... by this time is 8.30 and dh pulls him out of bed and the screaming stops .... never mind the fact he is so tiresd , he goes straight to his toys or whatever ... then we get fed up and take him in to our room with the aircon on to cool him down and i turn the nightlight on ... nup he sees the night light and wants to play ... so all the lights get turned off .. but he is still wide awake and playing with what ever he can find EVEN IN THE DARK ..... 10pm rolls around and we've had enough ... so the only thing left is to try to put him to bed ... SURELY he MUSt be tired NOW ?????


oh no , scream scream ...... grrrrr we are so mad by this time , dh gives him an extra bottle ...... by 11pm hes qiuet but not asleep .... wtf .. how has this child able to stay awake ... is he not human ....

finally he sleeps .... but PING 6am he is up again ... but hes not happy .. hes whinging .... nothing but a bottle can soothe him ...but even after an extra kip he is still whingy ... alll day cant stop it .. he wants up then down ... bites me and get easily upset ... we have thought it may be teething ,but we give him sm33 and if hes been whinging really bad panadol ..

so whats his motive ?????? EVERY NIGHT we have this bed time saga ... we dread bed time ...

we have tried to let him cry ...
we have tried to let him tells us when bed time is

whats next ????

its a tough one.. you caqn't reason with a 15 month old and it is so frustrating!!!

The onl thing I would try is sit in his room with him and every time he makes a sound say firmly NO bed time!! or say nothing but let him know you are there... and each night slowly move one step closer to the door..

If he has one bad night go one step closer to his cot and move back again the next night.

As for the eating. it depends whether you want him to sit and eat or not. Maybe sit him at the big table in a big chair. Let him have his own spoon ect let him feed himself. he won't starve :)

It will settle down eventually. What time does he wake from his day sleep? Maybe wake him a little earlier so he is super tired?

I can imagine just how frustrating this is. I know with my kids the later they go to bed the earlier they get up. they are always up by 6:30 exept for the odd occasion when one will sleep till 7 but still...

Good Luck..

does he still have 2 sleeps?? have you tried 1 sleep just after lunch??

maybe that can work!! hope you find a solution soon it can be so hard and worse when you have m/s!!

THis could be my story!
My DS is the same age. I think that he is overtired. In saying that, how can you get him to sleep any earlier? I don't know the answer to that.
We have resorted to leaving DS in the cot, and after making sure he is alright, I firmly but kindly tell him it is bedtime, lie down and I will see him in the morning. It works for us. He will usually howl for about 5 mins them calm down and eventually go to sleep.
Mind you this is not every night either. Probably about once a week.
DS used to be a wonderful eater, and now he just spits it out! He loves pureed fruit, so it is easier for me, as I just put a little fruit with whatever I am trying to get him to eat, and he will eat it.

he is down for his nap now .... same story ...cry cry cry ....

he only has one day sleep (if that ) sometimes he has NONE .. so we think ... yeah score he will be tired ....

mwhahahahaha ....he is evil ..

How long does he sleep for? Maybe he is overtired.. Sometimes when little ones get so tired they get wound up and can't sleep.. So the thing to do is to break that cycle which is hard and I have no suggestions except to have cuddles on your bed in the morning around 10 ish and see if he drops off. some very quiet relaxed moments and he might rest enough to fall asleep

Oh you poor thing. We have the high chair/food issue here too...so Chelsea walks round with her meals...im just over saying 'Sit down, eat you food, Chelsea stop it'..lol

Bed time sounds like hell for you. Gee thats a tough one. Normally if we give Chels her dummy and her 'Isabella' (doll) she is ok...but we have some night now and then she is exactly like Nixon....

I hope you find some answers :)

It sounds like he's just overtired all the time. My ds is a good sleeper usually, but if he misses his day sleep then he doesn't settle well at night. I like the earlier suggestion of cuddles/quiet time late morning to try and get f=him off to sleep. He "should" (and I hate saying that as what's normal anyway??) be having a good sleep of around 2 hours through the middle of the day.

Sleep does induce sleep!

hmmm ... i will try the cuddles ... but it would be me who falls asleep !! :lol: i totally get that he is over tired but there never seems a time where he is quiet or still ...its like he is on NO - DOZ

well from my previous post where i said he was in bed screaming .. well it was 11:56 when i put him to bed and around 12:30 i got into the cot .. yes i was in a cot .... and i turned on calming music and patted him ... i had the bottle in his mouth as he needed a drink and then he setteled for 2 seconds and almost fell asleep ...

so after i had had enough of the whinging i left him with the remote for the cd palyer , it kept him quiet .. and i just left him in bed .. but around 1.30 pm i had to get him out of bed cause he was starting to whinge again ...

so far today he has had NO SLEEP ... we even went for a drive to no avail ....tonight will be interesting

Good luck for tonight

Lea, what else is he eating? You say you are giving him pain relief, check the E-numbers. I used to give DS calpol for teething but it just made him hyper and he wouldn't go to bed. Now I am a cruel mummy and he has no pain relief, no e-numbers (I also have none in case of BFing), no caffeine (through bm - which means I only get a little chocolate once he's in bed)... could be something that is causing an allergy/intolerance too.

