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Blakesmummy
Firstly, I'm not passing judgement - I smoked throughout my pregnancy but I cut down from five a day to one a day.
Whilst every cigarette is bad for baby, it's obviously not going to be so bad if you can cut down. Better to quit altogether obviously but if you can't do that in one go, then maybe try cutting down instead.
I got REALLY aggro with my GP who started giving me the lecture about smoking. I don't deal well with lectures especially when I'd been honest enough to say that I did smoke. I asked him to show me from all the books on his shelf where it says specifically what damage I was causing my baby from smoking two (at that time) cigarettes per day. He couldn't.
I also told my obstetrician and he didn't give me a lecture - he just said well done for cutting down (which I respond much better to) and was not at all fussed that I was smoking two a day. Since I've gotten to know my obstetrician better, I'm SURE he would have been much more firm if he thought I was putting my baby at risk. He's not a 'couldn't care less' type - he's just quite sensible about everything.
So, I think the more you can cut down the better but if you can get your smoking down to a very low level, then I don't think there will be any serious harm to your baby.
My baby is very healthy. And she was 8lbs 10oz.
I'm not trying to excuse my smoking (or yours) - it would be far better if we could both give up but don't stress yourself about it so much that you just want to reach out for the fags! It's a bit of a vicious circle sometimes.
dont be so hard on yourself, im not a smoker myself, but its not easy to give up i know, i have watched a lot of people try, some stick to it, other just cant do it!
i think its great that you've made the move to at least try!! that deserves praise!
your not a lousy mother! i read a thread a little while ago about smoking in pregnancy, and while im not 100% sure of the dangers to the baby, my mum smoked while pregnant with me & while breastfeeding... and i turned out just fine!
i wish you lots of luck in quitting! dont beat yourself up about it, you'll get there eventually!!
omg one a day thats brilliant!!! congratulations on that, its a huge effort.
before pregnancy i smoked up to 25 a day, and now i try not to have anymore then 10ish. its a cut, but obviously not to the point of what i want.
I jsut feel so desperate
darl i smoked right up until 6 months.. had to cut right back and quit.. i've had a few days of weakness from a few stresses im going through.. but i went to the doctor.. babies heart beat was fine...and she's a big bubba! dont' stress darl.. because stressing about quitting smoking only makes you want to smoke more good luck
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hey there...
not a smoker myself but both my mother and MIL smoked through their pregnancies with me and DH. We're both fine. I know it was a while ago and opionions have changed, but at the time my mother was told to not give up due to the amount she smoked. If she had gone through withdrawal while pregnant she wouldve done more harm than good.
My advice would be just to try and cut down....
you know what though blakesmummy... shock tatics rarely work hey! when all those ads came out the really gross ones.. i didnt even flinch.. until i quit for 9 months (like a year ago) then i was like eww thats gross....lol like i said dont stress about it .. your doing well to cut back !!!
hun... it's hard. I was the same as you, I completely beat myself up about smoking which actually made it so much harder!! Firstly, good on you for having strength to admit to people here that you smoke... I wasn't strong enough to do that!! I stopped the day before he was born (cos I went into labour overnight) and haven't had one since. He was perfect and healthy and I looked at him and he gave me the strength. I promised him that I would do everything in my power to never smoke again. I didn't promise I wouldn't but rather everything possible not to. I know it's hard not to give yourself a hard time, but try not to. I used to end up crying as I lit a smoke cos I was scared but couldn't stop either. Feel free to email me if you want to talk more... achoffmann at bigpond . com. Oh and having said that... I haven't had one since he was born, but there have been days where I've really wanted it but haven't cos I think how he might think I smell.
