Breast Cancer ???

I sadly & heartbreakingly found out tonight (Sat) that my 27yrs old sister-in-law has breast cancer :cry:

... And my DP family had not told us until tonight, they thought we already knew as my sis-in-law had found out two weeks ago that she has it & had already started chemotherapy this week.

We were in shock with the news BUT also because of the lack of communication in DP family :wall:

... He had spoken to his Father tonight & he mentioned nothing of it. It wasn't until DP was speaking to his Mother that she said had we heard of the news. My DP can't believe that his own brother did not ring him to tell him of his wife's illness.

But he admits that his brother is just like that, doesn't talk about things & bottles it up :doh:

ANYWAY, my question is Does anyone know what she is going through with the chemo. What effect will it take on her ? We heard tonight that she was going to try for her 1st baby this year BUT has now been told she has to wait 5yrs before trying as she is now having chemo. Does that sound right ?

I myself went through a breast cancer scare in my early 30's but luckily I got it in time & had no chemo.

I'm trying to get an understanding of my sis-in-law situation. We are not close BUT that doesn't mean I don't care about her.

Hard part is my DP sister is due to have her 1st baby this month & I can't imagine how hard this is on my ill sis-in-law.

I hope someone out there can give me with some insight, especially inregards to the chemo treatment.

Thank you inadvance to anyone that can help me understand of what she may possibly be going through :pray:

Hi smiles, I can't shed any light as I haven't been through this experience. Just wanted to say what a shock that must have been for you and good on you for wanting to know more about it - I'm sure it will be helpful for you SIl to have someone understanding what she is going through.

My mum had breast cancer a few years ago and went through both Chemo and radiation therapy. The chemo made her feel quite tired and ill. But she did come through it ok, and was amazingly positive throughout. She still needs annual check ups but is now really well and cancer free. I hope the same is true for your SIL.

I don't really know about fertility, that wasn't an issue for my mum, but a friend's sister has had a few kids post breast cancer so it can happen. I know she was told to wait a few years and didn't. But it's hard to know, it's different for everyone and I think some women become infertile afterwards. So it's probably best just to wait and see what happens. There are so many possibilities.

Hi, Sorry to hear of your sis-in-laws illness. I cant imagine what it must be like to go through that. You sound like such a loving and caring s-i-l to her though, so its great that she has your support.

My aunty (mums sister) was diadnosed with breast cancer just before Christmas. She is currently undergoing Radiation therapy. I am not sure if she will be undergoing Chemo too though, but I am aware that the chemo makes you feel so incredibly worn out and nauseous. I spoke with her the other day and I am amazed by her positivity! Anyhow, she was telling me that it is quite draining on her both emotionally and phyisically, as I'm sure you can imagine. The radiation is basically making her feel like she is incredibly sunburnt, like she sat out in the summer sun for a whole day with nothing on to protect her. That, and really tired too.
Hope your s-i-l's treatment is successful.

The 5 year thing sounds right - there is a risk of getting breast cancer again if she gets pregnant during that time. I googled it and found an article that said pregnancy should be avoided for 3-4 years. This is because breast cancer is fuelled by hormones and of course during pregnancy you have huge surges of them and therefore would be more likely to see a reccurance of the cancer. From 5 years on apparently the risk factors are the same as a woman who hasn't had cancer.

As for chemo & radiation - my mum's been through both twice for breast cancer (and had both BBs removed) and she sailed through it all. I think her positive attitude helped. She got really bad burns with the radiation (some came up several months after treatment) and she found that the worst of it. She really didn't find it all that bad, so everyone's experience seems to be different.

.... Heartfelt "THANKS" to you all that gave me so much more Hope & greater understanding then I did a few days ago !!

Unfortunately I live on the other side of Victoria (over 3hrs away) to where my ill sis-in-law lives.
So, I can't be there physically to help her :(

... At least when I get a chance to speak to her I will have more insight about her illness & hope within my voice for her :rolleyes:

It's been a very sad week BUT yet a joyous week all in one as OUR other sis-in-law had her 1st baby (a boy) today);)

I'm fully aware that this will be hard for her to see as I know she was going to try for her 1st baby later this yr before finding out she had breast cancer & having to do the chemo now.

I do hope this new baby boy brings her some joy as I certainly know he has with me. I'm a second time Auntie in nearly 13yrs :)

... Thanks once again, ... You were all very honest & extremely kind with your words !!

Saw my 27yr old sis-in-law this past Sat nite since finding out she has breast cancer & has already done one lot of chemo & has 5 more to go !!

... She looked so amazingly positive & I felt so proud of her :clap:

Yeh, it was a shock no matter what when I 1st saw her with her cap on & hair cropped very short (it has started to slowly fall out) as it was a reality check to me that this is happening to her.