Can't really help as DS doesn't sleep too well either, but at least he's usually down for 7.30-8 and we keep him in his bed until 6.30-7am; even when he wakes up we only comfort him in his bed now. Just too much stress on us, even with doing this, and I want a child who sleeps!

What are you guys up to during the day? Do you get out and about?

My most favourite trick when there is too much energy is a good swim. I've not met a child that doesn't get ravenous and fall asleep shortly after a dip.

Good luck tonight.

Would he have a nice long deep bath with one of you about half an hour before bed. I don't know if a massage would work at that age but it works on mine when they are under 1.. Worth a try..

good Luck for tonight

sorry, i had a giggle when i read you were in the cot.....u poor thing, at a time when u need rest too....
i agree-what do u get up to in the day with him? (yr prob exhausted!!!). Can you not try some physical activities during the day, that may exhaust him by lunchtime? Should he get 1-2hr good sleep in day, maybe the night will work out better? Even grabbing a icecream contsiner of water, an old paintbrush, and get him outside painting the fence....get his little body and mind going.
I really feel for u......

Lea - :hugs: a toddler and morning sickness.... what a combo! Does Nixon eat alot of bread? most commercial bread has a preservative in it 282 which can cause the symptoms you are describing, also is his chair a high chair, or one that is attached to one of the dining room chairs. Maybe get one of those that convert to a toddler chair, that is what we have, and Aston eats at the table with us. Also, do you eat when he is eating? Like sit down for a meal "together". Eating in our house is a very social thing, where we talk, discuss the day, etc. Aston wants to sit down with us to eat, and of course beacuse of that, wants to feed himself, the latest was he had to have a fork of his own! He eats what we eat now, I had to stop mushing up his food months ago, because he refused to eat it! he wanted what we had! cheeky monkey.
Bed - aston is only having one sleep a day now - makes the afternoon evening oh so fun! whinge whinge whinge... until dinner time, then he's happy lol. then whinge whinge whinge til bathtime, then hes happy! 7 to 7-30 is bedtime, which is preceded by a couple of stories. I leave a bottle of water in the cot for him, which he will have a little before he settles, then will put his dummy in and go to sleep. this has been pretty much the routine since he was about 5mths. Having said all that, because just rereading it it all sounds grand! He has only just started to sleep through the night, and I swear I thought it was never ever going to happened, and I was going to spend the rest of my life in a permanent state of zombieness!

The other thing to maybe try if you havent already, is to put him in the cot for some chill out time, with some board books to look at. Aston since he has cut that second sleep out, stills goes in the cot for about half an hour or so, and chills out reading... lol... he is happy enough singing, talking to himself, looking at the pictures. he tells me when he has had enough.

I don't know if any of the above helps hun... just some different ideas for you to try. nothing ventured nothing gained as they say. Hang in there :hug:

Oh...

We're thinking of you... If you need someone during the day ('cept mon and wed) let me know.

Oh Lea :hug:

You have just got two really situations happening in a really unfortunate timing together! ARGH!! My only advice with the food is that if he is happy to pick all day then let him at the moment. Some kids are always like that and even though it mightn't seem like much when you add up all he has eaten it will be more than you think. At least then it's one less battle for you at the moment, you can tackle it when you feel better.

As far as bedtime, goodluck, it's tough I know, and I imagine worse when you are unwell and have MS yourself. We had a run with DD, it eventuall work itself out. But there were some nights when I would literally have to pin her to the bed next to me just to stop her moving and just let her cry. When she showed any sign of quietening of being tired I'd just try to talk to her softly about anything, make up stories talk about what we did, what we will do tomorrow. Once we had her going to sleep next to us we then had to get her to sleep alone. So it's hard, but it will get there eventually.

Goodluck, and make sure you and DH support and help out each other.

Oh boy, sounds tough!

I had lots of sleep problems with our DD around that age and ended up in a sleep school for a week, so I totally feel your pain. Anyway, reflecting back on our situation, I think the biggest thing that contributed to our miserable nights, were trying too many things to get her to sleep and therefore making it totally confusing for DD. In the end what worked was having one plan and sticking to that plan no matter what. The plan was tough in the beginning - anything will be - but by sticking to a consistent routine / plan, it will become more reassuring to bub. For us, I found consistency and reassurance were the key things she needed to be settled for sleep.....sleep affects so many things including behaviour, so you might find once the sleep is under control, the eating habits might come right.

Anyway, just sharing my experience :) Fingers crossed it gets better in the short-term for you.

rosehip : we just give him plain old panadol , which has no e numbers and i checked his teething gel too and none there either (sm33) but its not every day he gets panadol ...

lulu: we have a baby pool wich nix plays in for a good hour and plays in the yard too .. for most days we are out in the yard playing and he loves it .... but yesterday we had him in the pool twice ... and still didnt make him tired ... we alwyas try and get him out of the house becasue it does us all good ...

aussienic: the massage certinaly wont work .. i have tried many times and he just doesnt like it and wont settle for one ... a bit could work but i could try making it a bit quieter in the bath room ... i'll let you know ..