When I fell pg with Kat, I knew I'd have to quit smoking. I'd had 3 previous m/c and I am sure the stress and hence increase in smoking is what caused me to m/c. With Kat, I was married and secure and we BOTH so wanted the baby. I decided I would quit. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. First off, I tried so hard to quit, and could not manage it straight out. So I cut right down to 2 a day, and only when stressed would I allow myself a drag or two. Then I changed my habits. I wasn't allowed to smoke inside as Dh didn't smoke and I smoked more at work anyway cause being a nurse, a lot of us did and would go on break together. So I cut out coffee and stopped going outside for breaks. This meant two of my main triggers were gone. M/Sness helped too cause my body soon decided it didn't want me having coffee anyway. If I really really craved a cig, I'd say "Ok, just two drags" then put it out for later on. I kept telling myself that every drag less I had was one more breath my child would be able to take without a wheeze. In this way I was not stressing my body so much and I was still cutting down. By the time I was 20wks preg, I had completely stopped smoking.
Once I had Kat, I went over to a friends place, she was smoking and I wanted one. I had one drag and put it out. I realized I didn't like the taste anymore. I've probably had maybe 1/2 a cig since and that's been one drag at a time when I have been so very stressed. Last yr when I started work and was fighting with DH all the time, I went a bought a pack. I light the first one and put it out after one drag. I didn't like the taste and forcing myself to have it was making me feel sick. I gave the pack away a few days later. I wanted more kids and taking up the habit again would simply mean having to quit again.
My advice is simply this. Do it by degrees. Cut down. Smoke half a cig at a time. Then eventually change habits. Stop drinking coffee or take breaks inside doing some work at the same time or something. Anything to take ur mind off wanting a cig.
You are doing well honey. And u already love that baby, that's for sure. I am incredibly proud of everyone who cuts right down or quits during pgcy.
My older sis cut down to 2-3 per day and my best friend did the same. They both have healthy kids.
Goodluck honey, I know u can do it.
I had a 20-30/day habit when I found out I was pg. Lord, I can hardly believe it now. I didn't want to be pg, and I didn't want to quit smoking, dh smoked and most of our friends do too so it was really hard for me at first. When I got a positive test result, the first thing I did was light up and suck one down like my life depended on it.
First I cut it in half. Then after a few weeks I'd cut that half in half. So by the time I was 20 or so weeks (which HAD been my own mental cut off date) I was having maybe 3-6 a day. I knew that was less bad for me and the baby, and I thought positively- that is, I encouraged myself for cutting back as much as I had. And kind of used that positivity to help me keep cutting down. I figured if me quitting was slow and steady, but stuck then it was better than going cold turkey several times and destroying my self-confidence every time I couldn't resist.
I guess about a month ago DH was finally mentally ready to quit. I didn't nag at him or anything, I figured it had to be his own decision in order for it to be lasting. He had cut back a little, and I knew he realized that his smoking was impeding me quitting. Like, if I had one, or half of one, he would act like I was being awful and I'd point out he was smoking, too. That was all I said. Anyway, he's been on patches for the past month and I've pretty much quit. I have had the odd one every now and then but I think I'm mostly over it.
My baby is perfect and right on with weight and measurements, as far as they can tell. I figure that several generations of women smoked through their pgs without knowing any better, and that plenty of women still do even though they do know better. And probably most of them had fine babies.
Try to focus on the positives, and don't beat yourself up. You're already being a wonderful mum for trying to quit. Focus on how much progress you've already made, and how much money you've saved, and how much better your skin looks, how much more you can smell, the fact that you don't stink of smoke anymore etc. I tried to think about it in terms of something I was doing for myself; the fact that I was expecting a child was a catalyst, but I thought of quitting as something to help ME feel better. Cause in a lot of ways, for me smoking was an identity thing. Does that make sense?
One thing that's helpful for when you REALLY want one is to do something else, something active. I've been doing a HEAP of baking the past few months, sometimes really late at night. DH likes having apple pies and homemade breads and thinks Im spoiling him, but mostly it was to give myself something else to do when I was jonse-ing.
I didnt find out I was PG with DD till I was 8ish weeks... i was smoking at least 1 pack a day at the time. Luckily for me as soon as I left the GP's office I threw out the smokes and was able to give up for good there and then.
My my DH it was alot harder for him and took him months & months (I wanted him to give up so it didnt tempt me,lol) but finally kicked the habit. Even though we never smoked inside etc or he never smoked if we were outside both together I was so proud of him.
You have already taken the 1st step & have cut down heaps so dont beat yourself up. quite a few of my friends/family have smoked all the way through their pregancy & have had big healthy babies.