No one in DP family mentioned anything to her or each other which was great as it was like carrying on as normal BUT I felt the need to NOT be silent about IT & when I had a quiet moment on our own I had a brief chat to her & gave her the biggest hug on the planet. Might seem strange to say but it seemed like she really ENJOYED my big hug :rolleyes:

I guess also cause we have never been close & she can see I am clearly offering MYSELF to her in anyway I can to help soften this journey ahead of her :pray:

... When she was about to leave I gave her a ordinary plastic bag (to not draw attention) which I had a gift in it. I said to her not to thank me as it was something I wanted her to have.

It was an asian ceramic Wishing Pot. Which I popped a card in with the Pot & mentioned I was given one the same years ago. And that I asked for two gigantic wishes which came through in the biggest way back then.

I'm just hoping that she hasn't seen it as a silly suggestion or gesture. And hoping that it hasn't upset her.

*** What does anyone else out there think of my giving this to her ? Would it look like a simple kind gesture, that was what I was hoping for her or anything else positive that she might feel out of.

I'm absolutely putting my feeling aside & her's are much more important to me at this stage in life !!

Any thoughts would be appreciated as I'd rather be doing a right thing than something wrong or negative towards her !!

Aww smiles, your gesture of the wishing pot has made me cry! How beautiful and thoughtful of you.
A friend of mine went through chemo last year, I wasn't able to be near her, but we spoke when we could. She had some eggs collected before she started her first round of treatment, and then a couple of months after her last round,they found out they were expecting naturally. We were all amazed!

I think being able to just listen to her, about treatment or just life in general, is helpful. Let her know you are there whenever she wants or needs a chat, and that your DP is there as well.

Nic

AN UPDATE .... to those of you who might have read this thread before ... :rolleyes:


.... I have had the happiest of tears in my eyes since last night as my 27yr old SIL rang me last night to give us the greatest news that after finishing her 5 rounds of chemo ... SHE IS IN THE ALL CLEAR ... NO MORE CANCER :dance:

She won't even need surgery ... HOW BRILLIANT IS THAT :clap:

She will be of course monitored & be on hormonal treatment for sometime !!


... NOW the sad news ... my own older sister (she's 51, married with a 13yr old son) found out last month she has breast cancer. She had surgery to remove the lump last month & they discovered another lump which was removed 2wks later after the 1st surgery.
She will be having chemo & then radiotherapy soon ( & then hormonal treatment).

The Doc's said they are going to give it a super blast with the strongest dose of chemo ... & no stone is left unturned.

The Doc's are hopeful cause she only had a mamogram 2mths before & they consider 51 to be young. Also if you have your period still at this age it's a bonus so she can have the hormonal treatment too.

We had a get together at my parents this past weekend. She wanted them to see she is ok. As any parents they are stressing. As my Mum said even though she is 51 she is still her baby.

My sister is nuts about my 2yr old daughter Cendrine. Bummer is I live 4.5hrs away from my sister so I promised her if she needs a "Cendrine Fix" I will bring her to her. My sister loved that idea :hug:

So, I would love to think the Chinese Wishing Pot I gave my SIL helped ;) ... Reckon I'm gonna get one for my sister too.

PLEASE send positive & warm thoughts for my sister ... & big ' fingers crossed ' for her now that she continues her journey :crossfingers:

LIFE can be so testing ... a wonderful ending to my SIL journey ... and then a journey like this begins for my very own sister.

I need all the encouragement I can get to repeat the same energy I can to help my own sister as I did for my SIL :grouphug:

THANK YOU so very much for getting this far in reading this :)

I hope your sister can beat it just like your sister-in-law
Thinking of you and your family and sending you lots of strength!!

Hun, I am so glad that your SIL has had such fantastic news. I hope soon we will be hearing that your sister has the same great outcome.

Another UPDATE for those that read this thread of mine :rolleyes:

After my SIL been given the ALL CLEAR with the breast cancer ... SHE chose to have a mastectomy ...

as she did a genes test and she is a high carrier & is more than likely to get breast cancer again (both her Mother & Grandmother have had breast cancer too).

SIL had one breast removed last Thurs (after only been given 2 nights stay in a public hospital, ... that appalled me as she would have had a long 'ride' back home from Moorabbin to Morwell. The other breast will be removed later on and then reconstruction after that !!

GREAT NEWS is she is doing well !!!

As for my own sister who also has breast cancer she has had her 2nd chemo treatment which has made her incredibly fatigued & 24hr nausea this time (she is getting the strongest dose of chemo). Her hair is now all gone (mostly after 1st chemo) ... BUT she is still in such FANTASTIC spirits :clap:

THANKS TO ALL THAT READ THIS :grouphug:

I'm so sorry to hear this it's heartbreaking I know.