Vicky : you know , it may just be the bread .... he has toast most mornings then cheese spread on bread for lunch .... we brought bread from bakers delight yesterday .. i think i will have to go there from now on .. they have no preservatives ... thanks for the suggestion !!
Also his higchair is a fisher price one , a hi lo type thing but we tried to pull it up to the table but it doesnt fit under there ...
If you pull it right under the table its too low and if you move it to the right hieght its too far for him to eat his food ...
we have been looking at thouse ones that go on the big chairs but our chairs have a huge cushiony thing on it and the boosters are unstable on it ... so it look like we have to invest in a facy one that will fit our table and chairs ...

Amy: his routine at night is we go for a walk then a short run in the yard , then dinner then bath then bed ... we try to calm him down on the walk , which for most of the time he is quiet , then when we get home i take the clothes off the line and dh plays with him in the yard ...
maybe i need to have his dinner ealier or something ,but this has been his routine for ages .. so im not sure where im going wrong :dunno:

gtg the whinging has started ... oh and he slept till 7 am .. heres hoping for a day nap today !

Lea, sometimes they buck the system. That's toddlerdom for you. My advice would be that you stop looking for what you are doing wrong and accept that no matter WHAT you do, if there is a boundary they will test it.

DD will not allow me to spoonfeed her. SHe feeds herself and will not eat if i am near her - she just chucks the food on the floor. I have found the best thing to do is give her something visually identical to what i am eating, put her in her high chair (she complains, but i ignore her) fasten her in so she can't climb out, give her a drink, her food and her spoon/fork, and leave her to it (i'm either at the table but not close enough to touch her or sat to the side on the sofa a few feet away). I do not watch her or comment or interfere in any way. If i so much as pick up something she can't reach unless she has asked me to she hits the roof. Most days she feeds herself peacefully. Today she chucked stew everywhere, but if i try to help she ALWAYS chucks food everywhere so it's worth the risk for a chance she'll do it rather than a certainty.

There is a babylock on her bedroom door. THis is mainly because i'm a single parent and worry she'll get up in the night and harm herself, but it also means i know once she's in bed she is absolutely safe (there is nothing in her room she can harm herself on). At bedtime i give her a bath or a shower, brush her teeth and read her a story, then i put her to bed, turn the lights off and fasten the child lock on the way out. If she gets up i go into her room and say "It's bedtime. Get back in bed" and make her do so. If she won't i pick her up and put her in bed. I do not shout but i *insist*. She will get back in bed even as she cries and shouts "naughty mummy!" at me. I then tuck her in, kiss her, and say "Night night baby" and leave immediately. I do not get her up under any circumstances. I do not linger in there under any circumstances. I do not talk with her, debate bedtime, offer toys or books apart from her comfort toy, or get into anything at all. Most of the time i don't even look right at her. If she is crying and distressed i will cuddle her and say "shhh, it's bedtime baby" and put her back in bed. She has a comfort toy i make sure she always has, and a cup of water in case she is thirsty in the night (she doesn't get bottles ever or anything but water after teeth brushing). Most nights she settles without problems, every now and again she won't go to sleep and i am putting her back in her cot every 10 minutes for 3 hours. This is fine. The rules remain. Bedtime is bedtime.

If i were you i'd decide how you want things to be and then go through the motions again and again until he gets it. He will ALWAYS test you, especially when he knows you are tired and sick (he'll have noticed mumma isn't going her normal speed), it is normal and shows what a bright, observant little boy you have.

Some kids, DD is one, it sounds like Nixon is one too, find it really hard to "let go" of the day and go to sleep. They are smart, they are afraid they might miss something, so they fight it and fight it until they are exhausted and can barely function. It's normal. To combat it i try to be very firm about bedtime and very calm in the face of her cries and screams and tantrums - i'm trying to show her, see, mumma isn't acting worried because sleep isn't worrying, it's good. Sleep is a nice bit of the day.

FWIW i try to wind her down for at least an hour before her shower/bath, so no running about outside, no songs except slow lullaby ones, nothing "exciting" at all. I try to make everything calm and slow and boring so that going to sleep isn't a wrench away from potential fun stuff.

Hang in there hun. If you must judge your parenting by results, wait until he is AT LEAST 30.

Bx

Also honey, if he's had one bottle of milk and is unsettled, do what we do, we give the girls another bottle of water for them so suck on during the night. This way if they are really thirsty, or they give themselves a sore throat from crying, the water will soothe it and help them drift off. I have found it works and even now, the girls get a non spill sippy cup of water to go to bed with so they don't dehydrate and it really helps settle them...

oh I forgot about the water thing.. ALthough when I tried that for the first time with my eldest he was around 15 months I think as I walked out of the room i got hit in the head with it lol.. Was not impressed

thanks bec , nix is really defiant .. we did have a neighbour come over and ask is if everything was all right ... it was really embarassing

pmsl at nic .. with the bottle hitting you in the head ...

he is pretty tired now , he is in bed slightly whinging ... but no screaming ...

ok there it is .. :rolleyes: i will go in and give him a book to clam him down and at least get quiet time ...