My cousin smoked right up till she had her DS, as soon as he was born she went out for a smoke but the smell made her sick and that was the end of her smoking days.:
I stopped the day before he was born (cos I went into labour overnight) and haven't had one since.
Did you also know that smoking increases your risk of still birth, sorry just had to chuck that one in as a lot of smokers don't seem to know that fact. Not judging, just informing in case you didn't know.
Anyway, I work with a lady who smoked throughout her two pregnancies. She had completely trouble free pregnancies and births and both kids have no issues yet (they are 3 years and 6 months). Her 3 yo boy does now have some issues with putting on weight though (even though early on he was a real podge) so I'm not sure if that's related.
If you want to give up all you can do is do your best. Good luck.
Yes i am well aware of that, hence why i am quitting.
Just remember as well that it can be just as dangerous for bub to give up "cold turkey". Taking it slowly isn't such a bad thing.... Remember if you are going through nicotine cravings, bub is as well.
Take your time, you are doing so well already.
Hi Satya,
I don't think that it is helpful telling a pregnant woman who does smoke that she COULD have a stillborn child - I think it is quite cruel actually...this just brings about feelings of shame, guilt and helplessness. Smoking is an addiction like any other.
I smoked during my first pregnancy and continued throughout breast feeding, my partner managed to give up after our first bub was born, however he was a "chipper" and found it quite easy to cut it out.
I smoked throughtout my second pregnancy and managed to give it up a week before his birth, I took it back up when he weaned at ten months of age.
with my third pregnancy I gave up when I was 8 months pregnant and took it back up when he was 12 months old after he weaned. My due date was yesterday and I have failed miserably to give up on the numerous quit dates I have set this time round.
I don't tell people that I am a smoker (although they can smell that I am, no doubt) I don't smoke in public because of the shame (if I do I hide). Smoking is an addictive nasty habit - I am ashamed of it and wish that at the age of 13 I had never picked one up - but I did.
Saying this I don't understand why smokers take all the blame for this horrible addiction and the government takes none - smokers are victimized and treated like social lepers, however the government still permits the selling of tobacco, smoking is still marketed to our children in box office movies and tobacco companies have now moved their sights to promoting this habit in developing countries.
It easy for those that are not addicted to cigarettes to lecture, demonize or to pass judgement on what type of person you are - I couldn't begin to imagine what it would be like to be addicted to alcohol therefore it is easy for me to say stop drinking or to tell an pregnant woman who is an alcoholic that she is damaging her unborn child and that her baby will more than likely be mentally retarded.
Giving up cigarettes is an absolute struggle for me - I became addicted at an early age - I am not intentionally trying to damage my baby, I did not think at 13 "hey I musn't smoke because I want to have babies in the future and smoking endangers the life of an unborn child"
I hope that I can give this habit up once and for all...preferable while I am still alive to do it. My father was a smoker, gave up in his forties, however had a stroke in his fifties. When I visited him at the hospital before his operation to unblock his corotids, he was in a ward with a lot other smokers or obese older men who had lost limbs or had had their chests cracked open, it was a sad sight, however if you looked directly out the hospital window below there were the doctors, nurses and other hospital workers puffing on there cigarettes - perhaps a non smoker can see how ridiculous that truly is, however it does illustrate how horribly addictive it really is.
I found i was pg when I was 6 weeks with my first and I was a smoker. I quit that night, however it was a struggle and I took it up again the week before he was born.. I didn't quit again till 4 years later when my 2nd son was on the way
I would go to your GP and ask what other options you have available to you. Maybe cut down on the mg cigarette you have? so drop to 4 then to 1. after a while you may not crave them as often..
I hope you can give it up for both our sakes. :hug:
Firstly i would like to say that i am and have never been a smoker so i don't know what you ladies go through day to day, however my DP did give up a month before DS was born and he was a pack a day man as well as a rollie pack a week. He had tried to quit numerous times before and i guess the impending birth of his child was the strength he needed to proceed.
I certainly will not demoralise anyone who does smoke because i don't know what there circumstances are and i applaud Sarh_H & s361768for there comments on this stance.