I was diagnosed with BC when I was 32 yo. I was 9 weeks preg at the time. To cut a long story short I had a termination, lumpectomy, chemo and radiotherapy.

It was nasty, almost broke my spirit BUT i got through it. I'm stronger, fitter and much much wiser now. I treat every day as a blessing and each day with my precious family is a gift.

A few suggestions for your sister and SIL as well perhaps. The best thing I did when I was having treatment was juice, juice juice. The best combination for keeping up energy and nutrition when having chemo is carrot, apple, beetroot and spinach (silverbeet). It boots your energy, is an excellent detox herb and builds stamina. The chinese herb astragalus is great for supporting your immune system (the chemo really knocks it around) and also a great liver cleanser is dandelion tea.

Please tell your SIL that there is light at the end of the long scarey fertility tunnel. I had the Adrimycin/CMF chemo (strong, as my tumour was a high grade) and 5 years later I have 2 beautiful children and I breast fed both from one side only. I waited 2 years and I am happy with our decision. I felt strong and ready to try for a baby and had no trouble, Ewan was concieved within 3 months and Paisley the first month.

BC is one of those things that touches almost everyone in some way. It's a beast and I desperately wish it banished from this lifetime for ever, but, it's here and as women we must all live with it.

For me it wasn't the end but a beginning of sorts. The beginning of a new found appreciation for the world I live in, how I interact with it, and the footprint I leave behind. It's also given me a new way of life of healthy eating and exercise. I treat my body with respect and I am in tune with it way more than I ever was before.

Now I know this all sounds a bit weird but I've stared the angel of death square in the eye and knew I wasn't ready and now I live my life differently. I just wish it didn't take this experience to make me see that.

I wish both your sister and SIL the very best.

Oh Kris I have just read your post after reading your PM to me ... and I sent you one back ... So sorry I did not see this here as well :rolleyes:

*** For anyone that reads this ... This beautiful lady " KRIS " sent me a private message offering to give my sister free of charge her very expensive wig ... HOW AMAZINGLY HEARTWARMING & INCREDIBLY GENEROUS IS THAT :clap:

KRIS ... I'm still speechless & I could never thank you enough for your generous offer :D

You have made a world of difference to me in just one night in reading your story !!!

THANK YOU ... THANK YOU ... THANK YOU

The BIGGEST HUGS to you KRIS ... from me ... Lorelle (smiles4u) :D

As odd as it seems to those who aren't going through the cancer rollercoaster I think it's good that your relos have had mastectomys. My mother had originally just had the affected breast removed and after she had recovered from all her treatment had the unaffected one off. Her surgeon wasn't exactly for it but did it because my mum just didn't want the risk. It turned out to be her saviour. During her second op they noticed the lymph nodes under the breast looked cancerous and sure enough they were. So she ended up having to go through it all again. In her case (she had inflammatory BC, the type you don't get lumps with) she will never be given the all clear, just get told that she's free of it for now.

My mum has been on Herceptin (sorry could be spelt incorrectly) for 3 years now and believes that it is what is keeping her well.

I wish your sister & SIL the best for their recovery.

Sad news hit my family again tonight ... after chatting on the phone with my older sister whom has breast cancer and she has done chemo & is almost finished her radiotherapy treatments (though it got delayed by 3wks after she got ill with a temp of 41.5 ... yes very dangerous & was able to come home from the hosp for Xmas) ... after her phone call tonight my DP's Mum rang to tell me her daughter-in-law (my 28yr old SIL) after we ALL thinking her cancer was free after finding out she had breast cancer last March she now has Brain Cancer. Apparently my SIL found out Xmas Eve and bravely did not tell us all on Xmas Day when we were all together because in her words she didn't want to ruin our Xmas Day.

OMG, i feel so sick for my SIL, my heart is just simply breaking for her.

I feel like i'm running out of room within me to help everyone. My own sister with breast cancer, my best friend of 30 yrs her Hubby killed himself recently & his funeral was just this week & she is in a bad state( i'm desperatley trying to help her thru this long journey ahead), and my other friend of 18yrs is going into a mental clinic this Sat for 2wks, found out yesterday a friends hubby's Mum died and my Dad is very ill.

Can anyone PLEASE advice me on where to get the strength to carry on helping and looking after my own family (DP & busy 2.5yr old DD). I strangely feel so guilty that my own little family is so well & good. I lately am feeling terrified something will happen to one of us next ... i'm not usually a negative person but 2008 was such a terrible year including our Gran passing away then the beginning of 2009 has also been heartbreaking.