I would just like to congratulate all of you caring ladies for being so responsible in cutting down the habit to start with and remember the stress will probably do more harm than anything else!
s361768
It is hard for people who dont have addictions to relate to those who do which unfortunatley is seen everyday in the way we treat people addicted to any form of drugs we tend to look down at them and judge.
However in saying that I dont think that informing someone of the fact it can increase the risk of still born was ment to be cruel. When someone has already lost one or two children and been doing the "right" things throughout their pregnancy but still loose their baby it is harder to be understanding to people who seem to be intentionally harming their baby.
We all have choices. But in saying that there is still a safe way to quit and as a dr informed my friend when she was pregnant and smoking that quitting cold turkey can put more stress on the baby so taking it slowly is the key.
I personally feel that a non-smoker jumping in and saying to a group of pregnant women (who are trying their best to give up/modify their highly addictive habit for the health sake of their babies) and saying by the way you know that smoking increases your chances of having a stillbirth..... is quite insensitive. I think all women of 2008 would know this piece of infomation no matter education level.
I understand that we all have choices - but that is easy for someone whose bodily organs (the brain) and tissues don't require a particular chemical to function, to say.
Saying all this though I do 100% understand that a pregnant woman who is not a substance user and who has had prior miscarrages would find it incredibly distressing and unfair that other pregnant women are smoking, drinking, taking illicit substances, drinking more than 5 cups of coffee a day - especially considering their own personal loss.
s361768 The comment made was not meant in a rude or hurtful way. I was on antidepressants. I could say the same thing when people told me what "might" happen to my baby. (and they did) We all make hard choices in live. I say bravo to all that are trying to quit.
Wishing you all the very best.
s361768 I Totally agree with what you said and it's good that there are women out there who know exactly what it's like. I totally understand the shame side of it.. but you know what .. at the end of the day I gave up caring what other people thought and I think it's disgusting that people make you feel like ***** over something that is a hell of a lot harder to quit than what people realise. But yet when you hear about heroin addicted women people go 'aww that poor girl must be hard'... either way.. you quit CONGRATS to you. but if you can't dont beat yourself up because stressing about what other people think gets you no where. It doesn't make you a bad mother it's a horrible addiction that is hard to quit.. and people who dont' smoke or who've quit easily than others really in my opinion shouldn't cast judgement. And i totally agree with pointing out obvious statments like "do you know your child could be stillborn" cause that just reiterates (sp?) the guilt and shame factor all over. My personal opinon Blakesmummy as i've already said.. your doing a great job and dont let other peoples opinions/negative feedback stress you out or get to you.. you will quit in your own time when your ready.. you need to quit on your own terms not because your being hounded into doing so
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Mummatotwo.... Fortuneately Im on zoloft for my anxiety/depression which is thankfully the most studied to see the effects on pregnancy and baby... I've only been told that closer to my due date just to cut down my dosage just so its easier for bub when she's born... I couldn't imagine having to go through my pregnancy without them though as well as trying to give up smoking!
Mummatotwo, i'm sure you are doing fantastic! Its important to stay positive, no matter what you are trying to beat, and know that you are a fantastic mummy to cares so much about their little one, and that everything you are putting yourself through now is to show them how much you care!
Feel free to keep posting in here, letting us know about your good (and not so good) days!
Well done!
Well done on smoking less today! You are going to have up and down days, but you will get there.
well first of all i will give my personal story here but in no way do i condone the fact that i am a smoker i am a well educated 36 year old mother of 5 soon to be 6.
i had my first child 17 years ago i was young and scared so the thought of giving up never even crossed my mind as well as the fact that my whole family smoked and all us kids had been born fine and healthy and to this day still are,number 1 was quickly followed by the next 3 and yes i smaked through every pregnancy and with the first 3 wasnt even told to cut down(how things have changed)
was told we couldnt have any more babies do to some ladie probs and 4 yars later bang here comes number 5 it was a shock and yes as much as i hate to admit it not one we hjandled well my smokeing went through the roof this time i did get curry from all quaters mostly the doctors i asked them tp show me some concreat proof of what smoking was doing to my baby they told me all the usuall stuff increased m/c,pre term labour,small birth weight,still birth,and a few others i cant rememberbut they coulnt prove to me that it was only from smoking or even from smoking at all anyway we were once again told you most certantly cant have any moore babies as your reproductive system is shoot ok well we had 5 healthy kids and what do you know 7 years down the track and yep here comes number 6 (i will not be taking there word for it again he is getting sniped lol)i am now 33 weeks along and as you can imagine have been told in no uncertin terms this is not on i have cut down but by no mean by enough and i know this i also understand that if you do it all by the book and then someone like me comes along that it seems so unfair.all my kids were born post dates by at last 10 days (so there goes pre term labour)have never had a m/c that i know of (very lucky i know)my babies birth weights were 6lbs 14oz,7lbs8oz,7lbs 6oz,9lbs 2oz,9lbs 11oz and no i have never had gd so thats not the reason for the high birth weights and they did a sizing scan last week on this bub and they are saying already6lbs(so there goes low birth weights) never had a still birth (thank god) but i am a very stressy person have had pnd twice and have been told by both doctors and midwives that anything that releaves stress is better then stress itself ,im not saying you should smoke as a matter of fact i wish id never gone there in the first place myself but i can only do what i can do ,my kids are all healthy not even ever had athsma very rearly sick and as they are now 17,15,13,12and 7 so far so good i know people who do everything spot on and it still goes wrong i honestly beleave a lot in life is luck,chance,fate whatever you wish to call it ,try to always remember you are a great mother sure we may stuff some of it up along the way and we dont always do everything we should but we are not perfect and are not ment to be ,mother hood is the most guilt ridden thing you will ever come across we beat ourselves up over just about everything we do or dont do ,if you think you are a bad mum just think you can always read this and think compered to her im good not only do i smoke all but one of my babies were induced and i hope they induce this one to i must be one of the only few people who dont think its not that bad i only breast feed 2 of my bubs and not for long and wont be doing it this time either,but you know what i am over worring about what other people think of me nd the main reason for this is my kids are all healthy and i am the most important person in there world so for me i got the really important stuff spot on.
sorry this is so long i had no intention of it being maybe this has been on my mind for awhile LOL
Mummatotwo well done...you are doing great!
Frazaled1971 just a comment....you are one of the lucky ones that the smoking and and lifestyle haven't as of yet affected your ability to conceive and nourish your babies...on the other hand i think the DR's know what they are talking about when they talk about the risks associated with smokes and drugs in general. I used to think the way you do until i started to get ill about 12months after i had DS. The reason i started to get ill was because of everyday lifestyle and passive smoking, yet i don't blame DP for this. I have been a non smoker and an occassional drinker (maybe 1 or 2 once a month) all my life and had what i would have called a reasonably healthy life...but obviously not. I now am seeing a natural therapist to clean and detoxify my body to bring me back to a healthy state just so i can concieve naturally again. I think it is naive of yourself to think that putting any sort of chemical in your body is not ever going to affect your health in general.
Lastly i think what all you ladies are doing by trying your hardest to reduce your intake and quit is the best thing you can do for yourself and your family.
I don't think that's what she was saying though.. she's not saying it's NOT going to negatively affect her...
I have read somewhere once this : That beating the odds about smoking in pregnancy - ie having a healthy child even though you smoked, is nothing to boast about. IT's not something to be proud of liking beating the odds in surviving and illness or cancer. You are taking the risk with your baby's lives, it's definately nothing to boast about.
Before everyone gives it to me - with this baby, when I conceived I was a heavy smoker. I also have anxiety problems and have been classed as having a highly addictive personality. I've had a hell of a lot of hardship in my life and smoking was my one 'safe' addiction to cope. (not safe, but not as destructive as some) I nearly broke down wondering how in the world I would ever give up smoking. But the way I did is I saw it as child abuse for myself, that I was asking this baby that had no choice to have nicotine pumped into his system. I rang the QUIT line (their number is on every smoking packet) and everytime I felt like a smoke, I would read pages I'd saved from the internet about what I was doing to my baby. And I ate lollies, I ate bloody thousands of them, and it helped.