Has anyone experienced these feelings before with so much sadness happening in their surrounding family ... i mean does it sound like a normal reaction as i'm wondering if i should see my GP as i'm starting feel anxious that i too will get seriously ill next !!

I would be so grateful for any very kind suggestions or advice (please keep in mind i do feel very sensitive these days with all that is going on and that DP & I have had 'NO' success in falling preg with a no#2 baby for 18mths now, which also is getting me down but not depressed about) !!

Please note i'm by no means feeling selfish i just need to keep myself in check so i can give 100% of myself to those that NEED me right now with the hell they are going thru !!

Heartfelt thanks to ALL kind replies from Lorelle xox

Oh hun :hug: What an awful run you have had. That is a lot to deal with and I am not surprised that you feel like you are running out of strength.

I am not sure that I can give you much advice, but I am sure you will find the strength. Just remember to look after yourself too. You need to refresh and recharge your batteries in order to have anything to give, so don't neglect yourself.

I certainly hope that is the end of bad news now for you, and the good news can start happening. :hug:

Aw Lorelle Im so sos so sorry this is happening your poor SIL!!! 28 :(

Please I know we are both busy beezs but I really think Annabelle and I should come over and the girls can play while we have a wine and a cry and mostly some laughs!
You need to lift your spririts in such a hard time. Otherwise you will be so run down and it'll be very hard to get back up again.
Your strength will come from your friends the ones who arn't involved with all this (like me ;))
Just as these family and friends of your's who are leaning on you, you need to lean on your friends :)

Oh Lorelle, what an emotional time you've been having. Just wanted to give you some HUGE hugs, and say I'm thinking of you...
Sounds like you are one amazing friend/relative to have sweetie..
Thinking of you, and all your loved ones..

Nic

Oh KASS you just the sweetest buddy ... what a gorgeous gesture ;)

Please know i feel so grateful & feel so lucky to know someone like you here in our home town of Ballarat but as you get to know me better you will soon find i'm a pain in the butt when it comes to coping with any kind of 'bad or sad' situation in my life as strangely compared to most women i'm the opposite and cope better on my own rather than seeking help from friends & ringing them to come be with me ... Yeh, i know a weird trait to have and yeh, i drive my mates nuts with it as they get frustrated with me & want to help me by visiting but i just always feel better to be on my own & think things thru & deal with it in that manner) :rolleyes:

But KASS my i have a raincheck on the visit & wine for maybe a happier time ahead ... i would love that (just give the 'pain in the butt me' LOL some time which i'm sure is going to take a long time with all that is happening) ;) ... Will see you & my sweet Bella-Ballerina for sure at playgroup :D

Lotsa wuv & hugs to you KASS for being YOU (Lovely Mumma) xox

Completely understandable Lorelle :)

The wine will still be here waiting :) Well not the same bottle of course ;):lol: Thats been polished off :lol:

You're not strange in dealing with it in your own little way. But if things get to much never feel ashamed to ask for a hand :) You're not expected to take all this on your shoulders ;) You only have small shoulders :p

Ill be here waiting when ever you're ready :hugs

To dear Lorelle, I'm so desperately sorry to hear this news. I can't give you any words to help ease the pain as there is just no way to do that.

So I will offer my thoughts...

Sometimes the journey with Breast Cancer gets the better of even the strongest and bravest of us. I know you will be questioning why this has happened and I want to say your reaction"what's next?" is perfectly normal. When something like this happens it makes us all stop and re-evluate our own life and our own experiences and wonder why some people seem to be 'luckier' than others. I don't want you to think you are luckier than your sister and that something bad will happen to you. Life is unpredictable, some people sail through without even a small glitch and then there are some of us that fight just to keep our heads above water. I don't believe it's luck. The really tough situations are only sent to those that can cope, call it Gods way or karma or whatever you want. I truely believe we are not given anything we can't manage. When it seems like all hope is lost and you can't go on, take a moment, sit quietly and find that place deep down inside where your true strength and courage lives and ask for help and guidance. Find the Princess Warrior within that all of us women have and you will get through. Your family needs your courage now, but don't be afraid to show you are scared and heartbroken. Strength comes from adversity and the saying "what doesn't kill you will make you stronger" is true. YOU WILL get through this and YOU WILL find a way to support your partner because quite simply you have to. Both your DP and your SIL will draw their own strength from your love and support just now.

Keep listening, keep,loving your family and try to keep going the best way you can. It won't be easy and it won't be pretty but you CAN get through this, you WILL get pregnant again if the worst happens and your beautiful SIL needs to leave this earth take comfort in the fact your children will have their very own special, loving and protective guardian angel watching over them and keeping them safe.

xxxx