I gave up cold turkey at 7 weeks. I slept alot, was the biggest ***** in the world, but the cravings eased by 14 weeks. I nearly lost my baby a few times really early so that helped me put it in perspective.
I won't lie, it was one of the hardest things I had to do, but I always knew it wouldn't be as hard as if something happened to my baby because I smoked and that I would have to live with that guilt of being responsible.
I always saw it as not a choice, that I had to as it wasn't for me, it was for the baby.
I always said I would never give up smoking as it was my safe addiction like I said, I relied on it heavily to cope. Believe me, if I did it, anyone can.
Good luck!
I smoked until about 10 weeks with both my DDs, it took me that long to give up completely so I know where you are coming from. i think quitting smoking is one of the hardest things you can do so good luck! I found rewarding myself with little things for each week I went without smoking helped me.
Ok, this probably isn't going to be the most popular opinion around, but here it goes anyway;
when I found out I was pregnant, I was smoking about a pack a day. I started smoking when I was 13 and since then, smoked anywhere from 1/2 a pack to 2 packs a day. I still quit smoking when I found I was pregnant for one reason - I had no choice. I simply could not put a cigarette in my mouth knowing that my baby was going to recieve the same toxins I was. It isn't right to force a child of ANY age to smoke cigarettes. It's not just your body anymore, it's your babies body you're affecting as well. In my opinion, there's no excuse. What it comes down to is what's more important - your cigarettes or your baby. Yes, its hard, but that's not an excuse. If your baby is more important to you than your cigarettes, you won't smoke.
I hope that doesn't offend anyone, but thats MY opinion based on my experiences, as I was a heavy smoker for years.
As a smoker myself, who gave up through pregnancies, but succumbed occasionally, I can really see it from both sides.
As a Mod, can I please ask of all of you is to be sensitive and tactful in the way that you offer ideas & suggestions.
This is not a debate on the rights or wrongs of smoking during pregnancy, so if you are going to post, please offer constructive advice rather than judgement or antagonistic comments please.......thanks.
I totally agree lucy :)
I apologise if i offended anyone in my earlier post...i was kind of talking about the smoking and drugs in general and not just when pregnant. The past and present governments have alot to answer for when they make this drug so randomly available...it is just another addiction and like all addictions all we can do is try our hardest to kick it and i know it is easier said then done.
I didn't mean to offend anyone, since this is a discussion about smoking and pregnancy, I thought i'd put in my 2 cents, since I was a smoker when I found out I was pregnant. Didn't mean any harm.
Sorry if I offended anyone as well - re. my previous two posts.
I don't think that is it constructive for mothers or other pregnant women, even those that have managed to give up, to critisize or make other women feel bad for their addiction/s.
Not only are cigarettes physiologically addictive but they are also psychologically addictive too - how each person responds to cigarette addiction, withdrawal etc is individual. That is one reason why it is not right to judge and make others that are still struggling with their addiction feel like failures.
For example: By boasting that you gave up when you were pregnant....because you were horrified at the thought that you were poisoning your baby etc etc etc. makes me feel selfish, it makes me feel helpless - stating the obvious about the harms and risks during pregnancy does not help - it feels like women are coming in here and saying this to be spiteful, and all it does is invoke feeling of shame - because I know...I think everyone knows what the dangers of smoking are.
And saying.... "give up smoking then, if not for yourself but for your baby" is a comment I get a lot and I feel that this inflicts nothing but guilt. GIving up smoking is not easy, and it certaintly is not made any easier with comments such as these.
By the way this is not an angry post :) - I dont mean for it to come across that way, I am sorry if it does (I am not attacking anyone in this thread).
Well said... I completely agree 110%
i didnt post this thread to discuss the pros and cons of smoking. Yet i do respect all the posts that have been made.
i needed help. Simple as that, i know what effect it has on a baby, i think any Educated, mature, rational woman (or man) does. Knowledge is power, but its what we do with that knowledge is what makes the difference.
I've just started a thread for all the quitters to support each other on their journeys because it seems to me that there is a need for it
https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...56#post1138556